(00:04):
This is Rover's Morning Glory. Rover, excuse me, Sugi leader, the
Popsicans were cool, Charley millions ofabortions all the time. And Jeffrey.
My last babble was a foot longscreaming on Rover Radio dot Com. Rovers

(00:28):
Morning Glory starts now, Good morning, what's happening? It is Friday,

(01:02):
July twelfth, twenty twenty four.Good morning gets Rover's one of Glory.
I'm Rover. Peter is here.Oh, you you're with us as well.
Eight sixty six. Your Rover isthe number eight sixty six nine six
seven six eighty three seven. That'show you reach the show. Give us
a call at then you get textus at. That number comes into the
studio in real time. But thebest way to give us a call.

(01:23):
Charlie is here. I oh jeez, I was loud. Uh. Jeffrey
is here, Yo, Spencer ishere. Amen, Crystal's here. We're
all here. We're ready for you. You're with us and we have a
lot to talk about this morning.So I'll get to your email here in

(01:46):
just a moment. Crystal to you, Uh, theeter. I don't know
if your wife is like this,but it's really weird women are they If
you need something, they have it. It's in their purse. Like you
could be out, you could bewherever you go. Man, I wish
I had a blank and they haveit in their purse. Like, I

(02:07):
don't know all the crap they putin their purse. And they put stuff
in there that you would really onlyneed like once every ten years, but
they carried around every day every day. Really band aids, uh, band
aids, capstick. We'll try tothink what else they were having there.

(02:29):
Do you carry around a lot ofstuff, Crystal, Yes, Okay,
it depends on what bag I'm usingright now. I have a small bag,
but usually I carry around a littlebackpack purse and I can even fit
a bottle of water in my backpackpurse. And that's the reason. Yeah,
just walking around I have it always. Okay, do you have dates?

(02:53):
Well? Band aids. They're notworried about getting cut neater. I
learned this. They put these ontheir feet because another thing that women do.
They buy shoes that hurt, Yeah, but they look good. Why
as long as the heels look goodand they can wear them to dinner and
then the way home. What happens? They always walk out barefoot because the

(03:14):
heels hurt so damn much. Idon't understand. I don't understand this.
I suppose, Okay, it looksgood whatever. I don't care who you're
trying to impress, what dude you'retrying to hug up with. Whatever?
Who would prants around in these heelsor whatever? Shoes? It's not even
necessarily high heels. Is just anypair of shoes. Oh, these sandals,

(03:38):
Oh they rub against here or there, whatever, giving me a blister?
Like, why why would you buythem? Then? Why would you
why would you wear them? Ifyou bought them and they did that,
just throw them away. That's it. It's just really what if my wife
car carriers around tape that you canpeel off and put on the back of
your heel for protection if you geta blister or a She goes, I

(04:00):
got a hot spot. Hold on, I put tape on my heel.
What's a hot spot? Is thatjust right before you get a blistered type
of red circle? She feels thatshe knows it's coming on. Yeah,
she goes along. I put thetape out. It's the tape wraps.
So you guys like you could beon vacation or something. Walking down the
sidewalk somewhere, I feel a hotspotand then it's almost like a like a

(04:21):
an NFL player that has to comeout of the game real quick and get
his ankle retaped. Your ear shoecomes off, tape comes out right right,
she tapes it up. I havethat tape. But the tape that
I have actually is in strips,so it's a little flatter and easier to
throw in a purse. I woulduse it for my hiking boots where they

(04:43):
would rub on the back, andthen I started carrying them in my purse.
It's a couple of them. Younever know it. This is crazy.
Why so why do you buy shoesthat hurt so much? Well,
it might even be a pair ofsneakers that maybe where it sits rubs the
back of your foot. When thesneakers fit fine, it's just that one
spot might rub a little more,especially if you're walking around all day long.

(05:06):
You know, no socks? Isthat why why I wear short socks?
Are my shorter shoes. I justI don't like when I put a
pair of shoes. If I goto the store and I try a pair
of shoes on I immediately go,this is going to be a problem if
you feel that right. We alsothink, oh, this is the first
time you're worrying them. They're gonnabreak in. Yeah. Time ever fall

(05:28):
for that. They always like youever buy shoes, ever since I was
a little kid. You go in, you put in a you put on
a pair of shoes, and nomatter what they want to sell you,
they go, you go, Ineed a size whatever, and they go,
ah, they come back, theyalways have a half size different than
what you need. You put iton, You're like, eh, I
mean it's a little it's a littletight around the front of my foot.

(05:53):
Oh don't don't worry. It's leather. It will stretch. No, it
won't, No, it will not. They always try and pull this.
I know immediately when I put it, I go, it's not gonnap.
This is gonna be an issue atsome point anyway. The reason I ask
is I get up, I brushmy teeth, I put on my clothes,

(06:13):
I get in the car, andright when I pull on out of
the garage, I'm like, man, there's something. I there's something something
in my eye or something. Andthen you ever get like an eyelash that
like falls out or goes crazy orsomething, and it's like just you can
feel it up against your other eyelashes. Anyway, So I'm driving, I
keep trying to bruy feel it,and I brush it off, and I'm

(06:34):
like, then I'm trying to pullup my eyelashes, straighten them out.
I'm like, one of them mustbe nuts. And so the whole half
hour in I'm pawing at my eye. And then I get into the park.
I finally get into the parking garageand I park and I go,
I'm gonna take care of this.See what's going on. I look in

(06:56):
the mirror. It's not an eyelash. It's a crazy easy ass old man
eyebrow hair. Like this is somethingyou see like on your grandfather. It's
just like coming out of like aweird spot where eyebrows don't even come out
of normally, and it's coming outand it's long, and it's just then
it dips down right into my eyelashes. And I just feel this in my

(07:17):
eye all the time now, SoI need like some tweezers or some sissles.
You just rip it out. Tryyou did this? Is this?
Uh, it's almost coming out ofthe it's almost coming out of my eye
lid, almost like it's I don'tknow, it's like a weird place where

(07:40):
it's coming out of it. AndI pulled it. I pulled it three
times. I go, it's notcoming out. I just know it's like
skin. The skin is too pliablewhere this hair is coming out, and
the skin just pulls right when whenyou try and pull his hair out.
So I need the big guns crystalshere for you. I need. I
need some tweezers or something. Now, that's why he as girls carry everything

(08:03):
around. You must have some tweezersright maybe in my car right now,
maybe in my car maybe. UsuallyI do have a backpack here with everything
you could ever possibly need, flossers, little toothbrushes. I mean, I
have everything. Mega room where she'sgonna spend the night, and you have

(08:28):
a locker here, and that's whyI keep my backpack usually in there.
But since I was traveling, Itook my backpack home to use it,
so I don't have it here rightnow. And it does have tweezers,
I mean everything, a little sewingkit even just in case. Yeah,
but I also keep some of thosenecessities in my vehicle that way if I

(08:50):
was without my bag. Some ofthem are still around, but I'll check
for you. I could just besaying that because honestly, as I was
walking in thinking about it, Igo, I want somebody else were using
my TWI tweezers Like it's gross.I know it's not even like it's made
out of metal. He just wipeit off or whatever. But I wouldn't.

(09:11):
Would you want somebody using your tweezers? Steter, Well, my wife,
I don't care. But me,no, exactly what was I say?
It depends on the person. Whatabout Jeffrey? It depends on the
person. Oh, I don't haverogue eyelashes so or eyebrow hair, so
I don't need I don't really needyour hair on your face grows up to

(09:31):
your eyes. His beard starts athis eyes. What do you mean you
have rogue hair? No, I'msaying I don't have the eyelash issue that
you're currently describing. I've seen youreye. He has crazy eyebrow hair.
Sometimes they just cut it. Imean the hair person just cut his eyebrows

(09:52):
because they're going wild. Yes,he doesn't currently have them. Okay,
as of a couple of days ago. Good job. All right, let
me read you some email mark rights. We're over. I'm a traffic signal
designer. I've been designing signals forthirty five years. I was listening to
the show this morning, heard thediscussion on emergency vehicle preemption. I loved

(10:15):
Eater, but he's wrong about usingflashing headlights to trigger a light to change
screen when a traffic signal is operatedwith the preempt. There are several different
types of preemption products that could beused, including siren strobe siren sound so
that other guy was right, orGPS positioning. Strobe device would only work

(10:37):
for traffic signal set up for strobedetection, and it would be done to
dry because the traffic signal system willsend an alert to a system monitor every
time that the preemption is triggered.There are a lot of cameras out there
watching the streets. It's only amatter of time until the cops figure out
who is using pre emption illegally.He might just be saying this, Yeah,
he probably has this, want everyoneto get it. I wonder if

(11:01):
I had something, I wouldn't wanteverybody to have it. Yeah right,
Yeah, you're getting choked up andThe white light on top of the signal
is a preemption confirmation light to letthe emergency vehicle driver know that their emergency
vehicle has been detected, so theythe signal will stay green until they pass
through. I told you I alwayssee that. Kelly writes, you're over.

(11:28):
Please let Charlie know that flannels areon sale again for six dollars and
the Hawktua Girl is now a sponsor. So this is definitely legit by like
ten of these there, it isby like one hundred of these shirts.
Charlie, this is what this iswhat the clear the warehouse out yeap Dixon
forty eight hour clear warehouse. Oh, this is the skim all under six

(11:50):
dollars. Yeah, but if youclick that link, it's the fake website.
That's but the Hawk to a girl'sadvertising park and lead you astray and
it goes to I don't know whatwhat who knows what website actually goes to.
It goes to d X Flannel SummerSale, dot com not real dot

(12:13):
shop or dot shop. Yeah,yeah, because that sounds legit when' you
scored to Dixon dot com exactly,Like you don't have a fifty different domain
like if you want to buy Nike, you go to Nike dot com.
You don't go to Nike weird warehousesale dot net, right unless it's a
big sale. Well cle summer sale. The girl's getting a reality show now,

(12:41):
yeah, that's whenever you're next venture. Well, Charlie, Charlie fell
for this hook line and sinker,you have any updates on that? You
ever get anything? I did getthe tracking number that I'm afraid to click
if you're gonna get them again withthe fake track, and I did.

(13:01):
I called the credit card company finally. Yeah, I got a new card,
and I'm gonna I've changed my number, my credit card number, and
they gave me my money back,which is pretty cool. I was surprised
by that part. Uh yeah,let's all setting out. I have a
new stupid card. I'm surprised howall these payments are failing, tons of
payments. I go to log intosomething because you haven't paid, okay,

(13:24):
because you got a new credit card. Yeah, I don't remember everything I
have, So it's been fun.Well you live and learn, Yeah,
you know, well, just Imean, it's never happened to me before.
I've never fallen for something so stupid, you know, now they have
I think by a couple of mycredit cards. They have a thing where
it just seems like a pain ofthe ass. Though. If you want
to buy something online, it willgenerate like a one time use card number

(13:48):
that you can put in and itstill comes out of your account, but
you can just generate this number,put it in and it will go through
just fine. But that sounds greatone time use, and if they tried
to do it again, it's notgoing to work. Even if so,
if you're hacked or whatever, itjust seems like a pain in the gas,

(14:09):
though, Charlie. Every time yougo and do that, you have
to because I have I have mycredit cards and my password manager, so
when I need to fill something outonline, you hit one button that fills
it out and you're good to go. I don't want to have to go
to the credit card website log in. Then it's going to of course make
me do a two factor authentication.Then I have to app and I have

(14:33):
to find the six digit code.But you got to enter it in real
fast before it changes. You getthat here at work, you need to
change your password. You have sixdays to change. I swear I don't
log into my work email. Imean hardly ever, I just logged in
last night. He goes, youneed to change your password. Your pass

(14:56):
You can't proceed before you change yourpassword. It just has me to change
it. It's just their pain,and they asked to do it. You
click on the link and then itsays, oh, this link doesn't work.
I didn't experience that. Yeah,and then you think, go,
I'd actually go to the website myselfand hit change the password. When it
says click on this link, areyou sure you're actually going or are they

(15:16):
trying to send you to a phishingskill? No? No, That's why
I knew was for Mike, becausethey always tried to do that. I
know. I'm careful with that.This was iHeart. For some reason,
the whoever is in charge of cybersecurityat iHeart goes, you know, what's
a good, good idea, justto annoy our ten thousand employees every month,
let's send them some email where wejust try to get them to click

(15:39):
on something. Oh, hey,you got three free months of Disney Plus
click here or whatever. I don'tknow. Yeah, it's always changing.
And then afterwards then they love tosay, oh did you fall for this?
Like four hundred other idiots did,and no one's going to learn their
lesson from that. I don't knowpretty much any email I get from the

(16:04):
company. I just delete Elite.But they tried to make it look like
they're scam ones that it's not fromiheard Neliel says is Snitz are aware of
the rumor of a sniper in Charlotte, North Carolina right now. That's where
his family is. My wife andI headed their Friday for a short weekend
trip. Snitz, are you upon the news about a sniper and Charlotte.

(16:29):
No, they're in a different cityright now. But no, I
didn't hear about that. I didsee that. I believe it's not a
sniper. It's two teenagers were arrestedfor randomly I mean, I don't know
sniper you think of like the WashingtonDC snipers. This was just two douche
teenagers who decided we're going to justrandomly shoot people as they drive by or

(16:52):
bicycle by or walk by. SoI guess you could count that as a
But they got him, They gothim. I think they shot five people.
One guy driving his cart down thehighway just get shot killed. Was
he killed? Yeah, died Jesus, and this whole trip is crazy.
I mean they started off with theknife machete guy in the airport, now
the sniper dude, one step aheadof disaster. It's like Final Destination?

(17:18):
Is that the movie? Yeah,don't ride behind that truck with the logs,
with the pipes or whatever. Yeah, I hate those trucks. Jennifer
writes, When I was in firstgrade in Charlie's hometown, we were talking
about leaving kids in the car theother day, so she has an email
about that. When I was infirst grade in Charlie's hometown, my mother
left me in her work van andwent inside a carpet store to get some

(17:44):
samples. She took my brother inwith her, and that pissed me off.
I got in the driver's seat andpretended to drive. I put the
van and gear and drove over theparking block, through a pillar, and
straight through the window of the carpetshop. Everyone was pinned in the shop
until the fire department got there.It was the eighties, a wild time
to be alive. Your mom probablyknows that story, Charlie. But when

(18:10):
something like that happens in a smalltown, people remember that thirty years Oh,
that's why that kid drove for thewindow in nineteen eighty one. Bad
parent. I'm at that age nowwhere I used to make fun of my
aunt she was an older lady,because she's always like when she drive around,

(18:34):
she goes, oh, I thoughtthe what's what's McCall's store was right
here? You know, because youforget or you're so old that you remember,
you remember something that was there fourteenyears ago. I've done it so
many times now. It's like,oh, wait, wasn't that storages here?
And it's like closed ten years ago? Like Camart I thought Kamar was
there, Camra closed twenty years ago, something like that. All the time,

(18:56):
I'm always amazed. Like we werejust driving B two and I had
to go to the UPS store tohelp her drop off a package and there's
a bigger box return or something andanyway, so as we're driving I drive
by, I go, oh mygod, there's an Arby's right here.

(19:17):
This is great. I didn't knowI had an Arby's right down the street.
That's new. I'm so happy theybuilt that. She goes, they
built that three years ago. IdiotArby's from there. Before I go oh
okay, Amy, writes Rover.I know Dieter doesn't use logic and only

(19:38):
believes what suits his stupid viewpoint.But really advocating that someone take somebody else's
house because they think they're illegal,what the f what is it? Shoot
first, check their status, andtake their house later. His sensibility is
why there is so much concern abouta civil war. I can't believe even

(20:00):
he can't figure out how dangerous astatement that was. It would be interesting
hearing tomorrow how much blowback you getfrom that comment, Peter, You know,
none so far. I seem tothink it's a great idea you're saying
that. You said it was ridiculousthat people were saying that Trump is part
of Project twenty twenty five or whateverthe hell is, is going to go

(20:23):
door to door searching for illegal aliensand sending them back to wherever, deporting
them. You'll putting them to campsin the porting them. Yeah, and
you said that's not true, that'sridiculous. You said, the reason it's
not true is because we don't havethe manpower to do that. We don't
have enough federal agency do that.So you see the real story is that

(20:45):
they're going to rely on the public, on the public to do this US
citizens. Yeah, and that ifyou suspect an illegal immigrant is living in
your neighborhood, you turn them in, you do, you have to drag
them out of the house yourself andterrested citizens arrest round them up, and
then wants you, uh, thenonce they're deported, do you get to

(21:07):
keep the house that they were living? Automatically you get their house. It'd
be like that video that Charlie playeda few weeks ago about the weird old
cops. They were in this smallbar and somebody had an accent. They're
like, you're not you must bea terrorist, and they tried to arrest
the guy if they're drunk and offduty. Of course, I watched that

(21:30):
whole video, Charlie. The thingwas like an hour long. Oh yeah,
God, what idiots. Well they'llthey'll probably be promoted next week or
whatever, but so stupid. Ialso read in the news this morning some
of these content. You know,with these a lot of the lobby illegal
migrants that are here that we tryto port to them their home countries won't
take them back. It's going topresent a national security issue. It's where

(21:52):
do they go then your guests isas good as mine. Well, how
would they how would their home countrynot take them back? I mean,
that's just that's just the headline.I ran read the whole story and say,
Okay, put them somewhere else,like I don't know there. Once
you get them out of the airport, once you get in the air they're
going to land somewhere in Venezuela orwherever. It's their problem. It's their

(22:15):
problem they can't get through. Youknow, you have to live in the
airport like that Tom Hanks movie Terminal. Thank you, Gordon writes, I
listened regularly to the show. Somethings I agree with, some things I
don't. I always thought you buckedthe mainstream media and gave opinions that were
not so vanilla. I've heard yousay you would rather not discuss or talk

(22:37):
politics all the time. With that, I do wonder why you voice your
thought on Biden's age and not hisopponent the name you don't want spoken.
We have two old white men.Again, this is the choice we have
right now. I look at thepolicies and record of both guys, and
I come back to one choice.To be comfortable with this guy like by.

(23:00):
I guess the reason I don't bringup Trump's age is because he's not
I mean, he's able to walkand speak. That's why I don't bring
up the age. If he werea vegetable like Biden, I would.
I would bring it up every day, every hour on the hour. Trump's

(23:22):
vegetable, I would bring it upall the time. Of course you would.
But you know, they had abig press conference yesterday. For some
reason, they were calling it hisbig boy press conference, like big boy
pants, pull up pants. That'sthe worst name to give Biden. Uh
did you hear? Did you watchany of it? I just watched.
I saw a clip. I didn'twatch it. I started the I go

(23:45):
I saw that it was coming upat six thirty or whatever time, and
I go, okay, I'll watchit. It started whatever time it was,
it was late, and then Igo, African, I'm not going
to wait around waiting for this.It was gold Well. Earlier in the
day before the press conference, hehad given a speech with the president of
Ukraine. There what's his name is, Vladimir Vladimir Zelenski, but he called

(24:14):
him Vladimir Putin up here's President Putin. His mortal enemy. The one day
you don't want to be called crane. And now I want to hand it
over to the President of Ukraine,who has as much courage as he has
determination. Ladies and gentlemen, PresidentPutin, President, you've got to beat

(24:37):
President Putin. I'm so focused onbeating Putin. We gotta worry about it
anyway. It's president. You arethanks to us. That's okay. So
you know, everyone, Misspeaks,We've all done it. I do it
every day, is a matter offact. That was the worst. And

(25:00):
then he has his big boy pressconference. You know this is the Okay,
sure I did bad in the debab, but here I'm going to prove
that I'm not an invalid. Andthis is his Do you have this clip,
Charlie? Oh no, you don'thave no a clip, haven't I
even't. I didn't watch this bigboy press conference, which again, why
would they call it that? Rightoff the bat in his big boy press

(25:22):
conference, he's talking about his vicepresident and you can't. Oh okay,
I'll give Charlie a minute to getto that. Shala, writes Rover in
twenty twenty one, my son wason the show in his I don't poop
my pants every day punk onesie.Oh look at this. There he is
back in twenty twenty one. He'sgot a little mohawk. Let's see.

