NO KIDDING
From Molly-Mae to Katherine Ryan – the six stars whose ‘bizarre’ parenting choices have left others baffled
Parenting expert Hannah Love responded to Stacey Solomon's admission that she has a 'favourite' child...
PARENTING is always going to be a divisive topic - and what technique works for one isn't always going to be best for another.
And let's face it, mums can't do right for doing wrong nowadays, with the 'mum police' at every twist and turn, waiting to offer their two-pennies-worth.
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From Abbey Clancy giving her son a dummy at three-years-old to Katherine Ryan admitting to potty training her kids "from the moment they're born," these famous faces have all shared divisive parenting confessions over the years.
Whether it's letting your baby "cry out" or admitting to having a favourite child, parenting expert Hannah Love and spoken exclusively to Fabulous to reveal her expert opinion on some of the most unusual parenting techniques celeb mums swear by.
MOLLY-MAE HAGUE AND LAURA ANDERSON'S 'SELF-SETTLE' APPROACH
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Molly-Mae Hague hit the headlines after she revealed she'd been leaving her daughter Bambi, then 11 months, to cry after she tried following the "self-settle" technique.
In a recent YouTube video, the former Love Island star, who is engaged to Tommy Fury, was talking about her daughter's first birthday when, right on queue, she started crying in the background.
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Looking at the baby monitor, the 24-year-old reassured her fans: "She's OK, by the way. I know this seems…some people don't like to leave their babies to cry, but right now she's more just sort of grizzling and this is her self-settling."
She continued: "This feels really weird I'm sharing this but this is totally normal.
"She does this every single time I put her down, she'll roll around in her cot a little bit, she'll stand up and literally five minutes later she'll fall asleep."
It wasn't long before Bambi seemed to settle, with Molly-Mae admitting that the technique has been working well for her.
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"It sounds horrible. No one wants to leave their baby to cry, but sometimes you have to because now she's basically asleep," she explained.
"That's just how it works for us, personally."
And she's not the only celeb adopting the parenting approach, with former Love Islander Laura Anderson, who shares four-month-old daughter Bonnie with Gary Lucy, also admitting that she lets her baby "cry it out."
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In a candid post shared on Instagram, she penned: "What a day and it's not even over.
"Not 1 nap longer than 20 minutes and fed every hour. I've had to let Bonnie cry it out as I'm out of ideas.
"3 weeks today, wow what a turn from angel child to (devil emoji).
"Praying tonight this doesn't continue and she settles because I am exhausted.
"Who's idea was it to have a baby?"
The exhausted mum-of-one then shared a further post of her daughter in the bath.
Hitting back at mumshamers, she clarified: "When I say cry it out I meant about 2.5 seconds so I could think of another solution as it was the first time she's cried so hard and I wasn't able to quickly rectify, chill peeps.
"She skipped a nap and was overtired so it just spiralled. Tomorrow is a new day. Currently unblocking milk ducts in the bath woo!"
THE EXPERT'S OPINION
Parenting expert Hannah Love, who can be found sharing her tips on Instagram, explains that the term ‘cry it out’ has so many negative associations - and, often, for good reason.
"Leaving any baby to scream for long periods isn’t something I would advise, even as a sleep expert who firmly believes teaching the art of self-settling is a vital skill for babies." she says.
"Why? It’s unnecessary as there are gentle ways to encourage sleep that are even more effective and much kinder on the baby and parent.
"However, in both of these examples neither Laura or Molly-Mae are leaving their babies to ‘cry it out’ in the traditional sense."
The parenting whizz goes on to say that in the video of Molly-Mae, you can clearly hear Bambi having a little whinge and calming to go to sleep.
"This short period before sleep is when babies are at their most grumpy and it's unrealistic to think that they will go into their cot, smile up at you and sleep," she explains.
Leaving any baby to scream for long periods isn’t something I would advise, even as a sleep expert who firmly believes teaching the art of self settling is a vital skill for babies
Hannah Love
"They need wind down time - just as we do, and this can often include a little whinge before settling.
"Going in and interfering in this can often make things worse, escalate the crying and interfere in the babies ability to sleep well.
"Molly-Mae in my opinion is absolutely doing the right thing here."
As for Laura, Hannah notes that most parents can sympathise with the comment of being "out of options."
She continues: "If any parent feels like this then absolutely the safest and best thing to do is pop baby down and give yourself a moment.
"Be kind to yourself and take some breaths. This is exactly what she did and is extremely different to leaving a baby to ‘cry it out’.
