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Thousands of classic 70s and 80s cars descend on astonishing festival of ‘time-warp’ motors – spot any you owned?
Some of these classics can be purchased for just £500
THEY were the boring cars we loved to hate.
But amazingly, the worst motors of the worst era in British motoring are now adored.
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This week more than 4,000 long-forgotten horrors such as the Austin Maxi, Allegro, Triumph Acclaim and Datsun Cherry were honoured in a unique hurrah for the humdrum.
Appropriately named Grimsthorpe Castle, in Lincolnshire, was the venue for the tenth anniversary Festival Of The Unexceptional.
While many car shows are struggling, this time capsule of the mundane has become a big success.
Festival chief judge Danny Hopkins says: “It’s in the DNA of Britishness to celebrate and elevate the ordinary.
“These are classic cars though not the ones that were on your bedroom wall when you were a teenager.
“They are the cars that were on your parents’ drive. Or your grandparents’ drive. Or your drive when you were younger.
“They’re the unremarkable cars that we all remember.
‘Nostalgia’s hell of a drug’
“The cars that we broke down in. The cars we passed our tests in. The cars that we brought our kids home from hospital in.”
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Who would have predicted that the likes of the Morris Marina and Lada Riva — the cheap, dowdy butt of jokes in the 1970s and 1980s — would end up so revered by enthusiasts?
Ten years ago just 35 motors — including half a dozen Austin Allegros, a Vauxhall Chevette and a Renault 6 — turned up at the debut celebration of unremarkable and unreliable cars from 1969 to 1999.
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The first winner was a 1984 Nissan Cherry GTi — the only one still in the UK — with a 1975 Austin Maxi as runner-up.
The following year 50 cars were there, including the Best in Show, a 1978 Ford Escort 1600. A 1974 Hillman Avenger Super Estate took the People’s Choice award.
By last year the proud owners of more than 3,000 bog-standard motors took part. The judges awarded a 1991 Daihatsu Applause the top prize — a mug of tea.
And last weekend a 1982 Toyota Hilux pick-up that worked on a strawberry farm took first place ahead of a bottom-of-the range 1998 Renault Clio.
The posh Goodwood Estate in West Sussex has a Festival Of Speed for racing cars through the ages while Lake Como in Italy boasts the Concorso d’Eleganza to show off supercars costing millions.
But at the Festival Of The Unexceptional, salesmen’s saloons, family motors and not-so-hot hatchbacks — including a Nissan Laurel Estate, a Vauxhall Nova saloon and a Yugo 45 — fought it out in the Concours de l’Ordinare.
A team of judges sat on a tartan rug drinking cups of tea and devouring custard creams to pick the best of the worst.
Judge Danny, 54, says: “These cars were often built down to a price, so they weren’t the most reliable vehicles. You had a love-hate relationship with them.
“Everyone who drove in the 1970s can empathise with the vision of Basil Fawlty smacking an Austin 1300 with a piece of tree.”
Adam Sloman, UK events manager for the show’s sponsors, classic car insurers Hagerty, says: “Nostalgia is a hell of a drug.
“My first car was a 998cc Mini City with brown vinyl seats.
“We all have a connection to the cars that come to the Festival Of The Unexceptional.
“The barrier to entry is really low. You can get a good car for £500.”
While most festivals champion top-of-the-range motors, here bog-standard basic models are cherished.
Adam says: “We had a guy last year who had an Austin Metro and he actually took out all of the extras that had been added. He replaced them with the original blanking plugs because the car wouldn’t have had these things as new.
“Then he had a display on his rear parcel shelf of all the upgrades he had removed to bring it back to its poverty spec.
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“I’m fiercely proud of British Leyland and Austin Rover. It’s great to see all the cars that came out of the Longbridge plant in Birmingham being cared for and given some love and attention.”
Many of the motors at the Festival Of The Unexceptional are the last ones left on the road as once these workhorse cars stopped being useful, they ended up in the scrapyard.
Of the 205,283 Austin Montegos in 1995, just 34 remain. Out of 231,824 Austin Maestros, only 90 are left.
