Loran Slape, 60, from Portsmouth, lost her dad last year and now cares for her elderly mum and her husband, who has neutropenia
IF anyone is in need of a bit of pampering this Mother’s Day, it’s our Fabulous Mum of the Year Loran Slape.
Not only has she experienced her own health problems, but she was there every step of the way for daughter Natalie Kingsmill, 35, who battled a brain tumour two years ago.
She also helped daughter Beth, 33, escape from a deeply unhappy relationship that gave her panic attacks and welcomed her and her children back into the family home.
Loran recently lost her dad and organised his funeral from her hospital bed, while she recovered from major surgery on her lung.
It was Beth who nominated Loran, a retired nurse from Portsmouth, for our award.
From when my mum gets up in the morning to when she goes to bed, she’s doing everything for everyone else. She’s sacrificed her whole life for us – she’s my best friend in the world.
She was the one that rescued me from a previous overbearing relationship, and she never made me feel guilty for how difficult our lives became during that time.
I lost so much weight. I went down to six-and-a-half stone, and I used to shake all the time and get panic attacks. Mum said she lost her little girl because I completely changed. I wasn’t bubbly and cheerful like I was before.
I didn’t want to hurt my mum or make her upset, but she was desperate for me to end the relationship, and it was her who gave me the strength to do it in the end, and she got me through it.
Mum allowed me to keep my job as a dental nurse by looking after my boys. She’s like a second mum to them. If I could clone her and have her as everyone’s mum, everyone would be happier.
She’s been through so much. She had two stillborn babies – my brother should be here, he was 15 days over his due date and that’s when he died, they left him too late. She also lost her dad in September.
She nursed my granddad, giving him 24-hour care before he went into a hospice, then stayed with him every night until she died. Now she has my nan to care for, and she never moans, she just gets on with it.
My dad’s also really poorly, he’s got neutropenia, which makes his immune system really weak, so she looks after him too.
She just seems to have met obstacle after obstacle in life and she’s still this beautiful person that everyone wants to be around. She’s a one off. She’ll be so humbled by this prize.
I was diagnosed with a brain tumour in August 2015. I’d been having persistent headaches and was really sick with them. I’d been back and forth to the GP but they were passed off as stress and tension, as my husband Darren (43) and I were moving house at the time.
I remember the last time I went to the doctor, it was a Tuesday. I ended up having an emergency MRI scan the following morning then on the Friday I was in neurointensive care.
My consultant said had the GP that time not taken me seriously and sent me for a scan, I had around three weeks left to live. It was really traumatic.
Throughout that time, mum was there. I don’t know how, but she just drops everything and throws herself into these situations.
While I recovered from my brain surgery, which is a very lengthy process, she moved into my house and didn’t leave my side for months.
Having her there was so reassuring – she provided the compassionate, emotional support I needed, which sometimes was more important than helping me wash my hair and practical things like that.
I found out a month ago that the tumour has unexpectedly come back. Radiotherapy is absolutely on the cards this time. Knowing I’ve got all this again to come is horrible, but I know she’ll be there for me.
Mum retired in December – she worked as a nurse for around 40 years – and what’s sad is this should be a really amazing time for her, but it’s barely been recognised because she’s been so busy looking after us all.
What sums up Mum’s situation is that she herself was really poorly last year, just before my grandad passed away. She went to hospital for a major operation on her lung - they thought it was cancer but it wasn’t, thank goodness.
While she was recovering in hospital, my grandad died - and she arranged the funeral from her hospital bed. I don’t know how she manages; she never has any time to herself.
To come up to London for a make-over and then enjoy a spa weekend away, she’ll absolutely love it!
Loran said: "I was so amazed to have won, I couldn't believe it. Until the day of the shoot came I didn't tell anyone because I couldn't believe it was real. Thank you so much!
"It's my girls that keep me going - they do give me recognition, all the time. I couldn't have looked after my dad without these girls.
"Natalie's been so brave, to go through all that, and then she's got to go through it again, it's not fair - it's a lot when you're that young.
"It's hard when you're the mum in that situation, and Nat's such a beautiful mum to her little boy. But we'll get through it - we've done it once."
Loran's prize was a fantastic photoshoot and pamper session at our studios and a spa weekend for two at Champneys.
Make-up and hair by Olivia Todd
Throughout this week we've brought you our incredible runner-up stories.
Moira Scott went without her own bedroom for 20 years for the sake of her kids and has dedicated her life to caring for her mother with dementia.
Brave Stacey Mustill, 38, who woke up to find her husband dead at Christmas, has raised £26,000 and set up a charity in his memory.
And mum-of-two Kim Thursfield, who miscarried two babies and had to leave her job due to prenatal depression, has gone on to launch TWO successful theatre schools.
A huge thank you to everyone who entered the Fabulous Mum of the Year competition. Happy Mother's Day!
