Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
This is Let's Be Clear with Shannon Dorty. Everyone, welcome
to yet another episode of Let's Be Clear with Shannon Doherty.
That's right, Hat says it all. March is coming very soon,
which I'm really excited about it. Really cute things that
we're putting out there. So today's episode, I don't know.
(00:27):
I'm not in a very good mood, So I don't
really know what to tell you guys. You know, I
think I'm not a good mood for a couple of
different reasons. And one, I'm probably feeling a little sorry
for myself, which is not acceptable, and I know that,
so I apologize in advance. But I just keep on
(00:48):
asking myself, like, why is it that just because I'm
in the public eye and because I choose to share
certain things on a podcast, Why is it just there
for everyone? Meaning like, even before I choose to share,
it's out there for everyone. I don't understand why people
can't get divorced. And okay, so let me back up.
(01:11):
My attorneys for my divorce had to file more stuff
in court, you know, stuff to compel all of that
good stuff. And it's not like I go online and
look up people's you know, divorce proceedings and what they're
doing and what's happening. And you know, it's not like
(01:32):
I write the briefs that go into court. Attorneys do
same with my you know, soon to be ex husband,
Like he doesn't write the brief his attorney does. So
you know, they do their thing, which is great, that's
what you pay them for. But I've never looked up
somebody's divorce because I just feel like it's none of
my business. And if they choose to share it publicly themselves,
(01:57):
not not just from a filing, but them personally. They
do a podcast, they do an interview, whatever it is,
then great, then that's on them. Then they've decided to
share that. But I don't understand why the minute we
filed all these you know, trashy nonsense magazines, and you know,
(02:20):
I keep on calling them all out right, this is
it's getting annoying. The in touch weeklies, the tmzs of
the world, all of them. It just like, what are
you doing. You're sitting around and keep on checking a
divorce or government or whatever the hell you want to
call it site just to see if you can be
the first to you know, drop the bomb and break
(02:43):
the story. We all know I'm going through divorce. We
all know it's not the most pleasant thing. So for me,
I think I don't even know if it came out
yesterday or the day before. I've been avoiding it. I
have refused to look and literally until when I was
going to record this podcast, and it just was like,
(03:05):
oh my god. There's so many different nuances that people
will never understand, and to take something just from a
brief so that you can break a story is super
annoying to me. But it's also again, I don't do that.
I don't understand why people find it so fascinating, boredom,
(03:27):
wanting to make money off of a story. Whatever it is,
I can tell you that it's really hurtful, and unfortunately
there was no way for me to do it more privately.
It is what it is. You can ask a court
to have documents sealed all day long, the other decide
they're going to seal them or not. I've had court
(03:49):
cases where certain documents about my health have been sealed,
but other things have not been sealed. And this was
kind of the case here too. I didn't want this
all to be so public. Yes, I discussed sort of
what happened, but in very broad terms, a I could
(04:09):
get in trouble and be just because you know, maybe
I'm not ready to discuss it. Maybe I'll never be
ready to discuss like the full details. I don't know,
or maybe I'm just waiting for the divorce to be
over and then, you know, I'm happy to discuss it,
but I just think it should be on the two
(04:29):
individuals that are going through It should be on their
terms and not on everybody else's. So, you know, that's
been exhausting, because obviously a divorce is not easy, especially
when you really loved someone and I did love my husband,
and when you get so hurt by their actions that
you just feel betrayed and like a sucker. It's really hard.
(04:53):
But also because I'm going through a lot of health stuff.
I am, as we all know, stage four cancer, which
is at this point in time not curable. But protocols
start working, your body adjust to them, becomes immune to them,
your cells change, or cancer cells adapt, the molecular makeup
(05:15):
of them changes, and then you have to go into
a different protocol. But before you even realize what's happened,
you know your cancer progresses and I back in twenty sixteen,
when I got my very first chemo, I had to
get a port right here on my chest. You can
get a port either in your chest or I believe,
(05:37):
on your arm somewhere, and I chose chess because I
was told that it was the best place in the
sense of like you're not hitting it all the time
when it's on your arm. And I remember when I
finally was told I was in remission and I was
able to get the port out because the port was
in for I think a solid year, and it made
me feel awkward right like the port made me feel
(06:01):
because it kind of stands out. It's like a thing
for those that are not familiar, it's a little round
thing that goes into your chest and it kind of
pokes out a little bit. Yes, your skin covers it
because they put it under the skin, but it still
protrudes from your chest. And I just always remember being
(06:23):
uncomfortable with this poured in and feeling like it made
me feel more and more and more sick mentally. And
so when I was finally able to get it out,
I was thrilled. I was over the moon. I was like, oh,
I'm normal again, even though I have like a scar there.
