After the recent social chaos and bad weather, it was a relief when the ice-cream van came around, so much so that I went out to buy one. Perhaps due to the chimes being the Match Of The Day theme, the van had attracted what nightclub reviews call, "an older crowd". In this case me, and the father (60s) and son (30s) team ahead of me, all waiting for the son's kids to make up their minds.
Son "How's the leg?"
Father (tapping his thigh) "The plate's there, I'm not sure about it yet."
Son "And the knee?"
Father "The knee's lovely, beautiful. The knee can go all day. I'm in again next week."
Son "What for?"
Father "Well, this is the other leg. Once you get to 60, this is how it goes. Stuff's falling off. It's crumbling."
Son "Don't tell me that."
Father "You've got it all to look forward to. How is Steph's arm?"
Son "Least of her problems."
Father "How so?"
Son "Well I found this picture on the internet, of our street, like 100 years ago. She didn't even recognise it."
Father "Well it's changed."
Son "It ain't that. She's ain't interested. Couldn't give a fuck."
Father "And is this is winding you up?"
Son "Yeah, as it happens."
Father "Well you brought it on yourself. What do you wanna show her a thing like that for?"
Son "I'm interested!"
Father "You want my advice? Steer clear of that internet. You get what you want too quickly, and what good did that ever do anyone?"
Son (annoyed) "You want an ice-cream?"
Father "No. You go on."