- Dan Hannigan, Sox Manager: Wacky, before I go completely batty, you've got to make me a promise. You got to stay away from dames till the Series is over.
- Announcer on Field: Now that the Hot Tamale, and she's some dish, friends, is off the field, we may see a ballgame.
- Wacky Waters: Hey, remember me? I got four kisses comin'.
- Pepita Zorita: Four? Two!
- Wacky Waters: Two, four, what's the difference; as long as, I do the countin'.
- Wacky Waters: Say, Porter, if anybody asks you, you saw me go to bed.
- Pullman Porter: Did I?
- Wacky Waters: Didn't you?
- [hands Porter a dollar bill]
- Pullman Porter: Yes, Sir! I sho did! I seen you go to bed, all right. In fact, I seen you go to sleep!
- Dan Hannigan, Sox Manager: Miss Zorita is gonna make a new picture?
- Wacky Waters: Well, sure, didn't you hear? She got a wire today. Somebody wants her for 21 nights.
- Updyke (banker): That's the name of her new picture.
- Director of Film-within-the-Film: Where are you going?
- Pepita Zorita: Well, that was the last scene in the picture, wasn't it?
- Director of Film-within-the-Film: Yes, it was, but...
- Pepita Zorita: Well, you don't need me here anymore; but, my Wacky does and I'm going back to my Wacky!
- Lou the Producer: Hello, Miss Zorita, I just...
- Pepita Zorita: Hello, goodbye.
- Lou the Producer: Goodbye?
- Spike McClouen: That ball was fair by ten feet!
- First Umpire: It was a foul.
- Wacky Waters: Spike hit the ball fair that much.
- [arms spread wide]
- Dan Hannigan, Sox Manager: Get back, Wacky.
- Wacky Waters: The guy needs a tin cup!
- First Umpire: Who needs a tin cup?
- Spike McClouen: You do, you big baboon!
- First Umpire: What'd you call me?
- Wacky Waters: Ah! The guy can't hear, he's deaf!
- Spike McClouen: Yeah, deaf, dumb, blind and silly!
- First Umpire: Say, busher, who you talkin' to?
- Spike McClouen: Busher? You can't call me busher and get away with it!
- First Umpire: I can't, huh? I'll show you what I can get away with. You're out! Both of you!
- Kitty McClouen: I don't give a darn. After eight days in this cell, I don't give a darn about anything. I can't sleep! I can't eat! I can't think! And I'm so sick of lookin' at women!
- Joan Samuels: You're no treat yourself, darling.
- Hazel Jones: You can say that again, sister.
- Dugan, the House Detective: That was a baby!
- Hazel Jones: Oh, no, no, no! That was Joan. She's very versitel. You see, she plays baby parts on the radio. Don't you, Joan.
- Joan Samuels: Wha-wha. Goo-goo.
- Dugan, the House Detective: Oh, an Indian baby. Say, you're some actress, all right!
- Imperial Hotel Bellhop: Compliments of Mr. Dugan.
- Pepita Zorita: Mr. Dugan?
- Imperial Hotel Bellhop: Yeah, the House Dick. He said you'd understand.
- Pepita Zorita: Pals? You call these snakes in the grass - pals?
- [Spike tries to leave]
- Pepita Zorita: Oh, no, you don't! You want to wait until I tell my Wacky about his pals and their terrible, terrible wives.
- Wacky Waters: Pepi, what does this mean?
- Pepita Zorita: What does it mean? Their wives are five communists! They kidnatch me and keep me in a hotel in Kansas City for two weeks.
- Hazel Jones: Hippo, where's our room?
- Hippo Jones: Right there, why?
- Hazel Jones: Do me a favor and don't ask any questions. Come on.
- Pepita Zorita: [on the phone] Get the most beautiful negligee that you have. Size 12. As quick as you can. Please! - - No, not tomorrow! I want it tonight. - - Oh. All the stores are closed? - - But, what am I going to sleep in? - - If it is any of your business, I tried that once; but, I catch cold!
- Announcer on Field: Whatever Hannigan told Wacky in the pep talk is sure workin' miracles. He's just whiffed the A's heavy hitter in three straight strikes. Boy, do they come zooming in. Zowie!
- Hazel Jones: Of all the low down graft! I'm going to write a letter to the President of the League right after the game. Did you girls have to pay for your tickets?
- Kitty McClouen: Twenty-five cents each!
- Hazel Jones: That's fine. What'll I tell Hippo about this! When I married that lard pail he promised me faithfully that I could see all the games for free of charge.
- Joan Samuels: Let's hope we're paying to see them win.
- Hazel Jones: They better! Hippo and I have already put a grant on that hash house in Kansas City and we need the World Series money to finish the payments!
- Joan Samuels: Marty and I are in the same spot with that little farm we expect to buy.
- Kitty McClouen: Well, as my Spike says, if we win, we come out in mink, if we lose, back to the sink!
- Kitty McClouen: Women are Wacky's down fall.
- Joan Samuels: I hope he wasn't out nightclubbing again last night.
- Hazel Jones: So do I. Every time he falls for a dame, his pitching average falls to pieces.
- Dan Hannigan, Sox Manager: What did you do? Just turn your little black book over to the box office?
- Wacky Waters: Dan, it's Ladies Day! Ladies Day - it's like Mother's Day, you got to do somethin' to remember 'em.
- Dan Hannigan, Sox Manager: In your case, you got to do somethin' to forget 'em.
- Dan Hannigan, Sox Manager: Isn't he enough to drive me nuts without you and your love trouble?
- Wacky Waters: It ain't love, Dan, it's - companionship.
- Dan Hannigan, Sox Manager: Companionship? Remember what happened last year when you developed a companionship with that Fan Dancer in Chicago?
- Dan Hannigan, Sox Manager: I'm not interested in movie stars. I'm only interested in you, Wacky. You're the star of baseball if you'll stay away from dames!