(25:48):
He obviously has outgrown the onesie.Since there hasn't been any kids merch,
grandma had to get creative. Hereis an updated photo of him with his
son's out, Guns Out T shirtof the Month that she made for him.
Wow, look at this school.So he's got like a it's like
a little vest sort of thing,like a flannel vest Yep. Yeah,

(26:11):
he's taken an inspiration from Charlie withthe flannel, an inspiration from Jeffrey by
ripping the sleeves off, and aninspiration from you because your photo was on
the back of this. They've lookslike they cut out the T shirt of
the month a logo Jeffrey and Deeare standing back to back with suns out,
guns out, and then sewed itonto his vest. And he's taken

(26:33):
after me being creative, and he'staken after me. He's got a beer
bong hanging up on the right handside. Is that what it is?
I thought it was like a funnelthat you can urinate in, you know,
like they don't want the kids gointo the bathroom in preschool all the
time. So kid, you gotto hit the funnel. You can't go
to the bathroom. The board iscool. It's like how to buckle things
and lock things, and it's likea fidget board for like to learn things

(26:56):
about. All right, here's aBiden's big Boy press conference history where he's
talking about his vice president Kamala Harris. I wouldn't have picked Vice President Trump
to be vice president. I thinkshe was not qualified to be President's start
there, Okay, let's start there. Vice President Trump. Oh man,

(27:19):
I feel bad for him, Ireally do. Actually, all right,
I've got to take a break.We will be right back on this morning
Glory. Hang on, they say, masturbating on the count of to FOJ.
We're back to rovers Morning Glory.Jeffrey said that he is no hair

(27:57):
that's going crazy nights. You aboutthis eyebrow hair that was going all crazy.
I was able to find I wentover to Dougie where Dougie sits.
She's not here today, she'll beback next week. But I was able
to find all the supplies I needover there, dude, are a little
miniature tiny scissors a mirror. Imean, she doesn't take that with her

(28:18):
apparently grooming right there at the atthe desk. But Jeffery says he doesn't
have You don't have any of thoseproblems. Your hair is completely under control,
right. Yeah. I took ashower this morning and it's a little
jelly in my hair when I callmed it and everything. Yeah, and
I never had a really revolt rayrogue eyebrow hair, eyelash. She's like

(28:44):
you you were just don't have anyrogue hair. So the only thing is
with my beard is that. Yeah, it just it just comes up all
my eyes. Okay, because Iwas just talking with somebody about it,
and they recommended they go somebody thatsits in close proximity to you all the
time. They said that Jeffrey's nosehairs are out of control, just just

(29:04):
all yeah, coming down to hisnipples. They call him spider legs.
Yeah, they're coming out. Theyreally are nothing. Jeffrey, just you
have do you ever trim your nosehair? I'm not sticking anything up my
nostrils, thank you very much.What is that? Why would you not
stick anything up your nostrils? Imean, I just I never had a.

(29:26):
I never thought I had a problemwith my nose hair. You don't
even need to stick anything up.It's right here. I mean it's coming
down. No, it's not thatit's coming out that far. Yeah,
it's coming out. Oh my ken, you're kidding me. No, no,
all right, Uh, it wouldn'tbe part of his mustache. I
mean this is okay, hold ontaking a picture there all right, sticking

(29:52):
out I guess like half an inchhis nose hair. You gotta you don't
need to. You know, theyhave trimmers, Jeffrey, that you can
put in there, like I haveelectric trimmors. It has a little it
looks like a little cone and youstick that cone up your nose and it
spins around, but it's like sheathand plastics so it doesn't cut you.
And you stick that right up there. You could stick it in your ear

(30:15):
hole. You could stick it whereveryou want. And Kat you use the
clippers that uses on his armpits andjust put that up his nose. But
if there's that much, Charlie's reallytrying to get it, it's hard to
it's hard to get a you know, a hare. It's hard to take

(30:37):
a picture of it. All right, send that over to or just put
it out. I'll see it.Oh yeah, he needs to trim.
Why didn't the lady who cut hishair should have said, hey, you
need to trim, let's trim upthese nose hairs. That's our jobs.
Should have been part of the service. There, that's job. Trimmed his
eyebrow, that's different. That's you. You don't go to a barber and

(31:00):
they they'll trim your eyebrows for you, but they don't do your nose hair,
do they. All right, giveme a second hair. There's a
here we go and me, uh, there we go? Cool, All
right, let's look at Jeffries.Oh yeah, that's coming out that one

(31:23):
there. I see the one behindit too. If you see the one,
you can see one sticking down fromhis nose, and that one's probably
really long, and you're confusing thelittle hairs that he forgets to shave of
his mustache too. Yeah yeah,that's no, that's just part of his
mustache. But there's a lot ofhair coming out. You've never so,
you've never trimmed your nose hair everin your life. I never thought about

(31:45):
being a problem until you guys.Take a uh, these eyes got it
looked up close? Isn't itch?It doesn't like make your nose itch.
No, it makes my nose itches. Think about it. You know.
I I trim my nose hair,but every time I do it, I
go, I wonder if I'm doingsomething that. You know, the human
body has these nose hairs for somereason, a filter or something or whatever.

(32:07):
I don't know. Yeah, theycatch stuff that you breathe in.
Yeah, am I doing something wrongby trimming my nose hair up? You
know some cave mine didn't trim theirnose hair. I think the trimming is
okay. But you know some peoplelike they put wax off their nose and
rip every single hair out of theirnose. Really Yeah, Oh, I
didn't know anyone does that. That'sno good. I've heard of that.
They put like wax up there andthey take a popsile stick stick it up
there and then just rip it out. Every hair is gone. Oh that's

(32:31):
that. That can't be good becausethere's no blockage. Yeah, you're supposed
to keep the ones up there atthe top, I think, but the
ones that are dangling down you cangive were those. I don't think they
really have a function. Uh.We were I'm running a little behind,
I guess, so I didn't getto all of the email. I mean,
I never get to all of theemail. But let me just read
you a couple more emails. Ronsays, good morning, guys. I

(32:51):
have a question for a Crystal.How long have you been doing this with
your sugar daddy and where? Andwere you doing this while you were married?
Would you continue doing this with thesugar daddy when you get a boyfriend?
So Crystal is sending if you listento yesterday's show, if you're an
RMG plus subscriber, you can getthe archives. She is doing all sorts

(33:17):
of stuff with this. She's sendingpictures of her peeing and all sorts of
crazy stuff with this. Sugar Daddywas dropping four hundred dollars in a twenty
four hour period, recently touching herselfvideo. Oh yeah, yeah, So
how did you meet this guy?And were you doing this when you were

(33:39):
married? Well, I mean technicallyyes, I just got divorced, so
yeah, but I was separated,living at my own house, so single,
and he reached out to me andit started off just little by little,
you know, very innocent at firstof conversation but and how did it

(34:00):
come up with money? Like?Did he just say, hey, I'll
send you some money if you doX, Y or Z. Yeah,
probably, I don't remember. Ithas been a year at least of us.
Now, if you got a boyfriend, this guy wants to know,
would you continue with the sugar daddy? I thought about this and I wouldn't.

(34:22):
I don't think it would be appropriate. Me sending nudes to another man
shared the way. All right,if I have a boyfriend, should I
send nudes for videos? Would myboyfriend be mad at that? The weight
was do I want a boyfriend ordo I just keep a sugar daddy?

(34:42):
That was the way. It wasn'tthe weight of inappropriate versus appropriate, and
was more of that of I'd haveto let go of seven grand? This
is money coming and yeah, thiscash coming in? Sure? All right,
but you wouldn't date the sugar daddy? She can't say that. She
refuses to say that with a pause. What if you doubled or triple the

(35:07):
What if you instead of making eightgrand a year off of them, mean
triple it, you're making twenty fourgrand a year off of them? Would
you date them in real life?Then? I r l maybe some dates.
Maybe some dates okay, but putout. Maybe some some dates gone.

(35:29):
Here's an email, you guys aredisgusting. This is from Oh my
god, this is the longest emailI don't know, Saturday Girl. That
starts off your discussion. Generally,it's gotta be right listening to your rerun
of the show today. I've beena listener for a long time, long
enough to know that all you guysdo is beat up on Dougie for everything

(35:50):
she does. She's not a goodmother. She's too much into her daughter's
life. She doesn't have a lifeof her own. The dance team is
her life. The donut truck stupid, she doesn't date anybody. Blah blah
blah. All you do is blastDougie every day. Even her looks are
a problem for you guys. Now, let's talk about Crystal. She takes

(36:15):
money from strangers for sex. She'stotally a full blown swinger. She's not
the best looking chick I've ever seen. She has a sixteen year old daughter
that she could care less about.Her daughter knows the stuff she does for
money. She's the worst mother I'veever seen. She's no beauty, But
guys fall all over her because shehas big boobs. You're a bunch of

(36:37):
meatheads. Yet her making money bytaking a dump on a coffee table is
okay with you, guys. She'smilking some dumbass for money by doing sex
things for him and many others,and she's nothing but a gold digger.
I never hear you, guys saya bad word about Crystal. Leave Dougie
alone. You sound like a bunchof a holes. I know you're going

(37:00):
to say it's not true, butlistening from out here, you sell like
a bunch of idiots. You're alwayson Dougie's ass about everything. Ye Crystal
can crap on a coffee table andfilm it for somebody for money, and
you're okay with that. I'm disgustedwith you, guys. Leave Dougie alone.
Is this the guy or a girl? It's from Dogie. She's on

(37:24):
vacation right writing it has to beright? Do you alone, Crystal?
Well? I will say now,I don't know. Maybe maybe Crystal she
could be just as nasty at workand I just am unaware of it.
Dougie can be very nasty to people. You know, you don't see that

(37:47):
side. She can be very nice, but she can also be very nasty.
She's a difficult person to work with. I have to be honest.
I get along fine with her mostof the time, but I do give
what do you think she doesn't giveus crap? Please? Darryl says,

(38:08):
we're over. To the people thatclaim to have long COVID, go see
a therapist. And to the guythat called in about his wife having long
COVID, what did she have beforehand? The only people that have lasting effects
are people with pre existing conditions.Then he says, oh, she was
diagnosed by a doctor with long COVID. That means squat. These days,
these are the same doctors that toldyou that not so vaccine would stop it.

(38:30):
The same doctors that have to leaveyour room go to the nurses station
to google your symptoms. I workfor the biggest hospital system in the area,
and I see it every day,doctors right out of their residency using
Google or calling another doctor for advice. The medical system in this country is
nothing but a cash machine for investorsand board members. Is this kind of

(38:51):
doctor or is he just like ajanitor at that? I think he's just
a janitor. O. You knowhe's observant now, I Actually, he's
right. I've had this happen tome before. Oh, googling. I
believe it has happened to me twice. Where I'll say something, I know
it's happened to me at least twiceas a matter of fact, where the
doctor will google, I'll go,yeah, so whatever's going on this that

(39:15):
mmmm mmmm? And I swear inmy life. He pulls up Google and
starts googling it. I'm like,I could have done that. That's what
you're told not to do. Don'tdon't google your health stuff. You're gonna
get bad advice from the internet.That's what my doctor is doing. I
assume they're going through like a medicaljury website. No, especially they're logging
into a special doctor website. No, I've seen it with my own eyeballs.

(39:37):
I saw the Google logo multi colored, the green, the yellow,
the red, the blue. Isaw it the other time. Was I,
uh, this wasn't as critical,but theater. You told me to
get my testosterone tested, and you'resupposed to test that. Apparently, I
think you told me, or maybeI looked at something I don't know,

(40:00):
first thing in the morning. Forsome reason, it's highest in the morning
and so I said, I said, hey, when you do my I
think it was my annual physical.I said, give me my can you
test my testosterone? And this wasafter the show. Of course I went
to the doctor, so it's probablyabout noon or whatever, and I go,

(40:20):
I go, but he goes,oh, you're I think you're supposed
to do that in the morning,but I'm not sure. And I'm like,
okay, and he's like, so, I don't know if you can
go downstairs and do it right now. Will we google that? And he
googled it. I mean, Idon't know you could do it during the
day or whatever. It's like ithad to be the first thing in the
morning. But they say it's one'sthe highest. Why is that because your

(40:45):
body is recovering while you sleep orsomething? Or I think, yeah,
I think that's it. Your ballsare making more testosterone as you sleep.
Yeah. Yeah. Uh. Andhere is somebody who writes, Charlie says,
you know we're over. We nevergot to see a picture of j
Lar's chair unless I missed it.The wife and I need to see this

(41:07):
chair. The chair took a picture. I was never shown that. Did
she ever send it to you?Jeffrey has a chair here that he sits
ut sits on in the main studioand it's I mean, it's it's it's
a little bit dirty. You'd haveto take a picture of this with your
phone. It does not come throughon the camera. It's just our cameras

(41:29):
are not. You got to takea cell phone picture of that. And
let's not forget Dougie would light allthat chair almost every morning before I come
in, and she really just getsin there and just I mean just like
over almost it's almost you think sheused the whole spray bottle of light saw
on that chair and she does thisin front of you. She goes before

(41:52):
I come in, because I cansmell when I walk in during the time
that Rover's in Florida and I'm instudio and I'm sitting in that particular chair.
Yeah, is it wet when yousit down. Yeah, it's a
little bit. It's a little bitwett. I mean, I think that
her life sool is actually attracting.It's like a dirt magnet. She's causing
the problem, not solving. Idon't I don't know, but you know

(42:14):
how we all we all know theRover, you know, and dug a
lot longer than me. You know, she's a germophobe like you are,
Kyle says. This past weekend,my family and I drove from Columbus,
Ohio, to Wilmington, Delaware fora Fourth of July party that my wife's
boss throws every year. Just beforewe crossed the Maryland Delaware border, we

(42:35):
were crossing a bridge and my wifewondered aloud, what body of water is
this? I looked at the mapand immediately said, the Sussaha Kuana River,
the exact pronunciation as Jeffrey from afew years ago. Susquehanna River is
the correct pronunciation. I was justtrying to figure out the correct pronunciation during
the time when I first said itsriver, Sasaha Kuana. Are you getting

(43:01):
me? I'm stuttering it in thatnow. Now you're causing me to stuttering.
Now, Risquehanna River. The Sashaso such a hot Quanta river.
I realized Quehana River. I realizedriver. I realized right away what happened
and started laughing hysterically, while mywife looked at me like I was an

(43:23):
idiot. It's just another word thathas been ruined forever by Jeffrey l on
Laroque and speaking of Jeffrey Craig wantsto know Summer Slam is going to be
in town next month. WWE SummerSlam. Have you started bothering people for
free tickets yet? He wants toknow. No, why not? I

(43:45):
don't know if the station has beengiven any You don't want to go to
Summer Slam. Oh, I'd loveto go to Summer Slam if I snag
tickets. But if not, well, I've never like I said, I've
never been to like one of thereally big the biggest pay per view event
I've been to was the Fast Lanein twenty sixteen. Well, and the
radio station was able to give mea hookup on the tickets to that one.
You break it a hookup from theradio station. I do have an

(44:07):
email that I got. This issomebody from the Cleveland Food Bank or something,
and it says, WWE SummerSlam isin town at Brown's Stadium on August.
I set all of the internet forthe last few months. Yeah,
that's what we're talking about. Iknow that. I mean, I know
SummerSlam is going to take place inthe Brown team. I know one of
the I know that to me it'sgonna be a big one. As part

(44:30):
of this event, WWE will behosting a service experience that offers fans a
unique opportunity to work alongside WWE Superstarsfrom nine thirty am to twelve thirty pm
the morning of the event. It'sa huge meal pack with roughly one hundred
thousand meal donations to the Food Bank. The WWE Superstars will be president the

(44:51):
volunteer shift, and you, asa volunteer, will be invited to join
an exclusive VIP opportunity with the WWESuperstars Following the food pack, We're recruiting
twenty five volunteers to lead the packinggroups, restocking materials, helping with boxing
up, so on and so forth. Would you like to volunteer packing food

(45:17):
if I'm I'm busy for free tickets? Is that the exchange you get to
meet the all the w he says, If I'm not busy, this would
be one way those times. SoI always keepers always keep thinking, is
there's some kind of scam going aroundhere? The pictures? Do you have

(45:37):
the pictures back there? Stint Theythere's a website in here that they have
all the pictures and stuff deleted.That of the former. That's why I
sent it to you. They havethe pictures of the former, the event
from the last year or whatever.I love it. You gets so many
handouts and what's his turn to help? And an extreme free tickets and right

(45:58):
he can help giving others handouts?Yes, after all the handouts that he's
got, he's getting a handout bygiving out handouts, yes, and then
but that's too much. I don'tknow works. It would be one way
to solve the homeless problem though,if you think about it. Jeffrey packing
meals for the homeless, they getthose, they eat those. Think of
those little Jeffrey fingers, packing upall the food. They get a bacterial

(46:22):
infection, they drop dead. Nomore homeless people. It's cruel, but
it would solve the homeless problem.Yeah, it does sound kind of cruel
though. And lastly, I gotto take a break, but I sent
the picture George the chair snitch.You got him? Yeah, okay,
let me take a look when weafter a break, because I got to

(46:42):
take a break. This is fromBarney Barney Rubble, who says the Jeffrey
you guys have working for you isthe fake Jeffrey Laroque. I found the
real Jeffrey family, and here heis in Pennsylvania. Let's look. Let
me see said in front of UScar or something a garage? Oh is

(47:04):
that not? Was that not senseto you? Stints? Son of a
bitch? There, I just sentit to you. Hmm. This guy
says that he has the real Jeffreyand we have the fake impostor Jeffrey.
Let me look. Oh wow,that is Jeffrey in front of a NASCAR

(47:28):
car or something. Yeah, wehave Jeffrey going out there, going out
for a date right there, right, Yeah? What do you think about
that? That's not me? Whatabout Charlie, there's a video that I
sent you. I don't think Idon't see it in the system. Maybe

(47:50):
during the break he can put itin. Uh, let me take a
quick break. You said you havethat picture of the chair. We'll take
a look at that pictures. Wehave a comedian, Brad Williams is going
to be in studio with the fa short while up. Unintended. Oh
I thought you wanted that for theleftovers. Yell me, I'll put that
over. Let me take a quickbreak and we will be right back.
Hang on, if you find yourselflooking at inanimate objects and wondering if you

(48:14):
could use them to silence the coworker. We're right there with you, buddy.
Yeah, vers morning, Glory Lousent a text message and says,
whenever I see Brad Williams, Ialways think of him yelling at Dougie about

(48:35):
buying new forever stamps because the priceof stamps went up. She threw out
the old ones because she's such anidiot. I don't recall that, but
I'll take your word for it,Lou. Either sounds like something she would
do. Though. Yes, allright, you said that you had a
photo of you said that the snitzer. Okay, you said you have a

(48:59):
phone of Jeffrey's chair. Now,Jeffrey, have you noticed anything but in
your chair at worker? Yeah?I know? Is how the that lights
all dries in the cloth and kindof bomb kind of discombodulated the look of
it. That's what you think itis. Okay, So every morning you
come in, Jeffrey, dogee spraysthe chair It's already spreading for I even

(49:20):
sit down. And why because youknow how Dougie is such a germophobe.
Okay, And so you believe thatwhat we're about ready to see is Actually
the chair is too clean, Peter, too too clean? Yep, all
right, let's let's take a lookat this. Can you zoom in on
that right there in the crack there, well, let's say as crack there's

(49:42):
a bunch of stains, so whoknows what he's doing there? And then
in the crack of the chair there'sI mean, it is so filthy in
there. I don't know what isgoing on. Can you zoom in even
further? Yeah, I don't knowwhat is that? It's just dirt,
filthy, just probably from the area. It's really it's really your ass black

(50:04):
spots come off? Did you seethe back of it? I wearing black
shirts lately too, so sometimes youknow, you think that's what it is.
You ever do that with like blacksocks, and then you get like
that's the worst You get that blackcrud in between your toes. Sometimes some
black Nike socks, black socks,you don't get that generally, but other
black socks. Is Oh, whatabout the back of the chair here?

(50:27):
Why is that so filthy? Ihave no clue. Look at this.
How does that back of a chairget that dirty? No? My question,
what's what about the ass? Crackspot? Jeffrey, is that ass
sweat or is that a shark?What is that? Could be sweat?
Well, but sweat is he liketo call it? It's right there,
that's you can't mistake that. It'sthree spots right where the be hole is.

(50:50):
Jeffery. Somebody said, since you'regreat at pronunciations, he sent this
picture and he says it's a mapand he wants to see. He puts
some arrows up here. He wantsto know if you could pronounce these names
through funny. You look like penises. Ze arrows her arrow like a penis.

(51:14):
He's like, I think trying tomake a big a gage out on
me. Forget's how always that's alwaysthe assumption read the name. I can't
just see them even that far fromthis distance. The wanted to come in
here real quick. Look, yeah, come on in here. Let's go
ahead. You can come in hereand read these real quick. Brad Williams

(51:36):
he's at the Acron Or he's inaccronat the Goodyear Theater. He's there tonight,
two shows tonight, two shows tomorrownight. He's going to be in
the studio with us in just afew minutes. Yeah, you don't need
headphones. You're just gonna be inhere for a second. So look right
there at the get in front ofthe mic. You don't have a microphone,

(51:58):
I mean ten years and rate.He's got these glasses off, so
I can't see. Okay, allright, what is that? What's your
classes on? No? I can't, I can't. I I I may
have to get noline by vocals anyway, because I'm old, not like you
eaters. So it it doesn't wearglasses, So be lucky. You take
them off, and then you getto get really close to the screen.
If you kept the mind, youcould see the screen now. The first

(52:22):
one, tusks is what tusk HorrisCounty? What tusk Aras County? Okay,
Rickville, which is a city?And the other one I cannot try
that one glasses off? Ned andHuttonden hutting he is silent. That's the

(52:43):
way I always pronounced it. You'resure it's not all right? I actually,
honestly, I don't know how topronounce any of those eithers. So
there you go, Jeffrey. Howdid your you don't have headphones on?
I guess, but go ahead,sit down, sit down, sitting Dou's
chair. What is she gonna what'sshe gonna. She's not gonna mind,

(53:06):
right, go do she's not heretoday. Heetphones right next to you.
Don't put those on. I'm notI'm not angry. Dougie. Tell me
you went to the dentist. Yeah, he did, did go, did
go, And they looked at theylooked at him, and they said they
were gonna attempt to do his scaling. The tartar is so built up.
Unfortunately, it's actually holding my bottomteeth in. Oh god. Yeah,

(53:30):
so if they try to do thescaling, they would probably fall out.
Oh no, they're expecting what threeto follow? They need? They're recommending.
I see you, I got areferral to see a period honist,
a period doctor. H I'm tryingto just keep my cool because it's it's

(53:52):
it's a little emotional. It's thattime with the monsterater No so unlike unlike
women. No, it's a calleda periodontist. Mm hmm. So I
gotta and we're gonna try and getmy see what's up with my insurance and
whatnot? So what this guy said, I couldn't do it yesterday because I
was helping my dad just move.Oh he's moving. I didn't know he

(54:12):
was moving. Oh he's moving intoo. He's in the same complex,
just moving to a different apartment witha smaller apartment, maybe downsizing since the
wife passed away. He did bringthat up one time. Yeah, yeah,
So I helped him yesterday and I'mgonna help him today. Good,
all right, So that's you couldhave let us know. I'm sure Charlie
and Dieter would have been willing.No, I'm serious, they would have

(54:34):
been willing to go over the house. Big. It was a lot of
stuff to move. The big stuff'sbeing moved today. And professional movershah they
are. Okay, yeah, yes, professional movers. So my dad's at
his age. I mean, he'seighty six years old. He still gets
around, guests, still drive andeverything. So all right, so you
go to the dentist. Now,this is a little disappointing because he went
to the Your insurance ran out,we found out, so you can't We

(54:55):
sent you to the dentist, right, and but your insurance ran out,
so you can't get the scaling donethat you need to get done. So
another dentist called. He goes,I'll do it for free. So we
send him over there and so hewas willing to do the scaling for you.
Yeah, but he said he Ineeded to see like a specialist.

