Nilufer Ozmekik's Reviews > P.S.: I Hate You

This book hit me hard, making me embrace my own grief process, which is nasty, painful, and never completely heals. Even though the bleeding stops, the wound is always there, triggered by a small memory, a word, a place, or sometimes a person.

This bittersweet, emotionally compelling, but also promising enemies-to-lovers, forced proximity, self-exploration, and second-chance romance is engaging and well-written. It takes two people on a journey, both literally and metaphorically, to understand their pasts, learn forgiveness, and discover themselves, thereby changing their future paths. Maddie and Dominic have a task to complete a bucket list for someone they love, someone they never wanted to lose, and whose disappearance from their lives hurt more than they could imagine.

Maddie Sanderson returns home for the funeral of her brother, the only family she had after years of dealing with an abusive grandmother and narcissistic mother, abandoned by their father at a young age. Her plan to attend the funeral in Philly and return to Seattle without looking back changes when her brother’s best friend Dominic, who is the main reason she left home at 19 after he broke her heart, is there to read his will. The worst part is that her brother's dying wish is for her and Dominic to visit eight different cities, spreading his ashes, starting from Delaware to Alaska—a journey that may take them two years to complete.

Maddie is initially against her brother's decision to take a long farewell trip with the man who hurt her feelings, making her insecure about people who may always choose to leave her like her father, ex-boyfriends, and now her brother. But she cannot betray her brother’s last wishes, and with each coordinate they reach, they open a letter he wrote. These letters are the only things left from her brother, motivating her to continue this journey.

During their travels, Maddie confronts her resentments and finds missing pieces of her past relationship with Dom. She realizes her hatred turns into forgiveness, and she starts thinking they can even be friends because they need each other. But the hardest thing is not falling for the man who broke her heart into pieces. Can she manage that when he's all she can see, and what if their feelings are mutual? Can Maddie get over her insecurities and learn to open her heart, destroy her walls, and give happiness a chance?

Overall, this is a beautiful, meaningful, angsty, bittersweet grief journey, with two people finding themselves lost in the dark, holding each other to see the end of the tunnel. I hated Maddie’s mother and wanted to punch her every time she opened her mouth to push insecurities on her daughter with her abusive words. I loved Maddie’s tough healing journey and her chemistry with Dom. What more can I add? I loved this book and have added Lauren Connolly to my auto-approved authors list!

Many thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing Group for sharing this amazing novel’s digital reviewer copy with me in exchange for my honest thoughts.

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