They were the world's sh**tiest off-roader and now they have all but disappeared. They are an exclusive club
Danny Hopkins
And according to DVLA data, just 289 of the 572,974 Austin Metros built are still being driven.
In the ’70s and ’80s the French-made Renault 14 was very common, yet now there are only three left on the road in the UK — making them rarer than a Lamborghini Countach supercar from the same era.
‘Distinctive whiff’
Jon Coupland, 33, owns the sole 1989 Proton 1.5GL Black Knight saloon left in Britain.
The car was made in Malaysia and had seats stuffed with coconut husks.
Best of the worst
Best in show winners of the Festival of the Unexceptional
- 2014: Datsun/Nissan Cherry Europe Gti (1984)
- 2015: Ford Escort 1600 (1978)
- 2016: Morris 575 pickup (1980)
- 2017: Datsun Sunny 1.5GL (1983)
- 2018: Chrysler Alpine (1977)
- 2019: Morris Marine estate (1977)
- 2020: Covid – no winner
- 2021: Proton 1.5GL Black Knight (1989)
- 2022: Vauxhall Astra Merit (1994)
- 2023: Dihatsu Applause (1991)
- 2024: Toyota Hiluxe pickup (1992)
A total of 201 were made — one for each Proton dealership in the UK. Jon, a Lincolnshire detective, says: “The DVLA and Proton have confirmed that all the rest have been scrapped.”
He found the car — with just 3,600 miles on the clock — in a garage where the owner had kept it untouched for more than 30 years.
He entered it in the 2020 festival, which had to be cancelled because of Covid, but won top prize the following year.
Jon says: “Give me something that’s quite quaint and boring over a supercar any day.
“I get excited when I see a Perodua Kelisa, which at £5,000 was once the cheapest new car in Britain, rather than a Lotus.
“The event is a whole host of like-minded people coming together to enjoy cars that don’t normally get the spotlight.”
Judge Danny, editor of Practical Classics magazine, says he would walk past a line of James Bond’s favourite Aston Martin DB5s to sit in a Talbot-Matra Rancho.
He adds: “They were the world’s sh***est off-roader and now they have all but disappeared. They are an exclusive club.”
Lots of people at the festival wanted to sit in the cars and sniff that aroma of warm vinyl and glue.
Danny, whose first car was a Morris Marina 1.3L, says: “You can put me in a car with a blindfold on and I can tell you what it is by the smell alone.
"Every manufacturer used different types of vinyl and glue, so each car has a slightly distinctive whiff.
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“Those memories are imprinted on us because we sat in those cars for ever in traffic jams on the way to Cornwall.
“These days we live in a super-efficient, super-reliable world.
“But are we any happier? I don’t think we are.
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“The ability to get through the struggles that we used to have to contend with made us happier, in a funny way.
“That’s why people love this festival — it’s a celebration of imperfection.”
Gone but not forgotten
Here are some of the great makers of unexceptional motors who are no longer in business, and the last cars they produced
- Austin closed its doors in 1988. Last car: Austin Montego
- Daihatsu - Japan’s Daihatsu withdrew from Europe in 2013. Last car: Daihatsu Sirion
- Datsun - The Datsun name was phased out in favour of Nissan from the early 1980s. Last Car: Datsun Micra
- Daewoo – Came to the UK in 1995 before going bust in 2002. Last Car: Daewoo Matiz
- Lancia - Came to a grinding halt in the UK in 1993. Last Car: Lancia Delta
- Morris – Disappeared when the last Morris Ital was produced in
- 1984.
- Mitsubishi – Mitsubishi Automotive closed for business in the UK in 2021. Last Car: Mitsubishi Outlander
- Rover - Rover-built cars were sold to BMW - who flogged the name to the Phoenix Consortium in 2000 for £1. Production ended in 2005. Last Car: Rover 75
- Triumph - Was acquired by Leyland in 1960. The final vehicle to bear the name was in 1981. Last Car: Triumph Acclaim
- Yugo – Imported into the UK 1981 but closed in 1993 because of Yugoslav wars. Last Car: Yugo Zastava Koral