Mark Watson, Alex Horne and Tim Key, the co-hosts of BBC4's We Need Answers, have bonked their heads together and come up with this taxing quiz. In order for it to be absolutely comprehensive they've split the world into 12 sections (at last) and divvied the sections up among themselves. Alex will ask you things about Numbers, Animals and Nature Generally, Miscellaneous and Technology; Mark is going to test you on Sport, Politics, Children (and short people) and Books, while Tim will see how much you know about the Arts, the Chilean Mining, the Cooking and the People. There are a maximum of 100 points, but the pass mark is 55. Probably best if you play in teams or pairs or on a long car journey or at breakfast. Good luck. Please go to the end for the answers
POLITICS
Mark Watson
Well, quite a year for politics. Normally it's all local elections or European elections and even Paxman struggles to get interested. This year we had a proper election, and one which went on for most of April as they tried to work out if anyone had won. Let's see what you remember of this turbulent political period.
1 As you might recall, there was a very weird general election this year which nobody won. The Tories eventually came out as the majority party in government, but what percentage of the national vote did they actually get? Four points for getting it bang on, two for getting within 2%, and one consolation point if you team up with someone who you don't like but who DOES know the answer. And that, my friends, was a bit of satire.
2 What was notable about the new Australian PM, Julia Gillard? (a) Tallest leader in Australian history, (b) actually born in Wales, (c) previously a pop singer or (d) nothing notable about her at all.
3 One of the new government's first acts was to abolish a large number of the existing quangos. How many points is QUANGOS worth in Scrabble? Assume the "O" is over a double-letter score, the whole word is over a double-word score, and on top of that you get your Bingo Bonus for using all seven of your tiles. Nice job.
4 The US midterm elections brought more attention to the world's most frightening person, Sarah Palin. But after which beautiful UK city is Palin's daughter named?
5 Semi-political question: the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death was remembered this year with the usual incessant playing of his anti-capitalist, anti-materialist classic "Imagine". Which pop legend was so shocked by the extravagance of Lennon's lifestyle that he wrote: "Imagine six apartments, it isn't hard to do/One is full of fur coats, another full of shoes"?
NUMBERS
Alex Horne
After all that business with "two thousand and four" and "two thousand and nine", "twenty ten" was a satisfying year to pronounce. To celebrate this fact, because it is a fact, here are some questions about numbers, the last of which requires some truly mental arithmetic.
6 After 18 months and 40 focus groups, Wenlock, the Olympic mascot, was finally revealed in May. How many eyes does he have?
7 A-levels have got exactly 20% easier every year since they were introduced in 1951, but what percentage of A-level students received the new A* mark this year?
8 I know it's important, but I think this is quite a boring question: since March, how much stamp duty do first-time buyers have to pay on properties costing less than £250,000?
9 Which banknote was taken out of UK circulation in May this year because 90% of the notes were used by criminals?
10 According to the May edition of the British Medical Journal, what was the range of motion of head above which headbangers might cause mild injury to their heads (I'm looking for an angle here)?
Here's Horne's Helpful Hint: if you add all these numbers together you should get the same number that South Africa declared on on the second day of the second Test against Pakistan in November.
THE ARTS
Tim Key
It's been a strong year for the arts. Yet again we've had full television schedules and people offering up operas, reality TV formats and sculptures to keep us entertained between chores. But what can you remember about these art-related landmarks?
11 How many D was Avatar in? (a) 1, (b) 2, (c) 3 or (d) 4.
12 Ai Weiwei put loads and loads of seeds into Tate Modern in the name of art, but after a bit people weren't allowed to tread on them because this made people have asthma. But how many seeds made up Weiwei's art? (a) 20, (b) 10 million, (c) 100 million or (d) an infinite amount of seeds (also causing massive repercussions in terms of budget).
13 Who did Susan Boyle perform to this year (among others)? (a) Obama, (b) the Pope, (c) Graham Gooch and his family or (d) Nelson Mandela.
14 About whom did Albanian prime minister Sali Berisha say: "I was deeply saddened to hear about the death of one of the greatest actors of world comedy, a particularly favourite actor of the Albanian audience and one of the dearest friends of our nation"?
