So, I've come to the conclusion that I am losing the battle of dirt vs. Me in my house. I clean, and clean and clean and never seem to get anywhere. If any of you have toddlers (or husbands LOL) you know what I mean when I say it feels like I clean the same friggin' messes every day! In light of this assessment, I've decided to look for a housekeeper- someone to come in once a week, or bi-weekly or whatever to help with the stuff that just seems to pile up. Problem is, for one, I don't know who to trust. Obviously letting someone in your home is a scary thing and I want someone that is bonded and insured, etc. and second- I'm looking for someone that will do more than just dust and mop floors. I checked out "Merry Maids" and they don't really DO much for what they charge! I don't need help dusting....I need help with last nights dishes while I put my kid down for a nap! I need help organizing the boxes of crap I have...and someone to help me put away some laundry so that I can spend more time  with my little one. It seems like all these services will come and clean your toilet but they won't really help you CLEAN anything. Like, they will wipe the counters if the counters are cleared off....but they won't move the appliances (i.e. the toaster or rice cooker) to wipe the counter.

So...does anyone have any suggestions on WHO I might be able to hire to get some help with more than just wiping the front of the fridge and dusting the bookshelf? Or does this person not exsist and I should just pay my Mother In Law to do this?

Also, any suggestions for a lawn / weed service? We've tried several and one was just psycho....literally. And the others, well they didn't really touch the weeds and keep the backyard nice. They mowed, but wouldnt pull any weeds that popped up in between paver stones, or pick up a piece of trash that blew into the yard- that kind've thing. I don't mind PAYING someone to do it...but I'd just like to know that if I'm paying someone to make my yard look nice I'm not going to go outside and see that they just weed-whacked the weeds DOWN instead of removing them. And I'm not kidding I've watched them use their blowers to blow trash that blew into our yard around the yard and watched it settle in the flower beds.

Again, I don't mind PAYING someone to be a "do it all" yard or house helper- I just don't wanna pay someone to only help with this or that and leave this or that....

I like this guy for yard stuff,
lawnranger.us

Great communication, very fair pricing, and he takes the time to e-mail and follow up.

My needs were simple, and low impact, but he was WAY cheaper and better than the guy that had been doing some stuff
previously.

You might want to look into hiring a professional organizer.  I don't think you are going to find a major cleaning service that is going to do much, if any, tidying.  But a pro organizer could probably help you out with getting a handle on the mess and putting a system in place that would make it easier to manage.

Look here:  napo.net

Of course, they probably aren't going to help you put away the laundry...you just might have to hire somebody you know to do that.

Here's my suggestion. Take the money you would spend on these services an put it in the bank. Then when you need the stuff cleaned take unpaid time off work and pay yourself the money you set aside.

Jay C. I just called that lawn guy you suggested. He was super nice and is sending me a quote on our yard. Thanks for the info.

Robert- Thanks for the suggestion but that probably won't work for me. See, I have a toddler that I LOVE and LOVE to spend time with. I would rather pay someone to do the dishes so that I can play Mr. Potato head with my son, or take him on an Adventure walk. I'd rather use PTO hours to take our child to Disneyland- NOT to stay home and clean. I'd rather spend my days interacting with my son, not focused on cleaning the kitchen or scooping a cat box.

Maybe it's crazy, but that's just me. Money is just money. It comes and goes. You can't take it with you when you go. My son's childhood only comes ONCE- and I'd like to continue to be present for that. My relationship with my son's father is also important to me- do I want to spend the time after dinner - doing dishes? No. I'd rather use the precious time that I have with them, giving my son a bubble bath, brushing his teeth, reading his bedtimes stories and singing him "rockababy" songs and tucking him in. I choose to leave the dishes in the sink even after the baby is in bed, to cuddle or watch tv or interact with my Man. Who knows what tomorrow will bring- maybe this is the last night I have with them? If I lost either of them tomorrow- I KNOW I'd regret wasting that precious time that I spent washing dishes instead of hugging and kissing him and playing legos.

Tracy: It's not so much that I have stuff to "organize" - It's more just general picking up. I need someone to help with dishes, or throw some laundry in. Or help me pick up AJ's toys or put things away. That kind've thing.

And Jay: I'm going to give him a ring tomorrow! Thanks!

BTW: *I don't ever take unpaid time off* EVER. And if I did I sure as heck wouldn't do it to clean.

If that time is so important...and money is not important why aren't you a stay at home parent?

What about hiring a college student? I know most of them could use the cash and most are actually responsible adults with a strong work ethic. They would not be bonded or insured, but you could get references from the school. Another option might be to see it the area high schools have students in the Community Life Skills programs that would want to clean houses as part of their program. Many years ago when I was working in a CLS class in another state we had regular jobs cleaning houses. School district staff would accompany the students and supervise them. I am not sure if any of the schools here are doing that, but it might not hurt to ask.

Robert - Not working may not be an option for Amanda. I do not know her situation, but she may be the only breadwinner in the household. Even if she isn't is it possible that she is in a career where it would hurt her chances for advancement if she took time off to raise her child? Men are usually not asked to make that choice, women often are.

Amanda- is your man willing to share the housekeeping duties? I hope we have all moved beyond the concept that keeping our homes presentable is purely the domain of the female in the household.

Good luck Amanda. The time does go by quickly. Enjoy him while he is little. Too soon he will be 13! :-)

Nancy you took the words right outta my mouth. If you are the only bread winner then what the hell is your man doing?

"Attention K-Mart Shoppers"..... Blue light special on aisle 7, ...on boundaries....

Why are you people choosing to judge someone who prefers to spend time with her child as opposed to cleaning her house?