I just felt like I had really turned a corner
(06:43):
in cancer and had beat it. Flash forward, Obviously I
didn't beat it. I went to stage four and I
was really on like a lot of chemo pills and
stuff of that nature. And when I finally had to
start doing an infusion, and I opted to not do
a PORT and instead I opted to go through the
(07:06):
process of getting you know, an IV needle and having
them do the chemo through IV. The end result, of course,
is that I collapsed all my veins in my left arm.
I couldn't do it in my right arm because of
lymph nodes being removed in twenty sixteen and so you'll
have to worry about like deema and all of that stuff.
(07:28):
So I really crashed my left arm. But I thought
I was fine cut to now and I am having
to go back on chemo and I now know that
I can't do it the way that I was doing it,
that I have to get a PORT and it's really hard,
(07:49):
Like the idea of going through that all over again
has wrecked me. Sorry, I'm gonna pause for a second
collect myself. It's works me in a sense of like, yes,
(08:18):
I knew i'd stage four. Yes I knew it was
really serious. Yes, I've taken steps to you know, protect
my family and you know, clean up a lot of stuff.
But when you have to go to the hospital and
you have to you know, get put under in a port,
put in you, it becomes very real in an incredibly
(08:40):
different way because I have no idea how long I'm
going to be on the chemo for. I have no
idea if it's going to be you know, three months,
or if it's going to be six months, or if
we're gonna, you know, if after three months it's not working,
if we're going to change again, Like I don't really,
that's not something that I can predict. It's not something
(09:02):
my doctors can predict. And it's it's scary. It's like
a big wake up call. At the same time, I
got to say that there is some positivity there, and
the positivity is that because my molecular structure of my
cancer cells changed recently, it means that there's a lot
(09:24):
more protocols for me to try. So, you know, for
the first time in a couple of months, probably I
feel hopeful because there are so many more protocols now,
whereas before I was hopeful, but I was still getting prepared.
And now I'm like, oh, I don't need to be prepared.
I need to go on a vacage. I need to
(09:47):
go on a boat again and explore places. I will
forever be that girl who is like bucketless, bucketless, bucketless.
Even if I was, you know, now I emorymission, I
would still always be like, I need a bug listen,
I need to start fulfilling it. But so there is
hope mixed with my own bit of sadness because again,
(10:12):
I just don't know what all these chemos and it's
more than one chemo that I'm going on. We're kind
of throwing like the kitchen sink at it. So I
think I'm going on two different chemos within the same day,
and I don't know how I'm going to feel. I
(10:32):
don't know if I'm going to be, you know, throwing
up like I have on other protocols. I don't know
if I'm going to be, you know, passed out on
my sofa and my den with the AC blasting because
I just don't fill well, and that is it's a
little scary. I know that I'm slowly going to lose
my hair again, which is horrible. I think this will
(10:53):
be the third time I've lost my hair, and every
single time, like the first time I lost my hair
grew back and it was actually really cute. It was
like kind of curly wavy. Right now my hair is
like super wiry and coarse, and it'll be stick straight,
(11:15):
but like coarse where it just goes in all directions.
And a lot of you have commented on my fabulous hair,
and I tell you this is like so in weave
basically that this place called Lucinda Ellery out here does
for cancer patients and it's pretty amazing. You can get
(11:37):
MRIs with it. It has no metal and it just
stays like. You can wash it, you can go swimming,
you can do whatever, and you've just got this, you know,
nice hair. But underneath this beautiful weave is hair that's
like maybe this long, but it sticks out. But I
(12:00):
wake up in the morning it's really pretty. Maybe I'll
take a picture and share it on my social media
and track the progress of me going from my wave
to my real hair to what it becomes after chemo.
And I'm really aware with chemo, I'm like the girl
that doesn't do anti nasia medicine, and there's a reason
(12:22):
for that. When I did anti nasia medicine, I was
more sick. Interestingly enough, I couldn't throw up for like
five or six days, but I felt like I was
going to throw up, but the anti nausia was preventing
the throwing up. So like on this last protocol I
was on, it was well, no, I was on a
(12:45):
pill one and then infusion in her too before that,
so I instead of just throwing up right away, I
would feel like I was going to throw up for
five days, be really really really sick, and then I
would start throwing up, so it would last, like my
sickness would last I think like twelve days and then
(13:09):
and then I would have to go back on the
chemo like six days later or something. And what I
discovered is because I was like, just stop giving me
the anti nausea. And it was so funny because the
nurses were like no, no, no, particularly one nurse was like, no,
you need to take it, and I was like, don't
give it to me. I had to call them my doctor,
doctor Piro and be like, listen, you got to tell
(13:32):
them that I'm the patient. I know my body better.