(55:16):
A periodnis is like a dentald specialist. Yeah, so he didn't. Let's
say, if I'm man, ifI man and and I have to have
an insurance in place. Otherwise periodnnalswon't even look at you because they're a
specialist. That's yeah, all right. So he can't do the scaling because
once he does the scaling, whichis like some sort of intensive thing of
cleaning tartar, plaque whatever off yourteeth. And he told me that his

(55:39):
teeth right here will fall out.Now, the other object could do is
you can do it and it docome out, and you can get me
help me get a partial. Okay, so they'll put like some fake teeth
in that, yeah, like whatmy parents had. All right, So
that's one option. What is theperiodontist going to tell you? Like,
what's what is he gonna You say, he's a specialist, but what are

(55:59):
they gonna Are they gonna try andsave the teeth or they are coming out?
For sure? It could be afifty to fifty either one you could
try to save them, or twothey would have to come out. Are
they specializing gums and the jaw bonetissue that supports the teeth? So,
I don't know. Is there anyways can save the teeth? I probably
not. I'm not a periodontist.Is a partial of that permanent? That's

(56:22):
where That's where we stand right now. I think a partially might snap in
and out or something. I mean, actually, I honestly I don't know.
Would you that would probably be yourbest bet? I don't think there's
gonna I mean, what are yougonna saving him for another another couple of
years when he has to do itagain? This is gonna be your third
scaling? Is that right? Ithink it's only my second. I know

(56:43):
you've done it twice, I believe, and this is gonna be your third?
I think so. No, thefirst time he sent me, the
first time he sent me was wasyus and years ago. That's why I
actually had the original teeth pulled.Remember scaled first. If they did a
scaling first, okay, saw yourealize they had done it scaling first before
they pulled them, you know?If that one? So? I don't?
Can I a serious question? Canyou if they pulled all your teeth?

(57:07):
Would you be okay with that ifthey gave you dentures. Yeah,
I mean I was thinking. Iwas thinking, hopefully they can come up
with a type of danger that wouldfit the pole, just the line of
my jaw insad of that thing thathas the roof of your mouth, so
it makes it look more natural.Oh, I see, like, like
I know what you're talking. Somethinglike that would emmert that would like it
would combine with your existing gum line. Right. Here's the problem though,

(57:30):
And I again I'm not a dentist, I'm not an expert in this,
but if they if they have theissue with the jaw, with the gums,
the bone underneath the gums, ifthat is rotted out, for lack
of a better term, then theycan't like drill in. And I'm necessarily
saying like it's like I'm saying,like, come up with a method,

(57:51):
like you make a denture that justfits the pattern of so you want them
to invent a whole new process foryou to do, Okay, I see
I'm saying, And it makes totry to make your teeth look as natural
as even though it's fake teeth,but make it look as natural as possible.
Sure, I always had that inthe back of my mind because I
seen my my my mom had denturesand she had a h where the it

(58:14):
has has that the gun but alsoas the part of the roof of your
mouth to take that little pie studthrough your mouth out of here you have
root for your mouth and can Ithis is a morbid question. But your
mother passed away a while ago,right, uh? Huh? What happens
to the dentiers? Did they theystay in and bury her with us?
Or does like I think she wasprobably buried with them, because sometimes like

(58:36):
I don't know, is this morbid? But what if you wanted to keep
those as a mento, like ifchicken dad wanted to keep I have stuff
of my I have. I havea few things with my mom that my
dad gave us. My my daughteractually uses my one of my mom's purses.
Yeah, that's nice. So Ihave another thing is uh over the
weekend. I visited my dad onSunday. I have a bunch of pictures,

(58:58):
not just the ones I posted.I have other pictures me, myself
and my brothers. I got oneof my I got another one of them,
all three of us in my greatgrandparents. Yeah, and so yeah,
those are I mean? And thenwe were looking at some more I
saw some more pictures you know thatmy dad wanted to give me. I
also got the card from my mom'smy mom's dad's funeral, but that was

(59:22):
back in nineteen seventy nine. Er. So, Jeffery, you since you're
sitting there in front of the monitorover there, somebody sent me this video.
Now, this is a my box, which is a fancy car,
but this is this is an oldvideo from nineteen ninety seven. It was
a concept car. And if you'rewatching RMGTV you can see this. You

(59:44):
can always watch for free at roverradiodot com or with the Rover Radio app.
And it has some like cool features. I'm just gonna it's like a
promotional video from nineteen ninety seven.Look at all the seat functions that they
have, the seat controls. Thenthey have a look at this. They
have like a TV screen that popsdown from the from the ceiling. N
Yeah, like this was crazy technologyin nineteen ninety seven. At this point,

(01:00:06):
well, I saw a concept car. From here. Here's a guy
sitting in the back. See he'staking some notes there, you know,
he's looking at a screen that's builtinto the headrest. What do you think
is this futuristic technology? Like this? They're just like there's three different car
phones too. I mean yeah,it's like predicting what they think might be
the newest features in cars. Isaw a but concept car back in like

(01:00:30):
nineteen eighty seven, and it looksso futuristic that the whole front end of
the car opens up, which isactually like a canopy like an airplane.
Like airplanes can't be opening forward.Yeah, And I was like, and
then like you have the steering wheel, the face of the steering column had
light was a touch screen. Nowthis guy so here you see the TV

(01:00:52):
screen pop down from the ceiling andhere's this guy taking notes here in the
back. You see this guy justhe's like, hm, we take some
notes here. He's really like abusiness oriented you know you probably are productive.
He's wearing a suit. Yeah,what do you think he's running down
like plain facts Russellmania two attendance record. Yes, I mean that's a cool

(01:01:16):
technology. I mean nineteen ninety seven, right, But then if you look
at the guy's profile, it doesit kind of resembles me this one?
You get? Okay, all right? Gall say that from the profile does
resemble this guy? Send me thisvideo, and he goes, Dude,
I know if this guy's like abig Mercedes fan or something Mercedes on my

(01:01:38):
box. But he's like, checkout this video from nineteen ninety seven that
I came across. He goes thisguy in the back and this is a
long video. This is like aten minute video. He must watch the
whole thing. And he goes,the guy in the back of the car
looks just like Jeffrey. Will youplay this for Jeffrey and see if he
picks up that this guy is hisactual twin. It does look just like

(01:01:59):
you. Now now you have blondehair. You just dyed your hair a
couple of days ago. You're you'retoo cool. Now you're I love your
hair. By the way, itlooks good. I appreciate I threw like
I took a shower. This moneyI threw it look kind of like a
little bit of jealousy. It looksa lot better than it did the other
day. Now you're you were You'relooking good. All right, Let me
take a break. I don't wantto. I didn't realize that Brad Williams

(01:02:20):
was already here. He got hereearly, so let me take a quick
break. We'll get him coming in. He's going to be at the Goodyear
Theater tonight and Saturday, two showseach night. I don't think he's been
on the show. Somebody told mesince twenty nineteen. I don't know if
that's possibly a five years Okay,the last time he was here, the
station gave my wife and I ticketsto seat the scene at the Funny Stoff.

(01:02:42):
You did five years. I can'tbelieve it. All right, let
me take a quick break. We'llbe right back with Brad Williams. Hang
on to the favorite show of lightning, fast screen minimizers and time clock Milkers
Worldwide. Wait did somebody say Milkersscroversy? Later on? You can go
back to porn Hub. All right, he hasn't been on since twenty nineteen.

(01:03:10):
If you can believe that, Iguess because well, because COVID and
then the guy started. You know, there wasn't touring as much that I
was in Miami, and you know, all of I can't believe it's been
five years. You know, youhaven't seen somebody in five years. They
really go, wow, you lookdifferent, you really shot up, you
grew Uh I Williams is here exactlythe same size. Yeah, the only

(01:03:37):
thing that increased was the size ofthe rooms that I'm playing like a Goodyear
theater tonight, not one but twoshows in Akron. There's a plug.
I know we're on in multiple cities. We're just go to Bradwimscomedy dot com.
I'm touring all over the country.Uh. I might see my wife
and kid next year. Uh,you know, it's you know, it's
actually I've heard they're lovely people.Is good to be separated from your wife.

(01:04:02):
You have a I think was ita daughter you have four years old?
Now some people don't think about it. You know, you just go
you see a comedian or somebody,or you see a band and you see
and you have a good time.You're getting drunk with your buddies. But
that persson has been away from theirfamily for a while, and it's you
know, it can't be tough.But on the flip side, does it.
You get a little bit of separationevery week and when you go back,

(01:04:26):
you kind of you. I don'thate you. I miss my wife.
It's good, you know, SoI then I go back and then
and thankfully nowadays you have things likeyou know, FaceTime, and it's so
like, I'm not because like ifyou were in the seventies eighties, when
you were on the road, youwere just gone right and there was no
I remember my dad would be onroad trips for his work and like sometimes

(01:04:49):
he'd call. But then that wasback in the day where it's like,
okay, it's long distance. Youhave thirty seconds to talk to your father.
This has costing so much money.You would just kind of like,
hey, Dad, we're good,okay, goodbye, Like and in your
mom might not have talked to himfor like a week or something. Was
he alive? Is he dead?Who knows? So much easier to have

(01:05:10):
an affair back then, what didyou? Okay? Uh, now you
get caught, you know, notonly can you you're in a different city,
somebody snaps a picture. Oh likethere's Brad Williams or whoever. Yeah,
And then there was that uh,there was that one Julian Edelman.
Uh he didn't even have an affair, but he but he hooked up with
someone and then they took the selfieof like hey, just you know,

(01:05:35):
was with Edelman and just like tooka selfie. He's asleep in the bed.
I remember that, Yeah, andyou and you're just like, oh
my god, like that, likethat kind of stuff can happen. I
say this all the time. ThankGod I'm married, because I'm I'm out
of the game. I'm out ofthe Oh agree with you? You can
you can screenshot a text and outof context and everything like that. I

(01:05:58):
get. I feel bad for guysuh these days who have to be in
the dating scene. Not only iseverything so crazy with how sensitive people are
and you know, various claims,this, that and the other, but
I mean, it's it's it's it'sa dangerous thing to be dating. I
mean honestly, I mean I wouldn'twant to do it these days, because
you're right, there's so much andoh my god, the embarrassing stuff that

(01:06:21):
would come out if you were datingtoday or whatever. Someone wants to put
you on blast. Oh they you'reright. They have screenshots, they have
d pics, they got everything thatyou're doing these days. And oh man,
I'm done. I found I founda lovely five foot eight Chinese woman
who for some odd reason loves me, and we and and and we we

(01:06:45):
pro created, got a great kid. I'm good. Long ago did you
meet her? Met her eight yearsago, been married for six years,
six years? Yeah, and allright, so met her on the app
Field Field. Are you aware ofthat app? No? No, Oh,
this is gonna be fun. Okay, let's go over all right.

(01:07:09):
So Field is an app for it'slike tender, but it's for people that
are trying to have like three threesomes. Oh who is We're all on Field,
honey if you're listening. So yeah, it's like alternative lifestyle whatever people
trying to meet And uh yeah,I was always real people or is it

(01:07:33):
people who are like there's probably somebots or whatever that are just trying to
like, you know, you're onthere. Now, I was a get
it because you're a horny dude,like every other dude. Right, what's
she doing on there? How horny? As as she describes it, she
had just gone through a breakup andwas on a bit of a revenge tour.

(01:07:55):
Oh and hey I support that.Hell yeah, go nuts, you
do you? And then I matchedwith two women on the app and we're
all going a date together and oneof the women didn't show up on the
date. Yeah, I'm guessing becauseshe looked at my profile photo and was
like, oh, his whole bodyfits in the default photo. That works

(01:08:15):
because I'm a dwarf, a littleperson, a person, short stature.
Okay, I shouldn't have to explainit, but I have to do radio.
I don't sound like one. I'mnot on hairline, like, I'm
not doing that. So yeah,she the one woman didn't show up,
so the other woman did and thenuh I talked to her and I was

(01:08:38):
like, crap, you're cool.I like you, so we're good.
Did you screw on the first day? No, no, you did.
I was the plan. The planwas. The plan was just to meet
make sure you don't you know,you're actually who you are from your photo.
You don't have some crazy birthmark that'slike like you don't have that,
like and you know you don't.You don't you don't show up and uh,

(01:09:00):
someone says something like you know theNazis, get a bad rap.
Okay, crap, move on,uh you know, and then just go
back to her place and have fun. And then literally on the first date,
we're like, I like you darnit. So then all right,
so you guys both meet on thisapp, you start dating because we like

(01:09:21):
each other. Sure, do youthe two of you continue to be on
the app. You're getting other you'regetting women. No, you're just that's
it. You're done. Wait,you're you Hold on a second, wait,
we were not. Okay, letme be very clear, because I
because I can see where you're goingwith these questions. We got off the
app. That doesn't mean we don't. You're our tape. Okay, okay,

(01:09:44):
in what the app was there forcha? Okay? Because I've said,
there's two of you that are bothinto that. Why would you stop
once you get with it? Weboth love sushi, we got together,
we stopped eating sushi. Like,no, you continue with that kind of
thing. That's fine. This isthis is uh, you know, it's
more popular. Like if you wereif this were twenty years ago, thirty

(01:10:06):
years ago, you never might beover. You would never say this to
anybody ostracized, You would be madefun of forever. Now you gotta do
all these yeah, yeah, allthe crowds. You got to do an
upside down pineapple in your front yard. Yeah, I know the cause.
But now it's mainstream and really peoplea lot of people. You're married,

(01:10:27):
but a lot of people don't getmarried anymore. They're in apples or God
only knows what I like. Somethe the idea of a throuple sounds amazing.
The idea of it now, ifyou can do it and make it
work, awesome, good for you. But the idea of a thruple like,
ooh, I have two girlfriends.Yeah, I have a wife and

(01:10:49):
a girlfriend. Because you you romanticizein your head like it's oh, just
gonna be two women that are goingto be fighting over it, like it's
my penis, you know, it'spenis. Like that's what you fantasize,
But that's not what it is.Yeah, to me, it's just gonna
be two women that are that arethe headche twice the maintenance. Yes,

(01:11:10):
well, my wife says, shegoes if you if you want to get
enough thruple id loved. If theycook and they clean and they do all
the work ahead, we'll find herand we can get a thrupple. Yeah,
that's my thing. It's like itis. You know, my wife
also likes women. I obviously likewomen, so we're not inviting dudes into
the mix. But I'm kind ofthe same way as your wife, Like

(01:11:31):
if some dude wanted to come inand do all this stuff around the house,
that I have to make some money. If he wants to go on
the road, leave to the billsgoing he can bang you out every night,
Yes, fine by me. AndI feel like you get a little
older. And that's the perspective thatuh, that that you gain a pragmatic
approach to sex and relationship. Yes, because because also the thrupple is,

(01:11:55):
oh, if we got to athrottle and another woman was just sitting at
the house. My wife sits atthe house. She worked very hard.
But if like the other one wantedto just say at the house and it's
another mouth to feed, screw you, No, bring something to the table.
But you know a lot of peoplethat Dougie is not here today,
my other co host, but sheis. She's basically apprude and she would

(01:12:16):
say about people who are in thesereally she doesn't like it. It does
cause problems, So it can forsome people. Jealousy things like that.
Have you experienced anything like that oris your wife ever Have you been like
into maybe extra into a chick andyour wife's like you got that, we
can't see. So yeah, Sothe so here's if you're gonna do something

(01:12:42):
like this, constant communication, constantupdates. How are you checking in like
like making sure. There was literallyone time where an we met an adult
film actor that saw a beautiful Asianwoman saw a dwarf and was like,

(01:13:02):
well I've never done that before,checked that box. Yeah, let's have
some fun there. And she wasliterally driving over to our place and my
wife looked at me and went,you know what, I'm not feeling it
tonight. And I went, okay, called up the called up the actress
and nope, sorry, not tonight. And you think that was because she

(01:13:24):
just was she worried about you gettinginto this chair. Another just wasn't feeling
it for whatever reason, just wasn'tfeeling it. Uh. As as as
a married man, you know somenights just stop feeling it most nights.
Most nights, Yeah, the wife'snot feeling it. I you you could
you could have just told me mymom passed away and then my wife's like,

(01:13:44):
so do you want some you know, sex to make it feel better?
To be like yes, a thousandpercent, Like I'm never going to
turn it down. The the wifecould be like, well you know they're
ah, I oh, the Iwish I need to start writing down the
reasons why sex didn't happen that night, because some of them are just amazing.

(01:14:09):
Some of the there was one whereit was like, I'm I'm stressed
out for what I saw on NextLevel Chef. What My wife watches all
the trashy, you know whatever shows, and she watched a Gordon Ramsey show
and she's like, you know,I just keep thinking about how he yelled
at that one person, and Ijust can't. I'm like, what's happening

(01:14:31):
here? What you could watch likeFaces of Death or some sort of like
crazy execution thing isis video on YouTube? I could still get it off right,
Fine, I'm good. I thinkI think my wife just does a
Rollo dex. She spins it andthen she goes, what excuse am I
gonna use tonight? And don't getme wrong, I don't blame her.

(01:14:55):
She's an attractive woman. I'm afour foot four pigmy, Okay, I
get why she wouldn't want to sleepwith me. Completely understand that. What
have you asked her? I'm guessingshe hadn't been with a dwarf prior to
you. No, she did nothave a collection. No, when have
you asked her? Like, wasthat was it a little you know,

(01:15:15):
did you have any trepidation or wasthere anything to give you said? Is
it is you know, the firsttime or was it anything. So I
met one of my wife's exes onetime. He actually came to a show
that was weird, but he gaveto the show. And then like she
told me, she was like,hey, you know, this guy just

(01:15:35):
messaged me in my exit and hesaid he's going to come to your show
tonight, so just know that he'sgoing to be there. And I go
cool. And that's when we werealready married, so it's like I don't
care. And then I meet theguy afterward and he's like a two hundred
and eighty pound samoan so very smallman. Wow, very small samoan.

(01:15:58):
Yeah. So and I'm just goingwow, Like imedately called to my wife.
She's like, is everything okay?Go, I'm just impressed with your
rain ship. You don't have atype, like you know, you like
if you said to my wife like, like, what's your type, she's
not, like I love the lollipopkilled guys, like it's not that's not
her thing different like that, LikeI know immediately I have a type.

