Most people who file lawsuits generally do so with a clear, common objective: to win, either at trial or via a large settlement.
Silly people.
Don’t they know that the “overall objective” of civil litigation is best achieved not only by losing, but also by skipping mandatory court appearances altogether — and having the judge award legal fees to the defendant?
Thankfully, Mayor LaToya Cantrell has shown everyone how to litigate properly.
Sarcasm aside, Heronner notched a new level of bizarro on June 18 when she declined to show up for a court hearing on her own request for a restraining order against French Quarter resident Anne Breaud, whom Cantrell accused of stalking her.
Breaud’s alleged stalking, according to Cantrell, consisted of “aggressively” taking photos and videos of the mayor — in public places, no less — and sending them to a public watchdog.
Among them was a shot seen ’round the world — a pic of Cantrell and her favorite bodyguard, Jeffrey Vappie, enjoying an afternoon-long lunch on April 7, capped by what appeared to be sips of wine as the afternoon turned to evening, on a Quarter restaurant balcony.
Mayor LaToya Cantrell dines on a French Quarter balcony with NOPD officer Jeffrey Vappie on April 7, 2024.
Vappie’s ex-wife accused him in divorce filings of being Cantrell’s paramour, but he and the mayor both deny romance is the glue that binds them. Now, at last, we know they are linked gastronomically. Cheers to the hapless couple.
The Metropolitan Crime Commission, a police watchdog and frequent Cantrell critic, released Breaud’s April 7 photo of Cantrell and Vappie to the media. Citizens were duly outraged.
So was Cantrell, eventually.
The mayor responded — more than a month later — with a request for a restraining order, claiming Breaud’s habitual gumshoeing "placed me and my family in greater risk of being harmed, jeopardizing my safety especially at places I frequent."
Were that true, Cantrell would no doubt relish the opportunity to prove her point in court. However, neither Cantrell nor Vappie showed up for the June 18 hearing, even though Breaud subpoenaed both to testify.
Orleans Parish Civil Court Judge Bernadette D’Souza rightly dismissed Cantrell’s frivolous claim — and ordered the mayor to pay Breaud’s attorney’s fees.
That’s as bad a result as a plaintiff could get, short of getting tossed in the pokey for contempt of court, but Team Cantrell dutifully sent out a statement, attributed to “the City of New Orleans,” that all but claimed victory.
Consider the statement’s opener: “Today, the overall objective was achieved, bringing needed attention to the threats and aggressive behaviors toward the Mayor.”
Seriously? Cantrell felt threatened by Breaud taking photos of her and Vappie from across the street, while perched on her own Quarter balcony? And her “overall objective” was mere publicity for her taxpayer-funded pity party?
One can only imagine the Herculean effort required of Cantrell’s communications staff not to laugh out loud when New Orleans’ answer to Carmen San Diego ordered a whopper like that. It’s even more bizarre than Cantrell’s claim that Breaud “aggressively” took photos and videos of her.
Anne Breaud arrives to the Civil District Court for the legal battle with Mayor LaToya Cantrell.
Breaud is no paparazzo, Cantrell no Princess Di.
But wait. There’s more. The statement continued with breathless claims of vindication. Here’s the rest of it in its entirety:
“Given our current political climate, it was even more important that these issues were brought to light, highlighting that no one should have to endure the burden of any kind of threats or mistreatment.
“Now that this legal proceeding has taken place, there is greater awareness that the Mayor needs to be treated with respect and dignity and be able to have a safe quality of life for herself and her family.
“The Mayor will continue to serve the citizens of this great city and will remain focused on moving us forward together.”
Such deathless prose leaves so much to parse.
Let’s start with the most obvious: Cantrell’s “overall purpose” was not to justify a restraining order or protecting the mayor; it was to clog the judicial system with frivolous tripe aimed solely at intimidating if not punishing Breaud.
The mayor is lucky D’Souza didn’t go farther than ordering her to pay Breaud’s legal fees. The judge could have held Cantrell in contempt. As for those fees, if the mayor takes as long to pay those as she took to repay the city treasury for her first-class travel on taxpayers’ dime, Breaud’s attorney should not expect payment anytime soon.
As for the current political climate, Cantrell has only herself to blame for citizens’ anger and frustration. She has all but checked out as mayor, and people know it.
Regarding the public’s greater awareness of what Cantrell needs to feel secure, recent independent surveys of New Orleans show that voters feel even less secure — and they are painfully aware of the mayor’s failure to “remain focused on moving us forward together.”
You don’t have to be a lawyer to know that Cantrell abused the legal system by filing a baseless claim just to harass Breaud. She picked a fight and then didn’t even show up.
I haven’t seen someone take a dive like that since Ali vs. Liston II.
Liston at least didn’t claim that throwing the rematch achieved his overall objective. In fact, he may well have had a very legitimate objective — not getting pummeled a second time by The Greatest.
That’s more than can be said of Cantrell, who complains about the spotlight she “aggressively” sought twice as a candidate for mayor.
For years, major sporting and cultural events have bullied host cities into suppressing free speech and other fundamental rights via so-called 'clean zone' ordinances.