It is Time to Stop Accepting Public Criticism as Justified? This Editor Says Yes

As the country heads into an all-consuming Euro 2024 finals this weekend, I can't help but roll my eyes at the torrent of criticism and abuse Gareth Southgate has faced. Particularly over the last few weeks, but also over the last year. The man has served his country more than any other player – 100 games as senior team manager, 57 caps as a player and 37 as men's under-21 head coach, giving a whopping total of 194 games – and has the best record of any modern England men's manager in the last 50 years. Yet, he has constantly had to deal with football pundits (looking at you Lineker et al) who have gone on and on about his tactics, lack of substitutions and squad choices like they have some god-given right to say whatever they want as he has taken on the role.

I'm not sure if it's just me but this type of chat, without any acknowledgement of how this can affect someone's mental health, feels outdated. Did we learn nothing from the David Beckham documentary? We may have come on leaps with the male mental health conversation, but is this actually something we are using in practice? Something tells me, no. And sadly the statistics tell a similar story. A study by The Priory found that nearly 80% of men believe they have experienced common mental health conditions such as anxiety, stress or depression – 32% of those citing work pressure as the cause.

Former footballer and previous West Ham head coach Stuart Pearce described how the, "emotional baggage and expectation that comes with the England manager job," should never be underestimated, when he was interviewed by TalkSport after England's semi final win and you could hear the overwhelming emotion in his voice. This reaction really struck a chord with me, as I think it's important, particularly for men, to be authentic all the time – not just in celebrations.

I watched Southgate's post match press conference and when asked about the criticism he faced his response was so honest and frank, I once again had a lump in my throat. "We all want to be loved, right?" Southgate replied. "I'm a proud Englishman and when all you read is criticism it's hard. If I hadn't been on the grass, I would have been with them in the stands (with the fans). We are kindred spirits." And isn't that the point, there is no job that makes you immune to a constant barrage of, in retrospect, completely unfounded criticism. I'm pretty sure if after every article I published, other editors (some retired from the role or the team, may I add) took to social media or TV to criticise my performance it would be considered quite shocking behaviour.

There is still a disconnect in how we expect men, and boys, to just get their head down and get on with it. We ask them to discuss their mental health on one hand and be unaffected by emotions and 'man up' on the other. As demonstrated when tennis superstar Novak Djokevic used his post match interview to call out the crowd for booing him during the game. Everyone was quick to make excuses and point out it wasn't booing, like he was the problem for speaking up, rather than how it made him feel. I'm sure it was really hurtful, especially with his six-year-old daughter in the crowd, possibly wondering why her Dad was being booed by the crowd.

It is these excuses that make this type of criticism appear appropriate. And I'm not sure where this leaves us going forward and how we teach our children that their words matter and they shouldn't accept this type of abuse – and I use the word correctly. To become a professional footballer, tennis player or indeed any high level sports star it takes years of sacrifice and dedication. These people don't just end up in these roles, or get given them thanks to their birthright. Why should they accept that excessive criticism from bystanders comes as part and parcel of all that hard work and talent? No, I will not accept and will not allow my football-obsessed five-year-old to think it's ok too.

We have a strict zero criticism rule in this house as my partner, who is also a dedicated football fan who travels the world supporting England and Arsenal, and I are completely aligned. There is a difference between encouragement and working hard to improve, and making someone feel bad. He manages the under six football team and is quite strict that constant sideline comments will not be tolerated. He also left the last 16 match in Germany at 90 mins (yes, missing the goal and extra time) because he was so shocked by the constant abuse of the fans and didn't want our son to think this was ok.

There is a fine line between passion and outright unacceptable behaviour. Southgate has done a lot of work with his team building their confidence and working together, but maybe now it's our turn to do the same.

Lauren Ezekiel is an associate editor at PS UK, where she writes about all things beauty and wellness. With a degree in journalism and 12 years' experience as a beauty editor at a leading Sunday supplement, she is obsessed with skincare, hair and makeup, and is often found offering advice to innocent bystanders. Her work has been published in Grazia, OK, Health and Beauty, The Sun, ASDA, Dare and Metro.