(01:16:21):
Dark haired, dark eyes, likeI just ever since I was a little
kid, from as far back asI can remember, that's been my type.
Women. Now, I don't carewhat he looks like. Yeah,
they really they How much money youhave? That's probably number. Yeah that
definitely helps, does hell? Womenlike Crystal you claim you don't have a

(01:16:43):
type. You just it doesn't matterwhat he looks like, right, Yeah,
as long as I think he's hot. Yeah, that's it. The
one that gets me that you didn'tlike it's like, oh, it's money
whatever. But then you find outthe twenty two year old that Bill Belichick
is dating. Yeah, she apparentlywas with the sixty seven year old before
Belichick, And you're like, wait, yeah, so you've you've got a

(01:17:05):
type. Everyone's like about Bill Belichick, Oh he's a predator. No,
actually, it turns out she's actuallythe President's un an old man. Yeah,
he's going big game hunting. AndI do say I was. I
don't know if we talked about itsince this has come out, but she
had like this ex boyfriend who waslike, what you said, sixty five,
sixty seven whatever, And I didsay, to her credit, to

(01:17:29):
this young woman's credit, the olderguy. First of all, I would
have just kept my mouth shut.If I were that older guy, I
don't know if I would have comeforward, but sure he was like,
oh, she's such a great person. She's wise being her like he had
nothing bad to say about her.Of course he was very complimentary at the
time. She was nineteen years old, sixty five years since I met her

(01:17:51):
in middle school. Yeah, yeah, that guy, just I would have
just kept my mouth shut. Bythe way, that's what you have to
say. You have to say wise, be on her years, so mature
for her age. You can't comeout and just be like, yeah,
I'm a creepy old guy. Theold guys. He's young as heck.
And then you know, we wouldwatch Bluey together, Like. You can't

(01:18:14):
come out and be that dude?Yeah, would you? When you saw
Bill Belichick? Dang you got didit? Like? What? Did it
freak you out? Or were youlike whatever? It doesn't you know,
Hey, I'm all for you know, if it makes you happy and it
doesn't affect me, great, Yeah, go nuts. Like I met my
wife, she would have been uhcheese. I think I would have been

(01:18:38):
I'm bad with math. I guessI met her. I think she was
twenty four when I met her.She's thirty. She's turning thirty seven in
a couple of weeks, I guess, so, you know, and I
think I'm fourteen ten or fourteen orsomething like that. Whatever. So I
was in my mid thirties, latethirties or whatever when I met her.
Yeah, and every creep, I'mlike, dude, twenty six, twenty

(01:19:02):
seven, she's got a job,Yeah, she's got a degree, or
like she's got you started your adultlife. Yeah, I'm like, but
I'll tell you this because I domeet in greets, like at all the
shows that I'm doing, and I'llmeet people, and I've met some twenty
four twenty five year old women andI just go, yeah, I couldn't

(01:19:25):
Yeah, I couldn't talk to you. Yeah, that's the it wouldn't work.
Yeah. There was one time wemet you guys. Remember we were
down. We took a trip theshow, took a trip to somewhere out
of the country, and we metthese these two girls hot. They were
really hot. You remember those chicksthat we met, And they're hot,
and they lived at the time,they lived in Miami, and so we

(01:19:46):
were flying flying back to Miami andI was already staying in Miami when we
got back from this trip. Sure, so I was like, I got
to hook up with these with thischick. So we made plans to go
and then I looked it back atthe time it was my Space and I
looked at her MySpace page and itwas like all these sparkles and all this
stupid stuff, and I go,I can't, I cannot. I can't

(01:20:12):
hook up with you while I'm staringat Hello Kitty. Yeah, Like that
doesn't work for me, dude.There was one time before I met my
wife, I was like thirty one, thirty two and the woman was twenty
four and she didn't know who JohnnyCash was. And this is after the
movie had come out, though,and I was like, I can't.

(01:20:34):
Yeah, just based on that,even if they're hot, you still can't.
I did. No, No,Well, I'm not going to talk.
What am I gonna talk to youabout? So you've been so you've
been married how long? Now?Six years? Six years? Then with
my wife for eight The kid isfour four years. Yeah, didn't change
your life like I hope. Sothere's some people like for the dudes I

(01:20:58):
want Okay, I saw this,I saw this yesterday. Maybe you guys
talked about it. So apparently likeTyreek Hill got another woman pregnant. Oh
my god, okay football player.Yeah, he's up to twelve kids total,
five in the last year. Yeah, and his wife is still with
him. I'm like, who arethese women put up with? They all?

(01:21:21):
You know, when you have that, they'll put up with it to
live the lifestyle. I think,you know, I guess, but I'm
looking at it like, how madare you where? It's like, yet,
when he gets another woman pregnant,that's that's your money that he's spending
on the other miss whatever. Everyoneinvolved in that story blows my mind.
I I the wife first thing withthe guy. Obviously the guy for for

(01:21:44):
being twelve. I mean, geez, there's there's ways to make sure that
doesn't happen. Man. Yeah,yeah, you would think after that.
You'd think after like one, two, three, he would think like,
man, I'm getting horror every chickthat I screw. Yes, yeah,
so maybe not we'll get it tiedoff or something, you know. Yeah.

(01:22:05):
Yeah, yeah. So obviously kidsdidn't change his life because he proceeds,
you know. Uh, but yeah, I think if you're a halfway
decent parent. Of course, kidshave to change your life. I'm glad
it's it's slows you down. Itputs things in perspective. Now what I
do matters. If I sell tickets, all the money doesn't go to me.

(01:22:27):
It's like I'm setting her up andmaking sure she's okay. And that's
what's on the forefront of my mindall the time. It's good, it's
a good thing. It's stressful.Yes, your daughter is for she is
dwarf? Is Is she a dwarf? Yes? Because your parents, I
think you told me they were notright. I have no little people in

(01:22:47):
my family. None. And ofcourse you know the old joke to talk
with your mom. Yeah yeah,yeah, yeah, the old joke.
You know it's like, oh soit was barn and Melian Town that week.
Now, fine, if you sawpictures of my dad, you saw
me and be like yeah, okay, yeah, uh but uh uh yeah
so she so she is also alittle person and uh which makes me well

(01:23:15):
equipped to now deal with any sortof problems or issues that she's gonna have,
because it's like I've gone through thoseas we did. You have like
prior to when you're when your wifegets pregnant. Yeah, and you obviously
you think about it, you haveto talk about it. Whatever. I
don't know if they tested in advance, but they know whats gonna come out
or whatever. You like ultrasounds theultrasounds prior to learning, did you have

(01:23:40):
a desire one way or the other? Did you think like, oh,
I hope she isn't a little person, or or it's not a big deal.
Yeah, you know, I knewthat it was obviously a chance.
So I really was like, okay, find either way, but we're gonna
get really Barbara Walters right now.Uh, there was a part of me

(01:24:00):
that was hoping for an average sizedaughter or average sized kid, just because
I know the issues that come withdwarf Ism, and and when I found
out she was going to be alittle person, I got really really depressed
because I'm like, I just putthis disability onto somebody when I could not

(01:24:23):
have. I could just not have. She would not be a little person
if I was not her father,like if she had a different father.
But then my wife told me something, and this got me, This pulled
me out where she told me shegoes, yes, but there are always
going to be little people in thisworld. There's hundreds of thousands before,

(01:24:44):
there will be millions afterwards. Therewill always be dwarves in this world.
How lucky is our daughter out ofall those dwarves that have ever existed?
How lucky is our daughter that shegets to have you as her father,
who has lived this life, whohas experienced it and has been successful.
So it's like, that's her example. So whatever happens, put it in

(01:25:05):
yeah, and I go, oh, man, like that that did it
for me where I'm like, Okay, what what is the Obviously everyone wants
their kid to be healthy and happyand sure ten fingers, ten toes,
all that kind of stuff. Uh, what are you you know a lot
of challenges growing up whatever in life? What what's what are things that people

(01:25:28):
don't maybe don't think about that makesyour life harder? Whatever? What's the
worst part? The worst part?The worst part is just you know,
people making jokes to your face andstuff like that. Because whereas uh,
and so my opening act is thisgreat comic. His name is JB.

(01:25:50):
Ball. He's going to be atthe good Year Theaters to night in Akron
and uh he's a black guy.And when we do the meet and greets
there's so many times, right,look at HM to go, people talk
to you like that, and somany times people look at me people talk
to me like that. Like it'slike there's like shared like, oh people
look messed up no matter what youlook like. But uh so the hard
the hardest part is it's just likethe jokes and not it's not really jokes.

(01:26:14):
It's just people like saying mean comments, jokes have punchlines, uh and
then just adjusting there. And there'sthings like you don't even think about,
like when I check into a hotel, if the shower head is pointed up,
I'm screwed. All right, Iguess I'm not showering this week.
It's just like it's hard to like, yeah, I'll call the front desk,
they'll fix it, or I'll door or or I'll play cirque miche

(01:26:36):
and I'll climb up there and doit. But uh, yeah, it's
there are people things or I meanthere there's a kid I want to drop
kid, this kid at my daughter'sschool who calls me not real dad.
Come, he goes, it's notreal dad. I'm like, I'm a

(01:26:56):
real I'm a real dad. Trustme about the receipts. You know people.
Yeah, people say and do whateverweird stuff. But see here's the
thing now, Rover, is thatmy dad, uh knew that this would
happen. Not a dwarf, butknew that I would be made fun of.

(01:27:17):
So his philosophy, and I'm gonnahave the same philosophy with my daughter,
is that he and I would writecomebacks to kids making fun and then
I would go to school. Yeah. And then and he was a lawyer,
so it's like, you know,he had he had away with words
and we would write comebacks. Sothen when a kid would make fun of

(01:27:40):
me, I already had the comeback. Yeah. I would crush prepared.
Yeah, I crushed souls, Rover, Yeah, I like I I that
was really probably a stepping stone forover comedy. Yeah totally. Now when
like some you know, some ahole in the audience is like, I'm
gonna yell out leprechaun. I betI bet you he's never heard that before.

(01:28:00):
Yeah, I got it. I'vegot the comebacks to that. So
now when you walk into a room, yeah, people, and I have
to be honest, I'm guilty ofthis one. Somebody comes in like just
yesterday, I was coming out ofthe bathroom and there was like a some
people were coming out of the buildingnext to us or where they're under construction,
and it was like a I don'tknow what was going on. It

(01:28:23):
was a little lady in a wheelchairand she was I don't know about your
size or whatever, and she's gettingthis wheelchair. You can't, Yeah,
will you try not to stare?Yes? But then I go, well,
wait a second, that's even rude, like because if it was somebody
who didn't have a condition, I'mgonna look at them. And so now
I'm like trying to avoid. Andthen I'm like, no, I don't

(01:28:44):
want to avoid. I want tolook. Dance you do in your head
where it's like you don't want tostare, but then you don't want to
act like you don't acknowledge their existence. Yeah, So there is that,
There is that balance. And theeasy thing to say is just treat everyone
equally. It's like we're human being. Yeah, no, one, that's
not real life. It's not youdon't treat everyone. I don't treat everyone
equally. You just don't. Yeah, you want to you try to try,

(01:29:09):
there be no you know, peoplearen't being killing each other in Gaza
or whatever exactly. So it's like, so that's always gonna happen, but
now it's like, Okay, nowI'm well equipped to so and so.
And my daughter comes to me andsays like, Oh, this happened at
school or this happened whatever. I'vegot that because I because I've I've lived

(01:29:30):
that life and I and I knowthat story. Do you think that things
are different? And by the way, Brad Williams is here with us.
He's going to be at the GoodyearTheater in acron tonight, two shows tonight,
two shelves tomorrow in Pittsburgh. InPittsburgh, Yeah, so Goodyear Theater
tonight, two shows tomorrow, tomorrow. I go to Pittsburgh, but go
to bradleyscomy dot com. I'm touringliterally all over the place. Okay,

(01:29:54):
do you think that thing anything?And I wonder this. I don't have
any kids my show. Yeah,but you know, I know how everything
these days is so politically correct andoh we're so this, and we're so
that, and we're so oh,we're so woke, and we're so blah
blah blah. Are things any differentfor like your daughter growing up now?

(01:30:16):
As opposed to when you were growingup, kids were I mean kids were
me which superman? Yeah, AndI wonder are kids any better to each
other now? Or are they justas mean but they are not getting caught
or whatever? You know what,Uh, get back to me in a
few years, because right now,I mean, you know, taking my

(01:30:39):
daughter to preschool. The kids aregreat, kids are great. They love
her also, thank god, thankgod, my daughter's good kid. Oh
my god. We take her outto eat, she's awesome in a restaurant
like, trust me, I willtake I will take dwarfism over having some
of these little terrorists that I seein restaurants any day the week. I'm

(01:31:00):
good. Yeah, so like,thankfully, the kids are great, teachers
are well equipped. So so far, so far, so good. Get
back to me when she's in juniorhigh. That's where it start. Yeah,
that's when things could change. Butuh, do you think Crystal,
you have a daughter who's at whatsixteen? You said, yeah, do

(01:31:23):
you think kids are Do you thinkkids you remember you were picked on and
teased in school and people were cruelto you. Do you think kids are
any less cruel today than they wereback then? Yeah? No, No,
And probably more because of social media. Yeah, now access to you
can bully on social media like,oh you're you're home. It used to

(01:31:45):
be okay, I'm home from school, right, I'm safe. Nope.
Now you get your phone goes things. Someone just so much comment on your
Instagram. Yeah, that would suckto be a kid. Yeah, so
you and it could be anonymous.You might not know harassing you now,
yeah you know, yeah, yeah, right, no, I guess I
never really thought of that. Butthen the whole thing, so what's the

(01:32:05):
point of all this wokeness and everyoneswed this that if they're not actually any
better to one another, I don'tknow, but uh, that's that's beyond
my pay grade, you know.So you are you gone? Every weekend?
Family? Last week was my secondweek off of the year for for

(01:32:28):
the July. So my so myschedule is like three three or four days
on and then three or four daysat home and then back and forth.
And uh, so far that's working. Iron's hot right now. So I
got a strike and uh, youknow I'm doing this is my first theater
tour, and yeah, you've gone, you've you've because I think when we
first came out of the show,many many times in the past. Yeah,

(01:32:50):
but you were doing much smaller places. Yeah, I was doing the
Great Club here in Cleveland, Hilarities, uh and which is still a fantastic
club obviously, but yeah, we'vegone to theaters. And the thing I
like the most about it is thatit happened not because I got a TV
show, not because I got amovie, not because I started banging a

(01:33:12):
pop star. But it happened becausepeople just passed around my clips. They
like, they just passed around myclips on TikTok, on Instagram, whatever,
and so people are like, oh, this guy's funny, and they
shared it with people. So I'mnot here because of some other reason.
I'm here just because I'm funny andthat and that's why people are buying tickets.
And I love that because now peoplecome to my show and they're expecting

(01:33:35):
funny and they know what I do. They're not going there because it's like,
oh, he's got you know,Like, I'm I feel for this
hot to a girl. I reallydo. I really do. Don't think
she has a long career, andlike, maybe she's got a talent that

(01:33:56):
I don't know about. Maybe you'vebeen in show business for I don't know
how long. And then she goesshe does this fity go the Hawk too,
girl. Yeah, and then liketwo days later she's signed by c
AA or or whoever. You're likethis. Okay, So I did a
podcast last week with the guy whois the CEO of Netflix, Ted Ferrandos.

(01:34:20):
His son has a podcast and Iwas on it, and I don't
think the episode has come out yet, but at one point during the episode
we bring up Hawk to a andI look right at this kid. I
go, if your dad gives thisa Netflix special before me, I will
murder you. I will kidnap you. I don't care that it's being recorded.

(01:34:43):
I want the evidence. I wanteveryone to know it's me that they
it was done for a good cause. So it's never like people make your
money, make your money. However, you got to make your money,
that's fine. I don't want todeny someone a chance and do I there's
part of me that goes like manthat popular that quickly. I hope she
turns it into something. I hopeshe proves everybody wrong. I hope she's

(01:35:04):
got a talent. Great. I'msecure with myself, I'll work, I'm
funny. Fine, Yeah, butIt's just like I always look at the
people that buy tickets to that andgo, why do you buy tickets?
You got people on average go tolike two concerts a year. That's gonna
be your one. That's gonna beyour one. Like, don't get me

(01:35:27):
wrong, I'm shocked when people makeme their one. I'm honored the fact
that we're selling out two shows andadding shows and doing these theaters is amazing.
And that's why I try to puton the best damn show possible and
I'll drink all the red Bulls soI'm hyper as hell on stage. So
I give you a show. Iwant to make sure you get your money's
worth. But I'm always like,man, if people go to two shows

(01:35:48):
a year on average, like makethem, make them good shows. The
black Keys cancel the tour? Whythey're amazing? You know what I mean.
I'm always shocked what works for somepeople. But hey, make your
money. However, you got tomake your money. If if if you
put on a T shirt, puta hot two on a T shirt and

(01:36:11):
you and you could be a millionaire. God God bless you. So like
you say strike while a dude,go do something like I hope she turns
it intossumption. She's from a smalltown in Tennessee with you and the wife
of Hawktua girl available for thration.I mean, you know her technique already.
She's I think I don't know howold she is. I think she's

(01:36:32):
like twenty two or something. Forthat, for that reason, I'd probably
say no. But man, hellof a story. Uh let me take
a quick break. You come backwith Brad Williams. She's gonna be at
the good Year Theater tonight. Twoshelves tonight. Go to Brad Williamscomedy dot
com to get tickets. We'll beright back on Rovers Morning Glory. Hang
on, finding a pube stuck inyour teeth isn't as bad as finding a

(01:36:57):
tooth stuck in your pubes. Oheay, things can always be worse.
A friendly reminder from Rovers Morning Glory. Brad Williams was here in studio with

(01:37:18):
us. He's going to be athink Goodyear Theater tonight. Two shows.
You're in Pitchburgh tomorrow, Yes,there are two shows over there. Where
are you playing in Pittsburgh Bayom Theater? Okay? Yeah, And it's funny
man, because I'm trying to youknow, sell tickets for this tour.
Man, every every comic will tellyou this just pet peeves and these are

(01:37:41):
the problems you want to have.But you post something of like, hey,
these are my tour dates. Andit happened literally yesterday. I was
posting about the shows tonight NACRO andsomeone goes, man, you can't come
to Cleveland. I'm like, it'sforty minutes away. I'm coming all the
way down here, you guys.And then the guy she responded and was
like, well, I have mycar doesn't work, and I don't make

(01:38:04):
that much money. Go then youshouldn't even see me if I'm in Cleveland.
Save your money. Oh my god, like get like starting only fans,
do whatever you gotta do. Holycrap, you drove off here to
be on this show, so you'renot an accurate and I but I did
this. You're you're making the sacrifice. You're coming up to the show.
I'm thinking sacrifice and drive. Anyonegets sacrifice and disappearance. Rover is costing

(01:38:29):
me money because I did, becauseI had to get up here. But
it's but it's dude, it's it'stotally worth it. You're one of there.
I have a phrase now that I'msaying a lot when I'm on,
when I'm on these shows, whichsome people say, like radio is dead,
ago, No, it's not bad. Radio is dead. Bad radio
is dead. Now you don't haveto uh listen to Backsack and Flapjack in

(01:38:51):
the morning just because time. Okay, you don't have to listen to them
just because they're on. Now youhave choices. So now the good shows
are surviving, such as yours.Well, everyone has a podcast these days,
too, do you you? Idon't think you have a podcast.
I do not right now. Ihad one. It was great. You're

(01:39:12):
the only comedian that doesn't have apot wrong with you because I dude.
So it's worked. I'm it's alot of work and and and some people
say, oh, you're just throwingthe microphones you mess around for a bit.
No, it's way more than that. Uh So I would like to
see my kid at some point,I'm home three or four days a week.
I want to make sure i'm thereand I'm home and i'm and I

(01:39:34):
could just be dad and I couldjust be husband. That's what that's what,
that's what I want to be.I'll probably get one eventually. I'll
probably start one up, you know, and will it be successful? I
don't know maybe, but uh,right now I'm just focusing on touring.
Uh and but I'll I'll get oneeventually. I'm going on other people's podcasts,
which I think is great. Nowyou could like it used to be.

(01:39:57):
You know, this is back inlike the Johnny Carson era that old
everybody. Yeah, it used tobe like you had to get on the
Tonight Show to be a successful comedian. Now if you go on Andrew Santino's
podcast with Bobby Lee or Burt Chrischer'spodcast, you get three times the audience.
God, if you get on Rogan'spodcast, jeez, like you you

(01:40:20):
you get how many more people thanwould have seen you on the Tonight Show.
Like, so that's the better wayto go. Do you ever look
at like speaking of the Tonight Show. Every now and then I'll go on
YouTube starts, you know, feedingme stuff or whatever, and for some
reason it will give me Tonight Showclips sometimes. I mean, this is
I don't even know what year,this is, seventies eighty, I mean

(01:40:41):
he was on forever. Yeah,and then you'll watch a clip and on
the Tonight Show, Jeff, Yes, that's fair. Resident's historian back there.
Unpeggable timing and comedic time again,right before you get to a punchline,
let me give him this fact thatwasn't even a punch. So there's
an observation that they when you ifyou watch that, like even to the

(01:41:03):
tod it's like the Beatles. Youcan listen to the Beatles and you go.
That still holds up today. JohnnyCarson and the stuff that he was
doing, the interviews and stuff likethat, and his delivery still holds up
to this day. There is athere is a joke. There's a Carson
joke that every time someone goes toEl Paso, Texas, I think of

(01:41:24):
this joke, which is a Karnakjoke. Wow, we're dating ourselves here,
but it is U l passo that'swhat the quarterback does when you can't
l rouno or El Ponto. Stillworks, still great. Uh. Cis
Boomba is one of the biggest laughsin television history. Cis boomba. That's

(01:41:45):
the sound in an exploding sheep makessis boomba. So it's like, yeah,
it works, Funny's funny, LikeI'm gonna do later this year.
Uh, I'm doing my first Europeantour, going to going to London,
going to Amsterdam, going to Norway, going like going to going to Denmark,

(01:42:09):
and I'm going to go to Dublin, which is terrifying as a dwarf,
I'm going to walk into a pubThey're like, oh the Craft three
you yeah, you fit exactly.Uh So, But I'm doing a world
tour and some you know, I'mdoing Australia in November, and some people

(01:42:30):
are like, well, are yougoing to change your material? No,
Funny's funny. Funny is funny,and that's like, that's why I'm going
to these places is because we foundout that a lot of people over there
are watching my clips and sharing myclips and great, so yeah, funny
is funny. If you traveled alot, have you been to a lot
of these places, It's gonna belike the first time, Like I've been

(01:42:50):
to like England before, I've beento Australia before, but uh this will
be like I'm on New Zealand forthe first time, which I'm sure I'll
get it there, and like theHobbits are real. The Lord of the
Rings people never left. I mightvisit the set just to be like,
just take a photo and hobbit town. Why not? Why not? It's

(01:43:11):
fun? Is it is there?Are you nervous or is there pressure or
is it like it was pressure toput on a good show? But yeah,
I'm not really. I've been doingthis now for twenty years. There's
some people that are just discovering me, and that's great. I don't care
when you hop on the bandwagon,hop on. But some people like who
you're like, No, I'm twentyyears in so you've been doing this for

(01:43:32):
twenty years. Yeah, how oldare you now? Forty forty years?
Yeah? So yeah, I'm forty, which is like sixty five and dwarf
So dude, they dude, buya ticket. People you have Dwarfs have
shorter lifespan. I have no idea. I don't know. It's a fun
joke for me to say. Imean, yeah, I have a shorter

(01:43:53):
lifespan. If there's several large dogsaround me, live span in that way,
you have a piple life. Dude. Oh Diego that clip, Oh
my god. I threw a jokeon my uh on my Instagram about Diego,
my ninety pound pit bull, andthat thing got like twenty five million
views. It was crazy. Uh, I do. I love having a

(01:44:15):
pit bull. I love it.I love walking around my little town dwarf
walks a pit bull. Who's walkingwho? I don't know. Uh,
it's great. People just like seea dwarf walk like you don't that every
day? Yeah, people see mewalking a pit bull and they think I'm
the beast Master like they like,like they think I'm Doctor Doolittle and I
could talk to animals. He's like, he take him the savage beast.