Are you going to lie on your death bed wishing that you had spent time dusting shelves when you could have been playing with your kid instead?

Amanda, cheers to you for asking for solutions to cope with this dilemma.

MV -- Amanda posted that " money is just money." She also said she doesn't "mind PAYING."   Yes she used caps.

These thing pretty much say that money isn't that important.

Also please reread my post again it said "if" when I posted about her being the only bread winner.

Allie A -- no one has judged Amanda on this thread. There may be some judgement of the other parent for not being there but no one judged Amanda.

And everyone will have regrets when they lay on their deathbed.  Because no one is perfect.

This thread has totally gone off topic. Seriously, if folks don't have a recommendation for a house keeper, why post here? Bogging the thread down with this garbage just decreases the chance that Amanda will get any serious responses.

And come on Robert, your posts were totally judgmental. First, in response to her request for recommendations for house keepers you offer the non-responsive suggestion that she take unpaid time off and pay her self to do the job via the savings. If that was an option (or something she was interested) she wouldn't have asked for recommendations. Then you later ask if money is no object, why isn't she a stay at home parent. She didn't ask for you to assess her life and life choices--her request was simple, does anyone have any recommendation for a house keeper to meet her needs. If you don't have one, why not just move along?

Robert: I was a stay at home Mom- however, my boyfriend (and son's father) - and my PARTNER in life - was feeling the stress of being the sole provider. As a good partner and Mother I took it upon myself to get a job that would enable us to have some additional financial freedoms. Things like, family vacations are hard to come by in a single income family. My man has a great job- and he is wonderful with helping with the housework. That's not the issue. Our choice- as parents- is to spend the time we DO have with our son- WITH our son- NOT cleaning up the day to day messes. My job is needed to pay for the extras- and also to provide me with dental insurance. We need clothes. My husband NEEDS vacations from his very stressful job. It's my job as his partner to help provide him a good quality of life as he helps me.

If I'm working 3 days a week and missing time with him, and then on my days off all I'm doing is cleaning up- then how is that fair to our child? My boyfriend always helps out- there is no lop-sidedness to our family dynamic here...how fair is it for me to expect him to spend HIS time off mowing the lawn, or cleaning - when I can pay someone to do it - so that we can spend that precious time with our son.

How did it get assumed that my son's father was absent or "not there"? And why do you assume that because I say that I will PAY someone to do the work for me, it means that I don't consider money important? M.V. is right- I'm not going to spend my whole frickin' check on someone to help me, but I realize that I'm asking for help with tasks outside what house cleaners normally do- and that I'm not so delusional that I wouldn't expect to PAY for those specialized/individualized services. So when I say I will PAY for it, means I'm willing to fork out the dough commiserate to the help I'm asking for. But yes, Money is just that. It comes and it goes. It is important - but compared to my son's childhood- it's not. I have to work- my boyfriend would never ask me too, he wants me to stay home with our son- but the extra income is best for my family. The job I have is amazing, the people are great the pay is great, and the hours are the best I could hope for in regards to what works for my family. In order to keep this job, which I do- as it will only continue to benefit my family- I have to be there for a certain amount of hours per week. I make enough money to cover the extras and then some. I'd like to use the "and then some" to hire someone to help me get the dirty work out of the way so that when I'm with my son- I can spend my time taking him to the park- not asking him to go into his playroom by himself or watch a movie while I clean the house. I really do not see why you are finding fault in this. If I could work less, I would- but I can't.

*Allie: Thank you for understanding*

@Patrick: Thank you. :) With some folks no matter what you say or do they will find fault. If I had said that I was a stay at home Mom then I would have been criticized for that. Instead I'm a Mom that has to work to do right by her family and am just looking for a way to get back some of that time. That's all. I don't see a damn thing wrong with it, or a reason to be judged.

Funny. I've given no criticism of your situation, but only asked questions to get clarity.  And the reason I do is that many people find that staying home with their children is actually more affordable than working outside the home and paying for child care, lawn care and house cleaning.  So I posed a scenario that MANY people have chosen to do after they have done the math.

I understand the desire to not do menial tasks that take away time from my family. Many times it's worth it to me to take the family out to a nice dinner (yelped of course) instead of having me or my wife standing in the kitchen for a couple hours a night.

Patrick. My intent was to pose an option that many people don't actually consider as viable when in truth it really is. Some sacrifices can be made.  Sometimes all it takes is for someone to look at their situation from a different angle.  

And please correct me if I am wrong, but I don't see anywhere on this site that we have to stick to some sort of "only money spending suggestions be given" rule.

Sorry I've asked people to think outside of the box a little.

And Amanda.  For what it's worth. I've actually taken my own suggestions of taking time off from work to do stuff around the house.  Without pay. Because I was the most affordable option and am the best person for the
job most of the time.

Also those times can be very educational and fulfilling spending them with my family. Sure I hate pulling weeds as much as the next guy but doing it with my wife and kids can truly be a fulfilling experience.

I'm sorry my world view offends people.  But hey you can't please everyone all the time.

GO AHEAD AMANDA!!! You do what you gotta do. I use a great cleaning service that's run by a mom and her daughter. I don't know for sure if they do organizing stuff but they do a great job at cleaning my place. PM me if you'd like their information.

I'd like to add this to the conversation: while I have enough time to clean and am childless with plenty of energy, my boyfriend and I were getting into too many stupid arguments about housekeeping. Our solution was to throw some money at the problem (and not very much I will add) so that we would never have to argue about something so mundane like who would clean the toilets. Instead we come home to a clean house and get to spend our free time enjoying each other's company or pursuing hobbies. Truly, it's one of the better decisions I have made with my money. Do not assume your value on a dollar is ever the same as anybody else's.