I feel that guys tip way more then girls, especially the white "middle class" looking guy. The whole restaurant business was created 4 then especially the places like the bar with cute waitresses! Women are more simple and don't need to be sucked up 2. There is a higher expectation 4 men 2 tip. 4 me I would go 2 have a bowl of pho & tip $2-3. Please help me on my situation below.

I am fuming bc my boyfriend is irresponsible and doesn't see the value of hard earned $. I found receipts saying: $22 Vietnamese meal - $8 tip we had 2 bowl of pho, $66 @ Irish Heather $33 tip, Boston Pizza $55 bill $12 tip, Sumarai sushi $26 with $5 tip ( there wasn't even service ) just pick up food at counter, $85 food $20 tip.  

It is making me mad that he is like this and wonder what 2 do bc we have such 2 ideas about $. I am more conservative 15% tip he is more like la la la whatever he fancy. This doesn't even include $150 bill 4 the both of us and $35 tip @ Joe Fortes bc he drinks!! The bottom line is we don't have much of a savings as a result if he is gonna live like this.

Your boyfriend's tipping seems generous, but not outrageous. Maybe, in order to save money, you could try to eat out less instead of skimping on tips, as servers are generally hardworking and undervalued.

I need to set parameters here & will take your advice.  I don't know why but this really triggers me. It is one thing when u buy a meal but my issue is appies, drinks & tip on top of that. By then the bill is $100. Then there is tipping when u don't need to pick up, pho restaurants (asian restaurant ) is different in my opinion a few bucks enough.

Oh & the  last time I got 2 restaurant he already had old scotch and wine & the bill was already $50 . Too bad about man's honor bull shit thing. We women see thru that & don't get pressured into over tipping.

Money is a huge issue in relationships. Those do seem like generous tips. But unless you're married or common law, what he does with his money is pretty much none of your business. If you're people with different spending habits (i.e. savers vs. spenders) who want to stay together, figuring out an arrangement that makes both of you happy is important (like keeping separate accounts and credit cards for personal expenses and/or savings, and a shared one for household expenses). I'm sure you spend money on things he probably thinks are ridiculous (My husband: "Blah blah blah, you bought MORE shoes?")

And don't go "finding" other people's receipts. That's just nosy.

I feel I only tip for the service, I am conservative and whenever I am out, I estimate about 20% tip for the meal at the start. As the experience unfolds, I add or minus the tip based on the service from the hostess, wait staff, bus boys.

As for take out, if I ordered and still have to wait, I will not tip but if its there and they processed my payment fast and add cutlery napkins, etc without asking, then I will tip.

Well if he's filthy rich then this discussion is pointless. On the other hand if he has a huge mortgage and tips like this then you might have a problem. :)

Sounds like he's treated to you to some nice meals, anyway.

So have you talked to him about this? And is this your and his combined money or his?
Like Christine said, if it is his money then he can do whatever he wants with his money. I do agree that he seems to be a generous tipper but maybe the service you received were awesome. If he is tipping generously because of how a server looks, then I would say you have other other problems other than his generous tipping. (Hopefully this isn't the case for you).

Your bf probably got guilt-tripped before when he tipped on the lighter side in the past by the waitresses. Perhaps it has to do a little with pride and that is hard to overcome especially for a guy.  Maybe remind him before he pays the bill and after regarding why there may not be a need to over-tip all the time. I'm assuming that you guys are at that stage of discussing financials of course. Eating out gets expensive in Vancouver no doubt.

Thanks so much guys 4 your input when I didnt know who 2 open up with. I have left him 2 his own devices 2 tip but now have 2 say something bc his habits expensive & especially with drinks. These behaviors will impact each other as common law still trying 2 figure out our roles in this. Ultimately I feel what he does will impact 1/ his health 2/ financial health of our future. Although after our argument, we said I love you he is not taking my suggestion well $3-4 tip 4 every $20 - saying he would never be cheap like I. The bigger issue is easily $500+ in eating out (2 times @ joe fortes, one @ Rodney's oyster bar & all described above ) We may have a bigger problem here & appreciate your suggestions. He now said he might want to hide things more bc I do clean the house and find receipts and had always been very honest with me.  