(01:44:36):
Now he's a sweetheart. So whatwas your fall fallback plan if you didn't
if you didn't do this, ifI didn't do comedy. Yeah, well,
I was going to school. Idropped out of college. I was
going to USC, fight on trojans. I was going to USC, And
people like you dropped out of college, Like I was a communications major.

(01:44:58):
We didn't garbe, we didn't losea can sir cure We're fine. You
know. I wanted to be asports broadcaster. I wanted to be uh
calling games. I grew up inLos Angeles where we where we had two
of the greatest of all time,Chick hern with the Lakers and Vince Scully
with the Dodgers. And uh that'swho I would listen to, and uh,
yeah that's what that's what I wantedto do. Uh I wanted and

(01:45:18):
my and my dad encouraged me becausehe's like, dude, if you could
interview basketball players, And then mydad's a genius because later I got to
interview basketball players. I did anevent for a radio station out in LA
where I got to be on thered carpet for the Lakers. And this
is the season where they had,uh that they had like a super team

(01:45:40):
that ended up sucking. It wasDwight Howard when he was really good.
Uh, Steve Nash, Uh,Kobe was still there, so it was
like, uh, Paw Gasol.So it was like this super team they
ended up sucking. But either way, but I got to but I got
to interview Dwight Howard and Pow Gasolthat are seven feet tall. Yeah,

(01:46:00):
and then I got to did youbend that? Like? How did how
did you even physically do that?How did they do that? Who did
you get on a ladder? Ithink Pau Gasol took years off his career
because he bended that. He bentover to interview me. Dwight Howard ended
up holding the microphone nearest crotch area. That was interesting. Uh but dude,
the thing about that red carpet isso you and I are similar.

(01:46:26):
We're in we we like to makepeople laugh. And if I think of
a joke, I say the joke. I don't think. If I think
something's funny, I say it.So I mean I'm in. I'm interviewing
Lakers on the red carpet. MagicJohnson is on the red carpet. Okay,
I grew up in Los Angeles.Dude, Magic's one of my heroes.

(01:46:47):
And he comes up and I didn'tknow he was going to be there.
Literally, just a publicist comes upto me and goes, Magic Johnson,
this is Brad William's from k Rock. Brad, here's Magic. That's
my intro. And now I'm talkingto my hero. I don't know what
to say. I'm dumb struck,and I'm just like championships businesses, and

(01:47:10):
uh, do you own the Dodgers. You're great, That's what I say.
I say, You're great. Yeah, and Magic's a pro. You
go, thank you very much.But it's not just me, you know,
it's a lot of people helping meout. It's a lot of great
family, teammates, business partners.He goes, and we've accomplished so much.
And then he says this. Rover, he goes, and if I

(01:47:30):
could do it all over again,I wouldn't change a thing. Rover,
you're thinking the same thing. Ithink the first thing that comes to mind,
right, I know that you're asick free black I am. And
and there's a lot there's a lot. There's a lot of people that might
be hearing this and thinking a certainthing, but they're good people. They
wouldn't say it to the man's space. Yeah, Rover, Yeah, what'd

(01:47:54):
you say? I looked at MagicJohnson and I go, not one thing?
That not that I remember a veryserious press conference. Magic, you
wouldn't change one thing. And thenand then I said this, you can't

(01:48:15):
think of one thing? Are youpositive? Dude? Magic is in great
shape. Because his publicists had himrunning out of there so fast. Magic
laughed. Joke. I want tosay that Magic laughed. He's a good
guy. Publicist was terrified. Butthat's what makes That's when like when people

(01:48:41):
started going about like, oh youcan like these comedians, they can't say
these things like they there are certainthings you can't joke about you can't tell
us that because all we're doing istrying to make the joke. That's it.
And if I'm about to say something, and then right before i say
the joke that I believe it's funny, that I know it's funny, I'm
going like, wait, but whodoes that offended? Who does that talk

(01:49:01):
about? And also thinks change overtime. If you jogs you were making
twenty years ago, maybe you're notmaking some of those today. Thousand percent
you were here in twenty nineteen.This is a quote from Brad at the
time. Oh boy, we weretalking about cancel culture. Okay, they
say that. Brad said, Ihope that one day I will be famous

(01:49:26):
enough to have to have people tryto cancel me. Then he got his
wish. You know, you know, you had made a joke, told
a story, embellished a story abouthaving sex with a chick, and she
thought it was Carlos or something likethat or something like that. Yeah,
which, don't get me wrong,I look back on that. I wish

(01:49:48):
I didn't make the joke because it'sa bad joke. I I don't like.
But they's change. Things change.You got to put it into perspective.
I have to be able to fail. Comedians have to be able to
fail. If the if the intentis to make laugh great, that's the
intent. Like that, like,that's the intent. If the intent is

(01:50:10):
not to hurt, because there's somepeople that do that. They're they're like,
no, if I if I walkhalf the audience, that's a good
thing. What about like Chappelle andtransgenders or whatever, what do you think
about He's he's trying to make youthink. He's trying to make you think,
and wow, didn't everyone think?Everyone had an opinion. Everyone started
talking about it. So in away he advanced the movement, whether on

(01:50:33):
purpose or not. But comedians haveto be allowed to fail. We have
to be allowed to say the thingand then go because trust me, will
know I say a joke, Iknow if it doesn't work, the audience
doesn't laugh, and that tells me, okay, like that joke didn't even

(01:50:54):
today or like like at twenty yearsago, people would laugh not you know,
and that's their Josh is guilty asyou were telling. That's my favorite
thing is when an old clip comesup with some comedian in the eighties,
nineties, even two thousands of gagewhatever, and then and then and then
you see the comments not funny.But in the video everyone's laughing, like

(01:51:15):
they're like, there are people likewhen Larry the Cable guys sold out a
damn football stadium in Omaha. Thenthey're like, literally, KiB goes not
funny, No he is. Hemade a football stadium laugh. Like you
could say you don't find it funny. That's fine. You know, people
have their tastes great, but likeyou can't say that person is not funny.

(01:51:36):
There's tons of comedians I don't findfunny. But if they're let me
tell you Bill Burn now of course, like Bill's great, so like,
but if they're making theaters and roomslaugh, and it's like you said,
the people that were in that clip, that's so offensive if they're laughing,

(01:51:59):
come on man. Yeah. WellI was just saying out the other the
other day that people who think thatthey're so holier than now today, there
are things you are saying and doingright now, and five years will it
will be offensive. People will lookback and they'll go, you know,
just like like with slavery, Ohyeah it's bad. We all agree.
Slavery bad. You know you lookbad. Two hundred years ago. People
at the time, everyone's like,I wouldn't have won. Yeah, you

(01:52:23):
wouldn't because everyone did at the time. So and then hopefully you grow and
you machange things change, and hopefullyyou become a better person, and like,
you can't be mad at the thingthat you just found out five minutes
ago, and now you're like,well, now that guy who said the
thing that I agreed with the nineteenninety four, now I've changed my mind,

(01:52:45):
so now he should have known betterthat or the other thing that pisses
me off is people like you're alittle person. If somebody says something about
a little person and then you knowthe people other people want to come,
don't say that what you're six feettall. Let him come play, Let
the little people come play. You'remaking a jazz, you know, do
not do not take up the mantlefor or you could be in you could

(01:53:06):
be an ally great. If there'sa group that says, hey, this
is going on and we don't likethis, you can help, but to
just be like, you know what, because this happens all the time.
When I'm my comedy shows, I'llsay I'll say a joke about a group
I do a lot of jokes aboutabout it. The Jews actually just finally
we could talk about it. Soit's like I do a lot of jokes

(01:53:30):
about disability and certain and certain disabilities, and it's always like I feel the
buttholes Titan in the room, andwhenever there's that disability and they're actually there,
they're laughing the hardest. And it'sthat thing where I where I go.
So why are you getting mad?The people I'm talking about, they're
not offended, they're loving it.So why are you getting mad? You're

(01:53:54):
adding extra story? Isn't it thateven how you were discovered Carlos. I
don't know if this is a truestory or not. That Carlos let to
see on stage doing a thing talkingabout making a joke about dwarves or midgets
or whatever he was saying at thetime, and you're in the audience,
Yip, I was just planned.Did he know you were there? Just
then? And and what happens.He's on stage, he starts making midget

(01:54:16):
jokes. Half the audience is laughing. The audience that's sitting by me is
like, and and of course hecouldn't see you, so he didn't you
all he knows is happy, audienceis laughing, and then there's like a
line like a Mason Dixon, theline in the room where they're not laughing.
He goes, what's wrong with thisside? And he actually says the

(01:54:38):
sentence, he goes, what isone of them here? And I just
raised my creepy little hand in theairly and he called me up on stage
and he's like, He's like,I want to talk to you. So
he just calls me up on stageand he starts asking me questions and I
answered the questions honestly. I wasn'ttrying to be funny, wasn't trying to
write jokes, and my answers gotlaughs, and that that is what made

(01:55:00):
me go, holy crap, that'samazing. So to your point, yes,
the fact that he was talking aboutthose things that helped launch my career.
Like I remember, he asked me, like, well, what do
you do for a living? Andat the time, nineteen year old kid
living in Orange County, California,I did with all nineteen year old kids
living in Orange County, California,do I worked at Disneyland. So I
said, I work at Disneyland.Audience laughs a little bit, and I
turned to them and said, shutup about one of the seven and laughed

(01:55:25):
again. I love the fact thatjoke still gets least and that that was
it. That was the thing thatmade me go, oh man, this
is awesome. Prior to that,did you think about having a career in
stand up or is that like,oh, maybe I could do this.
I like, I was always likeI was in theater and you know,
I wanted to be an actor orwhatever. I wanted to be of a
sports broadcaster, like, but comedianwas a job that I knew existed.

(01:55:47):
I loved comedians, you know,but I didn't. It's like if you
told me, hey, I wantto be an NFL football coach, I
have no idea how to become anNFL football coach or coaching high school,
then I guess you're moving on.But you know, it's like, so
you didn't know how to be acomedian? How do you beat? What's
the path a comedian? What doyou do? Now? There's tons of

(01:56:08):
podcasts where guys have talked about it, and you know, I think a
lot of people know sort of thepath that you go, but at the
time I don't know, like,like what do you do? Like,
so I just started doing open micnights and traveling and trying, you know,
driving four hours for no money.Yeah, and uh, which got

(01:56:28):
me ready to uh travel an hourto lose money today. Yes, Now
look at the path that he did. He all the way from that tiny
little hands twenty one years ago,and tonight look at him at the good
Year Theater, at the Inact GreatYour Theater two shows tonight. Go to
Bradwilliamscomedy dot com to get your tickets. Brad, I always enjoy having you

(01:56:54):
come out. It's good. Seewe haven't seen it. Not wait five
years again. Yeah, I'll beback, you know, I'll be back,
whether it be at a theater inCleveland, whether it's hey man,
I don't know how long I'll dofeeders. I've seen a lot of comics
go up to theaters and then somego back to clubs. Maybe we'll be
back at Hilarities, which is oneof the best clubs in the country,

(01:57:15):
so it's one of the best placesto perform. So I don't know where
I'll be but as long as aslong as you're gapping into a microphone,
I'd love to talk to you.Well, thank you, and I hope
to see back real soon. Gosee Brad tonight, Goodyear theater. Always
good seeing you. I have totake a break. You'll be right.
You almost said short break and youstop yourself, you stop yourself. We'll

(01:57:39):
be right, Glory, hang on, don't let your boss ruin your day.
Start your day with us and letdo ruin your day instead. We're
back with Rover this morning, Glory, Charlie. I got sidetracked there at

(01:58:00):
me a text. He's still outthere. I just because I was.
So I was driving in this morning. Eminem's new album just dropped. Yeah,
and bring Brian in. It soundsjust to come in the phone screen.
Yeah, yeah, tell them justto come in, just get his
opinion real quick, but to explainto me what I'm driving in. I

(01:58:21):
listened to Eminem's new album. I'mlike a all right, is he back?
So did you listen to Eminem's newalbum? Yet? You do?
You like Eminem? We're about thesame age, so yeah, I love
Eminem? All right, So putthe headphones on. So I'm driving in
and usually I don't care what Eminemsays. Yeah, I have no opinion,
Like I go all right, it'sEminem. He's just trying to be
as crass as possible here. ButI heard this and even I went like,

(01:58:44):
jeez, you really got to saythat. So I just wonder what
your opinion is okay to say,I'm sorry, I'm a statements of basically
like you're going to have for gays. Roman, Wait a minute, which
a word Raper retarded me? Isthis rhyme? Okay? So park it
did? It wouldn't make cars fittedas far as what I just stated regarding

(01:59:06):
it to probably be gone to saythat I'm playing. I'm not a minted
you swear to gott to see oneof them little fis come at me,
I'll pick it up by his legsand dropping and kicking Mart. We could
taste that you were the baby.But is it I was? I was
like, Jesus, is fine,okay, okay, I'm not worried that

(01:59:27):
Eminem will pick me up and dropI am not. I have a lot
of fears in my life. Huh. One of them, you know,
cars backing up without a backup camerawhile I'm while I'm behind them. Yeah,
I fear that. I do notfear Eminem picking me up by the
ankles and drop kick, say Brad. They would go, oh, but

(01:59:54):
sure, but he's going to inspireother people. It does, so it
doesn't bother you. If you listento Eminem's raps. He talks about himself
in so many disparaging ways, andhis family and his upbringing in everything else.
So it's like people and people dothis with comedians all the time,

(02:00:15):
where a comedian will make a jokeabout a certain group and people go,
oh, my god, he madefun of Indian people. And then you
go like, oh, you're madbecause you're Indian. Because when he was
doing jokes about disability and jokes aboutother Asians and jokes about Blacks and Mexicans
and stuff like that, you weren'toffended. So the fact that you got
offended at that one joke, that'sabout you. Oh so you're just a

(02:00:40):
narcissist. You're pro midget kicking.Yeah, I'm pro midget kicking. Let
that be. Let that be thetake away. He's getting canceled again,
be the takeaway from this show.Brad Williams obviously pro midget kicking. You
know what, Biden and Trump weretoo old. That's the platform I'm running
on. I left left to kickhim very kickab Mitch's very kicking very small

(02:01:04):
people. They can fit in agolf phone. Speaking of FoST Crip Champion
that I didn't know you were doingimpression. You never that good. No,
I got. I got like threeand most of them are. Most
of them are just like people inshow business. The same size hands.
Since Donald Trump hands. You've heardabout Trump's hands, very very tiny hands.

(02:01:30):
That's why I always have hot Bluenext to me. Smarter hands,
smarter Hans Trump's hands. Okay,let me throw this out there. When
I'm doing a Trump impression, I'mdoing Kyle Dunnigan's Trump impression. That that
I'm not good at impressions. Impression. Yes, so I want to give
the credit to comedian Kyle Dunagan.He's great, one of the best follows

(02:01:55):
on Instagram. He could do impressionsof anybody, and so I'm doing his
version of Trump. Well, Ididn't mean to bring it back. I
didn't mean to drag you back in, but I drag you by my feet
just like EM said, you dragme back here over. Thank Brad,
Thank you so much. Thank you. If anything Dwarf happens the news,

(02:02:15):
let me be your little year cospondent. Okay, yeah, call me freaking
Dinklage comes out with a new movieor something, I'll I'll review it,
all right, Brad Williams, thankyou? All right? That is so
even Charlie was offended. Here's whatI say. So like oftentimes the people
who are getting offended by stuff theater, it's not the target of the Charlie.

(02:02:42):
You know, oftentimes more liberally youare, Charlie's pretty liberal as you
call them a lib taro and snitz. You know, they can get offended
for things that you know, forother people. Sure it doesn't offend them,
but they'll be offended for other people. Uh but now now it's did
four other people. I just went, wow, that's a right, that

(02:03:03):
seems But now he is okay,so you can you can hear that and
you don't even have to not evenhave to make you cringe. He's giving
me the M word. Path yougot the N word, the N word,
you got it? Okay, allright, all right, I did
get a little bit behind. Solet me take a break. We have

(02:03:28):
another guest coming in today as well, full of guests. Go forever with
no guests. Now we got allthe guests on one day. Let me
take a quick break. Will beright back on Rover's Morning Clo. Marlon
Wayne's is coming in in just afew minutes. We'll be right back hang
on competition. Right in the crank, We're back to Rover's Morning Glory.

(02:04:01):
Someone noticed, dear and I alreadytalked about it today, but I get
the audience has been watching rmg TV. An observation has been made. Crystal
extra swetted it up for today forthe guests coming in as the accusation.
Is that true, Crystal, Iactually did this for Jeffrey more than a

(02:04:25):
guess. Guests. That blonde hair, now, yeah, but I dressed
to impress. Yeah, what doyou think, Jeffrey? You happy that
she's She looks good about anything shewears. But she went to extra mile
because of I guess my bloody hairis turning on all Sheila's okay, all

(02:04:49):
right, oh my god? Allright? You know who else has not
been in here for a long time. I don't even remember the last time.
Marlon Wayne's has not been in herefor quite a few years. He's
making his way to the studio rightnow. He'll be on in just a

(02:05:11):
minute. Yeah, you do youthink she wore a short skirt to maybe
try to score with Marlon or ormaybe Brad for all we know. I
don't know. I think it either, guy, Yeah, yeah, either
either. I think it's more like, right after yesterday show, she's like,
I got all these new Instagram followersout of nowhere, and I want
I wonder why. Yeah, gee, I wonder why she wanted to Yeah.

