“Is that a Spock Pez dispenser behind you?” Brent Spiner asks me via Zoom.

He and I have met a few times before, but I’m hesitant to rub in his face just how much of a Star Trek fan I am. Spiner’s first book, Fan Fiction, out October 5, is clearly targeted to nuts like me—but it’s also about the boundaries that must exist between performers and their audience. While it is ultimately comic and upbeat, the book details Spiner’s life going haywire as he is tormented by deranged stalkers.

It’s important to note, however, that the story is fake. Its subtitle is A Mem-Noir: Inspired by True Events, which means it’s a mix of L.A. gumshoe suspense, complete with detectives and bodyguards, and loads of anecdotes about “what it’s like to share the makeup room when Michael Dorn gets changed into a Klingon.”

For a Star Trek fan, there can never be too many peeks behind the curtain, and for anyone hip to Spiner’s sarcastic sense of humor, the book is a delight. (If you’ve somehow never seen him as the android Data on Star Trek: The Next Generation, you’ve likely seen him in Independence Day or on Night Court, Ray Donovan, or Penny Dreadful: City of Angels.) But even if you couldn’t tell a Soong-type android from an Instant Pot, Fan Fiction is still a clever and well-written page-turner.

In my conversation with Spiner, which has been edited for clarity, we talk about his inspiration for the book and how he navigates his persona. We’re also thrilled to be the ones to tell you that, yes, many of Spiner’s Star Trek colleagues, including Patrick Stewart, LeVar Burton, Gates McFadden, and more, will be lending their voices to the audiobook. Below, we’re also debuting exclusive audio of Spiner reading the book’s very entertaining prologue.

Vanity Fair: A lot of Star Trek alumni write a book. It’s part of the path. But this is different.

Brent Spiner: A literary agent approached me for a memoir, but I didn’t want to do it. I said “look, I have a story I’d like to tell, and I can weave in some memoir-y stuff.” I felt this would be more amusing, more entertaining and, in a way, more reflective of me than simply writing “when I was 13 years old I had my bar mitzvah, blah blah blah.”

The pandemic made it slightly easier because I didn’t have anything else to do. No acting work for a year.

What were some of your inspirations?

I would not be so bold as to compare myself, but I love Kurt Vonnegut, particularly Breakfast of Champions, in which he appears as himself and frees his characters.

A weird aspect with this book is that it features cameos from people like your Star Trek costars Patrick Stewart, LeVar Burton, and Jonathan Frakes with his wife, Genie Francis. What was it like to get their sign-off?

I sent them the book when I was done, before it was printed, and said “is there anything in here you are uncomfortable with?”

So you didn’t ask them ahead of time?

No, I just assumed it would be okay, and that if they had problems they would tell me. No one asked for any changes.

You make them all out to be really cool.

They are really cool! It’s all heightened, of course, just as my character is heightened a bit. I mean, it’s not really me, it’s the “me” in the book.

Some of the people in there I couldn’t ask for permission, like Gene Roddenberry, Gregory Peck, or Oliver Sacks, but I have to assume they would be okay with what I wrote.

One of the great pleasures of the book is wondering “gee, did this bit actually happen?” Like, those Hollywood parties at Gene Roddenberry’s mansion, toward the end of his life. What was that vibe really like?

They were huge affairs. And he was kind to invite all of us. I didn’t know most of the people there, but they were filled with entertainers. Their house was Cary Grant and Barbara Hutton’s house in Brentwood, and it was beautiful. I remember sitting at a table with Robert Sterling and Anne Jeffreys, names that may not mean anything to you—but they were from the TV series Topper, and this was part of my childhood. I just couldn’t believe I was sitting there across from them; they were so elegant and beautiful. That left an impression on me. Plus seeing Buzz Aldrin, and a lot of Gene and Majel [Barrett-Roddenberry]’s cronies from the Bel-Air Country Club, where they held court.

Did LeVar Burton really give you his daughter’s placenta to put in the fridge when he moved house?

Uhhh … here’s the thing: in the prologue, there’s that disclaimer that “none of this is true, but it may have happened in a parallel universe.” I do not think Michaela [Burton] would be happy if I were to … well, I don’t think she’s going to be happy I put it in the book at all.

The story about being at the now-closed, legendary Hollywood restaurant Chasen’s during an earthquake is too weird to be made up.

Some of it is true. Jonathan Frakes and I used to go there. The first time, we went on a whim because we got off work early, and saw Billy Wilder at the first table. The whole cast was there one night, and there was an earthquake. I was sitting right next to Pia Zadora, and she said “what should I do?” So I told her to sing “San Francisco.” Other aspects of what is in the book have been embellished.