"Mum-shaming has absolutely no place here and I think sometimes the parenting community needs a reminder to ‘be kind.'"
KATHERINE RYAN'S POTTY TRAINING
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The comedian, who has Fred, two, and Fenna, one, with husband Bobby Kootstra, and 14-year-old Violet from a previous relationship, sparked controversy after revealing that she potty trains her children "from the moment they're born."
Katherine, who is 40-year's-old, explained how she sits her babies on the potty as soon as they're old enough to listen to a story being read to them.
Speaking on her podcast 'Telling Everybody Everything,' she explained: “I put them on the potty pretty much from the moment they’re born.
"A newborn is still scrunched up, you can’t sit them on the potty, but from about the time they can listen to a story and look at a book, I just put them on the potty randomly throughout the day, and they have an instinct to go.
“It happens all over the world, just not in Western culture. We are the ones, the only ones, who train our babies to go in a nappy.”
However, she goes on to admit that it isn't a straight-forward journey, with an inevitable hiccough or two here and there.
"In the early stages, when my children are learning to walk, they do chuck a p*** here and there on the ground, and you have to be very careful that they don’t slip in it, but they see themselves peeing and they learn what peeing is," she continued.
“That’s fine with me because crucially what I’m not doing when I potty train my kids young is I am avoiding the stage where the rest of us in Western culture train them to go in their pants.”
The Live at the Apollo star points out that the next stage is when the baby switches over to solids at around six months.
“When you start to wean them and give them solid food, then they make a face when they need to go for a poo because it’s no longer breastmilk poo that goes everywhere,” she explained.
“And when they go, just be like 'wow,' and reward it with nappy-free time because that’s far more comfortable and just try at different times throughout the day to pop them on and see if they sit and go, 'Do you need a peepee?'
‘”Make it part of the culture of your home, that we pee on the potty.”
THE EXPERT'S OPINION
Hannah explains that this approach is something she has personal experience with as when she was a young nanny, a family she worked for adopted this habit.
"Each time she came to the house she would pop the little one over the toilet, from birth," she recalls.
"The sensation of being scrunched up meant she almost always went to the toilet. I also appreciate this is common in many other societies."
She goes on to say that what it does achieve is less dirty and wet nappies, which is a good thing what ever way you look at it - for the environment and your pocket.
However, she notes: "The little girl was practically dry by 18 months BUT I didn’t classify that as being ‘potty trained.'"
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The parenting whizz explains that in her potty training course, she advises starting over the age of 2 - and says it's for good reason.
"Although little ones can be dry and clean from an early age- Katherine states by 12 months, this is because you consistently put them on the toilet, hold them over the potty, watch for signs and then put them on there," she says.
"As Katherine describes – you know when they need to go “then they make a face when they need to go for a poo’.
"This is completely different to knowing when they need to go, telling you, waiting until you get them to the potty and then going. This takes longer, more skills and is more developmental.
"So, yes - this could be a great way but it takes commitment, consistently, and the ability to be watching your little one most of the day - a luxury most parents don’t have these days."
STACEY SOLOMON'S 'FAVOURITE CHILD'
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Stacey Solomon caused quite a stir online after jokingly revealing she had a favourite child.
During her BBC series, Stacey Solomon's Crafty Christmas, she could be see cutting out a photo of her firstborn son Zachary, who she had with ex Dean Cox, and was born when she was 17.
The mum-of-five, who has previously credited Zachary for "changing my whole life," said: "Ah Zach, my favourite child.
"Just kidding - but he is. I'm just joking again - everyone's got one, don't pretend you don't."
And it wasn't the first time she mentioned about Zachary being her golden boy.
She previously quipped: "You all know by now that Zachary is my favourite."
But while the comments were clearly a joke, some social media users were unimpressed and remained firm on the fact that parents shouldn't have a favourite when it comes to their children.
THE EXPERT'S OPINION
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Hannah, who is also a paediatric nurse and sleep expert, comments: "I think Stacey’s honesty is a breath of fresh air and it’s this that makes her one of the most popular TV presenters right now.
"I think there is a big difference between having a ‘favourite’ and saying you love one child more than another.
"You can have a favourite age - which would then, for that time period, dictate a favourite child.
"You and a child could have a similar hobby to or enjoy the same things such as shopping, going to the gym or eating out.
"You can have favourite children for different activities or even times of the year."
She goes on to say that as a mum-of-three, she also has "favourites" dictated by their behaviour, her patience, or even who has eaten their dinner.
