fell flat on face, busted lip THOUGHT I knocked teeth out

fell off party bus, non stop bleeding from hand and foot

ya mine are baby stuff...I know you guys got some good ones.

Well, I don't have a good one myself, but my fiance on his 21st birthday, went to a casino in Reno (where they bring you free drink after free drink), stood up after 11 drinks fell into a slot machine and then dropped face first onto the floor, breaking his jaw in two places.  Needless to say, he doesn't drink THAT much anymore :)

I face planted and broke my face in three places.  My cheekbone was collapsed inward, so I had to have surgery to correct it. Now I have a 'bionic face'!  yelp.com/biz/brian-bast-…

I forgot to put mosquito repellant on while consuming way too much tequila at a BBQ in Hawaii. I woke up the next day with bites 7-9 inches across, barely able to walk and feeling like I drank a gallon of nerve toxin. Other than that, I've just had those mystery bruises. Where DO they come from?

jesus hannala!

i always seem to burn my hand with a lighter when i'm trying to light my cigarette when i'm drunk.

of course, i only smoke when i'm drunk. which i guess would explain why i never learned to use a lighter properly.

I was at a club dancing and next thing I know I was on the floor with my knee cap slid over to the side of my leg. I moved my leg and it snapped back into place. I did OK until about 3:00 in the morning when the alcohol wore off and I could hardly even get out of bed. I did not get a bionic knee.

man and here I am worried about a couple of teeth and you go and break your face. gdamn.

Luckily, I'm a happy lazy drunk when I've had too much to drink.  No serious self-inflicted injuries other than the occasional "tossing of the cookies" and public humiliation the following morning.

Broken metatarsal (foot).
Chipped tooth.
Cracked rib.
Dislocated rib.
Broken collar bone/ dislocated shoulder. While doing a pratfall over the coffee table, listening to Uncle Tuepelo's "I got drunk and I fell down"
After that last one I've been known to say " I've been hurt worse while having less fun".
I'll think of more.

Evel Knevel is my hero.

i have drunken sex knee and fallen knee injuries, scars, perma bumps

none happened to me, but i've def. dropped my (now ex) roommate a bunch of times when she was drunk.

dropped her in the elevator
dragged her out by her arms
dropped her from the curb next to the taxi for a face plant on the cement
dropped her from the seat to the granite floor
dropped her from the stairs
dropped her from bed
dropped her on cement, not from cab
dropped her from car

needless to say, she STILL gets up.

it annoys me. i no longer go drinking with her. (if shes gonna get THAT plastered, have someone ELSE take care of you!)

Hm... the time I sprained my ankle and had to be in an aircast for 6 weeks.

tore a toenail COMPLETELY out  (root and all)  whitle trying to ride a bike...

I get a drunken sprained ankle at least two times a year.
I played volleyball in college and my ankles won't for give me.

My OFFICIAL medical records state the cause of injury as "fell out of 5 inch stilettos" (I was wearing really high heels that were too big and, while that definitely *contributed* to the injury, but I'm pretty sure it was the bazillion manhattans I had on an empty stomach that actually led to the face planting)  

BTW, this was in February of last year at a DYL.  This is what happens when you have to work and be responsible in college - you just delay your stupid stage

Wow. I got pregnant before I turned 21 and didn't drink much of anything until last year.  Seeing as how I have a girl's trip to Reno coming up in less than 2 weeks, I'm going to take it easy after reading all these.

Got drunk and played hockey with some friends.  I dislocated my shoulder diving to clear the puck.

mystery bruises and perma bumps are my fav thing. signs of a good night!

chipped my front tooth and lost my prada jacket in the same night, but didn't find out till i woke up the next morning. :(

lot of females with war stories, i like! :)

totaled a golf cart joyriding through a golf course at night--I'll not mention which course here. flipped it with eight people riding (me driving of course :)) going down a steep hill at the driving range and after landing on my face in the dirt at full speed the cart rolled onto my legs. No breaks but couldn't walk for a few days. Then I broke out in severe poison oak.

And you know what? It was worth it.