15 Which comedian spent £3,300 on a cab from Oslo to Brussels because of Iceland's controversial policy of firing millions of tons of ash into the air in April? (a) Russell Brand, (b) John Cleese, (c) French and Saunders or (d) someone from My Family.
ANIMALS AND NATURE GENERALLY
Alex Horne
No other species does annual quizzes, for a variety of reasons, including not being so fussed about the whole year system. But not wanting them to miss out entirely, here are some questions about things other than humans.
16 Three points available here if you can name the two surviving Blue Peter dogs, that cat that woman put in that bin and the football-loving German octopus…
17 What was the name of the volcano in Iceland that caused all those problems (one point if you can sort of say it, two points if you can sort of spell it, 10 points if you can actually say it and spell it)?
18 What was the name of the drilling rig that sank in April, causing the largest offshore oil spill in US history? For five bonus points, where was the rig registered?
19 What deadly creature invaded Sydney in January? And without wanting to give too much away, four bonus points if you can say what sort of a web it makes.
20A tragic tongue twister! Say the sort of shark swimming so savagely in Sharm el Sheikh.
Here's Horne's Helpful Hint: the capital of the country in question 18 is Majuro. Much easier now.
THE CHILEAN MINING
Tim Key
In summer something collapsed or there was an explosion and some Chileans got trapped in their mine until autumn. This put Chile on the map and reignited our passion for mining. But how well do you remember the details of this life-affirming though sometimes overlong human-interest story?
21 In the end, did they get the miners out by (a) syringe, (b) person pipe, (c) coaxing with Maltesers, (d) osmosis or (e) sending down a mythological creature similar to an eagle who hauled them out one by one?
22 When they emerged alive from the mine, were the Chileans forced to wear (a) sunglasses, (b) aprons, (c) foil blankets or (d) denim shirts with leather patches on the elbows?
23 Yonni Barrios – who administered pills in the pit and was nicknamed House after the American Hugh Laurie's grumpy doctor character – was offered $100,000 to do what with his post mine-rescue life? (a) Take on a governmental role in Chile's health ministry, (b) become the face of an online dating service, (c) run marathons in his mining gear, (d) appear as himself in a cameo in an episode of House, (e) appear as a series regular in an episode of Casualty or (f) edit Holby City.
24 Which actor is in pole position to get the rights to the Chilean miners movie? (a) Pacino, (b) Cage, (c) Pitt, (d) Winslet or (e) Woodyatt.
25 What additional tragedy befell Chile in March? Clue: it rated 8.8 on the Richter scale.
SHORT PEOPLE/CHILDREN
Mark Watson
Taller people tend to get more attention in this world, purely because they're easier to spot. As a result it's easy to get the impression that nothing of import is ever done by short people. This section aims to redress the balance.
26 During the autumn some of the nation was transfixed by the unsightly dancing of Ann Widdecombe and her partner Anton du Beke. What is du Beke's real name? And for a bonus point, remember when he was involved in that racism scandal, but got away with it? Lucky bugger, wasn't he? Discuss. (a) Jonathan Bean, (b) Tony Beke, (c) Horace Johnson or (d) Anthony Beckenham.
27 Squeaky-voiced 16-year-old Justin Bieber became a terrifyingly real force in the music world this year. At the time of going to press, how many followers does this tiny menace have on Twitter? (a) 6.2 million, (b) none; he's recently deleted his account, (c) 3.4 million or (d) 18 million.
28 This year one of the We Need Answers hosts became a dad for the first time; one, at the time of writing, was about to become a dad for the second time; one didn't even get close to becoming a dad. Who's who?
29This year's series of The Apprentice, hosted by small computer salesman Alan Sugar, had to be moved six months back from its usual slot in spring for an unusual reason. What was this?
30How old would Hitler have been this year if all those conspiracy theories were true and he was alive all along and preparing to return with a less "ambitious" project? (Clue: it's really old. So even if he hadn't died in that bunker, he would still almost certainly have died all over again by now, if you see what I mean.)
THE COOKING
Tim Key
I have no special interest in cooking and I imagine that cooking shouldn't have its own section in a quiz. But it has got its own section and I have had to Google things like "cooking" and "2010". It wasn't pretty. Here are the questions.
