CAN'T HELP IT
I earned £400k a year but blew it all and went bankrupt yet I STILL can’t stop spending and lead extravagant lifestyle
Polly says she hit rock bottom and has now started to see perspective on her spending habits
Despite being on a fraction of her previous income, Polly Arrowsmith still lives an extravagant lifestyle. Today she explains why…
STANDING in the Dior shop, I twirl this way and that before making the decision to buy a beautiful coat for £3,000.
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It is a timeless classic and I know it will last for years.
It’s perhaps shocking to hear I bought it this time last year as I was still struggling to keep a roof over my head after being made bankrupt in September 2020.
Before then I’d lived an idyllic life since starting a web-hosting business in 2002.
For 15 years, while my business was thriving, I earned up to £400,000 a year from my salary, consultancy work and income from eight buy-to-let properties.
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But just like Katie Price, who was first declared bankrupt in 2019, I couldn’t help but continue to spend after losing it all.
Pals recently revealed that the former glamour model, 46 — who was in court last week after skipping a hearing regarding her second bankruptcy — had previously splurged £7,000 in one go during a trip to Selfridges, despite her desperate financial woes.
Since my bankruptcy four years ago, I’ve spent £20,000 on clothes alone, including that Dior coat which I tried on in the shop and bought online and a Gucci jacket I paid £1,880 for and trainers for £600 from the Gucci shop.
I’ve also bought two identical Paco Rabanne dresses, they were a bargain reduced from £800 to £180, and lots of other bits.
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I bought a Missoni dress for £375, reduced from £1,750 in a sale.
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I also have spent around £300 on skirts as well as shoes at £250 a time, £100 tops and I buy tights from Woolford at £30 a time. I’m rebuilding my working life and need to look the part.
I buy expensive gifts, spending £1,000 on a turntable for a close friend for his birthday.
I go out regularly to West End shows and expensive restaurants. I enjoy champagne and oysters.
Later this year I’ll be having a holiday in Cornwall and last Christmas I went to Lapland.
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Cartier to Chanel
You could even say my life before bankruptcy was akin to that of an international celebrity.
I jetted all over the world, thinking nothing of dropping £10,000 on a week in Barbados to celebrate my sister’s 50th birthday in 2014.
It was perfect, we’d drift along to Sandy Lane Hotel, a favourite haunt of celebrities such as Simon Cowell, to sip cocktails while looking out at the sea.
I knew I was lucky, but I worked hard for my money. I felt validated by having possessions
Polly Arrowsmith
On another occasion I stayed in New York in the Mark Hotel, which became famous in 2019 as the place Meghan Markle held her baby shower.
There were so many trips. I travelled everywhere, from Venezuela to New Zealand, usually first class or business class.
I had all the trappings rich people enjoy, from Cartier watches to six Chanel handbags. I still remember the joy when I bought my Cartier Tank watch in 2004 for £1,800 and felt as though I’d arrived once I had it.
My wardrobe was crammed with clothes worth £150,000, I was a regular at Harvey Nichols and Selfridges. I had sunglasses from Tiffany, Dior and Gucci.
I loved the buzz of being able to walk into a shop knowing I could afford most things. And the retail workers recognise it and treat you accordingly.
It wasn’t just the buying that gave me a dopamine hit. I got huge pleasure from my purchases once I got home. It’s addictive.
I could fill my supermarket trolley with whatever I wanted.
If I didn’t fancy cooking then I’d go out. I enjoyed treating my friends and family and I gave ten per cent of my earnings to charity. I felt blessed and wanted to share the joy.
I knew I was lucky, but I worked hard for my money. I felt validated by having possessions. I liked it when people clocked my watch and recognised that I was successful.
The roots of those emotions stem from my childhood.
My mother was an alcoholic in my early years and was often absent. And I was bullied at school.
I didn’t get pocket money and presents were sparse. I got my first job aged 13 in a shop near our home in Yorkshire. None of my friends worked and were mostly richer than us.