Face plant in front of the Toronado. It would have been 8-10 stitches but I super glued it shut (no scar).

pleading the 5th

Fell down some outside steps, but thankfully a glass bottle was there to break my fall.  Ended up with a shard of glass stuck in my back until we were able to get to the hospital to have it removed.  Since I was so drunk, I didn't even feel the pain and didn't know I had the glass sticking out of me until someone freaked out.  Also got me some stitches and a nice scar to remember that night by.

been very lucky, just a liver the size of a bowling ball

One time I had wayyy too much to drink and needed to um, "expel" the toxins from my body. I woke up the next morning with a big fat blood clot on my eye. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the Student Health Center, freaking out that my contact had scratched my eye or something. The nurse looked and me and simply asked, "Did you drink too much last night?" "Uh yes, ma'am." "Did you get sick?" "Yes, ma'am." "Next time, don't throw up so hard and maybe the blood vessels won't pop."

Tore muscle in shoulder after playing very aggressive darts and then skee ball at Elsie's Okey-Dokey bar in NYC.

ouch.

Nicholas - I know where... ;)

lost a cigarette cherry in my cleavage and didnt realize it until somone said  "a hole is burning in your top" - scar for a few years
fell down stairs
bumped my head
ripped out a nice bit of hair in the passenger door

A family member (in-law) whom I call the "Asian Bionic Woman" has the following from her "accidental" falls while having a happy time:

Fell down a flight of stairs twice:   Titanium Rt knee
Another fall on ceramic stairs:       Titanium Elbow, wrist, back and ankle (right side)
Fell walking down NY street:          Cracked her forehead open
Car while driving drunk:                  Not caught yet.  Takes 3 lanes, almost hit several pedestrians and bicyclists

Thank God she hasn't killed anyone yet.

fell head first into a pile of rocks and my wife had to pick me up out of while our friend got it on film.

as a kid i used to take bullets and point them at a car across the street from me that almost ran me over and hit them with a hammer. one of those bullet hit me in the neck and i almost died. lucky it was a 22 cal bullet !

I slammed my thumb in a car door one night when i was 21 after a Halloween party. When my friends walked away from the car after parking and noticed i was still standing there with a bewildered look on my face, they screamed when they realized my thumb was inbetween the top of the window and door frame. I kind of just stood there like  " Is this bad?"

and it hurt like hell the next day!

Man, I was walking when I tripped and I HELLA DISLOCATED MY......EGO!!!

this was a long time ago but i can still feel the pain.

i was drunk, we were at a friends house. i was running around being sily and thought i would just leap down those last 3 steps.... when i landed my ankle twisted into an extreme angle. i'll never forget that ripping sound and the horrible pain. i couldnt walk on it for almost a month : (

This is the thread I'm going to pull up after each shameful night of drinking.

"Asian Bionic Woman"  thats the greatest thing I have ever heard. but uh you guys should probably keep her keys away from her.

Was in a bar and had to use the bathroom.  After many drinks of vodka and I'm not sure what else, I could hardly make it to the bathroom.  I got in and leaned back to lower myself on the toilet.  Well, I lost my balance and fell onto a shelving unit against the wall, which had many sharp objects on it.  I had a bruise all down my back (and on my butt) for many weeks.  I couldn't sleep on my back because any pressure hurt sooooooo badly.

Although I'm tempted to check out the Irish Bank festivities tomorrow, I'm freaked out that I will end up like one of these stories!

Mine, probably kicking a VW Bug (an old one) and getting my foot stuck between the bumper and the car, broke my ankle.

Worst self inflicted injury while intoxicated, that I have witnessed:  death

most of my drunken falls are due to me not being able to balance my drunk ass any longer on my 4 inch heels.

my very first drunk, in high school was on a hill with a fairly steep drop off onto the street below.  Some guys were sitting on the edge and I ran around in front of them, not knowing there was a sheer cliif in front of them.  I basically "rapelled" (sp) down, facing the hill with my shoes and hands bouncing on the hill until I hit the bottom.  Got up and started running back toward the road up the hill only to find several guys running towards me expecting to find a body....being 16 yrs old helps sometimes.