The Hardest Part of Learning Another Language

Making linguistic errors can be embarrassing.

Source: Vika_Glitter / Pixabay

This has been a record year for Americans taking vacations and making trips abroad. But as many travelers learn, communicating with people in other parts of the world can be fraught with difficulty.

Dusting off a language that you studied in high school can certainly be useful in many situations, but even a well-intentioned tourist might annoy or offend native speakers of the language—perhaps without even realizing it. This is because knowing a language and being able to effectively communicate with it aren’t the same thing.

Aspiring language learners need to acquire the vocabulary or the grammar of another tongue, but knowing how to employ it in socially appropriate ways is another matter entirely.

It turns out that knowing how to say something can be just as important as knowing what to say.

Language and Culture

Each culture has its own set of social rules and routines, but the rules vary by country and sometimes even by region. These include politeness routines and the appropriate degree of formality to use when interacting with others.

Some languages, like German or Spanish, have formality baked right into their lexicons and grammar. A polite versus a more intimate form of you is something that English lacks—although more familiar versions of the plural you, such as y’all or yinz, exist as regional variants. (Y’all is mostly associated with Southern speech but is rapidly going national, whereas yinz is primarily heard in Western Pennsylvania.)

Many guidebooks and some language instructors emphasize acquiring the more formal constructions used in the target language since coming across as overly polite is less likely to offend than being too familiar. However, this also means that a non-native speaker runs the risk of sounding like an oddly formal caveman.

These communicative differences aren’t solely linguistic, either. Consider something as basic as making eye contact with or greeting people you encounter on the street. In some places, doing so is considered a violation of social norms and is frowned upon.

But in a different locale, failing to make eye contact or acknowledge others might mark you as rude or unfriendly. This is true in the U.S.—the unwritten social rules governing looking someone in the eye or saying hello are different in densely populated urban areas than they are in more suburban or rural settings.

In addition, a fluent speaker must have some knowledge of the language’s slang, euphemisms, and idioms. The danger here is that the appropriateness of such expressions varies greatly depending on the social setting. But such issues aren’t typically covered in introductory language classes.

Striking the Right Tone

To illustrate this, let’s flip the script and consider the problems faced by someone who is learning English. The language has a remarkably diverse set of euphemisms for the concept of having died, such as “kicked the bucket,” “bought the farm,” “pushing up daisies,” and even “taking a dirt nap.” All of these, however, would be wildly inappropriate to use when expressing one’s sorrow to a grieving family member at a memorial service.

Or how about congratulating a coworker who is expecting? To observe that they are “knocked up” or “preggers” would be ill-advised—unless the speaker knows the coworker well and is straining for humorous effect. On the other hand, remarking that they are “in a family way” would be too formal. And observing that someone is “in the club” is a British expression that many Americans wouldn’t understand.

Let’s consider another possibility. How would you tell someone that a mutual acquaintance had way too much to drink the night before? Again, English has a vast array of terms for describing this. Would you say that they were “three sheets to the wind,” “hammered,” or “driving the porcelain bus”? The phrase you choose would depend on factors like your relationship with the inebriated person, the individual you are addressing, and why you are divulging that information.

Social Life Essential Reads

How Do We Decide to Leave a Social Interaction?

More Variety in Your Social Life in Old Age May Help You Live Longer

The native speaker of a language understands the connotations of these terms and will probably choose an expression appropriate to the context. A non-native speaker may attempt this and fail because social rules and norms vary so much from culture to culture.

Using idioms correctly can also be challenging. These frozen expressions can’t be altered, even just a little, without changing their meaning. I’m reminded of a friend who told a colleague—a native speaker of Korean—that I would be giving a public talk soon. The colleague summoned up his imperfect command of English and said, “I hope he breaks both his legs.” After all, two broken legs must be better than one, right? But what was intended as a wish for good luck came across as rather cruel—as well as painful.

None of this should dissuade the aspiring language student. Remember, native speakers make errors, too. And it’s by making mistakes that we learn. I hope that all of you break a leg—but just one—in your adventures with other languages.