(02:05:36):
Now she's probably how are you goodseeing my man? I have a
see over there. Marlon Wayne justwalked into the studio and uh, it's
have a seat over here on thecouch. Uh yeaheah, there you go

(02:05:57):
right there, there you go.Yah we Marlin's gonna be at the Funny
Bone tonight and on Saturday night aswell. Two shows tonight, two shows
on Saturday night. Marlon wayne'sofficial dotcom for the for the tickets. What's
happening? How are you doing?I'm good man, look at you.
I haven't seen you any studios,I know. I was like, I
didn't know I was coming on herebecause I don't check my schedule. And

(02:06:19):
then I said and then I waslike, oh, I've seen your rover
And I was like, oh man, it's been said. What's the day?
Is he out of it? He'slike he's out of here. Well,
I was like, oh wow,I like that guy. He said.
Your guy said he said the samething about you. I was like,
oh man, you know, Iwant to credit you. You was
like one of the first podcasters beforepodcasting. Yeah, show always felt like

(02:06:41):
it never felt like I was doinga radio interview. It felt like I
was always doing like a longer formand they shit down and talk about whatever.
Yeah. Yeah, So kudos manfor being a pioneer of that.
I do apologize to our old studio, Like it looked good on camera,
it was nice. We moved overto this new one. We're gonna,
I think, remod We're gonna redothis whole build, like a set in

(02:07:03):
here. Yeah, I know itwas an upgrade on down. I knew
he was getting more money because Iwalked into the building. I was like,
there's a ninth building. But yeah, what is all this stuff on
your arm here? It's it's like, uh, what is all you got
like little patches all over here?Well, I do a lot of shows,

(02:07:26):
so this hand right here is likeI a little carpor tunnel in my
arm from holding a microphone. Yeah, because I do, like, you
know, I'm on the road.I don't come off the road literally because
I'll do it. I do myhour, and I'll do a special,
and then right after I do thespecial, the next week, I go
do a brand new hour because I'mcrazy like that. So I developed some

(02:07:48):
carple tottel So this is patches.These are like stem patch. Stem cells
may help keep my arm and myno canny? Yeah? Does it?
And does it? And X thirtynine are the patches? Does it actually
work? Have you noticed a difference. I've noticed a little. I noticed
a difference, and I also noticedit gives me energy. I feel really
good. I put one on myneck too. So I just I'm trying

(02:08:09):
to live forever as everybody else ages, I just want to be aging background.
I want people go how old easy? Well? I saw a picture
I know I grew up on them, like ninety five. Why did he
look thirty? Well? I justtold somebody I forget, who are you
talking about? And I go,oh, that person is eighty, and
everyone's like, they're not eighty.What are you talking about? Eighty?
No way, I forget who itwas. That's a whit guy, definitely

(02:08:31):
guy, But you're fifty one.I believe right if I saw somebody.
I saw a picture that you postedsomeone because I knew you were coming on.
So I saw a picture it's you. You got your shirt off on
Instagram? Do I? Yeah?And he's like, look at it for
fit not bad for a fifty oneyear old one. I'm looking at my

(02:08:52):
Instagram like what did I do?Uh? So you six pack? You
know? I mean you're still Yeah, I was in I wasn't really good
shape. And that was actually fora movie I just did. I just
did a Jordan Peel movie at uhuh. It's called Him and Uh it's
a monkey pop production directed by thisgreat director, young director, Justin Tipping,

(02:09:13):
and it's a psychological horror thriller.And I got the co lead with
Tyreek Withers. Who did you haveto You got in shape for the movie?
Yeah? I don't want to bein that kind of shape in real
life. There's too much work.But I am in good ship. Look
I got I got arms and muscles, and you know, I'm a shape.
I don't I if they're gonna befilming you. You want to look
good when you're on this Yes,And now when I have sex, I

(02:09:35):
can actually take my shirt off becauseyou know, when you're not feeling confident,
you'll take an underwear off, butyou won't take a shot out.
Yeah, that movie took that wouldbe Got. It's called Him. It'll
come out September twenty twenty five.All right, So it's like a horror
movie. Yeah, psychological thriller,thriller movie, no jokes. It's just

(02:09:56):
all all drama and it's you likethose sorts of roles better than what do
you like all you do? I'mcrazy? I kind of like I.
I like when people get outside oftheir comfort zone, like what you were
in Requiem for a Dream. Thingslike that no one expected. They go,
this guy stand up is in mycomfort zone. Everything I do is

(02:10:16):
not in my comfort zone. Whitechicks. Nothing comfortable about as a black
man playing a white woman. Andwe filmed that and it was supposed to
be Hampton's New York summertime. Itwas winter Vancouver and we had. Nothing
I've done is in comfort So canI go for it? I I've seen

(02:10:41):
a lot of stuff here in I'venever seen white chicks. But hold up,
he's gonna leave, He's gonna leavethe place. Have you not seen
that? I never say that outloud. So here's what whit girls look.

(02:11:01):
Oh my god, you've never seenI knew you're coming in. I
put it on last night, rightbefore I went to bok. Okay,
don't don't take this wrong way.I feel it, but not because not
because of the movie. No no, so I've never seen it. I
got but I love. I gottatell you. I love I love stuff

(02:11:22):
like I love stuff, and Idon't take this the wrong way. I
love stuff that's so stupid that itmakes you laugh. And that's like I
love. If there's a comedy thatI'm gonna watch. I wanted to be
like, ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous.That's how we do our comedies. I
want you to be able to uhevery time you like a smoke of blood.

(02:11:45):
You could watch our movies and belike and not take it too serious.
We always wanted to do everything withkids gloves. We we And it's
funny. When White Ticks first cameout, he got killed by critics and
now twenty years later, it's acult class. Yeah, because when I
put it on last last night,everyone knows this movie. I swear to
God, I must be the onlyperson that's ever seen this one you've seen

(02:12:07):
my reaction. I was like,I had to go. I did.
I did. It's fun because Iwas in bed and my wife was laying
there next to me, and I'mI'm watching it and I start like laughing,
you know, I'm it's so ridiculous. I start laughing at this movie.
And uh, but when I putit on, you see, like
they have the screen at first beforeyou click play, and the Rotten Tomatoes

(02:12:30):
or whatever, the score is fourteenpercent. That's it. And normally when
you see something you go for tooh, you skip right over it.
I'm not gonna watch that. Butthat's that's the thing. Like critics or
whatever. They probably averaged fourteen percentin all of our movies on Rotten Tomatoes.
The critics not for critics. Thereare another lot movies is for critics.
We do it for the audience.A critic has a hard time writing

(02:12:52):
a good write up about a comedybecause there it's comedy subjective and they're taught
to break things down and look atthings through a different lens. And we're
just writing stuff for people to havefun and makes you look at it and
they go, oh, this isan art and there's look not what you
do is an art. But it'slike it's you know, they want to

(02:13:15):
elevate or it's so you know,it's like this is they don't want to
do fart jokes. They want todo scatological humor. We we still do
fart jokes. Oh my god,that fart is a great word. Sit
on the toilet and he said,I mean, you've seen the movie but
after some sort of lack eating andI'm like, it's so I'm forty eight

(02:13:37):
years old and I'm still so stupidthat it's just it makes you laugh.
I love it. Well, allbig kids, right, and at the
end of the day, you'll alwaysbe a big kid, but always going
to be like always be an eightyear old boy or a fifty fifteen year
old teenager. It's still always funny, it always. But what I'm saying

(02:14:00):
comedy comedy, don't take yourself tooserious. Like we want to make you
laugh, and where we have togo to make you laugh, that's what
we want to do. When we'regone, people are gonna go I miss
those movies. But I what Iwas saying is I like seeing so everyone
expects you to be like that stupidyou know everything comedy kind of. Yeah,
But I like when you get outof your comfort or when you do

(02:14:24):
something that people I like when comedians, especially do roles that people just would
never expect you to do well.People don't understand like comedians are probably the
best actors because I think in comedy, I find myself most vulnerable on a
stage. When I'm on stage,like, I'll cry if i'm because this
is like a therapy, says forme. It's beyond just like you know,

(02:14:46):
I'm going up there telling jokes.It's like literal therapy because the wells
I'm pulling from nowadays and my standup is you know, from my pain,
right or something that you have,anything going on in your life over
the past few years, a crazycouple of years. Yeah, but you
know that that's God writing me setsright. So I'm rescuing myself from certain
things by being completely vulnerable on thestage. So when it comes to like

(02:15:09):
being vulnerable in front of a filmcrew, it's easy for me to do.
It's easy for comedians to be like, all right, we're fools every
night and we open ourselves up tobe judged to people, to you know,
get inside all the time. Sowhen it comes to opening up for
drama. It's easier because you're stillnow. Most times in comedy you go,

(02:15:31):
this hurts me. What's funny aboutit? When you do a drama,
you go, you know that thingthat hurt me that I didn't deal
with, let me explore that feelingright now. And that's where the vulnerability
and the truth comes from. AndI think comedians are underrated. And I
know a lot of really great actors. They're not they can't make me laugh,

(02:15:54):
but a really great comedian when they'restill can make me cry. And
me, I'm a performing arts highschool kid. Like comedy something I did
later on in life. I startedat thirty eight years old, so I
was doing I've been doing drama sinceI was like in this first grade.
Yeah, you know, that's justI'm an actor. Did you so you

(02:16:15):
went I went to a school forCreative and Performing Art. Yeah. I
went to lok Galdi of High Schooland the Performing Arts High School in New
York. So when you when youdid that, did people like peers,
people in the neighborhood, did theydid they accept it? Did they?
Or was it like Lee Roy fromFame wearing like wearing like titson leotard in

(02:16:37):
my neighborhood. Crazy. Not Actually, I made a deal with my dad.
My dad was extremely great man,but he was extremely homophobic, and
he was like he didn't he thoughtif I went to that school, like
I would be gain. I'd belike, I'm like, bro, I'm
going I like girls like, don'tworry about that. And he was like,
I don't want you. I wantto be I'm like, it's not

(02:16:58):
you can't. It's not contagious.You can't catch you like girls now,
but a couple of months from actorsbefore you know it. I was like,
it's not contagious. I can't catchit. It's not the flu.
And so my dad made me.He said. My brother was like,
he wouldn't let me go to school. My brother, Kingan was like two

(02:17:18):
hundred and fifty pounds. He said, I'm not gonna let your your your
homophobia stop this boy from pursuing hisdreams. He's gonna go to that audition
and if he gets in, he'sgonna go to school. You're gonna have
to answer to me. And mydad looked at my two hundred and fifty
proud brother and was like, allright, you can go to school.
But he made me promise that Iwould not wear tights. So I begged

(02:17:39):
my teacher, mister Teitler, myacting teacher, to please allow me not
to wear tights, and he said, I promise you not to wear tights.
You promised me that you'll make somethings of yourself and you'll make yoursel
make me proud. I promise.So your dad was, you know,
it's it's weird. You know,everyone's very politically correct states, but you

(02:18:01):
he had false. Everyone has falseeveryone, especially back then your dad.
You know, am I just wasjust Joe witness and he was just like,
I don't want you to go tohell. So yeah, you know,
don't have any of the beefs thathe was. You know, now
you'd look at that and people wouldgo, oh, that's not the right
way to think or whatever. Butbut you know, back then, so

(02:18:22):
you know, that was the waythat people thought, or what I think.
There's certain people I'm like, yougrandfathered into your point of view,
you know what I mean. It'slike I can't ever expect, Like there's
things my mom and dad the grandfatheredinto their thoughts. So I'm gonna let
them have it. I don't judgeyou I can't for certain words change,
you know, every every ten orfifteen years, words, you know whatever

(02:18:46):
this group wants to be called thisnow or whatever. And some guy that's
like eighty, will you know,use the word that they used, and
you're like, oh, look Iwhat a table. No, no,
no, that's what they've been doingyears exactly. People don't like like I
saw that. For instance, Uh, you you're you're, you're I think

(02:19:07):
you want to get this right.Your daughter, my daughter now a son,
now a son transgender, but youso you publicly go, you give
an interview, you say this,and then people in the middle of this
people, but he missed gendered hecalled I said her, and then and
then they and him and he mixed, I mean mischief. It's like,
it's not I get it wrong,not all the time. And my my

(02:19:30):
child gives me up the past.It's like, I get it. You're
you're used to it this way andknowing knowing me this way, so that
the point flip a switch overnight.No, it takes time. I mean
I don't. I still call himher sometime and they're like, look,
I used him, and they're likeboth of them, they're like it's okay,

(02:19:52):
Dad, at least you're trying.Did you I have to go to
a gender class? It's a lot, it's complex. Did you did so?
You have you have three kids?I think right? Yes, three
kids, one younger too older.Yes, when your daughter decided to transition,
were you one of the first toknow? Or like did did?

(02:20:13):
Did? Did the brother? Isit a brother? Or who is?
You? Were the last so everyoneelse knew. They had like a little
inside joke and then because they're probablynervous or what what the reaction would be
or yeah, I think they weredefinitely nervous because I think that you know,

(02:20:33):
it wasn't something that instantly I waslike, yeah, this is great.
I mean it's like you know itwas there was a transitional period from
my myself as well, and soyeah, you know, it's crazy because
and I'm gonna drop the hour onit and people are gonna see, you
know, and it's really it's abeautiful, funny, crazy hour and I

(02:20:56):
kind of just throw myself under thebus and it's it's but it's been story
and it's like, you know,it's not something that you know you you
you uh, I would say it'snot something that you initially go, yeah,
this is great and support you knowwhy, no one's like, oh,
I hope it's not that and it'snot like and you grow to understand

(02:21:18):
that. You know, what youhope to do is support your children no
matter what, because every individual deservesto be happy, and your dream is
not somebody else's dream, and yourlife is not somebody else's life. And
you know, I really support myperspective on things like as you know,
it's easy when when you're not goingthrough somebody, you see somebody or well
you're a pass judgment or oh there'sthat or all these you know, it

(02:21:43):
makes you look at different personally,looks, you look at things differently,
you grow as humanly app so efingsolutely, I'm completely I'm not like like it's
weird, like like I I'm notlike weirded out by a lot of things,
like I'm more on the inside.Right. So now I got more

(02:22:05):
gay friends and I have real relationshipswith my my gay friends and we talk
and we you know, it's notlike, oh, bro, I don't
want to hear that, you knowwhat I mean? Because sometimes at first,
like you be, I'll be talkingto him about by by girls but
yo, man, check this out. And then you know, a vision
and he's like, yo, checkthis out. It's like a naked dude,
Like whoa bro. I'm sorry,I didn't you know what I'm saying,

(02:22:31):
But you know, it just kindof I just think it's it's it's
like, I don't know, Ifeel like when white people started having their
black friend and then it was like, Oh, that's that's just that's Kyle
Man. That's just you know whatI'm saying, That's that's Leroy. That's
like my guy. You know whatI mean. It's like it's not weird
having Leroy in your house because nowyou're used to it and you realize,

(02:22:52):
oh my god, Leroy bleeds likeI bleed. He does not. That's
what I always think. Like,whether it's uh, whether it's race,
whether it's religion, whatever, peoplethey always find a way to hate each
other and they always will. Butgenerally, my belief is if you put
two people in a room together andthey're you know, forced under whatever circumstances,

(02:23:13):
eventually you're gonna come to a toan understanding of one another and you're
gonna be able to see each other'sperspective. I think That's the thing with
whether it's right, like I said, black, white, or transgender,
this or that or the other orwhatever, it's people people are against it
because they just don't know people whodon't like I don't like black guys.

(02:23:35):
But you don't hang out with toomany black people, you know, if
you were forced you to go,yeah, hey, some some black people,
Yeah, I don't like that guybecause he's an a hole. He'd
be an a hole whether he's daughterbrings her black husband home and your little
mulatto grandchild, And now you're forcedto experience it, and you go,

(02:23:56):
wait a second. I was Itwasn't something I initially was thinking about.
But you know, he's actually areally cool guy, and I really loved
that little grand baby. And itgives you a different perspective. And then
you're like, wait, you areone of your friends telling my black people,
and you're like, hold on asecond. You don't know though,
my guy, do you know whatI mean? They're just people, and

(02:24:18):
that's what you learn. I'm reallygrateful because I've always been like a pretty
open dude, and I'm grateful thatI think my child took me to the
next level in terms of my perspective, my understanding, and just my all
around unconditional love, right, andit needed that. I needed that and
I'm grateful for the experience and everythingis God. Man. God wanted me

(02:24:39):
to have this experience. Your dad, you talked about him being homophobic.
He passed away a couple of yearsago. Yeah, what do you think
his reaction would have been? Ifyour daughter comes out transitions becomes a boy.
What do you think he would havesaid? Do you think he would
have had an epiphany like you andbeen like, Okay, I know this,

(02:25:01):
this is my my granddaughter becoming aboy, and I love my granddaughter.
Do you think he would have cometo that same sort of epiphany that
you did or is it just youcan't teach an old dog new tricks.
He kind of he knew, youknow, before he passed, like he
knew he'd never actually witnessed the transition, but he knew my daughter was gay,
and then he knew he knew thatthey were transition. I was very

(02:25:24):
because that's my child, and youknow, we would talk to him and
hey, I have your granddaughter.You know you know my mom too,
My mom, my mom when shefound out I didn't know my mom knew
my daughter was gay until my mymy like one day my sister told me
and I was like, she does. I was like, yeah. My
mother used always go that baby looksjust like me. That's my twin,

(02:25:48):
that it looked like me. Thetalks like me, sounds like me.
I'm like, does she go downon girls? Like? But and my
mother knew my mother? But mymother. Let me tell you some My
child Kay is most to me,the most talented individual in my family.
And like that one has no shape, no color, a brilliant artist.

(02:26:11):
When and when they figure out,when they start writing and doing what they're
doing, I know they they're goingto write things that change the world that
they're They're brilliant. How old areyour kids now? Kay is twenty four,
graduated at USC with honors. Myson Sean is twenty two and he
just graduated LMU and he's going tobe a filmmaker. He's brilliant. They

(02:26:37):
know already what they want to do, absolutely absolutely. And then the baby
Axel knows what she wants to doalready already, music, comedy. That
little one is everywhere, I mean, my own grandchild. It's great.
How old is the little one?One and a half one and a half.
Yeah, man, you've had acrazy few years. Man, it's

(02:27:00):
been the best years of my life, like the worst now it's the worst
lot in life. You had alot of stress the last you haven't been
in here for a long time.The last time you were in here,
you had just been like recently,like caught on a yacht, you know,
with some other woman or whatever,you know, like Papa Rza.
Like it's like it's and that's fromthere, the craziness just starts, like

(02:27:22):
that's when life began. That's whenI became funny. I wasn't you know.
I was goofy for a long timebecause I didn't have pain, and
pain nails you to the ground.And now you become funny because when things
hurt and you find the jokes andthe worst situations, now you're funny.

(02:27:46):
Until then you just goofy and sillyyou, silly puddy. I found that
this and I grew the most inthe last Uh. I guess the last
ten years of my life have beenthe best growing years. I'm a I'm
a better artist, a better person, a better writer. You don't know,
if you don't know how happy youare until it's been tested. Oh
I'm happy, are you really?We'll see about that. And then you

(02:28:09):
get these tests, you go,how about now? Yeah, okay,
he's still happy. Okay. It'slike life tries to wipe the smile off
your face and you have to keepreminding yourself that is funny and everything.
So you think it's really improved everyday just because a it's people can relate.
They go through all sorts of issuesin their own lives. Things aren't

(02:28:31):
always you know, it's not aHollywood story in people's lives, and even
for people in Hollywood exactly Hollywood story. It's it's complicated, I guess,
but I can represent to my lifeand represent you know, for people.
I think it's a heroic story,like I still come out smiling. You

(02:28:54):
can read he went through that.He went through that, fifty seven people
he lost, well, he losthis mother and father, and he's still
smiling like everything I'm going through.Right now, I can give to you
my last special, Good Grief,which is on Amazon Prime right now,
just dropped in June, and it'scalled Good Grief, and it's about me
dealing I have lost fifty seven peopleI love, including my parents. All

(02:29:16):
in fifty I don't even that wasjust something I come. I'm away and
I have a big ass family.So you know, I lost fifty seven
people I love in the course ofh three years. And then and then
my parents, and I was likedepressed, and I was just like,

(02:29:37):
Okay, I gotta find some funnyin this. And I know other people
feeling this, but I really needto rescue myself from this depressed feeling.
How do you find what do youI mean that happens for people to get
to watch the question Now you gotto put that on tonight and fall asleep
after you finish up. But youknow, I found what's funny about this?

(02:29:58):
What's funny about this? And Ifound that life is the celebration of
life. Life is not about feelingthe death and feeling the morning. Well,
it's you know, when I talkabout my parents, I don't remember
the bad stuff. I only rememberthe good. It's like when I eat,
you know, a food, right, everything is food. I don't

(02:30:20):
digest what was bad that's in thetoilet in the morning. All I care
about is the nutrients and did ittaste good or if it didn't taste good?
What does my body need through thatexperience. That's what's important. And
I'm gonna keep that and I'm notgonna look at this stuff in the toilet.
Nobody looks at this stuff in thetoilet and go, man, why
isn't this corn? Why didn't thisdigest? Let me eat this again?

(02:30:45):
No, you leave it alone,right, I take in what's positive.
Everything is in every experience. Sometimesthe worst relationship gives you the greatest lessons.
And that's the way I look atlife. Now. Everything in the
Bible that happened that was great,it was through some kind of crazy magic
traumatic experience. And then you getthis literally licks or this little thing,

(02:31:05):
this nugget that, this, thisscripture, this, this proverb. This
is something that you can use.But look at what this person went through,
just so you can get that lesson. I almost I know you were
close to your mother. She passedaway, and I saw that in the
news. I couldn't even say theword mother effort for a long time.

