Earthshine
Earthshine
Is
dana jaye
cadman
EARTHSHINE & IS
BY
GRADUATE SCHOOL-NEWARK
RIGOBERTO GONZALEZ
AND APPROVED BY
________________________________
RIGOBERTO GONZALEZ
________________________________
acknowledgements
THANK YOU
the Table
Table of Contents................................................................. iv
I
First Poem
not this
baby
but
the flint
light
of a cunt
—lungs all
full— smoke
& shine
dusking
august
dark &
sparkling
wide
into fall
2
Clipped
we just met
and on the sidewalk
under the threats
of dawn first
bubbling her anger
at the night coming
red onto her
i explain
tentacle porn
to the whole
after-bar group of us
(it's strange
and silent (barely
any traffic this far
north in brooklyn
this close
to day)) so you say
maybe next time
you'll come up
with us
to blaze
i find myself
still thirsty and my
pack of smokes
all gone (it isn't
raining) the moon
juice and ashes
haven't satisfied me
3
green and blue
a turquoise really
not the dark
and violent color
i'd expect
4
Night Stand
5
Drupes
6
Animal Needs
we we don't we got
dessert but it was
7
Dessert You
8
Pause
love is a wheelbarrow.
Let it rain on us.
9
Creation Story
10
Miss You (Communication)
laughing at us
i think they are gulls
somewhere too
when it was still august
go your hand
touching toward me
to get in touch?
i forgot to be listening
11
were being microwaved
let’s do that again
why can’t we be
that vulnerable?
this is ridiculous
the quiet is all over
12
Empty Stomach
13
I Only Brought 12 Dollars Because Any More Would Be Asking for Trouble
falling
stars
than
see them
see?
they
fail
they
aren’t
perfect
(
this
is
)
we all
fall
to
the earth
14
(
don’t
ruin it
)
15
Nail Polish
at one point
you’ll see me
in red you are
a pomegranate
you have many
parts only some
of which i have
the patience or
taste for you are
a bunch of grapes
you are a litter
of grown cats
fat on themselves
and i am as sorry
as i can stand to
be while still being
myself you really
fucking annoy me
with your eyes
because they are
round and color
and you annoy me
with your voice
and all its sound
and that is really
obnoxious how
you just stand
there with your
body and your
everything and how
dare you smile at me
look away please
i don’t have the time
to give my feet
to another fire or
to stamp out
my heart or stand
on the soot
of either of them
while you are
walking some
where away
the kittens lick
themselves
clean when we
touch them they
think we are filthy
beings and we are
i would like to eat
an entire box of dark
16
berries with you
and let them stain
our fingertips blue
17
Because
18
To Migrate
The clock
has its frown and wink on. I think,
finally, there has been enough of this.
The breeze flips the leaves naked.
I can see their backsides, waxy, ready
for rain. A wolf can hear an autumn leaf
falling, even if he doesn't try to.
Instincts make our worst mistakes
for us. I'm compelled to each touch
by a mechanism of your skin underneath
its own howl of sweat. I turn and circle
counter-wise and bell out, ringing for you.
It is springtime again. I know it because
I heard the birds sing and cry today,
over the rackets of traffic and T.V.
and it was blues songs they were
singing, elegies for snow. Don't you
see, nothing can fall until there's
a ground for it–no rain. There's
always an origin for gravity. There's
a pull toward you that my body
knew before I could even conceive
a thought. My heart has an urge
for logic. But I move regardless
of understanding or empiric
need. For this, there is a program
in my flesh with the instructions
in it. You, baby, are a reflex.
The birds (What are they called?
The ones with that ugly morning
song?) are in pain. They've come
here without a need for thinking
about it. The will of their bodies
(The longing.) brought them
in the wind for something warmer
but they are here outside the glass
storm windows, singing lyrics
of despair. I know, it is still cold.
We're going south so we can see
the Sun direct over the equator.