31 Which of this quiz's question-makers was kicked off ITV's flagship cooking show Kitchen Burnout for being shit at cooking? (a) Mark Watson, (b) Alex Horne, (c) Tim Key or (d) it's Mark Watson.
32 Passionate East Anglian Delia Smith flogged over 60m of her cookbooks this year, mostly to my mum, but which large-tongued chef sold over 40m more copies of his glossy tome, making him the most successful of all our wonderful chefs? And for a bonus point, which non-cooking author is the only person ahead of him in the charts?
33 What food did Gazza (the finest footballer of his generation) offer Raoul Moat (the dreadful serial killer) when he pitched up to help sort things out at the end of Moat's grim killing spree? (a) Baked camembert with crushed black peppercorns and garlic, (b) vegetarian lasagne, (c) yogurt or (d) chicken.
34 Which TV chef pulled out of a speaking tour in New Zealand and was sued for a million quid? (a) Antony Worrall Thompson, (b) Nigella Lawson, (c) Raymond Blanc, (d) Gary Rhodes, (e) Rick Stein, (f) Gordon Ramsay, (g) The Hairy Bikers, (h) Gregg Wallace, (i) James Martin, (j) Heston Blumenthal, (k) Anjum Anand, (l) Madhur Jaffrey, (m) Loyd Grossman, (n) Greg Torode, (o) Ainsley Harriott, (p) Brian Turner, (q) Clarissa Dickson Wright, (r) Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, (s) Jean-Christophe Novelli, (t) Ken Hom, (u) Matt Dawson, (v) Kevin Woodford, (w) Paul Rankin, (x) Sophie Grigson, (y) Valentine Warner or (z) Michel Roux Jr
35 Is the amount of TV chefs these days (a) about right, (b) too many or (c) might be room for a few more?
MISCELLANEOUS
Alex Horne
The word "miscellaneous" comes from the Latin verb miscere, meaning "to mix", and if you mix up the letters of "miscellaneous" you get "semolina clue" and a clue for these questions is that the answers join up to make a sentence which could also be a useful motto for life. Lovely.
36 According to this year's rich list, the Mittal family is the richest in Britain, with £22.5bn more than me (they have £22.5bn). How did they get all that honk?
37 What did Lady Gaga wear on her head when she appeared on Friday Night with Jonathan Ross in March? Was it a) a telephone, b) some meat, c) five little eggs, d) unknown or e) a small dog?
38 This question should probably be in the numbers section, but there wasn't room… How many months had five Thursdays in 2010?
39 What sort of a day will it be when appealing Welsh opera lady Katherine Jenkins appears in Doctor Who?
40 Complete the sequence: Poppy – Daisy – Petal – ?
Here's Horne's Helpful Hint: see the semolina clue above. Right then, Mark's turn again.
SPORT
Mark Watson
Good old sport! Whether it was by playing football, cricket or one of those funny ones like lacrosse, people this year continued to defy economic experts' prediction that sport would have died out by the end of 2010. Here are some questions about what happened sports-wise.
41 Roger Federer went out of Wimbledon in the quarter-finals this year, but he was very nearly beaten in the first round in what would probably have been the biggest shock in the tournament's history. Can you name the man who nearly beat him, for four points (it's a hard one, I realise)? Or for two points, the player's nationality? Or for a consolation point, state whether or not eventual winner Rafa Nadal looks a bit like a rabbit.
42 Name either of the miserable waste-of-space teams who didn't score a single goal at the 2010 World Cup.
43 Who won the European Water Polo Championship? (a) Serbia, (b) Croatia, (c) Germany or (d) How am I meant to get that? I'm not even going to bother guessing.
44 Qatar was awarded the 2022 World Cup, despite the fact that it doesn't really have any stadiums yet, not many people live there, and it is so hot that anyone attempting to play football there would die instantly. And also despite the fact that it has no real footballing history at all. In fact, when was Qatar's only World Cup Finals appearance? (a) 1950, (b) trick question; They've never even got there. What a farce, (c) 1974 or (d) 1934.
45During England's hiding of Australia in the second Ashes Test in Adelaide, the hosts' Ryan Harris achieved a "king pair". What is a "king pair" and who is the only ever other Australian to get one? (Clue: it's not some sort of Mickey Mouse player. It's a really good one. Quite a recent one. One of those who always used to get millions of runs against us. That's what makes it an interesting question. I'm pleased with it.)
