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I’M beginning to get seriously worried that the poor Americans will spend the next four years doing the Kamala Walz.
I know the US election maybe isn’t at the top of your list of stuff to worry about right now.
But it’s deadly important. Not just for the Yanks, but for us too.
And the polls right now are shifting fairly firmly in favour of the former Vice President Kamala Harris, who is denser than a sack of spanners.
And her running mate — the even worse Tim “Wokey Wokey” Walz.
Just a month or so ago Donald Trump looked as if he were going to cruise to victory against a senile sitting President, Joe Biden.
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Now, I know that in normal times that might not be something to celebrate.
But boorish as Trump may be, his tenure as President was a damn sight better than anything we’ve seen from the almost dead Biden.
Back then, Trump was ahead in the polls. More importantly he was quite a distance ahead in the crucial swing states where American elections are usually decided.
The Democrats staged a fairly vicious coup. Senior Democrats told Joe he’d have to step down. Or they’d confiscate his catheter and steal his Werther’s Originals, or something.
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And so Biden went and Kamala Harris, who has been a spectacularly useless vice president, and was only put there to keep the lefties happy, has been installed instead.
And the bad news keeps on coming. Because now Kamala has chosen a running mate who seems to me even dimmer than she is. And even further to the left.
Walz is the governor of Minnesota, which has always been a fairly left-wing state. But even the lefties are sick of him there.
He was a disaster as governor. Crime has soared under his watch — not least because he takes the left-wing line that we should probably abolish the police completely and let everybody police themselves.
That’s the policy which has turned all of America’s liberal cities into crime-ridden hellholes.
Turns out that if you defund the police, the local crims don’t turn into saints and stop nicking stuff. They do it all the more.
Anyway, folks are getting the hell out of Minnesota at a remarkable rate. Largely because of the appalling crime rate.
All this in what was once one of the USA’s safer states to live in.
Hostile to our interests
Student achievement has also dropped alarmingly. Some say this is the consequence of “progressive” policies to increase ethnic diversity and so on.
You can expect all that dangerous rubbish to be on the agenda for the Harris-Walz presidency. Every bit of right-on rubbish that has plagued the country for two decades.
If that was the sum total of the problems, we could just leave the Yanks to get on with it.
Sadly, though, it isn’t. The problem for us is that a Harris-Walz presidency would be hostile to our interests.
Democrat presidents usually are — even the half decent ones like JF Kennedy. And the further left they are, the more hostile to the UK they become.
The last thing we want in the White House is an administration which will give us trouble over trade, defence and international relations generally.
So, if you have a minute to spare, offer a small prayer that the Americans wake up soon. And send Walz back to Minnesota to cause more damage there.
Board of Paris olympics
THE only time I’ve really been interested in the Olympics was very briefly in 1972.
It was the men’s basketball final. Between the red-hot favourites, the USA. And a country who were not at that time their closest friends, the USSR.
I think it must be the only time a basketball match made nuclear war more likely.
The Russkies won by one point with the last throw of the game. And there was uproar – it was almost certainly a fix by the commies.
Anyway, I wish we could have something like that in these games. The only other time I get excited is looking at the medal table.
I like to see Britain in third place at worst, behind the USA and China. This time it will be enough for me if we beat the French, though.
I don’t even care about the Aussies, for a change. Just beat the French, on their own ground. With their worm-infested food and poo-infested river.
Bloody stupid
THE problem with executing the criminal leader of a terrorist group is that the terrorist group will almost certainly choose someone worse to take his place.
That is exactly what has happened with Hamas.
Israel assassinated its leader Ismail Haniyeh. And now Hamas has chosen Yahya Sinwar to take over.
Ol’ Yahya may sound like a character from Viz. But he’s a bloodthirsty hardliner. He makes Ismail Haniyeh look like Ed Davey.
Things never get better out there, do they?
Horror holiday
THE Government is drawing up plans to evacuate 16,000 Brits from Lebanon.
The country looks like it might soon be at war with Israel.
But even when it’s not at war with Israel, it’s hardly the safest place in the world, is it?
What are the Brits doing there?
Are they on some sort of special package deal holiday?
“We’re sick of being hated by the Spanish, so our travel agent found a lovely little hotel.
“It’s called The Hezbollah Jihadi Palms and it’s in a place called Beirut.
“We can’t wait!”
Summer of rain
APPARENTLY it’s going to tank it down over the next couple of days. Just another part of our Summer of Rain.
Anyway, here’s my bet. The riots will dwindle in size considerably. It’s always a good test of the seriousness of protests if they give up when it’s p***ing down.
Also, the new football season kicks off on Saturday. And I will bet most of the hoolies will be back on the terraces.
Lots at steak
HERE’S a heart-warming story.
A vet called Polly Dugmore rescued a whole herd of calves which were in danger of drowning.
The animals had wandered on to a beach in Cornwall. And were trapped by the incoming tide.
Bit of a mixed blessing for the calves, mind. Because these were Wagyu beef calves, prized for their succulent flavour.
So probably a case of: “OK you calves. You’re all safe. Now, if you wouldn’t mind climbing up that ramp into the lorry, please. One at a time, chop chop. So to speak.”
lI JUST read that some 5,700 kids are waiting for transgender care treatment in the UK.
All under 18 years old and one of them younger than five.
Now, hang on a minute.
I thought all of this dangerous nonsense was meant to have been stopped?
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Remember the Cass Review of transgender services?
Why is this sort of thing still taking place?