The issue is I do notice tips are higher at bars, seafood types of restaurants. There is gender based tipping here. My boyfriend is a longshoreman guy and they do what they want when they want.  He criticized me saying  that I can go to Nepal and trek everest base camp ( next month ) while his comfort is simply just food. It's the same thing & we enjoy $ differently. I value genuine experiences traveling. He likes good food. Although I love him men can be sucks & stupid as hell.

Oh and the brown dog had droopy eyes. He was a dear dog of mine until he passed away and given 2 me by a friend that way. That type of breed cocker spaniel are jus like that and very loving

Can't help but add to this post lol!

Hard working guy who earns good $$ as a Longshoreman. He enjoys eating out at nice places and spends his $$ however he likes.

His partner has issues with him eating/ drinking out. She goes through HIS receipts to check up on him....

Buts it's ok for her to spend $$ on flying out to Nepal and trekking to Base camp (BTW its  pretty tough).

There are more Issues than tipping here .....

Wishing you both all the best.

I couldn't help but do a little math on the tip amounts you're complaining about, and on 4 out 6 examples you give in your original post, they are actually within a fairly acceptable range of 20 to 25%.

Guys tip shit!! most guys I know when Ive worked in the service industry are shitty tippers. "keep the change" Ya, a whole fuckin quarter from a round of drinks.

In my experience, the blue collar guys are the best tippers. When I used to deliver pizza, regular guys in basement apartments would tip $5 or something on a pizza; guys in the British Properties would be all, I don't have much cash around right now, sorry, next time I'll make it up to you. (And never ordered again, of course.)

It's true Christine blue collar guys are better tippers and just giving guys in general. Perhaps why I am attracted to blue collar hardworking red neck.. Eh! I haven't done the math of what he tipped & just very upset about the ordeal & how much we spent in one month!!! Perhaps, It's not about the tip maybe but the # time going out, drinks,
Food prefernces like he like steak, seafood, burgers when I am happy with ethnic more affordable options. I don't have enough role modeling of how couples create parameters with $ & eating out. I am new at this and living with a guy 4 the 1st time in my life 4 only 8 months! It was one thing when we were dating being wined & dined was great but it is all fun & games until u r living together and bare the brunt of these behaviors. It's tough because we are not married or really even common law yet. If we were poor students this would not be an issue. We don't even have a savings for a down payment for our own home and have bigger goals then just eating but hope 2 enjoy good eating within reason that's truly enjoyable 4 both

Christine,

I hear about tipping stereotypes a lot.  And when I worked service industry in college there was a wide stereotype from my coworkers that Asians tip badly.  I'd heard it before, but never so rampant.  So I consciously make an effort to never tip badly.  

I'd never approve of someone taking a photo of a receipt.  But this has been making rounds on Twitter.  Glad to see there are people aware of and breaking the stereotype (he's Asian, white-collar, an NBA player which is apparently a trifecta of bad tipping):
s4.postimg.org/o36uhx4xp…


My attitude has been, if you're that concerned about having to tip,  don't order delivery or go to a sit-down restaurant.  Just go out and go to McDonalds, or Pho/Terriyaki where your meal won't be over $10.

Lanna: If you are living together and you are having issues with his spending on drinks and tips and you are mad already, you might want to both sit down and talk these things out. If he is going to start hiding his receipts it will escalate to other things then you won't have trust in each other and not a healthy relationship.

If you are living together, and have separate accounts and you are mad all the time, then you might want to see if he is willing to compromise, if not, then you might want to take a step back and look at your relationship and make some HARD decisions, saying he loves you is not worth much if he is not willing to compromise. Simple solution will be if you have a pool of $$ for food out, etc. and he lets you pay from the pool and you can decide the tips then.

Just my 2 cents.

Patience Lanna. Working out money issues can take years, take it from me! Very few people get a good education in managing money, and a lot of people have all kinds of emotions bound up with money. Personally, I stay sane with a Mr. Spendy by keeping my own accounts for most things. But over time I think things even out - I got less cheap ("Treat yourself" was a catchphrase I heard long before Parks & Rec) and he's learned to spend smarter.

So are you upset that he's tipping high because you think he's using it as a way of hitting on the server?

This doesn't really sound like a tipping issue, but a relationship issue....

