'traumatised'
MOLLY Mae Hague has spoken about her "traumatising" first week as a new mum, where she was left screaming for an ambulance.
In an emotional video, the 23-year-old influencer said how she didn't sleep for five days and nights and couldn't eat.
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"Maybe when I look back now, it sounds dramatic and it sounds intense, but I guess I do have a bit of trauma from the first few [weeks]," she told fans.
"When I look back at the first few weeks... traumatised is a really strong word, but I am slightly when I look back at the first few weeks when she came home.
"I was actually really, really unwell in the first week, I didn't sleep at all for five straight days and first straight nights.
"I physically couldn't eat, every time I had the opportunity to go and sleep when my sister was watching her, I felt physically sick every time I tried to sleep.
"My body couldn't understand that I was letting it rest."
Molly became a mum for the first time in January with her boyfriend Tommy Fury.
She said how she tried to film a 40 minute Q&A for her followers, but ended up calling her sister Zoe for help.
Zoe told her to abandon the idea of a Q&A and just talk about her experience as a new mum.
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"This is TMI but in the first two weeks I suffered with severe constipation. That constipation that I experienced in the first week was actually harder than my labour," Molly sobbed.
"The constipation made me so, so, so unwell in the first week. I was actually at one point in the shower, with Zoe stood outside the shower, I was crouching down in the shower and I was that constipated that I was screaming for her to call me an ambulance.
"It had been probably about nine days and I hadn't been for a poo. This is so TMI but I'm just going to be completely real, the feeling was like taking over my whole body, I was literally going green."
She added a photo of what she looked like during the first few weeks of bringing Bambi home, pointing out that her skin had gone grey.
Talking about how she was unable to go to the toilet, she said: "I physically couldn't, from the vaginal birth I was so messed up down there in that region and I had actually lost all ability down there to push.
"That was something I was not prepared for. I also had a severe urine infection, I was just a complete mess."
Being close to tears, she said how she wasn't even sure if she was going to post the video, but said how much she missed vlogging.
She joked that even though it may not look like she's ready to come back, she said she wants to return to making content.
In her candid 11 minute video, she admitted that she’d also had a cold for two weeks.
Welling up, she said: “I feel like there’s just so much to say and so much to talk about that I literally don’t know where to start.
“I don’t feel like I’m being myself, and I don’t know why I’m getting upset but I feel like I’m questioning everything I’m saying and what are people going to think if I say that.”
Molly said she was scared of what people would say if she opened up honestly about the last two months of her life.
She added through tears: “Nothing I say is making sense. My brain is jumbled and I don’t feel like myself.
“It’s not that I need more time to come back because I do feel ready to come back and want more than anything to come back to YouTube.
“I want it more than anything but maybe I’ve left it too long and I have so much to say that I feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin.”
Molly admitted she’d pushed everyone away during the first month of Bambi’s life, including family and friends, as she just wanted to be with Tommy.
“That was just completely the wrong thing to do and I don’t think I should’ve done that,” Molly added.
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She said she has trauma from the first few weeks of Bambi’s birth due to it being the “maddest” time of her life.
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