Take the Quiz below, add up ur $$$ and then post your 'score' in the comments.
No cheating, kiddos.

Have You Ever...???

Received Oral Sex? $100
Gave Oral Sex? $150
69'd? $250
French Kissed while in bed? $25
Had Sex in Public? $250
Had Sex in an Elevator? $500 (Bonus $500 if you actually stopped it in between floors to do it)
Performed or Engaged in Doggystyle in a Hotel/Motel window where people could see? $500
Gave or Received Road Head? $250
Porked a Mother/Daughter Combo? $1,000 (bonus 1K if you did both at same time)
Porked a Pair of Brothers? $1,000 (bonus: you're a sick bitch if you did both at same time)
Gave or Received an OTTPHJ? $100
Gave or Received an UTTHJ? $100
Boinked a Stripper?(male or female) $250
Boinked a Hooker(male or female) $500
Been to Umesh's Basement?  $1,000
Did the Walk of Shame? $1 (u whore)
Had a conversation on the phone with Boss while getting Oral? $500
Swallowed? $500
Took it in the Poop Chute? $1,000

$3,476

I don't know what all these abbreviations are

Lol, last night you said you had recently received one of the said abbreviations

$2525.

Thanks EMG-I don't believe there's a soul on this planet who's done everything on this list

You forgot stuff like swinging, going to a swingers club. calling phone sex lines, talking like phone sex person, making out w/ a stripper or male dancer, watch porn alone, watch porn with your SO, made a video, Not saying I did any, but it is something ppl have done.

-$1 :)

..there's gonna be a Part 3 CDD.. Calm down lol

Lol ok Parole E. You can consult with me, if you wish lol

My ...ahem...consultations are not cheap. Lmmfao

$1750

I didn't count the abbreviations since I don't know them

And I missed one, new total is $2250

500 dollar up charge? Gangsta

Cayde-ur numbers coming in real,low mainnnnnnn. Lesson to be Learned can't be ur fav album an ur scoring that lowskiii

I'm adventurous :)

agreed that there are many things not on this list that should be...

especially before phone convo w/boss...

yeah that too...who does that???

3225

@Insta-Score!!!!! I love you admit to the walk of shame, we're the only ones keeping it real here lmao

@Sofe-Props. Ur a G too

$525

ok, new score is $2350

it's not from last night, I just didn't know what those abbreviations were until you told me...

last night I sipped wine with my bff and watched/listened to music on youtube with her.

I mean, type in "correlation between music and sex" into any search engine. Its not that hard and frankly, I'm quite surprised you wouldn't see the correlation tbh.

parole is supposed to be working.

Wednesday!!!! Today is my last day of freedom!!

@Parole haha - you probably say that all the time!

What ar eyou cookin up today?

^Go grab a couple of checks from a few customers, mow three lawns, do a commercial estimate,one residential estimate and then party my ass off because I'm about to be run ragged for the next ten days.

do you landscape?

I meant in the kitchen, but thats for the play by play!

thanks *

$3,225

Val, ur very close to my number ;)

I know, Parole...not bad for a Mormon girl, eh? Heeeee.

Val - I officially really want to hang out with you. We need to go shopping!

@Val-oooh ur Cray Cray amay

Who knew my slutty past(s) would get me in with the cool kids???

Doing *anything* with Val is not a task for the decent and civilised folks.

Umey, have you read that book yet? You know...the one about that dog who goes on a cruise?

Dang! Val and I are tied.

Sofe! *high-five*

nope!

you're an inspiration to look up to!

Road head is the best! But right when I'm getting *there, I always have this irrational fear of accidentally slamming in the brakes and being Bobbitted on her teeth.
Still, its one of my guilty pleasures

*high fives Val*

Lol. I had to look up Road Head. I'm now a negative -$251 darn

hahaha, cdd!

You two are high beyond the fives

I'm a negative.

Lol...ok I'm out of here... Cheerio !!!

Instapo: lets make our own list!

Have you ever had camping sex with other people sharing a tent with you?

I literally wake up with a tent every morning #manproblems

So I had a friend who didn't have a tent.. BF and I at the time were like 'alright, sleep in ours'...

well, the mood struck and well, I didn't give a shit who was in that tent. I wanted to get off.

this is when I was 21

I sleep best in bed when someone I trust i with me.

*boozy Farts.  I'm sitting at the bar at Chevy's dying laughing. lmmfao

$4226 for me.

How much points for going to Power Exchange ?
How much points for having sex at Power Exchange ?

I'd be interested in how many points for going to PE too

A fart is just a fart in Casablancaaaaaaaa ...

It's not the place. It's the action.

@Insta-I'm sorry, but we're gonna have to agree to disagree(on the fart part, the tent May just be a tent lol)
The worst fart, in the whole entire goddamned world, is a cell fart. When you are literally trapped in 54 square feet of cell with another persons fart and you can't Escape it. There's nothing you can do except sit there and take it. No vents. No windows. No fan to blow it away or make it dissipate.