We like a good noontime, the heat
high on us, and the way we'll sweat.
19
Dot
20
@danajaye
21
Relationships
about that
22
Shut Up
23
The Knowing the Tide Has
24
Party Colored
25
Funny Poem
Knock, Knock.
Who cares?
26
Another Time
time (retrograde) we
are moving apart
of timing
a sort of fresh grey
rain on me
27
Aubade
It seems
there will
be life after
you. A morning.
Paper skin.
The blister remembers
and scars.
When you left,
I swallowed
a planet
(in the shape
of a pear)
and kept it
in my chest
to grow and green.
Each sleep
it ripened
with the swell
of my breath.
Tropic of Cancer.
repeating deaths.
When Spring
came,
the Ether morning
opened motion
on me.
Dew.
I have known
28
the diadem
of stars
the Diviner keeps
at home.
of copper wire
and cigarettes
and broken things.
But don't
we grow. I know
how the buck
turns from a faun.
Monarch of Weeds.
Laurels of wilt.
The crescent sheds
its antler
self
to become nothing
at all. We, as all
things, fall.
I know the sunrise
and I know
the facts.
The branches
of each lung
and capillary
of the heart bend
like wheatgrain
giving to a breeze.
The seasons
in us
that the cancer
relieves.
Sweet half
moon shows
29
only half
her heart, an onion
bulb underneath.
Your plant-flesh
leans its rays
to heat:
a bent neck
for your disease.
You do not go,
old Cobalt.
The Empress
keeps dressed
in her pomegranate
robes. The wild
engine
of your body
remains
on and on.
Death is just
for the sky
and cards to know.
No,
of this. We grew
and now
we sex.
Our love, love,
is not an apocalypse
or exorcism
dawn. Not the undone
tulip, cracked
30
what moves along.
What moves inside
of me. What
stops. The rest
of the moon
is gold
and its top
cut off.
31
I II III
32
Telling Fate
like how
33
The Last Meal
some earth
some blue
earth where
some kind
of fruit
God is
somewhere peeling
with his
thumbs mangoes
ripe ripe
and ripe
tropical as
a last
meal Spring
time went
in blue
hot and
April was
just blue
all through
to August
good and
full again
with the
long day
light is
this still
sun orange
is the
round mango
34
The Devil
35
The Soup Man
The soup
man poured
the soup from
the spoon back
in to
the soup sitting in
last booth silence
the waitress spoke more softly
as to not disturb the soup
the soup man drank alone
mumbling and who knows
put the napkin maybe watching
down the man
carefully choosing his words
36
Beginning To
37
Midnight
it is an old carousel:rotate
I hear your breaths fall
in the other room.
38
I You Us
39
Fingerpaint
40
Wrapping Paper
41
Little Town
42
Newburgh
She always
was a sinner
a bad
whore to her deep
but once holy body,
she
merely left half
of herself in new
skin&clothes on Broadway
she looked out into what
was a city, what was a
beautiful city,
once a long time ago.
43
Magnolia
44
Locust or Three Love Poems for the Muse
45
Watched Pot
I won't say
anything
anymore I am not seeing You
anymore
I want to say I want
to see You
I want to see You
where are You I sent You
Your texts this is a text
a poem about trees
I said goodnight about communication
You called me once You
said hey sugar You said call me
back busy girl I have
been waiting for I am
waiting for You I mean
I am waiting for something although
I do not know what You are
a watched pot You are not not
not like the
wild belligerence of
the last winter
quarter crescent his sly
wink to the sky while
smiling before he slips away
he becomes vapor
ether body
new moon boy look
how You boil You can turn
Your skin into the sky
how do
You let
go me
say do let me in
do let me know where
are You going and why
don't You let me You
let me go
go
46
The Last Time I Tell You About the Last Meal
i do not
and it does not matter
47
I II III
48
Intersection
49
The Querent
I cannot say
I can tell you
what will happen
or what definitely
cannot
for him
to push
50
Frame
When I die
my house won't
remember me.
