This story is part of our ongoing “First Steps” series, where we share extraordinary stories of men who transformed their bodies, minds, and lives with a focus on the first steps it took them to get there (because, after all, nothing can change without a first step!). Read all of the stories here.
Below, Tom Cridland, 33, shares how learning to play the piano—especially Elton John's music—helped him overcome a life-threatening drinking problem. You can also read more in Tom Cridland’s new book, Million Dollar Addict.
THE DAY WAS March 12th, 2023. My body was shaking all over. My life flashed before my eyes: incessant binge drinking sessions; countless black-outs; urinating all over myself; gorging on cheesy chips and Domino’s pizza in the early hours of the morning; failed driving tests; jobs I'd given up on after just a few weeks. A life of total fecklessness.
I wasn’t having a panic attack or enduring a life-changing hangover like I'd had a million times before. I was simply having a conversation with the man who must take the most credit for enlightening me to the first step for turning my life around: Elton John.
It all started at the University of Bristol in England in 2009. I had a nascent drinking problem—but, I was only 18 years old. At that stage of life, it's all just harmless fun, right? I was a student making friends at university, many of whom I am sure will always remain a part of my life. I met my then girlfriend, now wife, Deborah. Someone down the corridor bought the DVD of Elton’s 60th Birthday Concert at Madison Square Garden. I was gobsmacked. I fell in love with the live show pretty much immediately. It wasn’t just Elton himself who I began to idolize, but also his longtime band members, Nigel Olsson on drums and Davey Johnstone on guitar.
Fast forward to 2014. I have a full-on alcohol problem. I’ve quit my first proper job as a trainee accountant after just six weeks. I’m struggling to make rent. My life is in total disarray. The only glimmer of hope is that I’ve secured a £6,000 government start-up loan to start a clothing brand. It’s proving extremely difficult to get it off the ground. A speculative email changed all that when musical legend Nigel Olsson, Elton’s original and longtime drummer, replied. He was the king of feel—a true gentleman providing a powerful backbeat to Elton and Bernie Taupin’s songs since 1969, always wearing his trademark pair of white gloves. Nigel accepted my offer to become a brand ambassador for Tom Cridland Clothing and, as a result, the business takes off.
Over the years I became close friends with Nigel, visiting him at concerts on countless occasions. As a result, I experienced Elton John and his band live over 50 times. My connection to the music deepens. It is embedded into my heart and soul. At most of these gigs, I’m blind drunk by the end of the night, though. The clothing business might have taken off, but I’m wasting hundreds of thousands of pounds on poor decisions.
By 2017, I’m physically and mentally at my worst. Through both the sheer amount of alcohol I consumed and my vulnerable drunken state, I nearly lose my life on several occasions. I fall down the stairs at Slough train station, blood smothering my face. I’m assaulted with a cobblestone on the streets of Lisbon, which left a cut so deep across my eyebrow that it has to be stitched back together. I’m bedridden for several days after downing twenty cans of Stella Artois in a single afternoon. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
On October 13th 2017, my wife's parents saw a side to me that I tried to hide for eight whole years (truthfully, my tiptoeing up the stairs at 4 a.m. after reckless drinking sessions in London had not been as secret as I’d intended). That said, they’d never been in the company of such an unpleasant catatonic drunk as I was that night. It was my father-in-law’s 60th birthday dinner, and I destroyed it. I woke up the next day and realized this was the final straw.
Substance abuse is often caused by a lack of purpose—eliminating alcohol from my life had to mean finding mine. I replaced it with something that made me feel more alive than alcohol ever could: performing Elton’s music myself. I taught myself piano, and started playing concerts as an Elton John tribute. I felt purpose in singing the songs that have gotten me through times of happiness and of despair. With this new found hobby and the support from my wife, the urge to drink faded. I progressed from my playing first piano note to performing a concert in front of 1,500 people at McKelligon Canyon Amphitheater in Texas.
On that fateful day in March of 2023, at his annual Elton John Aids Foundation Oscars party in West Hollywood, my body shook with excitement as I was able to thank him in person for being the inspiration for my sobriety. It was a full circle moment, being able to tell him how his journey (he struggled with alcohol before becoming sober in the early '90s), and his musical creations gave me the guiding light I needed. We spoke about recovery and I was able to explain how his decades of work on overcoming his own personal problems were the blueprint that saved my life.
If you're struggling with alcohol, or addiction of any kind, looking to people you admire can often be a constructive first step. I can name many great musicians who have enough excitement and color in their lives to satisfy their souls without turning to alcohol and drugs. It doesn't need to be music, but, if you are an addict, look for something creative or simply constructive you could do to fill your soul the way your substance abuse had. This is what I looked for as to take my first step to becoming teetotal.
