Donald Trump never forgets his enemies… and that is bad news for UK under PM Keir Starmer
AS Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni stared at him in jaw-dropping disbelief, President Joe Biden explained how he was going to avert famine in Gaza by dropping food supplies, medicine and other essential items into – er, what’s it called again? – oh yes, Ukraine.
“Aid flowing into Gaza is nowhere nearly enough,” mumbled this confused POTUS.
“In the coming days, we are going to join with our friends in Jordan and others who are providing airdrops of additional food in UKRAINE,” and the US will “seek to continue to open up other avenues in UKRAINE.”
My incredulous capitals.
Watch out for all those Russians when you drop your aid into Gaza, Mr President!
Biden is no longer capable of telling one war from another. But is Joe’s Tango-tanned rival for the US presidency that much better?
While Biden was muddling up Gaza with Ukraine, Donald Trump was cavorting at a conference in Washington, attempting to establish his patriotic credentials by hugging, fondling and indeed snogging the American flag while grotesquely murmuring, “I love you, baby!”
As if the Stars and Stripes was an Eighties porn star!
It beggars belief that in a country with a population of 340million, the only remaining candidates for the next president of the United States are these two self-serving old clowns.
But after Nikki Haley’s withdrawal from the race for the Republican nomination, Trump, 77, and Biden, 81, are the only options left standing.
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The next leader of the free world will be one of these narcissistic wrinklies — assuming that they live that long.
And the risible antics of these two deranged all-American duffers would be comical if the world was not a more dangerous place than it has been since 1945.
And it will get worse. Russia and Ukraine are locked in a war that neither can win.
The conflict between Israel and the Palestinians seems more likely to escalate than to end.
China covets Taiwan, and sees only weakness and decay in the White House.
If only we could look to the special relationship between the UK and US that is the foundation of all our freedoms.
But whoever wins the 2024 race for the White House, it is likely to be bad news for Britain.
No American president in history has ever been as openly and consistently hostile to the British as Joe Biden.
Trump has been — for all his flaws and foibles — a friend to this country, lavishly reverent to the late Queen, proud of his mother’s Scottish roots, quick to snarl at Mr and Mrs Markle when they poured their bile on Blighty.
But Trump will not be quite the same enthusiastic Anglophile with Keir Starmer in 10 Downing Street.
Biden may forget the difference between Gaza and Ukraine, or between his navel and the nuclear button, or between his ar*e and the President of Egypt.
But Trump NEVER forgets anyone who says a word against him.
And Labour is full of figures who have been viciously dismissive of the orange one.
Meet David Lammy, Mr President. “We need Donald Trump to go,” Lammy told LBC listeners in 2020, adding Trump was “so salacious . . . so obscene . . . uses racism so quickly.”
And have you met Angela Rayner, Don? She called you “a disgrace” — and our own Boris Johnson a “pound store Trump”. It wasn’t a compliment.
And meet our new Prime Minister Starmer — who has been knee-jerk nasty towards Trump right up to the moment it seems they will be in power at exactly the same moment in history.
“You don’t get to choose the other leaders around the world,” Starmer says.
“In a grown-up world, you have to make that relationship work.”
Dream on, Keir. There have been too many anti-Trump Labour soundbites.
That Tango-tinted skin is too thin for Trump to ever have any kind of relationship with a Labour-run UK.
At the end of Trump’s first term as President, Starmer bravely declared in a speech that he was “pro-American but anti-Trump.”
That should kill any possibility of a US-UK trade deal stone dead.
I have my reservations about Trump, who places his own preening ego above democracy.
But Labour has done nothing but spit poison at the Republican from the moment he entered politics.
And when a Labour government discovers there is no welcome at the Trump-run White House, it will be our country that pays the price.
In 2018, in a puerile protest against a state visit from a democratically elected US President, Labour London Mayor Sadiq Khan allowed protesters to fly a giant inflatable balloon depicting Donald Trump as a baby.