Than you, better than anyone, and he was like, that's
absolutely true, you do. So I had stopped doing the
anti nausea and what I found was that I was
sick the first three days, like throwing up, and then
it stopped, and then I just needed one day of
(13:52):
like pure sleep and then I was fine and my
life returned like back to normal. So I don't know
what this new protocol is going to be like, and
it's you know, it's really scary to know that I
go in for my port tomorrow. I go in, you know,
I start chemo. Probably a couple of days after this
(14:15):
episode is out. I go in for my first round
of chemo, and and to just be walking into the unknown.
I just feel like my life has been unknown for
over a year now, between divorce and cancer. It's like
I have no grasp on it and I have no control.
And most people who know me know that I'm like
(14:37):
a control freak. I like to control things, and with cancer,
there's really no controlling it. And it doesn't matter how
much research I do, it doesn't matter how much like
natural holistic, like believe me, you guys, I try everything.
I'm I'm very much a person who is open to
(14:58):
all of that and it doesn't help me. And medicine
and science has kept me alive and helped me the longest,
but it comes with fear. Doesn't matter, you know, Like
I asked my doctor today because I had to go
get a bunch of prey op done, and I was like,
am I going to lose my hair? Am I going
(15:18):
to do this? Am I going to do? Like? I
had ten thousand questions for him, and you know, he's fabulous,
so he answered all of them. But you know, sometimes
the answers aren't great. Sometimes you're like, oh again, I
don't want to lose my hair. I don't want to
be sick. I want to be a normal person. And
(15:38):
you know that brings up with some people who go, well,
you know, maybe you should just stop all of it
and have quality of life over quantity of life. And
I've had that thought, Believe me, I've been like, huh,
that's but I know that my quality of life is
actually being here longer, My quality of life is reaching Michael,
(16:00):
and you know, staying with my family as long as
I can, and really really pressing the organizations that I
work very closely with on a cure and research clinics
like one that I'm now involved in, and like I'm
you know, I'm not the person who likes to give
(16:21):
up very easily. I just don't want my sickness to
last that long. I'm very selfish apparently because I just yeah,
so I will, you know, try to be on here
a lot more. Not a lot more, but I'll try
to keep my schedule here. If I don't do an
(16:43):
episode one week, I apologize, it's probably because I'm super sick.
But I'm praying that that's not the case. Just like
I'm praying that you know, the headlines stop and that
people really learn to you and not you guys. I'm
talking about, like you know, depressed, that they really learn
(17:05):
that everyone deserves privacy and deserves to live a life
in quiet if they choose to, and then it's up
to them to share their health diagnosis, their divorce, their
new relationship, what's going on with their dog, like whatever
it is. It's I don't think actors sign up so
(17:30):
that they can be in every newspaper. You've got to remember,
I'm not a reality star. I didn't sign up to
be on reality shows. I didn't sign up to be
a celebrity and have my photo taken every single time.
The amount of press I turned down on a regular
basis is insane because I just have no desire to
do it. I signed up to be an actor, to
(17:52):
change out of Shannon into something else and be somebody else,
and I just really wish that there is some respect
for that, and more importantly that you know, our country
would lay down some laws like like to tmz okay,
if you're going to write about me, then your fair game.
(18:14):
When I dig through your trash, when I dig through
your closet skeletons, when I start talking about you, A,
I don't really care to talk about you. B I
don't have time. See it's too much negative energy and
bad karma and I don't want that. But you know
that is the reverse side of it, is that you
(18:34):
don't see actors doing that to these journalists who write
mostly false information about them or exposed stuff that nobody
has the right to know. So I know I'm jumping
around from health to press, but to me, all ties
in together, because right now I'm asking for privacy. I'm
asking to be respected by these journalists. That's right. I'm
(18:59):
doing air quotes, guys, because they're not really journalists. They're like,
I'm gonna be nice and just say that they're not
a journalists. I'm asking them to respect my privacy right
now and to leave me the fuck alone. And I
am sick. I'm going through stuff, and when I want
(19:22):
to share it, I will share it. Otherwise leave me alone.
I'll share it with my fans because I love you guys, journalists.
I like these journalists I'm talking about I have zero
respect for. And as far as health goes, you know,
fingers crossed, I'm praying for the best and tell you
(19:42):
I'm not going anywhere right now, and tell you that
the new researchers that I'm involved with that are helping
me cope with all of this, along with my main doctor,
I really believe in. I have a lot of faith
in their clinical trials are insane. I will share those
guys with you as soon as I get clearance and
(20:04):
as soon as I know how they're impacting my cancer.
But I'm going to cut this one a short day
because I'm really tired and I have to wake up
so early to go in for surgery tomorrow. But I
love you guys, Thank you so much. Thank you for
listening to Let's Be Clearishana Doherty. Merch coming soon and
(20:25):
updates coming very soon, but thank you