ENTER THE HERO Having tried everything else at least once, our hero feels that it is only fair to see if there's anything in matrimony, so he has set forth in quest of something really good in the way of a wife. He is here shown at the conclusion of his affair with Mirabel, a debutante with every qualification, physical, social, and financial, of the Perfect Helpmate. But, just as everything was getting pleasantly clubby, he discovered her secret vice—she is a slave to free —almost illicit—verse. She pours out her soul in unfettered rhythms for a whole evening at a stretch and, of course, he never could have anything like that around the house

THE SECOND ENTRY The next event in the series is Phyllis, who specializes in Early Victorian work —blushes, swoons, down-cast eyes, dropped handkerchiefs, and all the rest. Our hero was just about to fall heavily for her appealing feminity, and beg her to name the bridesmaids. And then they chanced to drop in at an informal little boxing-match, and he caught a glimpse of Phyllis' inner nature (Phyllis is here pictured, in action). Our hero is painfully realizing that this effectually crabs his dream of a sweet, sunny, Edward Bok sort of ideal married life

EXHIBIT C Reader, let us present Chloe, Exhibit C in our hero's collection of possibilities. From the moment he met Chloe he was intrigued; he followed her about doggedly, always pining to see more of her. Alas, he got his wish when he invited her to the opera, and she appeared in her new Paris gown. Although he feels that, after seeing her in the dress, the ethical thing to do would be to marry the girl, still he cannot help insisting on having a little illusion left —so he regretfully passes out of her life

THE ORDEAL BY AIR The next in the batting order is Daphne, who appeared, for a time, to be the Ultimate One. In fact, it was all practically settled, until she invited our hero to accompany her on a little jaunt in her aeroplane. He felt that there were few lengths to which he wouldn't go on the ground, but up in the air was unmistakably something else again; so he offered Daphne her choice between him and her Vickers-Vimy limousine. Everything was officially declared off, and he progressed to the next on the list

THE SAD CASE OF PEGGY And then there was Peggy. Really, he couldn't have found a more perfect home body than Peggy—civil to her parents, pleasant to have around a bridge table, fond of children and potted plants. Nothing could have been sweeter—until she took him out motoring with her. He is here portrayed at the moment of registering a silent vow that if he ever gets home all in one piece, he will never gaze upon Peggy again

ANOTHER BLOW By turning your head just a trifle to the left, you will get a rather good idea of Dolores, the next to crash in on our hero's youthful affections He was in a fair way to get all worked up over Dolores' vamping specialties—until in a confidential moment she laid bare her soul to him. After that, he knew that things could never be the same

THE BITTER END And just below is the end of the whole affair. After trying out a half-dozen of the most efficient sirens of his acquaintance, our hero finally marries Mary, who rates about minus 30 in looks, brains, and charm. No one has ever worked out just why the veteran of countless affairs always eventually marries a complete physical and intellectual blank. As thle ancient proverb so aptly puts it, matrimony does indeed make strange bed-fellows