This is tongue in cheek but it's funny when women complain when men are cheap and apparently when men aren't cheap.. talk about a can't win situation for guys in Vancouver!

Reminds me of that classic Yelp Talk thread: Do Vancouver Men Suck?

yelp.ca/topic/vancouver-…

The good old days... :)

I'm actually still confused what the core of the issue is:
Overtipping b/c

a) He's being "irresponsible" with his money
b) He's doing it only when there's a pretty waitress/ jealousy
c) He's not helping you, as a couple, work towards a savings acct.
d) Dissimilar goals on what to spend money on.
e) All of the above
f) Combination of a, b, c, d

Because these will yield very different answers.....

1) Having similar goals about savings & financial responsibility very important in a long term relationship- if you are going to retire together and have children together
2) Getting jealous over the way he tips seems petty and insecure; communicate and resolve.
3) As said before, he seems like a generous tipper, by no means would I say he "over-tips"...  
4) You both have different spending styles- I can relate with this- I like spending my money on travel, while my partner likes stuff, electronics, cars- things I find pretty trivial.  But heck, if that's what they want to spend their money on then that's what they want- those are their hobbies.  If he really enjoys spending money on food, appreciating a really good meal, that's how he enjoys life and you need to respect that.  You each have your spending goals on hobbies- communicate that- and try not to surpass that.

Maybe centre the conversation on saving-goals instead of telling him he spends too much on tipping.  Therefore it is up to him to decide how he will meet his savings-goals.

too many first world problems here.

When is Melissa D going to pipe up?

Mo money, mo problems.

u r definitely correct Melissa 4 your analysis! All of the above!!!! I am mad when he spends $ like that & tips like that especially @ bars with cute girls! That's secondary bc the real issue is  savings & parameters 4 a life together & we are still very individual in this. I don't have a right 2 tell someone or snoop around like I naturally do.

Thanks 4 being helpful & insightful on here! He's  irresponsible & men do whatever 4 too long 2 understand the big picture & need 2 be "retrained" with other focus. Neither of us are at the point in the relationship 2 tell the other person how 2 really spend $ yet..The common goals like savings as a couple hasn't even established or entered our vocabulary yet. Money is a very hard topic without some defensiveness. We already spent a day not speaking each other about this matter. I wish we had the patience & wisdom of parent's era ( it's been hard 2 model) the: loving, honoring and enjoying life without hurting each other. This generation with no savings is a friggin disaster!!  Yes,  I am one of them & petty but can't help it!!

Just eat out at fast food places and urban fare.   You don't have to tip there

Why don't you try picking up a bill once in a while.

How much time is actually saved by refusing 2 write out a 2 letter word? ;)

OP, it sounds like you may be a bit of a hen-pecker. Also, saying that men need to be retrained leads me to believe that you may have a hard time with your man, and really any man in your future for that matter.

Imagine if you snooped around and found a blog post that your good tipping beaux had written about how women  need to be "retrained."

You'd probably freak, wouldn't you? Double standard. If the only issue is that you guys eat out a lot and he spends an extra $4 than you would on the tip each time, then that is really a non-issue.  

Since when did tipping become a bad thing?!?!?!   I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

OP, I feel like you may be why this article JUST came out.. 15% is a crappy tip, BTW...

vancitybuzz.com/2014/04/…

@ Bobby, 15% is a crappy tip? Bullshit.

I try to tip in cash if I pay by CC. I assume the server/staff get it immediately and are not waiting for the charge to be processed before getting paid.

Jamie, I agree--why is 15% considered a crappy tip?  Where did this "15% minimum, 20% for good service" come from?  Also, everything is so damn expensive in Vancouver that adding 20% on top of everything makes it tough to go out!

I get more peeved when one leaves a poor tip. Once, an old friend of mine tried to bleach and colour her own hair. BIG MESS!! We went to a salon to get it fixed and the stylist fit her into her already busy schedule. The stylist called two of her clients asking one to come earlier and the other to come later and the stylist skipped her lunch break to make it all work. The stylist spent over THREE hours fixing her mess job hair and only charged her $130.00. Her hair looked amazing! My old friend tipped her only FIVE dollars! Five fuckin dollars! I was so embarrassed that I went back into the salon and threw her a twenty. My old friend and I got into an argument about it and it showed that she is a cheap bitch that Im not friends with anymore.