One more: In the book, you describe performing in “The Seagull” with F. Murray Abraham, Rosemary Harris, Christopher Walken in New York, and Lauren Bacall boos you. How do you know it was meant for you and not someone else?

It was at the Public Theater downtown. I was playing Konstantin. It’s a major role, so I come out by myself for a bow. She was sitting next to Arthur Laurents, who wrote West Side Story. And the two of them bent at the waist and booed me!

But years later—this is not in the book, it’ll have to be in my next one, I guess—I’m doing 1776 in New York. I tell this story to Tony Walton, our set designer, and he says “oh, how interesting because Betty”—which is what people call Lauren Bacall—“Betty is my best friend, and she’s coming to the opening.” I think, “oh my God,” right? But when I walked into the opening night party the first person I saw was Lauren Bacall and she opens her arms and says “daaaaaaarling, you were maaaaaarvelous!” so all was forgiven.

You make overtures in the book to say that most Star Trek fans are great. But the book is a story about stalkers and crazy people. I suppose most of your encounters have been positive?

Absolutely. I’ve had wonderful fans, people have been incredibly kind. I get terrific feedback on Twitter. Sure, there’s the odd person, and that isn’t too much fun to deal with, but by and large fans are great.

Also, I’ve been moved by a reality that I had no idea back about when I was doing the show. As in the book, I did meet Dr. Oliver Sacks, who explained how Data was important [to people on the autism spectrum].

At conventions I’ve had so many people say they had Asperger’s Syndrome, or autism, and that when they were kids Data was the only character they could relate to. His struggle to understand emotion, and his dealings with society and people. I am overwhelmed by that.

Of course, I had nothing to do with it. If I had known at the time this was happening, I probably would have encouraged the writers to lean into it, and I might have blown the whole thing.

In the documentary Trekkies, there’s one very dedicated fan who takes “Brent breaks” by staring off in the direction where you live. Have you had any interaction with this person in a while?

No, I have not.

But, again, there is all kinds of fandom. There are fans that are kind and sweet, then a few who do cross the line into a kind of entitlement. And that has a lot to do with Data, more than me, because Data was so accessible, and so non-judgmental. The assumption is that I, too, will be just like that.

The point that I hope I make in the book is that everyone is a fan of someone—even me, with the embarrassing Gregory Peck sequence. We’re all fans.

You write quite a bit about your Jewish upbringing, and also your Texas upbringing. Other than Kinky Friedman, it’s not a connection too many people make. What’s it like growing up as a Texas Jew?

The same as anywhere but with more barbecue.

I’m happy the gang is all back together for the audio book. How did that come together?

I asked them. Well, at first I asked St. Martin's Press, mostly because I felt odd doing the voices of my friends. Plus I told Patrick that if he said “no,” he had to understand that I was going to do an impression of him. And he said [as Patrick Stewart] “well, I do enjoy hearing you do Dorn.”

Were you all in the studio at once?

We haven’t done Marina Sirtis yet, because she is in London—but Patrick, LeVar, and Michael came to the studio, and we all did it together. Gates and I did a different session. Jonathan and Genie are in Maine, so we did it remotely. Gregory Peck I had to do on my own, but [as Gregory Peck] I do a pretty good Gregory Peck.

What do you think about your pal LeVar getting the shaft on Jeopardy!?

It does seem like a no-brainer, right? He’s the perfect person. I don’t know anything about this Mike Richards, but when he was the producer and gave himself the host job, I joked on Twitter that maybe I could come in as the exec if there was an opening. It seemed like a very strange deal.

Mayim Bialik will be fantastic for the remote stuff, but LeVar is a smart guy, and well-read, and seemed ideal. Hopefully someone is working to give him his own show. And I’ve always said that if they ever want to revamp Wheel of Fortune, I would make a terrific Vanna White.

Who do you want to star in the movie version of Fan Fiction?

Well I think James Bond plays Patrick. Daniel Craig. Not sure who plays the younger me, though. Maybe the guy, this wonderful actor who is in everything, oh, what’s his name? He was in the movie with Michelle Pfeiffer about Paris, he was the son? See, at this age, you can’t think of the name.

Lucas Hedges! I think that would work. Who plays the young Jonathan Frakes?

A young Jonathan Frakes? Hey, listen, I’m just the writer—I’m not the casting director on this, okay?

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