(02:31:26):
Yeah, because it was I saidthe word mother. I would just I
almost. I don't know as ifI ever texted you. Every number it
gave me. I almost drop.I almost texted you, and then I
go, you know, to offercondolences, and I don't know. Is
this a bad thing? Yes?I didn't because I go, this guy

(02:31:48):
doesn't want to hear about from me, you know, like you just don't
want like let me when your motherdoes anybody that goes hey, no,
I felt when I saw that inthere. Actually I go. I knew
that you were close with her,and I actually I felt really bad for
you. We used to feel worsenow because that would have been a really
nice text. But you know,if it ever happens to you, and

(02:32:13):
I pray it doesn't, I'm gonnatext you, well, thank you.
I would be like, hey,bro, I just wanted to let you
know my condolences. Man. Iknow we don't know each other like that,
but you know I from my heart. Man, I'm sending you big
hugs and big prayers, and Ijust want you to know that you know
you'll get thank you. This isan advanced I'll play this back if my

(02:32:33):
mother passed. You'll get through it. You'll get through it. It takes
time, and I just want youto know I'm a better man than you
had, a better friend. Sopeople people started saying that you go watch
white Chicks and make you feel better. People started saying, I guess you
said it. I don't know.Recently. I think you said that you

(02:32:54):
didn't get married because you didn't wantyour mother to be jealous of the woman
that you married. You want herto be the number one woman in your
life. I said that to mymother on her death man, and people
a lot of people go, thatsounds crazy, that's crazy. They don't
know my mother, and they cansay what they want, but that's their
life. I wanted to honor mymother the whay. I wanted to honor
my mother, and I wanted toprotect my wife from anyway I could,

(02:33:18):
you know what I mean, myfuture wife, Oh, I'm her baby,
she would have been jealous. Butmy mother, like, there's something
about her, I don't trust.My mother was funny, you know.
She was loving when she loved you. She loved you like my first children's
mother. She loved Angela. Butmy mother was just funny, you know.
And I just knew my mom,and I was always like I knew

(02:33:41):
I wasn't ready for marriage, somy mother. You know, once I
lost my mother, I knew,I know, I learned how to really
love a woman unconditionally. My motherwas that that woman for me, that
I loved unconditionally, and and itprepared me for you know, my future
wife. Would you get married oneday? Yeah, I hope before it

(02:34:03):
gets old and gray and looks weird. Yeah, I just I never thought
I would get married that I metmy wife until you got until it got
old and great. I got todo something about this, and I need
to love somebody, Yeah I got. But I guess when I met my
wife, I got, you know, I this I think might be the

(02:34:26):
one I was young. I wasyoung, and I was famous. This
is a punk A bunch of reasons. My mother was one reason why.
The other reason why is I don'twant to fail marriage and I want to
do things the way I want todo them, and I don't care what
people think. I know my journey, I know what success is. I
know what temptation is. It's hardfor a nineteen year old or a thirty

(02:34:48):
year old man that's famous that travelsa lot, that it is wanted by
women and he doesn't have the disciplineand he's in the parties to go,
Hey, I'm gonna tell somebody thatI'm gonna be completely faithful to them,
and I'm going to marry them.Why would I lie to them, God,

(02:35:09):
their family and my family and dosomething that I know I don't have
the discipline for. I'd rather justgo not. Now what if as you
get old of I'm fifty two,I'm not in the clubs. I'm not
looking for that no more, I'mnot. I'm not. That's that's not
what I'm trying to do. Youknow what I'm saying. I like a
dinner. I go to clubs sometime, like tonight, I will be at

(02:35:30):
a club. I will be atthe sports lounge, the Uptown sports Lounge,
clubing and partying. So I willpull up, pull up to there.
But before that, I like anice dinner, like when I go
to I'm not like what's the hotspot? I really like going to like
Marble room, and liked breaking wineand or old fashioned and having a conversation

(02:35:54):
and learning something I like. Ilike that. I like reading books.
I don't in my car. Idon't listen to the music. If you
but still look, you travel around. A hot chick is a hot chick.
You know you're on a you knowit's like you said the temptation.
What if you met a woman andyou hit it off, and she didn't
have a problem with any of thatstuff. Would you consider marriage or would

(02:36:16):
you say that I wouldn't marry somebodywho would allow that. Oh no,
I'm marrying that. How do youlet that one go? I just think
that, especially I think young.I think men need to grow up.
And it took me, you know, a long time to get that kind
of discipline. You know, mymy my first lie. In other places,

(02:36:41):
I love the stage. I haveso much energy plus molt. I
like the stage. I can't dotwo shows and have amazing sex. It's
either I'm going to do two showsor I'm going to have amazing sex.
But it's hard to do it all. I'm older, man, I want
to look. I got my crupledtoone and my thing I probably can't even

(02:37:03):
I can't do the same motions Iused to in the bedroom. My what
you call it? I can't sayit on the radio. But do you
feel like finger skills ain't the same? I was just telling somebody that I'm
forty. I saw a story thatthe average American feels ten years older than
they actually are, and I'm like, I'm the opposite, Like I do

(02:37:24):
not. I mean, I'm fortyeight, but I feel like I'm you
know, I have the mentality Iguess of like a twenty five year old.
I don't feel like I get it. I feel nineteen and eighty five
all at the same time because I'vebeen famous so long and I know so
much. I know so much.That's my problem. But otherwise I feel

(02:37:45):
nineteen and honestly, I still performnothing hurts me, like this will hurt
me. But I work out fivedays a week, you know, And
I say, yes, I'm tooold to do tricky stuff. In the
bit, it's a lie. Istill perform circus acts. It's actually gotten
better because now I don't have toworry about like I got sword control.

(02:38:07):
I don't have to worry about it. You know, I know what the
lightsaber does, I know how toI know patience like I'm amazing in bit
like I would marry me. Isn'tthat the the Isn't that the most the
cruelest part though, of what oflife? Is that the things that you've

(02:38:28):
learned, you still feel young.But look at all the stuff you've learned,
all the mistakes you've made in yourlife. The more knowledge that you
have, how much wiser you are. And then we just dropped that.
After all that knowledge, God isthe greatest comedian because God's the greatest writer.
Man. You call the older youget you'd really take I understand,

(02:38:52):
yes, yes, And you lookat kids and you go, you're so
stupid, and you look back atyourself you go, I was so stupid.
Yeah. And then once you getit figured out, then people are
like too old whatever, it's hardto get a job, and you know
whatever, it just and then youdrop that. That's why I refuse to
figure it all out. And mymine just got really exciting over the past

(02:39:16):
ten fifteen years. It's gotten veryexciting. Yes, but you have a
lot of stress in your life.You're going through a custody battle with this
young one. Now, well,you know what it's. It's that's not
stress. That's got to be stressed. I don't leave you, No,
I love that woman, I lovemy child, I love my I don't
have It's how you show up,right, Everything is a test on how

(02:39:41):
you show up. Nothing's happening tome. Everything's happening for me. I'm
not angry about that. I don'tcare. I want I'm a man,
I want nothing more than to takecare of my children. I want nothing
more than to make sure they're providedfor, make sure their mothers are provided
for, because that's important to meas a man, as the quality of
man I am. I don't Iwon't sleep at night knowing that they're not

(02:40:03):
you know that they're in the struggle. But it's still like they sue you
for custody or whatever, child supportor that. But to me would stress
me out? That it's not stressful. No, that's between the lawyers to
hand out. Is that what itboils down to, Like you get these
lawyers and they're like, do youthink it could amicably work something out with
your ex or whatever? And thelawyers he's like, oh, well he

(02:40:24):
has money and you should do thisand you should do that. Are they
the ones pulling the strings in situations? I think it's it depends on if
your strings are attached to the lawyersin that way. It all depends on
the person that you are. Idon't let that bother me. None of
that bothers me. That's between thelawyers, and that's between them, and
you know, at the end ofthe day, you know we were great
friends and you know we're still gonnahopefully maintain that. But the baby needs

(02:40:50):
love, and I'm always going toshow up as love. We just took
the baby to Disney World, youknow. We still take the baby to
you know, dinner or whatever.Something. Still get along with the ex.
He have to show up, man, you have to show up.
It's not about war. No childdeserves to be brought up in war.
They need love. Whatever I needto be, however, I need to
be whatever kind of water I needto be to love my child. I

(02:41:13):
will love them, and I willlove their mothers too, because they're half
for you. And if you can'tlove the mother, it's very hard.
You only love half the child.I only like the side that looks like
me, not only like your noseand your feet, the rest of you.
You go tohea with your mama,I don't. That's not me right.
So everything is a test on howyou show up. And I'm gonna
show up and be my best me. I'm gonna text you when your mother

(02:41:37):
passed and be like, hey,now you don't know me. You're gonna
be a war. This is youwant this money. I want a white
mind. But with your check,your custody check, I would see I
don't know. Man, Maybe Ijust to me like, I don't deal

(02:41:58):
with that kind of stress and thatkind of I would be going berserk if
I'm paying through the nose. Idon't eighteen thousand dollars a month child support
and they go I want more,I go. I would be jumping out
of the chair going what I can'teven say on the radio, what I
would want to do or whatever.I just so you must. But again

(02:42:20):
it's your how much wiseer you arenow, you would add a different reaction
if you were twenty four. I'veseen people go through this. That's the
beauty of being the baby. I'vewatched my brothers and my family. I
watch my uncles, I watch people. I've had a lot of friends go
through this. And I sat thereand I watched, and I just go,

(02:42:43):
if that happened to me, thisis how I'm going to show up
because I see what the other sidedoes. I see what happens when you
don't like your your children's mother,and you guys are at war, and
you know, even though you knowyou you club the king, it separately,
it affects the kids. I careabout my child, and I'm not

(02:43:05):
gonna I'm not a child. I'ma grown ass man and that's how I'm
gonna represent myself. And no,of course I don't want my business in
the street, and of course Idon't want to go go to court.
But if that's what you feel isnecessary and you need this structure, you
know, I'm not gonna. I'mnot gonna be mad at you. I'm
gonna I'm gonna hold you in highregard. I don't I don't appreciate that,

(02:43:26):
but I love you and I forgiveit, and we move on and
what's next because at the end ofthe day, we got you know,
we got Christmas coming up, youknow what I mean. I still send
you flowers on Mother's days, sendyou get from your birthday. You know
you want to me and AX willtake you to dinner. Like I'm love
man, I'm always gonna be love. That's who I am. You don't

(02:43:46):
know who you are until you're tested, then you show up. It's easy
to be be be you when everythingis good, what kind of you when
things are bad? And that iswho you are as a person. And
also the French stick with you throughthings that are bad. That's he kind
of know who Yeah, well yourgood friends or who shows up. That's

(02:44:07):
the other thing. I show up. You always show up, you know,
for my family, my uncle,watching my uncle, he always showed
up everywhere. He would, myuncle Garrett. He'd be like I would
be in college with his daughter andhe'd be like, Chrissy, and he'd
be like, come on, punk, we're gonna eat. And he would
take me to Marriotte for a brunchbuffet because he loved that buffet that all

(02:44:28):
you can eat. He would eatit all. He would eat it all.
He'd be up there like six seventimes and he'd be like, how
school, and he would ask mequestions and then you know, and I
didn't realize how important that moment wasfor me. And I always had my
dad, but it was nice tohave my uncle. It was like a
security blanket to come check on me. And that's how I am with every

(02:44:52):
last single nephew, niece, andI got like fifty five nephews and nieces.
I try to show up for everylast single one of them and love
every last single sister and family memberbecause that completes my life. And that's
I show up for my kids,right It is important for the kids.
And it's like if you don't haveyour dad orund like I had a single
mother, my dad, I didn'tknow my dad. I turned out okay,
But I want to hug you gosh, No, But I mean these

(02:45:15):
kids, who do you see textyou when your dad dies? But you
see, if you don't have afather figure, a male figure in your
life or somebody you know, anuncle, a grandfather or whoever it's,
you see why these kids they endup rotten ass kids because they don't have

(02:45:35):
anyone disciplining them. They don't havea male to look up to to set
an example of what they're supposed todo. Right, So lucky me,
right, Yeah, I'm not justmy my my dad, who was an
awesome provider and man with a greatsoul and tethered like nailed us to God,
you know what I mean. LikeI say, God a lot.

(02:45:56):
And as you get older, you'regoing to meet them because you're gonna need
them because you go through these thingsand you're like, wow, oh,
because your's life. My life startedfeeling like biblical stories and I'm just like,
you know, wow, Like I'mgoing to write a book, book
of Marlin, and it's about allthe worst stuff that I went through and
what lesson and what comedy I gotfrom those lessons. It was actually the

(02:46:18):
show was going TV show was gonnado. But now turn into book.
Marlon Wayne's is here, by theway. He's gonna be at the Funny
Bone tonight. Two shows tried,two shows tomorrow night. Marlon wayne'sofficial dot
com for the tickets. She canwrite a book. Yeah, get all
my all your pain right, allmy pain has written me great specials.
Like I'm telling you, I'm gettingI'm getting better at this because life has

(02:46:41):
gotten real tricky. But how luckyam I that I have all these great
examples? My father, my brothers. You know how how lucky? I
always say the word, Well,my brothers were my father's they were I
had four fathers. My brothers weregreat big brothers. My sisters with great
big sisters some of them. Butand my mother. I was loved.

(02:47:07):
So how can I not show upas the best version of myself as much
as I can? I have noexcuses. I was raised by a village
of great people, and I'm goingto show up as the best person to
represent all the efforts they put in. I'm going to show up in my
life with a smile and be thebest person I could be towards others?

(02:47:31):
What have you? So? Wetalked about all the movies you've been in
doing comedy for so long. Whathave you not accomplished yet that you want
to do? If if I said, hey, I got a budget for
you to do a project or whatever, or you know what, you can
do whatever you want, what wouldyou do that you haven't done yet?

(02:47:52):
Everything I want like, I wantto be I want to be one of
those I want to be one ofthose guys. I haven't never had a
hot moment. I've been here forthirty years. I've never had the moment
where they're like, I'm gonna chuseyou. You're gonna be the guy.
We're gonna put all our money behindyou because we know that you're gonna sell

(02:48:15):
this movie internationally worldwide. I'm theunderrated guy that has been around for thirty
two years and has gotten better overtime, and I think the moment is
coming where it's just like, oh, that guy, he's the of course
he's the guy. Because I thinkI'm multifaceted. I have this skill set

(02:48:37):
that not a lot of people have. I can act, I could write,
I could produce I can. Ican do comedy, I could do
drama, I can do characters.I could. I am a well versed
artist because my whole journey has beenabout learning different facets and how to be
great in logging hours in ten thousandhours in like six different disciplines within my

(02:49:01):
industry. So I think I'm justworking to get to the point where I'm
credible in every last single genre thatI want to do. If I want
to do drama, if I wantto do action, if I want I
want to be the guy with oneof the top ten guys to get the
best scripts and the chance to workwith the best directors, so I could
google give the best performance and Icould get the best budgets, with the

(02:49:24):
most support scene, I could Isell this hell out of it. So
you've been doing this for a longtime, and you're not like a guy
who's a You're not a big player. You're not a guy who's like you
know, you don't have I mean, think of all the stuff you've done,
written, like you said, written, Predier is directed all these movies,
big movies, big movies. Whydo you think that this moment that

(02:49:46):
you're searching for hasn't come yet becausethat moment I'm searching for. If I
really look at it, I'm stillin the moment. I've always been in
the moment, and what I've beenlooking for I have been for thirty two
years or maybe my whole life.My whole life is the moment. So

(02:50:07):
when you're looking toward that thing thatkeeps like escaping you, and you really
look at the moment, I don't. It's not about wanting that moment.
I've had this wonderful journey trying toget to that moment, and I think
everything is preparation and God, Iwasn't ready for that moment. And when

(02:50:33):
that moment happens, that means thatmoment. I'm prepared for that moment.
I've been preparing for that moment.But the reality of that moment is It's
like there's a book called The Alchemist. It's my little boy that wants to
see the Pyramids. He never seesthe pyramids. At the end of the
day, never sees the pyramids.It goes through all this stuff and never

(02:50:54):
sees the pyramid. But at theend of the the end of the book,
he's on the journey trying to thepyramid, And what that says about
the success is that success is nota destination. Success is a road that
we travel. I'm grateful that I'mstill walking toward my destination. And if
I never see the pyramids, Ihad a damn good time just trying to

(02:51:18):
find a when you all right?So let me ask you when, because
maybe you sound like you put alot of thought into life. When you
see somebody have, as you say, a moment they become the guy they
become. They have a hot moment, do you look at it and go,
this guy, this guy, areyou for real him? Do you

(02:51:39):
ever get angry somebody else is havingthat and you go that guy sucks or
whatever. No, I get happyfor that person because that are a better
person than I am. Because Ilike that. I'm happy for him because
they're their birth. They found thebest version of themselves. If a smart

(02:52:01):
person looks at that and goes,how did they get there? Right?
And you really look at the lookat what they did right. Everybody always
wants to break people down what theydo wrong, No, that's unimportant.
Its important is what did they doright? And that's what I want to
mimic, And that's what I wantto, because you're not gonna be somebody
else. You can only be yourbest you. I'm trying to be the

(02:52:24):
best, the biggest, greatest MarlonWayans that I could be. And whether
that takes me, I don't careif it's the biggest box office star,
the greatest comedian that ever lived,I don't know where it takes me.
I'm just every day trying to bethe best me as a man, an
artist, a person that I couldbe a businessman. And I've learned a

(02:52:46):
lot watching people be successful and getthat moment and what they do with it,
And so I sit there and go, everything's a lesson. I'm lucky
and I'm grateful, and I'm I'mgonna get there. I'm gonna be the
biggest Marlon Wayns. I love toseeing while you were saying that, I
made me think of a question thatI want to ask you. But let
me take a take a quick break. We'll come back and wrap it up

(02:53:09):
with Marlon Wayness. Who's gonna beat the Funny Bone Tonight two shows?
Tomorrow night two shows. Marlon wayne'sofficialdot com for tickets, and make sure
you check my special God Good Griefon Amazon Prime all right, as you
were telling me this just a minuteago, I said, here's one question
I want to ask Marlon, Solet me come back. We'll ask that

(02:53:31):
question. We'll be right back onRover's Morning Glory. Hand would they say
nobody wants to work anymore? Hey, but we didn't want to work before
either. That's why we got intoradio due Welcome back to Rovers Morning Glory.

(02:53:52):
Marlon Wayns is here and he's goingto be at Funny tonight two shows
and tomorrow two shows. Marlon Wayne'sMarlon Wayne's Official conference tickets. The question
I wanted to ask you we're talkingall about life stuff things like that.
Did you get in trouble because youain't been saying nothing? You got got

(02:54:13):
discipline? Yeah, someone tried tocancel. Someone tried to cancel. What's
the uh you're talking about all thegrowth you've had as a person and in
your career and whatever. What's thebiggest mistake you've made in your life?
That was a question that popped intomy head. If you have one regret

(02:54:33):
or the biggest mistake that you've madein your life, what is it that,
uh, the biggest regret? Comingon the show. No, that's
the deep question, because I mean, there's rare things that I regret,
and so I think, uh,let me see what what I think?

(02:55:00):
Maybe my only regret would be thatI didn't I wasn't mature enough to marry
my my first chosen's mother because shewas honestly like a golden woman, and
I just wish I was more mature, and I regret that for my my

(02:55:24):
my kids. But I also realizedI would have been divorced because of the
boat, and I had a tornfamily. But just honestly, like you
know, as a man, yousit down. She was a great woman,
So I probably regret that. Doyou still communicate with her? You're
still your best friends? You couldyou guy? Could you rekindle a relationship?

(02:55:50):
Do you think? No? Shemay stab me in my sleep?
You were that's a dumb ass man. Who's the guy who's the comedian?
Why would you? Why would youdo that? Who's the guy was on
a boat? Plus the Facebook?I taught Harry Spears, he got married,

(02:56:13):
got a divorce, married the samewoman. What do you drinks a
lot? You know? I meanwe were talking during the commercial break.
We're talking about all sorts of crazy. We you mentioned Chappelle. Uh,
we were just kind of in hereshooting crap. What do you think So

(02:56:37):
now you have a daughter that transitioneduh from uh female, now it's a
son kai. Uh, what doyou think about Chappelle got a lot of
heat for transgender stuff and whatnot andhis stand up. What do you think
about that? Is it fair game? And you've said in the past,
you know, comedy if you youI think you said, if I saw

(02:57:01):
you say, if I'm making funof you, it's because I love you,
absolutely flatter. Comedy is the greatestform of flattery, Like mockery is
flattery when you do it and youdo it right right. We did a
movie called White Chicks. Man.These Twitter people and X people and Instagram
they've been trying to cancel us forwhite chicks. Well, I can't tell

(02:57:24):
you how long you can't. Here'swhy, when you do a joke,
you should try to make the peoplethat you're talking about laugh the loudest white
chicks. You know why people youcan't cancel us for white chicks. You
don't love white chicks the most whitechicks, right, So it's just how

(02:57:48):
we tell the jokes the waynses havebeen doing this years. You know,
when we did men on films,you know, two gay guys on that
gay people love the men on films. When we do it, we do
with kids' gloves. And I thinksometimes and especially with I think, and
I tell my daughter, and Chappelleis a dear friend of mine. I
love Dave. Dave is, youknow, not just a dear friend,

(02:58:09):
but he's like to me, somebodyI look to like, you know,
and respecting comedy, like, yo, he's brilliant. And so I tell
my child, I was like,listen, at the end of the day,
he's a comedian. I'm a comedian. You may not laugh at everything
that we're saying, but you gotto respect comedy just the way we have

(02:58:33):
to respect you know, your community. But doesn't mean there's not something funny
here, right. I think whenit came to Dave, I think a
lot of it was misunderstood. Ifyou look at the special he was trying
to come from a good place.And sometimes when I tell my child,
I'm like, listen, don't beso sensitive, because then you take an
ally and you turn them into anenemy. What he was because just because

(02:58:56):
there was pockets that was you know, jokes or offensive, and you have
to go to offensive places in darkplaces in order to get this thing called
a laugh, and the elixir,the elixir is the laugh. So yeah,
you may not like all the stuffthat's being said, but you have

(02:59:16):
to understand the intention. And whathis intention was was not to beat them
up. He was actually trying toempower and he was trying to say,
Hey, I knew this person andwhat we went through, and you don't
know my experience, and you know, and I think some of it is
like just being misunderstood. I knowDave's heart, and you know, I

(02:59:37):
know Dave's never said anything crazy tome about you know, like he's had
transphobic oh case. Dave is acomedian. And what Dave stood on was,
I'm a comedian and I have everyright to have an opinion and every
right to tell my jokes, andyou won't silence or muzzle me. I

(02:59:58):
this is my job, and ifyou let me do it and do it
correctly, I can be an assetto the community. And and I listen,
He's allowed to say what he wants, right, He's a comedian,
and you don't have to agree witheverybody everything that everyone says, and by
the way, median before I'm afather, I'm a comedian, right,
so my kids, I love y'all. But if you don't think, I'm

(03:00:22):
gonna have some jokes about you,and I'm your father, so imagine somebody
else who ain't your father. He'syeah, You're gonna have jokes, and
it is good. Don't be sosensitive. People are gonna say offensive things
like like you know, like withwith your daughter transitioning, like I saw
video. You know somebody, Ohyou you misgendered me? You this,

(03:00:46):
that and the other whatever, andit's like, yeah, and big deals.
So what you're not gonna get Everyoneon your side are gonna be here.
You're gonna run I run into Dick'severy day. You're gonna I'm offended
by people every day. I got. This guy is a due but right,
it's so what I live with it. You like to live with that,
that's it. Don't be so sensitive. That's what I try, you
know, I think, because likeI said, sensitive people could sometimes you

(03:01:09):
could turn an ally into an enemy. And you know, he's a great
voice. And there's a lot ofgreat comedians with great voices, and you
know, you got to let thembe them now, speaking a sensitive people.
Yeah, you did a whole Youhad a lot of material on Will
Smith and you were on one ofhis shows. I'm on air. Mean,

(03:01:31):
Actually, here's that once again.I I'm an equal opportunity offender,
right, and I come from agood place. If I would have did
that special and it was all aboutthat, I'm pretty sure I would have
got a call from Chris Rock,I would have got a call from Jada

(03:01:52):
Pinkett, I would have got acall from Will Smith. All of them
have my number. They know me. I've grew up in Hollywood, they
know me on the Baby Wayans,They've known me my whole life. I
did mine with kids' gloves, andI was completely honest and transparent, and
it wasn't about them. That reallywas about me, and it's what I
knew them and how I knew them, And so I think it was done

(03:02:16):
in a way. I wasn't attackingthem. I was just telling the funny
truth and it was it was AndI think that's how you know it's a
good joke, because my goal wasto make all three of them laugh the
loudest, and I hope I did. And if I accomplished that, if
they would watch that, and theylast and now all of them been on
tours, They've been on podcasts,They've been on promotional tours. Jada had

(03:02:39):
a book tour. All that happened, nobody ever mentioned. None of the
three mentioned My Special and said thatit was offensive. And everybody that knows
us was like, you handled thatin a great way. That was really
funny. But it was, youknow, and even some of their friends
was like, it was really funWere you worried when you did it?