Remember that balloon? Remember that stunt designed to humiliate, to hurt and to mock?
Because I promise you this, comrades — Donald Trump does!
ALISON A PAW CHOICE
CHOOSING Alison Hammond to replace the late Paul O’Grady on For The Love Of Dogs is like getting Top Gear fronted by someone who has yet to apply for their provisional driving licence.
Alison has never owned a dog in her life.
She has never brought a puppy home and watched it grow.
She has never walked a dog in all weathers.
She has never sat up all night with a sick dog.
She has never had her heart ripped out by the death of a dog.
She can never replace Paul O’Grady, who made For The Love Of Dogs so compelling because he loved dogs even more than he loved people.
The next series of For The Love of Dogs is due to be broadcast later this year.
Reports suggest Alison has been intimidated by larger dogs but “loves cuddling up to the little ones.”
Oh, goodie.
“I want to find out about dogs,” Hammond gushed. “I’ve always wanted a dog.”
Then she should adopt one from Battersea.
She should not be presenting For The Love Of Dogs.
ITV – you must be barking.
VIEW TO A CILL
THE 96th Academy Awards kick off at 11pm GMT tomorrow night and, if there is any justice in the world, Cillian Murphy will win the Best Actor Oscar for his portrayal of Robert Oppenheimer.
If Murphy loses out to anyone then it is likely to be Bradley Cooper for his turn as composer Leonard Bernstein in Maestro.
But it is difficult to imagine anyone but Cillian Murphy with that Best Actor Oscar in their mitts.
So I had to chuckle when I saw that 007 producer Barbara Broccoli had been “keeping a close eye” on Murphy over the last year as a possible replace-ment for Daniel Craig.
The Best Actor gong will make the Peaky Blinders star the hottest actor in the world.
You – and the James Bond franchise – should be so lucky, Barbara.
Kristen in tight spot
KRISTEN Stewart caught the eye – and made eyes water – with the outfit she wore on the red carpet to promote her new film, Love Lies Bleeding.
“The existence of a female body thrusting any type of sexuality at you that’s not designed for exclusively straight males is something people are not super-comfy with,” Kristen explained about another look she wore for the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.
“And so I am really happy with it.”
Super-comfy? Kristen’s kit looked about as super-comfy as Borat’s lime green mankini.
VOTE IS RAY OF HOPE
A GENERAL election always throws up a key target group.
Essex Man. Mondeo Man. Worcester Woman.
At the next one, my money is on Ray Winstone Man.
“These c***s who are running the country,” the actor observes.
“Conservative or Labour or Liberal – they’re c***s. They’ve got no idea what people want.
“They don’t give a f***. I wouldn’t vote for one of them. I will not vote.”
I don’t doubt that millions feel like Ray. But democracy is all we have.
And for all the moaning about George Galloway becoming an MP again, he won his by-election fair and square.
And because most of the voters in Rochdale – more than 60 per cent of them – did a Ray Winstone and did not vote for anyone.
And if you can’t be bothered to vote for any of the c***s, then you get what you are given.
BORIS Johnson insists it is time to put tobacco-style warnings on all the ultra-processed foods that make us fat.
We’re now taking advice on how to lose weight from roly-poly BoJo?
This obesity crisis is worse than we thought.
SOME Caribbean nations are urging King Charles to apologise for the Royal Family’s ancestral links to the slave trade.
In 2023, the King said he felt “personal sorrow at the suffering of so many” because of the slave trade.
It was a sincere sentiment, eloquently expressed. What more do they want?
Meanwhile, the Church of England hopes to raise £1billion to address the legacy of slavery.
So people who never owned slaves will be giving money to people who were never slaves to change a past that can never be changed.
Makes sense.
Why does nobody ever ask the Africans and Arabs who sold slaves for centuries to apologise and to offer reparations?
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The Brits did not invent the slave trade, although we did more than any nation in history to end it.
I suppose an overdue “thank you” from a grateful world is out of the question?