THE PEOPLE
Tim Key
The news wouldn't be the news without people in it, and yet again humans have been all over the front pages. But how closely have you been monitoring the actions of the following golfers, Christians and other individuals?
46 After Tiger Woods was found to be bonking 10,000 porn stars and his beautiful, intelligent Scandinavian wife smashed his car in with a 5-iron, the world number one slipped down the rankings. How far had he fallen by the end of the year? (a) Second, (b) third, (c) 10th or (d) 110th. For a bonus point, how boring was Tiger's press conference where he apologised for all the bonking?
47 Which long-legged lady was caught up in a scandal involving a despot, some grubby diamonds and cheerful political reformist Nelson Mandela?
48 In October 2010 Anna Chapman posed on the cover of Maxim magazine in Russia in Agent Provocateur undies. Six months prior to this no one had heard of her and she was just going around with all her clothes on. What July news story did she star in, ultimately leading to her being named one of Russia's top 100 sexiest women and inspiring her to disrobe for cash?
49 Stephen Hawking wrote another book this year. In this one he asserts that the universe wasn't created by God, which is true. He theorises: "M-theory is the unified theory Einstein was hoping to find." Not really a question, but Stephen Hawking is extremely clever and it's great to have him around, I think.
50 The Pope came! Cheeky so-and-so. But which event had the higher attendance? The Hyde Park Prayer Vigil or the march from Hyde Park Corner to Downing Street in protest against the mascara-wearing pensioner? For a bonus point, what's the top speed of the popemobile and is the word "popemobile" written anywhere on the vehicle?
TECHNOLOGY
Alex Horne
I now have an iPhone. It's an incredible piece of equipment that can do things people wouldn't have believed just 10 years ago. But I keep my one in my pocket and quite a lot of dust has got under the plastic cover, so it looks shabby. Here are some technology questions.
51 David Hockney lives in Bridlington, but does he own an iPad? (a) Yes, (b) no (c) don't know, (d) n/a?
52 Gadget types like to refer to new versions of things as new generations, as if they were people. If they really were, what relation would the new Kindle DX (released in August this year) be to the original Kindle DX (released in June 2009), presuming that they're both males: a) son, b) grandson, c) great-grandson or d) male cousin?
53 Is the new iPod nano bigger or smaller than a first-class stamp?
54 How many space tourists were there in 2010? How many of them were men? How many of them were American? How many of them were called Hank?
55 Which two sorts of technology (one that exists and one that you can invent) would have brought us level with the Germans at the World Cup, for a bit anyway?
Here's Horne's Helpful Hint: if you press "command" "shift" "3" on a MacBook, it'll take a picture of whatever's on your screen and save it on the desktop (not that helpful for the quiz, but in the long term even more useful maybe).
LITERATURE
Mark Watson
Books were another tradition to overcome various challenges this year, including the emergence of hand-held reading devices, the lack of leisure time to read, and the continued problem that many books are awful. Here are some questions about the small number of books not about crime or vampires this year.
56 The highest-profile literary release of the year was Freedom by Jonathan Franzen. It's about some clever Americans having relationship problems. But there's also a large amount of information about which species of bird which one character gets obsessed with? (a) Hummingbird, (b) Cerulean Warbler, (c) Peregrine Falcon or (d) I can't really differentiate between types of bird.
57 And at a book launch in London, which item did Franzen have stolen by a local joker? (a) Glasses, (b) soul, (c) suede jacket, (d) hotel room card or (e) 3,500 pages of notes on tree frogs for next novel.
58 Kindred spirits Katie Price and Nelson Mandela both published books this year. Price's was called You Only Live Once, which in her case is something of a relief. How many "non-fiction" books has she now put her name to? (a) One, (b) three, (c) four or (d) more than 100. For a bonus point: Price has loads of middle names – name any of them.
59 Howard Jacobson's Booker Prize victory with The Finkler Question continues an astonishing run of success for titles beginning with "The". Six out of the last seven winners have begun with that magic word. What's the odd one out? Up to five bonus points for any of those previous winning books you can name, summarise the plot of, and give a full critical assessment of.