(03:03:01):
Were you worried that maybe they won'tI mean, got obviously you want them
to, you know, you don'twant to lose any friends or relationship or
whatever the case might be. Youweren't worried about it at all. No,
No, because I know, Iknow my heart, I know why
I did it. I did itwith kids, gloves and I wish them
all the best. And Jada wasmy great friend. I love Will.

(03:03:22):
I love Chris Chris, I knowsince I was eleven, like seriously,
like, these these are my friends, these people I love. And when
you show it live, I mean, did you watch it with the sketch?
I was like I thought it wasa sketch. Yeah, And then
I've seen tears Will up in Chris'seyes. That was real. He stood
on the last couple of things hewas saying. I was like, wait,

(03:03:43):
he's trying to get his mind andlook. I text them both.
I text Chris right after that happened, and I was like, hey,
you okay, what stay is yourfacing? And I hit Will and I
was like, Yo, congrats youknow party tonight. Enjoy your night,
brother. I'm so proud of you. But Monday, you better sit your
ass in therapy. I needed youto sit with a therapist, guru.

(03:04:07):
I need you to get some eyewilds guy, I needed you to find
a meaning behind that slap because thatwas crazy. Just and and and,
Like I said, if Will wouldhave been mad, if I would have
got calls they all have my number, I would I just did two more
episodes of bel Air this this year. I want to I'm pretty sure if
he replaced Aunt Viv, he wouldhave replaced Tell him some lights, turn

(03:04:31):
to Jesse Williams and somebody lights kintherapy. You you go to therapy.
I heard you go to therapy twicea week. Because I try to go
sometimes two times a week, butI stay in it. I try once
a week and sometimes I do itonce a week with two therapists. I
have a male and a female therapist, uh Delena and and Rodney uh and

(03:04:58):
and and he and I I becauseI was in like a couple's co parent
and therapy. And then she leftand so I was just like, well,
I like having both your voices,so I'm gonna keep you both like
see, I don't know. Andagain, this is this is a flaw
of mine. I'm not saying youknow, this is this is I understand.

(03:05:20):
I know my flaws. I knowwhat's wrong with me. I don't
know if I could go to therapy. I've never been to therapy. Is
you like you like that old You'rethe old head. You don't want to
change. You're like I, Ilike this, and this is the way
I like things, the way Ilike the temperature, like this. You
don't want to You're like an oldwoman like I don't want to change.

(03:05:41):
I like this. No, Idon't know. I wouldn't much here.
You talk about getting out of yourcomfort. This was out of this would
be out of my comfort. Goodemoting to somebody, giving, like opening
up, It's not something I'm I'mgood at. I can do it right
here, I can do it onthe show. I can open up and
kids. No, you should goto therapy. Here's the thing. Everything

(03:06:05):
is preparation, right, be yourbest you when you finally have kids and
you finally have these little things,try to have it all figured out as
much as you can. My wifedoesn't want to have kids. I like
kids. I would I would loveto have che She's just like, I
don't want She just looks at meand he won't get therapy. My kids

(03:06:26):
will me. But the therapy andwhat you're gonna find. And if you
go to therapy, go to couplestherapy. It's good to learn new things.
It's good to try new ways oflife. It's good to to to
learn something advice or things like Andit's not like they give you advice.
You just by talking figuring yourself yourselflike oh that's why, I'm like that,

(03:06:50):
that's why. And it's like,oh my god, I have issues
with my dad that I even thinkI had, and it's affected me in
this way. And then you startapologiz guys into people like I'm sorry I
do that to you, and here'swhy I do that to you. And
I'm I'm going to work on notdoing that anymore. And that's a lie.
But at least you try, andit's good to see the effort and

(03:07:11):
you want to be I want tobe as good as I can be in
life period. Not just as anartist, you know, but you know,
as a person man, and Ias a father and as a loved
one and a brother. I'm alot of different roles in people's lives.
If you bring up God a lot, are you religious? I know you
grew up Jehovah. I'm not religious. I just know God and I love
him and I appreciate. I knowit's real. I appreciate everything that I've

(03:07:37):
been through and I'm I'm grateful I'mstill here and and I'm grateful to God
for that. Were your parents likevery I know they were just everything was
in the book. My father toldme before he passed. He said,
if you ever need me, I'mright there in that book. If you
ever want to talk to me,I'm right there in that book. You
know, you know my God andyou will know your father. That is

(03:08:00):
my father. And my mother waslike, oh listen, God is in
every book. So when you wantto see me, you you go read
any book and Mama's there. I'mlike, now when I read green Eggs
and ham I'm like, oh mygod, hamn backwards? Is my?
Did they get along pretty well?Like cats and dogs? This sex must

(03:08:22):
have been awesome. Yeah. Iactually saw them one time when I was
looking my dad killing the game.I was playing Hide and Go Seek and
I was in the closet and Ijust heard my dad was I never seen
a Hume's high jump, as said, the ceiling came down. I was

(03:08:46):
like, oh my god. Andthen my mother after they finished, she
was tidying up and she opened toget an ad dressed and I was in
the closet. What the hell didyou call me Jack the Ripper? And
I said? She said, whywas you in here? I was like,
we was playing Hide and Go Seekand I hit it in your closet
and she was like, And Isaid, what was you and dad doing?

(03:09:09):
And she said, huh, shewas sweeping up the room. I
said, what was y'all doing?And she said we was We was just
arguing. I said, naked.She said, yeah, so here.
I am in fifth grade and no, I was in I was in I
was five years old. I wasin kindergarten, and I went to kindergarten.
No, it was yes kindergarten,Miss Little's class. And so I

(03:09:31):
went to school and I told thegirls, I said, we're gonna get
naked and we're gonna argue. I'msurprised you Min didn't say like this,
what the hell when she discovered whenshe when she opened the closet door to
get up, she said, justlike that, with that inflection, she
said, what the hell? Whatyou're doing in there? Creep Jack the

(03:09:54):
ripple Jeffrey has amazing time. Myguy Jeffrey back there, you knows,
want to chime in with the relevantcomment. Yeah, so they did.
They argued all the time. Doyou think that they had an effect?
Like people see that that's what theytaught us comedy. I tell you I

(03:10:16):
my wife and I were talking aboutpuff Daddy pe Diddy whatever whatever his name
is, and we were talking aboutwell and he said, obviously in the
news, you know everything that's goingon with him, of course, and
I'm you know, first of all, when that stuff started coming out,
I go, I don't know,I don't know if I believe I was
just like man, thank God,because I'm tired of my business being in

(03:10:37):
the news. Oh my god,yeah you guys every week. Well,
thank god we got another story.I can get back on my United flights.
So I go, I don't know, I don't know if. And
then of course this video comes out. He's beating this girl. You go,
okay, well that's that's that's notgood. And then I had a

(03:10:58):
conversation my wife and maybe I'm tooI don't want to say forgive it,
because I'm not excusing what he did, you know, anything like that,
but I when people do stuff insteadof trying to immediately persecute them, I
go, well, is what happened? How did this happen? And I
said, you know this guy fromwhat I know of him, and I

(03:11:22):
don't know personally, but here thepretty rough upbringing. His dad was not
like a great guy. And youknow you have And I go, when
you see this, when this isyour environment, when you're raised in an
environment, this is what you know, this is how you turn out.
And I'm not excusing that behavior.Obviously we all saw that, but that's

(03:11:43):
when you're when you're a child,right, And I think two things.
I think we first of all,we live in an unforgiving society, and
I think that's sad for society.I think we've become so I don't know,
we all have God complexes like nobodycould do no wrong, Like we're
not living in people. We shouldalways hold space to forgive, just as

(03:12:07):
individuals, no matter what somebody does, right, we hold a little bit
of space and we pray that theygrow and grow beyond uh the person that
they've been. And there's no excusesfor that kind of behavior, but they
are. And it's not that youforgive it, but those people got to
do the work, you know.I just I pray at this point,

(03:12:28):
you know, work, whatever's happeningis all God and he's whatever uh trials
and tribulations he's gonna encounter. It'shis talk with him and God. And
now you got to pay the piperand you and God's gonna sit down.
I hope you do the work.I hope you go to therapy. I

(03:12:50):
hope you really get in prayer andreally and I you know, I hold
space and hope for people to bebetter because society needs and at the same
time, because I don't think anywoman should ever be treated in that way.
But you know, I still holdspace that and I tell people we
live in an unforgiving society and weneed to stop just sending people to jail.

(03:13:13):
They we need remediation. Jail doesn'tdo anything for you, doesn't help
you become a better person, youknow. I think we should fix people
therapy, things like that. Andwhat if jail happens, You know,
that's where God wants you to bethedn't find your therapy there, find your
space there, but allow this experienceto make you better. But that's why
I'm saying, like your kids,like if you you know, so he

(03:13:35):
had a you know, you canruin your kids if you're if you do
things in life as a bad parentor whatever. And I'm you know,
when if you see your parents arguingall the time, that probably had an
effect on relationships as you get intobecause you go, it's normalized. You
don't know any different, definitely,And if he's seeing people beat women or
whatever, yes, that's the wayit is. And then my wife,

(03:13:58):
she did have a good point,she said, yeah, I get all
that, but here's if one guyin the world could get therapy or whatever
in order to fix themselves, todo the work, this guy has every
opportunity over the past twenty thirty yearsor whatever in order to do that.
So, yeah, she's it,doesn't you know, not as forgiving as

(03:14:20):
I might be. I guess,well she's a woman and you know,
and and and look what what whatwe saw wasn't That wasn't fun. That
was I know. I know Puff. I've known Puffs since college, right,
so, like I've been to hishouse, I know his kids,
I know his children, I knowyou know, might have even gone to
the same school. Yeah, soI always hold you know, I pray

(03:14:43):
for I pray for everybody involved.I pray, you know, I pray
for you know, the women up. But you know, I pray that
he gets help and that he getsyou know, better, and that you
know, I hold space and prayfor that brother. Now kids, I
pray for you know, I knowhim. I'm not gonna throw him under
a bus. But I've never seenI know them all the time, I

(03:15:05):
never seen I never seen the mactlike that. That was a shocked to
me. I was like, Puff, I was like, I ain't know
that. I was like, ohno, that must have been Sean Combs.
That was that was Diddy, thatwas you know what I'm saying that
I think he seen that and tolook back at it, and you can
look at look at his eyes.You know he's he's going through it.

(03:15:26):
But this is between him and God, and I don't I'm not gonna.
I'm I can't throw him completely undera bust, you know like that,
because I know him, you knowwhat I'm saying. So when you know
people, you deal with it differently. And I know Cassie and you know
what I mean. I pray forher. I'm like, wow, I
ain't know none of this was happening. If I've seen out of pulling him

(03:15:46):
side, like give me, howat you for a second, bro,
You you can't do that. Iwould give him my goodness, you know
what I'm saying. And I don'tthink you kick people when they down.
And I think sometimes you just mindyour damn business too, because you know,
if I can't speak on it,I just know for me as an
individual, I don't lay my handson women. That's not the way I
was raised my father. My mothercursed my father out every day so much

(03:16:11):
so that man, it was timebeing my brother just wish oh he would
hit her one time. Oh man, this is a body shut up.
But my father never did. Myfather and that's an example. And that's
why I say I have to showup good because I've had good examples.
My father never laid a hand onmy mama, not one, and that

(03:16:33):
to me. One day we askedmy father, like, why don't you
hit her? My father said tome, he said, because, son,
if I hit your mother, myfather, who is God, will
frown upon us and frown upon thataction, and our family will be cursed.
He said, I have five boys, and I've ever hit your mother.

(03:16:56):
I'm sending a resounding message to myfive boys is that it is okay
for you to lay your hands ona woman, and my son, it
never is. And those words stickwith me and my actions, and that
I'm a father and that my childrennever see me in that way. I
don't even yell at the mothers.I don't argue. I walk away,

(03:17:18):
I gather my thoughts. I'll comeback and I have a discussion because I
have no excuses. I have toshow up as the best version of me,
because there's a karma and God comesfor you. And I'm trying to
hear him before he yells at me, because when he has to yell at
you man, it's bad. SoI just show up and be my best
me, and I pray for everybodyto be their best selves. And you

(03:17:41):
know this kid's involved right as well. You know, everybody just looks all
he's a mogo, he's this.No this young boys, there is you
know this justin this is Christian ishis daughters, Like you don't think like
there's a family there that is dealingwith stuff and here we are lighting fires
and this and that, And allI could do is sit there and pray

(03:18:01):
for all them that that that they'reokay, you know, and that that
he gets better because he needs tobe for his family and for himself and
for young black men all across theworld that need that kind of example.
And maybe this is a great examplethat you know, this is what can
happen to you if you don't gettherapy, if you don't do the work.
Everything is an example. Do youthink it's unfair, like when you

(03:18:22):
say young black man, like whenWill Smith we were talking about that slaps
him. Do you think that he'sit Is it different because he's a black
man? Is it more you thinkthe reaction was any different? Or do
you think there's more like how couldyou do this? This is your year
of representative. I think we livein an unforgiving society that just because you're

(03:18:45):
a hero, it means that youdon't have hurt, you don't have damage,
you don't have trauma. Read Will'sbook, Will Got trauma. You
know like what I said, Hey, brother, good at therapy. Enjoy
your night, but good at therapy. You know, good to therapy.
But they're still human. Just becauseyou're a celebrity, just because you got
money, just because everything looks perfect, it doesn't erase the trauma that you've

(03:19:09):
had in your life. And youdon't know when you're gonna have a mental
break. People have mental breaks andbreakdowns, and what we're we witness is
clearly Will, what happened with Will? That was a that was a breakdown
and really was I was. Iwas like, oh my god, I
was. I was like like seriously, like are you okay? You know

(03:19:31):
what I'm saying, Like nobody goesare you okay? You know what I
mean? Like, you know,are you happy? Once? They if
we have such a hard society andeverything is so concrete, are we happy
when that person that we love thatdid that action when they commit suicide because
of the guilt or the pain thatAre we happy now? Are we happy

(03:19:56):
now? Or are we just creatingmore trauma for more people to deal with.
We have to hold space for forgiving. We have to hold space for
prayer. And you forget the peoplethat just broke into your house. And
I forget already already already shaw onthe news. You just get your home,
was just right. I forgave themalready. I don't own are a

(03:20:16):
better person. I'd be out therehunting those people the guns. I would
have shot them with you. Idon't own nothing. I don't I don't
have I don't have cash, Idon't. This is the only jewelry I
got. You robbed the wrong dude. There's some real ballers in that neighborhood
that we're a lot of gold.Why you want to rob the Brookes?

(03:20:37):
Do you think you were targeted orthey just pick a random harm A nice
No. I tell you I don'thave nothing. Maybe I stuck getting something.
So when they do rob me,I make a rob a man.
This negro ain't got nothing. Sothey break it in your house two thirty
in the morning through a window orwhatever. They break a window, they
go in. You're not there,you weren't at home. I guess traveling

(03:21:00):
or whatever. Immediately you know whatI did? What's that? Set a
prayer? Yeah, grateful to God. Thank you for me not being there.
Thank you because that's protection. Thankyou for my children not being there.
Thank you that nobody was hurt.I didn't care about it. Thank
you. If nothing was stolen,I didn't care. You're the only guy
that I know that, and you. Thank God for it. I thank

(03:21:24):
God, Thank God I wasn't hurt. I thank god I wasn't home.
If I'm home and I hear that, I'm immediately grabbing my shotgun and I'm
shooting people and I'm not asking youno questions. And now I have to
deal with the news Marlon Wayne shootsthree people that broke into his home.
Now Marlon Wayne's has to live withthe fact that he shot three people,

(03:21:45):
and that is all my conscience forthe rest of my life. That will
shift my conscience. I'm grateful thatI was not there. God is great.
Let me ask you one last questionthat will wrap it up. Marlon
Wayne's gonna be at the Funny Bontonight. Two shows tonight two shows tomorrow
you talk about you're thankfully you didn'thave to shoot the people. You've been

(03:22:07):
in entertainment a long time. Atrial that's going on right now. Alec
Baldwin is on trial for shooting thatcinematographer in that movie. Everyone knows the
story. They're filming a scene.He's pointing the gun right out, you
know, gun goes off, shootsor unfortunately she dies. We've had a
lot of discussion on this show numeroustimes as this is wound its way through

(03:22:28):
the news, and I say,I forgot about that. Alec Baldman must
have been real happy when the diddystill happened. They're gone. I said,
I don't think that he should beresponsible for this, because when somebody
hands in all these you know,I have a bunch of guns, but
all these gun though, oh,you need to check the gun, you
need to do this, you needto do that. But when you're on

(03:22:50):
a movie set and you have anarmorer, a professional, and they give
you a gun, you've been onmovie set. They give you a gun,
you assume you're an actor. Youassume you're not a you're not a
you know, maybe you specifically knowa lot about guns. I don't know,
but some people don't. I don'tknow how you hold him responsible for

(03:23:13):
that? What do you just fromsomebody? I think many movies. I
think, what do you think crazythe hell hold them responsible for that?
That man didn't mean that, hedidn't mean to shoot that person. That
that that was just a freak accident, you know what I mean. It's
like I checked and triple check myguns. I look for the light coming
through, I look at the ammunition. I make sure make sure that the

(03:23:33):
gun is not loaded, to thebest of my ability. But when something
like that happens, I don't ifit was that I didn't do it on
purpose. I didn't load the gun. I didn't put a real slug in
there, like I didn't. Nobodymeans to do that, you know.
And and I don't think he shouldbe responsible now and they had. I

(03:23:54):
think there's a dumby bullet that theyput in there. So even if you
look at it, this supposed tobullet from a real bullet, like it's
it's completely I just think I prayfor the family, right, I pray
that I hope the family has forgiveshim, you know what I mean that
this you know that her husband oryou know that. You know that's scary.

(03:24:15):
I just did a movie in Albuquerquewith guns, and I checked the
thing over and over again. Ichecked that chamber because I never wanted to
do that to somebody, you knowwhat I mean? Was it different?
Is it different on a movie setnow, like after that accident takes place,
a person gets shot. Has anythingchanged from movies he did ten years?
I wish Alec Baldwin was in myhouse when the robbers came, taking

(03:24:37):
care of that problem right away,bully, But he wouldn't mean all right,
Marlon Wayne's gonna be the Funny Bonetonight. Two shows tonight, two
shows tomorrow night as well Marlon wayne'sofficialdot com for the tickets. Marlin,
it's always good having you. Thankyou man. My first podcast. I

(03:25:00):
hope they on the first podcast experienceyou busted my chir well. I'll never
forget it. Really, he wastelling me, he goes, this is
like the only I know my radiostations go crazy because we go over and
we go to long Jesus Christ.I didn't realize how later on you interviewed
me for a whole day. Yeah, dinner time, all right, it
is I gotta wrap the show up. Marlin, thank you for coming in.

(03:25:20):
We will be back live on Mondaymorning. Have a great day.
Yes, make sure you look outfor my tour. I'm gonna be on
tour, the Wild Child Tour.Get your tickets on Mallowayans Official dot com.
The Wild Child Tour coming to atheater near you. Make sure you

(03:25:41):
get your last special on Amazon Prime. Good Grief on Amazon Prime. There
you go. And if you haven'theard it, also in this movie called
White Chicks, maybe you should.All right, we'll be back live Monday
morning. I have a great dayand a great weekend. It's rovers wont
to glory. Bye.