Given the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, Vogue is encouraging its readers to follow the CDC guidelines for celebrating Halloween safely; instead of congregating indoors in large groups, consider taking in spooky decorations at a distance, organizing an at-home scavenger hunt for kids, or streaming your favorite scary movie. By all means, though, dress up; just don’t forget your mask!
Halloween costumes for couples, Halloween costumes for babies, Halloween costumes for dogs—where are our Halloween costumes for the neediest among us, the single people of the world? We’re ostensibly the most attention-seeking population, and yet the costumes market for singles has been reduced to the strictly overtly sexy. No longer do you have to suffer the injustice: Here are 14 costumes to help you stand out this Halloween.
A loaf of banana bread
Remember the early days of quarantine, when banana bread was the thing on everyone’s mind (and jam-packing everyone’s freezer)? Recapture the carb-y magic with this solo costume.
Joe Exotic
Speaking of early-quarantine relics, the controversial star of Netflix’s Tiger King would make a perfect—if slightly flashy—costume. (Stuffed tiger sold separately.)
A mummy
What’s more COVID-responsible than swathing your entire body in fabric? Sort of the equivalent of a mask, but for your entire body. Plus, for all anyone knows, you’re a celebrity under there!
Gritty
The Philadelphia Flyers mascot and messy steampunk monster is a perfect choice for the proud single person out on the town. All you need is an orange beard, a Flyers jersey, a top hat, and a profound desire to seize the means of production to make this costume work.
Lionel Richie from the “Hello” video
This song might give single people a bad name, given that Richie is basically a stalker in this classic ’80s video. If you can find an old phone to carry around and cut off your sleeves, maybe the answer to “Is it me you’re looking for?” will be a resounding “Yes!”
Diane Keaton
Diane has never graced the E! show Famously Single, but I’m hoping one day she will (I see her with DJ Pauly D. from Jersey Shore). Keaton’s signature single style involves black-rimmed glasses, a white shirt, and blazer or black turtleneck, optional tie, and non-optional hat: top hat, pork pie, wide-brimmed—take your pick and don’t go home with anyone, ever!
The Babadook
The Babadook, LGBTQ+ celebrity, is only a slight alteration from a traditional Keaton—a high top hat should do the trick, with some heavier makeup and, if you can swing it, sharp, bloody teeth. It’s always a good idea as a sexy single person to draw attention to your mouth, according to Cher Horowitz.
Emily Dickinson
This poet was a famous recluse and never married. Create an iconic Emily D. look with a long white dress, a middle part, and a poetry book—but don’t leave your house.
Pigeon Lady from Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Everyone knows that single people are all around us, even in crawl spaces above the orchestra pit at the Metropolitan Opera. Pigeon Lady still has an active social life in Central Park, though, and dozens and dozens of feathered friends. We recommend stuffed birds for this costume, but real breadcrumbs.
Éponine from Les Misérables
Éponine, French friend-zone icon, makes pining after hot student Marius look as easy as beheading someone with a guillotine. Throw on some tattered burlap and a pageboy hat and belt out your loneliness, girl.
Miss Havisham from Great Expectations
This boss patroness takes her single self to the extreme by ignoring not just her own sell-by date; buy a few cakes and tea sandwiches to leave out for several weeks, if not months, to create this look. If you have something long, white, flouncy, and vaguely “I got left at the altar,” you’re good to go!
Esther from Orphan
Esther gives what the kids call “zero fucks” about her single lifestyle, which has her jet-setting from adoptive family to adoptive family pretending to be a child, then seducing and murdering the husbands. Lean into an Esther look with a cute neck-ribbon choker and matching bow, party dress, and mary janes. Look out, dads!
Moaning Myrtle
Crying? Hanging out in the bathroom? Feeling invisible? Sounds like a Halloween party as a single person to me! Not much is needed for a Moaning Myrtle costume aside from a school-girl outfit and optional toilet seat.
Nun (generic)
Nuns are a great go-to for a single girl. It’s a fairly easy costume, and you can choose from a few favorite famous nuns throughout history—Mother Teresa! Maria from The Sound of Music! A personal favorite is a nun from the convent Katy Perry tried to buy. Or anyone from Sister Act.