60 This year people inexplicably began reading books by disregarding iPads and Kindles and whatnot. Kindle becomes, after Google, the latest word ending in "le" to lend itself to a technological breakthrough. What will the next one be in 2011? (a) Fondle, (b) Dwindle, (c) Poodle or (d) Trundle. You can claim your points in a year's time. So don't forget to remember your tally and buy the Observer this time next year so you can do the necessary maths.
THE ANSWERS
1. 36.1%
2. (b ) Welsh
3. 86 – enough to put you in control of the game
4. Bristol
5. Elton John
6. 1
7. 8
8. 0
9. 500 Euros
10. 75 degrees (all of which add up to a total of 584, which South Africa declared on against Pakistan in the second Test in November. De Villiers topscored with an unbeaten 278, but the match ended up being drawn)
11. (c) 3
12. (c) 100 million
13. (b) The pope
14. Norman Wisdom
15. (b) John Cleese
16. Lucy and Barney, Lola and Paul
17. Eyjafjallajökull
18. Deepwater Horizon Registered in the Marshall Islands
19. The funnel-web spider
20. The whitetip shark
21. (b) A person-pipe
22. (a) Sunglasses
23. (b) Become the face of an online dating service
24. (c) Pitt
25. An earthquake hit Chile in February, with 486 lives lost
26. (b) And it's pronounced Tony Beak. And yes, he was
27. (a) 6.2 million
28. Two for Horne; one for Watson; Key not on the board yet
29. Oh, he became a Labour advisor and there was an election and it would have looked bad on the BBC and so, long story short, they went for the autumn
30. 121
31. (a) or (d) both acceptable.
32. Jamie Oliver. And for a bonus point JK Rowling's still shifting more books than anyone else as we continue to be beguiled by her babyish fantasies
33. (d) Chicken
34. (f) Gordon Ramsay
35. (c) Especially more foul-mouthed or curvaceous ones
36. Steel
37. (a) A telephone
38. 4
39. Christmas.
40. Buddy (the name of shouty chef Jamie Oliver's fourth child - meaning that these answers spell out this touching message: steal a telephone for Christmas, Buddy)
41. Alejandro Falla, from Colombia. Nadal does indeed look a bit like a rabbit
42. Honduras, Algeria
43. (b) Croatia
44. It was a trick question. The chumps have never got to the World Cup, even though they'd only have to beat teams like Saudi Arabia to qualify. And now they're hosting it. I mean, I ask you
45. A golden duck in each innings. The other one was Adam Gilchrist. See what I mean? Not what you'd think. Enjoyed that question
46. (a) Second. Tiger's press conference was boring. He didn't describe his encounters using any rude words
47. Naomi Campbell
48. She was that spy woman who got deported back to Russia after being found sneaking around in New York
49. Top banana
50. His prayer vigil was far more popular. 80,000 came. 10,000 marched; 160mph, and The Pope has scrawled "Popemobile" on to the bell with a compass
51. Yes. He paints with it
52. (b) Grandson
53. Bigger. A first-class stamp could fit on an iPod Nano and there would just be enough room for the address, too, so you could post it to someone that way
54. 0. 0. 0. 0
55. Goal-line technology, and something like a football catapult that Gerrard could strap on his back and would fling the ball into the goal at an unstoppable velocity
56. (b) Cerulean Warbler
57. (a) His specs were nicked
58. (c) four. Amy Alexandria Alexis
59. Wolf Hall. The other ones were all things like The Life of Pi, about someone having all sorts of adventures at sea, or The White Tiger, about someone having various adventures in India, or The Inheritance of Loss which is too forbidding a title to read
60. We don't know yet
Tim Key tours his award-winning poetical stage show The Slutcracker in February. His debut album, Tim Key With a String Quartet on a Boat, is available to buy on vinyl. Details of both at timkey.co.uk
Alex Horne and his magnificent band present jazz-comedy-romp The Horne Section every other Monday at the Lyric Theatre, Shaftesbury Avenue, London, from 31 January. They've also made a surprisingly professional CD. Details of both at alexhorne.com
Mark Watson's new novel, Eleven, is out now and appears in 12 countries next year, in case you're reading this in Poland or something. He's the host of ITV4's Mark Watson Kicks Off, which is just as well, given the name of the show. He'll be touring for a lot of next year. Details of all this at markwatsonthecomedian.com