The Best Time For A Funny SpongeBob Quote… Is All The Time

Movie and TV Quotes
Updated October 1, 2023 24 items

The best quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants are both goofy and delightful (and perfect for a meme). The most memorable quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants give the show silly sayings that highlight each characters personalities. Other one-liners from SpongeBob SquarePants highlight why it’s one of the funniest shows on TV.

Nickelodeon's SpongeBob SquarePants is an American animated comedy series with funny quotes voiced by some of the best voice actors and celebrity guests. The show also has a great cast of characters like SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward and of course, they are going to have some great quotes along the way. With that said, which SpongeBob SquarePants quotes are your favorites?

Vote up your favorite quotes from SpongeBob SquarePants and vote down any quotes you didn't like, regardless of which character says it.

  • Krabs' Best Friend
    1

    Krabs' Best Friend

    Mr. Krabs: Believe me, boy. I know what its like to lose a friend.

    SpongeBob: Really, Mr. Krabs?

    Mr. Krabs: I was five years old, me father gave me a dollar. I loved that dollar...loved it like a brother.

    SpongeBob: What happened to the dollar, Mr. Krabs?

    Mr. Krabs: Then one day, at the beach, [starts to sob] IT WAS SO HOOOOT... and I was so thirsty, I spent it on a soda...! Uhhuhhuhhuh... MY BEST FRIEND!!!

    14 votes
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  • Dr. Patrick
    2

    Dr. Patrick

    Patrick: That's "Mr. Dr. Professor Patrick" to you.

    10 votes
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  • Cucumber Bicycles
    3

    Cucumber Bicycles

    SpongeBob: Didn't you used to have one of those cucumber bicycles?

    Squidward: Oh. [laughs] That was a recumbent bicycle, and I sold it.

    SpongeBob: Why?

    Squidward: So, I could get further away from you! [rushes off]

    SpongeBob: Okay, I'll see you later then, Squidward.

    9 votes
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  • Keep It Cool
    4

    Keep It Cool

    Mr. Krabs: I don't care if Santy Claus and Jack Frost are having Ice Cream Cones. Don't... touch... THE THERMOSTAAAAAAT!!

    8 votes
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  • Save Me
    5

    Save Me

    Squidward: Hello, Animal Control? Save me!

    7 votes
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  • Your Crummy Wish
    6

    Your Crummy Wish

    Squidward: Fine! I would like, uh.. a golden clarinet that always plays beautifully..!

    Plankton: Your crummy wish is my command!

    7 votes
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  • Goodbye
    7

    Goodbye

    Squidward: [to SpongeBob, after quitting] You know, there's something I've been wanting to tell you from the day we first met - goodbye.

    7 votes
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  • Bad Choices
    8

    Bad Choices

    SpongeBob: Patrick, you are making very poor choices!

    7 votes
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  • There Will Be No Hugs
    9

    There Will Be No Hugs

    Squidward: There will be no hugs, get away from me you monstrosity!

    7 votes
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  • Please Hesitate To Ask
    10

    Please Hesitate To Ask

    Squidward: Here, one of everything! No cheese, no crust, no pickles to the left, four squirts of ketchup, wheat buns, non-dairy lettuce, and farm-raised tomatoes carnival style! And if there is anything else I can do, please hesitate to ask!

    14 votes
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  • Knock Knock
    11

    Knock Knock

    Patrick: Knock, knock!

    SpongeBob: Who's there?

    Patrick: I don't know!

    12 votes
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  • Working Out
    12

    Working Out

    SpongeBob: This working out thing isn't working out.

    10 votes
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  • Ruin Squidward's Day
    13

    Ruin Squidward's Day

    Squidward: SpongeBob, is it time already for you to ruin my day?

    Patrick: Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? Don't start without me!

    14 votes
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  • Genie Claus
    14

    Genie Claus

    Squidward: I can't believe anyone would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and leaves gifts.

    Patrick: Like a genie.

    14 votes
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  • Please Knock
    15

    Please Knock

    Mr. Krabs: Neptune's Knee-highs, lad! How many times do I have to remind you to knock?!

    9 votes
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  • Focus On The Road
    16

    Focus On The Road

    SpongeBob: Focus on the road. There is nothing but the road.

    9 votes
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  • Knee-Deep In Secret Formula
    17

    Knee-Deep In Secret Formula

    Plankton: That's right, Karen. By the time those two knuckleheads figure it out, I'll be knee-deep in secret formula!... Yes, I'll wear my galoshes.

    7 votes
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  • So Santa Knows
    18

    So Santa Knows

    SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward. What are you doing today?

    Squidward: Stringing lights so Santa knows, in no uncertain terms... [turns on lights reading "GO AWAY"] ...To "GO AWAY"!

    7 votes
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  • There Was Chum
    19

    There Was Chum

    SpongeBob: Lights, please. And lo, there was chum. A food that turned from revolting to festive by magical thinking. And the goodwill of chum clogged the hearts of fish kind and ushered in a new—[chum is thrown at him].

    8 votes
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  • I Like Squidward
    20

    I Like Squidward

    SpongeBob: Bye, Squidward! Bye, Mr. Krabs! [sounding flirtatious] Bye, Squidward.

    Patrick: You said "Bye Squidward" twice.

    SpongeBob: I like Squidward.

    7 votes
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  • No Parking
    21

    No Parking

    Mermaid Man: Evil can't park here between the hours of 6 am and 12 pm!

    6 votes
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  • Not Fit For Public Consumption
    22

    Not Fit For Public Consumption

    SpongeBob: Squidward, no! Those patties aren't fit for public consumption!

    Squidward: Here, enjoy!

    6 votes
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  • JKB
    23

    JKB

    J.K.L.: Just keep breathin'.

    8 votes
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  • Four-Star Dining
    24

    Four-Star Dining

    Sandy: It may not look like much to you and me, but this here is four-star dining to a snail!

    5 votes
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