You might. When
my body becomes
a home for your
body I forget that
death is a thing
bodies need to do.
It isn't exactly
this gaping hole
I have in my life
without you, just
a means to enter into.
Here is the bell
to ring and here
is the door way,
open me and come
inside.
51
Knob
Naked. My belly
is some testament
to no-god. I found
my holy by accident.
Insomniac, I couldn’t
sleep and lulled
myself into dream
only body. I found me.
It was dark down
there. And wet.
Like the doorway
to a basement.
52
Earth
Close your eyes as soft and slow as the stars turn in the sky.
Palm to slate to moon, there is a warmth to this. Radiate.
The night is a curve, a bellow from the throat, lifting up toward
whatever light. Hound. Howl. Arch into the blooming and imagine this:
a solitary
blink. One
flicker
of a single, still
planet.
53
Moon Song
i do.
54
Earthshine
55
Balance
Not just
the flow
but the ebb
as well. Not
only when
the moon
grows full
of itself,
bitches
about her
heavy heart
to the sky
who listens
intently,
but also as
it empties,
lets the night
enter her
pale skin
and turn her
out. You
know what
this story
is about.
The manner
in which
our touch
grows thin
and patience
is a pleasure,
is an imagined
thing. A story
the orchestra
around us
knows but
we do not.
Not the ghost
alone but
the whimper
it leaves
in the body.
The dream
of a memory
of something
we wished for.
We are not
close enough
to this type
of knowing
to reach out
56
and hold a
planet in our
palm but yes I
can understand
the moon's
wanting to
give herself
like that, and
I can't say
there is much
I wouldn't do
to keep and let
you go each
night a little
more, and less.
57
I Am Like the Moon Again
58
Orbit
Crazy to think
out there there
are other bodies
revolving
around one another (like me&you)
There is only one
moon to me Earth
moon
.
59
Earthset
60
Just In Case We Go Swimming
for Emily, who sings, my sister & friend
while the sun is still up. it isn’t fair. i can’t say why
we need to be tested but it seems i won’t be staying
dry. it is august again emily, and i forget the words
to the music we wrote. i feel as though i broke
61
Ars Poetica with Flowers
62
Cataract
63
Born Again
And below
Eula is stomping
her brand new feet.
And now, Eula says they sing for you. And I think she means
these breaching seasons, where the walls of South Street
keep her preaching only to me;
64
Metaphor
November begins
and already the wind blew
all of the leaves off
65
Go
66
Juniper
67
Long Distance Call
68
Open to You
i am inexplicably sad.
it happens like that, my life
sprawled out, gin and cigarettes,
69
Bluesweet Sonata
70
Thanksgiving
Did you know the sun and the moon is two different planets?
I used to think it was the same thing but turned round.
It ain't. Both can be in the sky at the same time. Ever notice that?
I met a bird once. I met a bird and I caught her. I caught her
up in me. Roasted the bird. Ate the bird with her own gravy.
You turned all wet before the winter froze you up. You've got
on earth while you got that whole sky to fly around. I'm still
waiting for the B48 and there are almost freezing raindrops
falling all over my body, which should be, surely, more
clothed.
71
The Reader
meaning if it is mine
to give than you
have given
it to me
I don't believe
in the first place
in power
I am a submissive
being meaning if
you want it have it
take it take me
Learn to let go
I know how
to have a hole
72
You said I am sorry
I put my body
inside your body
if only for a second
I am sorry
it was only a second
She cries
yes
but anyway
Inborn in us
Fine you be
both the sun and moon
and all the planets
and skies
Over which
your existence
is to rise
and fall for me
I said shut up
and you said let me
speak
It is hard
73
to say which
has the power
the light
or that which
is lit
It is not for me
to tell you
what to do
or see
I cannot do not
know
what that means
74
Last Poem
75