My husband flashed photos of our newborn baby to seduce his mistress
DEAR DEIDRE: My husband flashed photos of our newborn baby to show off to his mistress and used my family allowance to spoil her. I’m so hurt and angry - I’ve never felt such turmoil.
His workplace affair started within weeks of me giving birth. I suspected something straight away as he was distant and didn’t seem to want to be involved with me or our baby.
It took me months of asking what was wrong before he finally confessed to his affair.
He only admitted to straying when I quizzed him about the large sums of money he was withdrawing from our account.
He finally told me about this colleague who was struggling. Apparently he felt so bad he lent her a total of £650, oh, and had sex, several times with her.
I was so angry I smashed a plate and threw a mug of tea which landed feet away from him.
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I literally couldn’t get my breath. The shock of his affair stopped me being able to continue to breastfeed
I am 38 and my husband is 41. We have been together for eight years. Despite what he has put me through, it hasn’t stopped me from loving him or caring for him after he had minor surgery a few days ago.
I am not a cold person. We had sex a few weeks ago but he has since told me that he hadn’t wanted to. I have never felt so rejected.
He says he knows he has been stupid and he loves me. All my family and friends tell me what a good person I am, always giving and helping but I must be doing something wrong or missing something, otherwise why would he cheat on me.
He is pleading with me to give him another chance but I am not sure I can.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Please don’t blame yourself. Your husband has put you in a difficult position and it will be hard for you to trust him again.
Tell him rebuilding the lost trust does not happen automatically overnight. He has to work at it.
You need to give yourself time. Having not long given birth you are vulnerable and will be experiencing many changes as your hormones fluctuate.
Please lean on friends and family for support.
To be making any life changing decisions now may not be in your best interests nor that of your son’s for the future.
My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help you to think this through.