Good and bad news for comedy fans came in lightning quick succession recently. It was reported that Louis CK, widely regarded as one of the sharpest, most angrily brilliant stand-ups in the business, was going to be appearing in the UK on 20 March. Unfortunately this must-see gig was said to be planned for the must-avoid O2 Arena. Twitter went into the obligatory tizzy over the thought of having to pay good money to see a dot in the distance. Al Murray's response of "Argh" was typical.
Michael McIntyre and Peter Kay have to play lengthy runs at the 16,000 capacity O2 to please their phenomenally large fanbase, and Miranda Hart has just announced a 2014 tour which includes a one-off at the O2. This might make Hart the first female stand-up to play there, but from the upper tiers one will barely be able to see her fall over except on the video screens. This is what a Peter Kay gig looks like for many.
Appearing at the O2 might be good for business, in other words, but it's not necessarily good for comedy. I'm not entirely against massive gigs, but they are simply not what stand-up should be about. Comedy should be all about communication and intimacy. At the O2 Arena it is more about bombast, hot dogs and those darn video screens.
According to some, it is not even good for business. In a Twitter exchange with Al Murray, who played the O2 in 2009, he said that the logistics make the break-even point very high and that he did it for "shits, giggles, to see what it was like and – rawly – for status. But it's a pain in the hole to play." Which may explain that last time Murray's Pub Landlord pulled the pints onstage in the capital it was at the much cosier Queen's Theatre.
Murray touched on something undeniable here: for comics, surely it's as much about status as bank balance. Stand-ups have to do it to be seen as part of the Patter Premier League. Alongside McIntyre, Kay and stalwarts Eddie Izzard and Lee Evans, John Bishop, Jason Manford and Louis CK's chum Ricky Gervais have also done their time at the old Millennium Dome, while Micky Flanagan's upcoming run puts him in the same bracket.
Yet it really doesn't have to be this way. Billy Connolly could fill the O2 many times over but prefers to do long runs at the Hammersmith Apollo. When Reeves and Mortimer's Shooting Stars and The Fast Show did a joint month at the Apollo in 1998. Sarah Millican could have probably been the first female to break the O2 barrier, but she has opted for the Apollo on her next tour – to her credit.
At the time of writing this Louis CK's tickets have not gone on sale yet. Maybe the contract has not been signed; perhaps it is not too late for his people to have a rethink. In 2007 a brilliant stand-up gig was staged in my lounge. Note to Louis CK – If you are reading this I can move the sofa and fit you in on 20 March.