And to who ever thinks that 15% is a crappy tip, you must be "balling" cuz most people consider 15% tip fair

I would say 15% is an amazing tip, if I have an amazing experience, more than 15% might be warranted. But if I get a shitty experience, I will not be tipping 15%. 15% is a solid tip, not amazing, not crappy. If a server gives me a shitty experience and thinks they are entitled to 15%, that person needs to look for work in a new industry.

Dammit.. I wouldn't say 15% is amazing...

@Mira, yes that stylist certainly deserved better than $5 and in that case I would have tipped above 15%. She certainly didn't have to fit your former friend in and she went the extra mile.  Good on you for stepping up.

Damn, did this thread just get tip-jacked?

Tipping has always meant to be giving what you are comfortable with based on your values, culture,  socioeconomic and personal preferences. Most people are reasonable when they eat out and know this expectation. It is very individual across the board and also gender based and nobody should ever feel "bullied" or obligated to be a leave a big tip 2 be a big man. This is a bunch of Bulll S**!!  Living in the most expensive city where 2 professional wage earners have enough but still struggle to have savings ie upgarding cars, trips, downpayment and just eating to hide the pain is a real issue. My point is we should all learn to enjoy things with less spending, enjoy each other's time, company, free things like parks, walks, community potlucks, being like innocent children again without being so tainted by  power of $$. Easier said then done and it is the hippy  in me speaking now.

Hi Lanna.  This thread has been entertaining.  I think I will hold off on commenting further.  Good Luck.

JewC

Any people that work in the service industry care to chime in on what they consider a decent tip and what they consider a crumby tip? I suppose that would be the best way to inform all of us.

I'm just saying that by adding ONE or maybe TWO dollars to whatever you are currently tipping, it would, in most casual dining cases boost that percentage to 20% or more.. Wouldn't you guys rather spend a toonie and be a) remembered at the places that you dine, b) given extra care at the places you dine (more side sauces, little extras, a free drink every now and then) and c) seen in a more amiable manner to the people that work at these places?

Or would you rather save the cost of a bag of chips and have no positive effect on another persons day. That little bit could make someone's day that much better, but everyone these days is so greedy and selfish. It's a 'what can you do for me' world nowadays and that's a bummer.

I tip the bartender... Waitress is just bringing my drink a bartender made.

*tipjacked*

Thought you guys would get a kick out of this. Very interesting article (with pictures & diagrams) about tipping

huffingtonpost.com/wait-…

Bridget - Not surprised at all with the "celebs that tip well" and "celebs that do not tip well" page.   Rachel Ray sticks out to me though in the "does not tip well" part.  But what does "does not tip well" constitute for a celeb?  If they tip 15%, isn't that standard or not because they're famous?

finance.yahoo.com/news/h…

Kenny - There is one story from the article I believe that mentioned Arnold Schwarzenegger went into the restaurant with his family, the owner decided to comp their food and Arnie only left $5.

Question for Nathan . Do you only tip the chef because he prepared, cooked and plated your food?

I have a good high tipper story. I Was working at the neighbourhood pub on the Island. Our customers consisted of mostly Blue collar  folk, some of them retired. One customer would come in to play pool and I would always have to remind him that the bar closes at 9:30. He never tipped much for his Green Can of Cariboo and sometimes not at all.  But I was still just as happy to see him and serve him as any of my other customers.

On my last day at the bar when he knew I was going back to the mainland he gave me a $100 tip. He was always a sweet guy.

The best experiences happen when u least expect it in most situations in life. You give enough but not too much (eating/drinking should be done within reason) maybe a bit more once in a while 4 special reasons ( definitely not all the time) It's your judgement call. In the end it's just eating folks  & time should be spent on other important matters in life. This thread is becoming over kill. People get out and enjoy the sunshine

I know another barroom occupation that'll net you way more tips than slinging drinks. Best 2 pay attention in poledancin class 2 make the bux.

Full Monty, baby. Work it!

Hi jacked again by the usual offenders

one thing about girls, @James: as long as you have a blast awkwardly shimmying your way up and down a pole while making us laugh with you, you will be rewarded : )