HERE'S A FUN fact: Couples who clock at least 40 minutes of quality time together daily have happier, healthier relationships.
Not to brag, but I picked up that nugget back in grad school and I’ve been harping on it to all my private-practice couples ever since. Define “quality time” however you like: a peaceful stroll in the park, hot kinky sex while making a weird amount of eye contact, cooking sloppy joes together . . . anything goes as long as you’re mentally present.
Try your best, within reason, to carve out that special time every day (or week, at minimum) when you put your phones down and actually engage with each other.
I can hear you together-forever couples groaning. Eventually, every couple feels like they’ve hit a point where they know all the stuff worth knowing about the other person. But no matter how long you’ve been together, there’s always something fresh to discover.
The foundation of any great date—number one or number 1,000—is less about what you do and more about what you ask. I know this because I’m a couples therapist. My livelihood is based on helping people form stronger bonds through deep questions.
That’s not to say a date should feel like a therapy session (good God), which is why I’ve mapped out a few fun things to do, and a few starter questions for you, too.
Summer Dates That Work
TELLING COUPLES WHAT to do on dates is always weird for me because I don’t know you, but I can make a few suggestions based on your dating personality type.
8 Great Summer Date Questions
FIRST, A GENERAL rule: Don’t ask any question you aren’t prepared to answer yourself. Unfair! These move from "entry-level" questions to "whoa that's deep" questions.
How was your day?
Really! This underrated gem not only shows you’re empathetic, but it grounds you in the moment.
What do you want to do this weekend?
It assesses their need right now, whether that’s adventure, family time, or some peace of mind.
What was the last thing that made you really laugh?
This (okay, kinda corny) question roots you in the positive, fosters joy, and helps you determine which memes are important to them right now.
What’s the one thing you really want to do this summer?
Asking about aspirations can help you understand their ambitions and where you fit in (and don’t) while keeping the focus on fun.
What’s the best vacation you’ve ever been on?
This can reveal or stoke their sense of adventure and engage them in planning for a future getaway.
How would you describe, in detail, your perfect summer trip?
You’ll get insights into what would make them happy with no limits. (Plus, you’ll have a handy cheat sheet for a future trip.)
What’s your favorite summer memory from when you were a kid?
This can give you a glimpse into their ongoing family dynamics, including unresolved trauma that could manifest at a later time. Breezy fun!
Are you satisfied with life right now?
Note that “satisfied” is deeper than “happy.” And the word brings up potential dissatisfaction, which may be uncomfortable, but it’s real.