PS-Insta- OMG!!!! I'm at Chevy's and I look behind me and guess who the fuck is sitting behind me??? Take a wild ass guess........I feel like I am being fucking stalked by some crazy ass sista.

You're at Chevy's?! What did you order???

Ok, and this is so far because my flame is about to show up and we're gonna turn up one time before I go on a ten day ass kicking at work.

Chicken Flautas, happy hour menu
2 Tall Modelo Especials

When she gets here, I think I will order myself a Big Daddy Caddy (Cadillac margarita, extra large with a personal shot of Grand Marnier as a floater)
Then i will probably get her whatever the fuck she wants(most likely some fajitas but who knows, you ladies change you mind like I change weedeater line)
And they have these very cool skulls on the back bar, which they will give you the entire skull With 6 shots of Tequilla for the mindbogglingly low price of $30, because we both like skulls and both have a bunch of skull tattoos. (I have two, she has three, but mine are way more sinister looking and I...well nevermind, that's a story for a different day)
What do you like from Chevy's, Val?

Wait....who's behind you? Was it the girl in the salmon colored dress from the other night?

I was thinking the same thing!!! That salmon dress!!!

Lol we probably won't get an answer as he is having drinks and dinner with his flame.

This is a great menu, btw.

Is there some sort of a sampler platter?

Not squeamish..... Well a little if I see live crabs, crayfish, spiders, I go eeeek

OK-Soooooooooo. I had a crazy customer awhile back who wanted me to meet her at a bar to give me my payment. No problem, I go to bars a lot and its no big deal-I just want my dough, right?
So, this turns into an every time its time to pay deal, she wants to meet at a bar. She's giving me subtle hints and trying to throw it at me(she once showed me her weight app , which read 145, she's actually stacked up top and down below but...not my type.)
Anyways, I just stop answering her calls. Its costing me time and money to meet her after hours for my pay when other customers either leave money for me or they pay via email billing. Plus the bitch was a hassle and could never just make solid dates for me to service her yard(don't you even go there)
So in about January, I go to Chevy's after giving her the cold shoulder for a month or two. She shows up while I am there. I walk out and she tries to hit me up. I can't lie; I lied my ass off to her so as not to cause a scene.
Sooooo tonight, I'm hanging out, waiting for boo-thang to show up and who the fuck I see?
Yup, crazy green eyes, and her same bitch ass potna that was there last time.
I make sure not to make eye contact, not trying to cause a scene.
She starts getting louder and louder, she was trying to get me to look, but fuck that, I'm not the one to fall for the old okey doke.
Meanwhile boo-thang shows up and I apprise her of the situation at hand(luckily, I keep it real and she heard this story months ago so I was on solid ground)
We kick it, get our drinks, eat all that jazz and then we pay our bill and leave.
We walk out and crazy green eyes follows us! I looked at her, and she wanted to say something but maybe boo-thang intimidated her, idk. We walk off towards her car and then CG starts bellowing some shit about something and we look at each other and laugh.
#didnteevengiveherthedickandsh­eactinglikethis???

I legit woulda took the salmon dress and fucked her in the bathroom and came back, acting like nothing happened. No shit. Her shit looked Immaculate.

Your customer sounds crazy. Good rid'ens !

"service her yard"
Lmao!!!!

Parole, I like the steak fajita nachos but light on the cheese because even for my cheese-snarfing ass it's too much. But I do like to order extra of the salad-y thing they put in the middle of the platter.

@Val-I don't like nachos from Chevy's really. I straight up walk into chevy's and as soon as my ass hits the stool, there's a tall modelo in front of me and an order of flautas, well done, coming up.
I'm a severe creature of habit. Like I've been to restaurants for 20+ years and have only ordered one item off the entire menu.
I do occasionally order the carnitas street tacos for 5 bucks, I love that habanero aioli they put on those things!

I looooove their salsa.

Now I want nachos. Damn!

@Val-It depends who makes it, the cook who made it yesterday totally overpowered the salsa with cilantro. There's another one who makes it too garlicky and there's a couple who do it just right.
When its done right, its awesome, although lacking in heat.

I really like Chevys (roasted) salsa and chips. I buy it sometimes for little get togethers. I think it's $10 for a big bag and a tub of salsa. Their chips are o thin and crunchy.

Parole, are their Flautas made with flour tortillas.i like flour but often even tho it say Flautas, it's really corn, which is taquitos to me.

Nah, its flour tortillas. I eat them probably twice a week

Oh I love the flour flautss.
Did you notice rip Petunua thread has disappeared?

Nope! Crazy!!! Insta is still here though, so all good.

Yes, Insta is good folks, at the least. But I wonder why it was deleted?

Who knows?

This is the explanationf for it: This conversation violated the Yelp Content Guidelines
. Didn't find it offensive. Weird.

Fake Yelpicide threads are killed when they hit 300.

Hmm, did you do it Rick?

No, I like flushing out the crazies.