My son was born in NYC and since his birth, I've broken up with my boyfriend and spent nearly the first year of his life staying with family, the entirety of which lives in California. I got my education in NYC but the kind of work I do can be done in NYC or California, it really doesn't matter.. so it's more about what's best for my son. It's a choice between Monterey, more of a country/outdoorsy place to Brooklyn--which is like no place else. But as a single mother with a job that varies in income and with no family near NY and the only thing holding me to the city I love being friends and a two room studio apt I'm subletting. It's the choice between being a single mom in the city or outside the city, raising a NY kid or a Cali kid--between having a kid knowing the streets or being able to fish and hike and look out for whales. Any opinions? I wake up in the middle of the night in confusion--I'm completely torn. Thanks

First u r a very strong lady mom for doing so much yes life is hard but what isnt  what ever  u do or go its your chose  life is hard but u made it this far u can make it farther  and when u sleep  think of your child  and that would make u smile ps u a great mom for being the dad and mom

I'm Goin going back back to Cali Cali....

Go back to Cali. ASAP.

"Knowing the steets" is very valuable. ...if you want your child to be "street." If you want your child to be successful in regular life, perhaps think about the stats on city kids versus suburban kids, e.g. SAT scores, college graduation rates, etc. I say horrible things about California, because I hate that state. I used to say horrible things about Jersey, but when I found out I was going to be a dad, I moved out of the city to central Jersey, and I never looked back.

Good luck. What you're doing is incredibly tough, but equally admirable.

California... But when does his father see him?

Hmmm.. I am in the middle of planning to relocate from CA to NY next year w/ the kiddos...

Nyc is better life

Where you have support from family is a better life.

Wherever works best for you workwise and supportwise. Thats where you should be

Life is no rehearsal! Live where your heart & gut desires. Your son will have an amazing life wherever u are & as long as u are happy. Its your values and morals that will count:) Don't get caught up in our society status! Love NY!!!

NYC isn't a place to raise a kid... get out!!

US isn't a place to do anything

NY is over-rated.

I think by "knowing the streets" JB Smooth meant being culturally aware and experienced.
There is plenty of culture in the bay area.
There is beauty, accessibility and decent education to be had there.
You have some kind of family/ friend support structure and already have an income.. Not to mention, his father is there.
If you're thinking about yourself, come to NY. If you're really thinking what's right for your kid, then stay put for a while.
IMO.

Actually his father is in NY, but he's not adequately involved and we've talked about my potential move. My family is in Cali but my friends are in NY. Work is in both places.. and is monterey still considered the bay area? It's possible to go to San Fran as well.. thank you so much for all your comments. Appreciate all of them. I'm mulling over this quite intently... I've always thought as a person who grew up in the country and always wanted to leave that I would raise a kid in the city.. but now that the time has come for it, I wonder.. in NY i knew many people who had been born and raised there and NY was wound up with their identities.. it can be a strengthening position but there was a certain nonchalance, coldness to many of them, especially the men, sort of an over-satiated, unthankful quality...As for me, I was able to move to NY at 18 and assimilate and cultivate street smarts all the while missing nature...

So Cali with biannual trips to NY to see Dad.

you should go to cali.  being a single mother in nyc is an extreme sport.

your kids can always visit their dad in the summers or holidays or whatever.  make sure you file for child support before you leave.

What strip club do you work at?

I'm a doula.

""over-satiated, unthankful quality""

well said.

doulas are cool!  i had one with my first pregnancy at the Morris Heights birthing center.

I'd say both are crappy options, but I'd go with the ocean.

Raising a child in California sounds way much better and relax with more options to do more fun stuff due to the weather.

It is so rough to bring up a child in NY.  You don't want to hear the things my song tells me that are going on in the schools.  Who new that teenagers this days are sooo much into doing weed n smuggling alcohonl in the schools. There is just too much going on in the NY public schools.