"That doesn’t for one minute mean that I love any of them more than the other and I think that is where the confusion lies," she adds.
ABBEY CLANCY'S DUMMY USE
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Last year, Abbey Clancy was cruelly mum-shamed after sharing a snap of her three-year-old son Jack sucking a dummy.
The 38-year-old, who is married to footballer Peter Crouch, shared a snap on Instagram which was taken during a family holiday to the Maldives, where the couple renewed their vows.
In the photo, the model, who is a mum-of-four, could be seen enjoying a cuddle with her son.
But what seemed like a sweet photo quickly caused quite a stir, with many rushing to the comments section to share their views - and while some argued he was far too old for the soothing device, others warned it could cause dental issues.
"Isn’t he a bit old for a dummy?" wrote one.
A second commented: " Is he 4 yeah it increases dental problems."
THE EXPERT'S OPINION
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Hannah explains that dummies have always been a controversial parenting subject.
"As a sleep specialist I think most people would assume I would be against dummies," she says,
"I am actually the opposite of that- all 3 of my own babies had one.
"They can be a great tool for ‘sucky’ babies, prevent thumb sucking (which is much harder to remove or put boundaries around and has the same speech and tooth implications) and can be a great tool for struggling parents with babies that aren’t settling."
It is a well known fact that older children that are still using dummies in the daytime, away from sleep, can develop speech and language difficulties, as well as dental
Hannah Love
complications."
However, she warns: "That said it is a well known fact that older children that are still using dummies in the daytime, away from sleep, can develop speech and language difficulties, as well as dental
complications."
She goes on to say that in her dummy course, she advises using a "dummy pot," where your little one puts the dummy away - before they get out the cot from 12 months.
"This minimises these known risks," she says. "I also advise to eliminate the dummy completely before 3 for the same reason.
However, she points out there could be good reason for Jack still having it.
"Maybe they were waiting until after this important trip so he could have comfort on the plane as well as sleeping in different environments," she explains.
"I would also argue that had he been sucking his thumb no one would have made the same comments, despite the same risks being associated with thumb sucking."
FERNE MCCANN'S 'CONTROL CRYING' METHOD
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The former The Only Way Is Essex star previously caused controversy after revealing she'd been testing out "control crying" with her daughter Sunday, then 14 months.
The controlled crying isn't the same as the 'cry it out' approach, where children are left to cry until they fall asleep, because a key aspect of controlled crying is for parents to step in if the crying continues for more than a few minutes.
The 33-year-old explained that she hoped it'd help to settle her little one when she wasn't around, but made clear she knew it wasn't for everyone.
“I actually get a sleep nanny for Sunday and we do this whole control crying thing which is really controversial, but obviously it was my decision to do that," she said, speaking to OK! magazine.
“I feel like there is such a mum police out there that love to say: ‘You’re not supporting your baby’s head in that picture’ or ‘Your baby needs a hat on’ – but it’s just like chill guys.
“I’m very very laid back and I think when you become a parent it’s down to you and how you decide to raise your baby. But I am excited though!”
THE EXPERT'S OPINION
According to Hannah, the "problem" here lies in the fact that Ferne has taken advice from a professional night nanny.
"It's a shame that many professionals are still advising controlled crying, Ferber or timed interval type techniques to help babies sleep well," she explains.
"Unfortunately, this is as a result of the poor state of the industry and the overload of desperate sleep-deprived parents - a perfect storm."
The parenting whizz points out that she sees advertisements every day saying you can learn to be a ‘sleep expert’ in 2 weeks - and then you're free to go and help parents.
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"Sleep training is not a regulated industry – it's rare for a sleep specialist to have formal qualifications in Nursing and Nutrition as I do," she explains.
"Unfortunately the only ‘sleep technique’ you can teach in a short course is controlled crying.
"It doesn’t take much to educate a sleep specialist to instruct a parent to stand outside a room and check on a baby intermittently."
She goes onto say that in her opinion, she doesn't think it's right.
"But that’s not the parents’ fault," she says. "If you employ someone that is an ‘expert’ and are told this is the only option, you listen - especially when you are desperate and sleep deprived.
"I'm making it my mission to tell parents there are kind and gentle techniques to help babies sleep well, and no parent needs to stand outside a room and hear their little one cry it out."
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She adds: "Honestly, I don’t think any parent is in favour of doing that that, but often it’s sold as the only option other than continuing in the desperate situation they are in right now.
"Who can blame them for trying?"