drewmagary Page 85 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
An Inside Look At The White House Pooper!
All my life I've wanted to know the details of where the President of the United States evacuates his bowels, and now an anonymous reader who is ON THE INSIDE has provided the crucial information....
The Story Of Two Guys Who Got Locked In At Camden Yards And Lived Out Every Fan's Dream
A few years ago, two men went to an Orioles game at Camden Yards. The game withstood a prolonged rain delay but was eventually postponed. Somehow, through hours of drink and delirium, our two heroes were locked in the gorgeous stadium by themselves during a torrential downpour. The story of what the...
Cockblocked By The Hoff!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Everything You Need To Know About The Upcoming NFL Labor War
The NFL season is over! No! NO! NOOOOOOOOOO! Oh, fuck you, God! You've got some nerve allowing late winter, spring, and summer to get in the way like that! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!...
Guns N' Peas Is Where The Trajectory Of Man Began Its Steady Decline
So the Black Eyed Peas covered "Sweet Child O Mine" at the Super Bowl last night, with Slash helping out on guitar. First of all, FUCK YOU SLASH. You just spent the last bit of goodwill you earned from NOT being Axl. Secondly, the journey to our eventual self-extinction has begun....
Bad Things Happen When You Have Sex While Hanging On A Shower Curtain
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
You Could Win More Super Bowls If Your Coach Were Autistic
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Cockblocked By Daughtry!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Pigs Will Eat The Poop Right Out Of Your Butt
The two weeks in between the conference championships and the Super Bowl are downright shitty. So let's tell some poop and fart stories to pass the time, shall we? It's the Pooporoo!...
What Do You Do With Your Old Sexting Photos?
We go right to your letters:...
A Horrifying Selection Of Port-A-Potty Sex Stories
What's it like to make love to a drunken stranger in an outdoor waste box? Some readers have an answer....
Ted Thompson Owes Skippy Bayless A Cockpunch
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Tom Jackson Is An Insane Person
Okay, so here's Tom Jackson saying he picked New England this weekend to motivate the Jets. When did Jackson become a fucking nutbar?...
Cockblocked By Your Own Psyche!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Mike Mayock’s Lisp Will Captivate America
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
The Fundamental Rule Of Public Masturbation
If you're at a gym and you put your shit in a locker and you don't put a lock on that locker, don't you deserve to have all your shit taken out of that locker and burned in front of you? I say yes. Nothing worse than a seemingly available gym locker that turns out to be taken by some shithead who ca...
This Is Why The BCS Eats A Pile Of Shit
What a wonderful way to end the 2010 college football season. Oh, did I say "Wonderful"? Because I meant to say "underwhelming" and "fucking abysmal."...