What I secretly want to tell my headteacher

It is vital to have a strong relationship with the headteacher at your school – from both a professional and emotional perspective. The best heads nurture and support staff, while also trusting them to succeed in the classroom. But as in any work scenario, the power dynamic can sometimes cause friction and disagreements – and ironing out such conflicts can be a challenge.

We asked teachers to share their personal experiences of difficult relationships with their heads, and what they privately wish they could tell them.

Alex: ‘There’s a sense of fear’

“My headteacher governs through fear. No one really says anything, but everyone thinks it. If you don’t get the results he wants, you’ll be out of a job. I’ve heard stories where he’s walked into classrooms in front of the kids and pulled displays off the walls because he doesn’t like them – or ripping pages out of children’s books.

“His expectations are completely wild; they’re basically unattainable. He’s never once asked what we want from our classes. It seems to very much be about just getting data and results.

“The support is pretty much non-existent. Instead of coming and telling me something directly, he’ll show me up in front of the whole school. And he can never even remember my name.

“I’d like him to trust the staff a bit more. If he took a step back, he’d realise that people are trying really bloody hard. Everyone in the school cares about the kids.”

Hannah: ‘I feel like one of his pupils’

“I have a lot of respect for my head – I think he runs the school in a really impressive manner. He’s turned the school around and you can’t argue with the results that he’s got. But I just don’t have that much of a relationship with him.

“He’s quite a distant figure and I feel like one of his pupils. It’s as if he’s our headmaster as well as the children’s. He’s quite authoritarian in the way that he does things and the senior management team are very tight-knit. So I feel keen to keep anything that’s problematic under wraps.

“They do consult with us, but it doesn’t matter what they get from the consultation unless it agrees with what they were going to do anyway. It’s not a case of not being hands-on, it’s simply a matter of being not very attached on a social level. As an adult woman, I would like to feel less like a child around him.”

Pauline: ‘He’s way too flirty’

“You’ll get on a lot better at my school if you don’t mind flirting with the headteacher. It makes me really angry to think about how outrageous it is. There’s been rumours of him having flings with a couple of female members of staff, but no one dares to say anything about it upfront.

“I think his attitude towards women comes across in all sorts of situations. He’s way too flirty, and he can also be really patronising and belittling. He would never be like that to the male teachers. It’s so humiliating.”

Simon: ‘She doesn’t greet staff in the corridors’

“I have a difficult relationship with my headteacher because she doesn’t greet staff in the corridors unless they agree with everything she says. The slightest questioning of her attitude towards students, or her disagreeing with something you wish to implement in your own department, means that she won’t greet you, even in front of students.

“Once our relationship deteriorated, it was difficult to bring it back to a professional interaction, especially as I knew my views were only accepted and listened to if they were in agreement with hers. I would like to tell my headteacher to grow up and be professional, as in a school setting we are meant to be role models to the students.

“There is no room for childish behaviour from adults. I would like a leader who inspires me to improve my work – and who praises me for work completed to a high standard – and not one who will simply criticise me without taking my work into account.”

Amy: ‘I was wrong about her’

“I’m moving to a new job in a different school soon, but I’m going to really miss my headteacher. It took me a long time to warm to her, to be honest. At first, I found her annoying and quite patronising. I always felt like she was going to criticise me and judge me. But eventually we built up a bit of mutual respect and I can now see that I was wrong about her.

“She’s actually a really good headteacher – and a lovely person as well. It’s a shame it took so long to get to this point, and now I’m leaving. Obviously, I’m really hoping my new headteacher will be just as good. Fingers crossed.”

*Names and some personal details have been changed.