I remember my best friend getting a beautiful leather jacket for her birthday. I loved that coat and saved my wages for weeks to buy the same one and felt such a sense of achievement.
I started equating earning money with buying beautiful things that made me feel like I belonged.
I studied business at university and worked during my holidays in hospitality or retail.
When I left I worked in finance until I started my company. In 15 years we turned over £60million and employed 18 people.
It’s complicated how it all unravelled but the bottom line is that I was a personal guarantor for the business and when I couldn’t pay back a debt in 2017 I was held liable and I lost my business.
In September 2020, after fighting it for three years, I became bankrupt.
I owed £980,000. While I fought it I carried on spending, wanting that dopamine hit.
Although I talked to some friends and family about my bankruptcy, I tried to hide it from most people as I hated the shame.
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Part of my identity
My family have been concerned and suggested I should stop spending.
But some of the pieces I’ve bought, like the Gucci trainers, have actually gone up in value because they’re limited edition.
Usually bankruptcy lasts for a year, but due to the pandemic and the complexities of having to sell my buy-to-let properties it lasted until December 2023. I’d hoped that the properties would cover the debt.
But sadly they didn’t and in July 2022 I was evicted from my beautiful three-bedroom house in North London with 12 hours notice.
I rushed around grabbing some favourite items and remember sitting on the stairs outside on the morning the bailiffs went in feeling complete shock and despair.
I hit rock bottom and it’s only due to the support of my family (my sister took me in), a psychiatrist and medication that I’m still here now. I contemplated taking my life many times.
I was perceived as a failure, the huge success that my business enjoyed counted for nothing.
I’d lost my job, my home and many of my favourite possessions. The reasons why I still buy expensive items are complicated.
I’m 57 now and though I realise possessions and wealth aren’t everything, and I’ve learnt I am lovable without money, it’s hard to accept that your whole life has changed.
Being wealthy and having designer items was part of my identity and it’s hard to let it go. And I still enjoy that buzz of buying something beautiful.
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I think that’s why Katie Price is struggling too. She’s gone from immense wealth to nothing.
You go over and over in your head what you could have done differently. So you cling to what made you feel better in the past.
And she’s playing it out publicly, which must be much worse.
At the moment I’m single and living in a flat that was one of my rental properties, but I’m in dispute with my mortgage company so I’m aware I could still lose that.
I still endlessly search for bargains but I can’t get into debt as I’ve got no credit rating.
I work hard as a consultant and earn a fraction of my past salary so I save up for special purchases.
I’m resilient and know I will bounce back.
I know people will criticise me still spending but I’ve complied with everything I’ve had to do legally.
Spending and keeping a toe in my old world has helped me through this difficult time, and I always buy bargains.
I never judge people. Though there is such a stigma attached to being bankrupt there shouldn’t be. A few things going the wrong way can land anyone in a lot of financial trouble.
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One minute I was negotiating the sale of my business for millions, the next I had next to nothing, so I enjoy what I’ve got now.
- As told to MEL FALLOWFIELD
Get help: Don't suffer in silence
THE first thing to do when facing financial difficulty is to face up to it, says debt charity StepChange’s Jonathan Chesterman.
The debt advice policy manager adds: “Before entering into any solution for dealing with your debts, seek advice from a free and impartial debt advice provider like StepChange.
“The debt advice journey will allow you to assess your options and determine what may be the best course of action for your particular situation.
“Bankruptcy may be suitable if there is little hope of repaying your debt in a reasonable amount of time.
"But it also may be another type of solution which involves debt write-off, such as a Debt Relief Order, or Individual Voluntary Arrangement, or alternatively a plan for repaying your debt at an affordable rate through a Debt Management Plan.
“All of these solutions have different requirements and will vary based on your location.
“The most important thing is not to suffer in silence with your financial troubles. Free and non-judgmental help is available so you can get your finances and life back on track.”
l See stepchange.org for more.