There’s been a rising tide in fitness, arguing that any “authentic” training regimen should focus entirely on measurable, athletic improvements, and that pursuing any kind of aesthetic goal is somehow less noble, or even narcissistic. Some have even felt shamed into avoiding training routines that they would otherwise enjoy, fearful of being labelled an egomaniac for doing the odd bicep curl or dabbling with the pec deck.
At MH, we’re very much proponents of well-informed strength and conditioning. We appreciate what the rise of functional fitness has done for the community. But for a while, it seemed the pendulum had swung too far. There’s often little difference between chasing after performance goals and pursuing changes in the mirror. So long as you are happy, is a deadlift PB more meaningful than an extra inch on your arms?
Fortunately, like all tides, this one has ebbed. On the shoreline are men eager to get their pump on again. Better still, we’re learning that being as jacked as Arnie and moving like Usain Bolt aren’t mutually exclusive ideals. With clever programming, you can get swole and hit your other goals.
So then, rip off your sleeves, don your shortest shorts and knock back a pre-workout. The workouts that follow combine traditional hypertrophy with modern thinking, for a pump that pumps up your strength, mobility and general physical preparedness.
We’re in the age of functional bodybuilding, and boy is it a good time to be alive.
THE WORKOUT PLAN
Alternate between the following two workouts – an upper body focused session, and it’s lower body counterpart – for four-weeks.
Whether you train 2 times in a week, or 5, simply keep alternating between sessions, ensuring you get at least 48 hours of total recovery per week.
Aim to progressively increase the number of reps you achieve, and move onto bigger weights, where possible.
WORKOUT ONE: UPPER BODY
This session combines battle-tested bodybuilding movements with a rep scheme and rest times specifically designed to have every single muscle fibre screaming and full of blood. It’s an upper body assault would make even Arnie blush.
Work through each movement as quickly as possible whilst maintaining perfect form, performing the prescribed reps of each exercise in circuit fashion, for a total of 8 rounds. Lower your weights throughout if you have to, ensuring you hit those target reps each set, to stay firmly in the hypertrophy zone.
1) Wide Grip Pull-Up x 5
Kicking off with an old school staple to build a barn door back. Grasp a pull-up bar with an overhand grip over shoulder width apart, lift your feet from the floor, hanging freely with straight arms (A). Pull yourself up by flexing the elbows whilst pinching your shoulder blades together. Avoid swinging or using momentum. When your chin passes the bar (B), pause before lowering to the starting position.
2) Dumbbell Z-Press x 10
From the back, to the front, next up is humbling movement that will blow your shoulders up. Sit flat on the floor with legs straight and open, holding two dumbbells atop your shoulders (A). Drive the dumbbells upwards until your arms are fully locked out (B) . Lower under control.
3) Standing Dumbbell Hammer Curls x 15
Biceps are up next. Hold two dumbbells with arms hanging freely at your sides (A). With minimal momentum, curl both dumbbells upwards, until your thumbs are near your shoulders (B). Squeeze here for a one count and lower under control.
4) Bodyweight Dips x 20 reps
Finish strong with this bodyweight tricep builder that will also blast your chest. Grab two parallel bars with your palms facing inward and your arms straight (A). Slowly lower until your elbows are at right angles, ensuring they don't flare out (B). Drive yourself back up to the top and repeat.
WORKOUT TWO: LOWER BODY
There’s an old saying that says ‘you can’t shoot a cannon out of a canoe’: the biggest, strongest upper body on the planet is nothing without an equally impressive lower body to stack it on top of.
Work through each movement as quickly as possible whilst maintaining perfect form, performing the prescribed reps of each exercise in circuit fashion, for a total of 8 rounds. Lower your weights throughout if you have to, ensuring you hit those target reps each set, to stay firmly in the hypertrophy zone.
1) Goblet Split Squat x 5 (each leg)
Solidly in contention for the title of ‘king of all lifts’, the split stance variation of the almighty squat hits your quads like nothing else. Place one foot on a box around two feet behind you, hold a kettlebell with both hands close to your chest (A).
Maintain an upright torso and slowly bend your front knee, lowering your body until your thigh passes parallel to the floor (B). Stand back up explosively to the start position, repeat all reps on one leg before switching.
2) Goblet Good Morning x 10
Carrying on the theme of working front to back, it’s time to light up those hamstrings. Hold a kettlebell with both hands close to your chest (A). With a slight bend in the knees, push your hips back and slowly lower your chest towards the ground, pinching your shoulder blades back and maintaining a neutral spine (B). When you feel a stretch in your hamstrings, pause and return to the starting position.
3) Box Jump x 15
After the slow and controlled tempo of the first two movements, you’re ready to get functional and explosive. Squat in front of a box (A) and explosively jump on to the top, land with soft feet and stand up to full extension (B). Take a breath before stepping back down. Repeat, alternating legs on the step down.
4) Kettlebell Swing x 20
The last movement of the circuit, put your all into driving the kettlebell skyward for maximum gains. With the kettlebell between your legs, hinge at your hips, swinging the weight backward (A), drive your hips forward explosively allowing the bell to swing to shoulder height (B). Let momentum bring the bell back down between your legs, hinging at the hips then repeat.
With almost 18 years in the health and fitness space as a personal trainer, nutritionist, breath coach and writer, Andrew has spent nearly half of his life exploring how to help people improve their bodies and minds.
As our fitness editor he prides himself on keeping Men’s Health at the forefront of reliable, relatable and credible fitness information, whether that’s through writing and testing thousands of workouts each year, taking deep dives into the science behind muscle building and fat loss or exploring the psychology of performance and recovery.
Whilst constantly updating his knowledge base with seminars and courses, Andrew is a lover of the practical as much as the theory and regularly puts his training to the test tackling everything from Crossfit and strongman competitions, to ultra marathons, to multiple 24 hour workout stints and (extremely unofficial) world record attempts.
You can find Andrew on Instagram at @theandrew.tracey, or simply hold up a sign for ‘free pizza’ and wait for him to appear.
