WWE legend Nikki Bella reveals she was raped twice in high school in harrowing memoir
WWE legend Nikki Bella has opened up about her painful past by revealing that she was raped twice in high school.
In her new memoir, Incomparable — co-written with twin sister Brie — the two-time Divas Champion plans to empower others after sharing the harrowing details of the sexual assaults.
The Total Bellas star, 36, wrote that when she was 15 years old, she was attacked by a fellow high school student she "thought was a friend."
Months later, Nikki was assaulted again after being drugged by a college-aged man.
People magazine quote her as writing: "There is the horrible offence in the moment, and then the shame and blame that follow and feel almost worse than the original pain.
"When something like this happens to you, you understand the blame-the-victim mentality, how easy it is to feel shame rather than anger, how easy it is to feel like you could have stopped it yourself."
Future WWE Hall of Famer Nikki, who is expecting her first child with Strictly Come Dancing star fiance Artem Chigvintsev, admitted she spent years feeling ashamed and blamed herself for the horrific incidents.
If I'm having these younger women look up to me, maybe I can help them and have them not hold onto this as long as I did
Nikki Bella
She added: "When that happened to me, I immediately just felt so ashamed and blamed myself, and that's what made me want to keep it such a secret.
"And keeping that a secret and blaming myself, I started to lose my confidence. I started to disrespect myself. And then the relationships I got into at a young age, I let other people disrespect me and felt like, that's okay, this is what I deserved."
The retired WWE star revealed she went to therapy "on and off" for years to deal with the trauma but wishes she would have "let go" of the emotions earlier in life.
Nikki - real name Stephanie Nicole Garcia-Colace - now hopes sharing her story can help others struggling in a similar situation.
She wrote: "When the #MeToo movement happened, I was just like, 'Oh my gosh'.
"I feel like, if I'm having these younger women look up to me, maybe I can help them and have them not hold onto this as long as I did.
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"It wasn't until I was 28 and in a relationship where someone started to teach me how to respect myself. That's how long I held on to things and felt I had no boundaries.
"And I'd always look at Brie like, 'Oh, she has boundaries, she treats herself with such respect. How do I not have this?' And I knew why. But I held onto it for so long.
"When I look back at just decisions I made based off of it, I wish I could have heard my words now as a 36-year-old woman then, and be like, 'You're going to be OK.'"