‘Billions’ Recap Reality Index: Season 3, Episode 5 (“Flaw in the Death Star”)

The recap is back! Welcome back to the Billions, where every week we tally a list of events from each episode of Billions that we found to be either too real to fail or as fake as a toxic asset’s triple A rating, scored on our completely subjective point system.

This week we provide you with due diligence on the fifth episode of Season 3, “Flaw in the Death Star.”

When we last saw Axe and the gang, the newest hotshots in the LP game, venture capitalists, had begun their invasion of Billions in a battle for capital and fleece vest supremacy. This week we see Taylor replace Axe on his journey to Silicon Valley scouting investment opportunities, while Dollar Bill, champion of animal rights, and Wendy approaching the breaking point. Will this be the week she finally explodes? Will Taylor give up the hedge fund life for a Tesla and solving the world’s problems one app investment at a time? Will anyone ever dethrone Dollar Bill, king of the fleece vest? Let’s take a look at the numbers and find out!

THE BILLIONS RECAP REALITY INDEX

REALER THAN A TRADER BITCHING ABOUT COMPLIANCE FUCKING THINGS UP

• “VCs are just hedge fund managers who can quote the Tibetan Book of the Dead.” Taylor bringing the thunder.
  PLUS 1
• Spyros, the douchebag head of compliance at Axe Capital rolls up to the office in his Porsche while wearing a Porsche jacket. Fucking compliance douchebags.
  PLUS 1
• Dollar Bill uses the term “libtards.” Because of course.
  PLUS 1

• Bonus point for Dollar Bill rocking the Axe Capital fleece vest.
  PLUS 1
• When Taylor arrives in Silicon Valley, Oscar welcomes them to his VC shop by offering a cup of San Jose’s finest, Chromatic Coffee. Nice touch.
  PLUS 1
• A table service app for millennials. The only thing funnier than that description is that they would probably get funded.
  PLUS 1
• Oscar brings up the very solid point that hedge funds operate on much different time horizons than VCs do.
  PLUS 1
• Dollar Bill flipping out at compliance is a thing of beauty.
  PLUS 1
• Dollar Bill calls Spyros a parasite and a paper pusher during their “couple’s therapy session.” That’s exactly how a lot of the front office sees the back office. (Also classic trader manspreading on the couch from Dollar Bill.)
  PLUS 1
• Wendy mentions Chuck and Axe got along when she first started seeing Chuck and also says Chuck was in private practice at the time.
  PLUS 1, because that’s similar to Preet Bharara’s trajectory (started off at Gibson Dunn before going to work for the government).
• Lawrence Boyd can ask for one boon from Chuck and he asks for…. his boat back which had been seized by the feds.
  PLUS 1 because a yacht is pretty much the only depreciating asset a financier can love.
• Oscar name drops that he can get a table at State Bird Provisions, a restaurant where you just might run into the top VC in the valley.
  PLUS 1
• Dollar Bill tries using capital structure arbitrage for his drug company play by going long on the CDS spread while simultaneously hedging by buying the underlying stock. Good job, Billions writers.
  PLUS 1

• Not only does Axe hold the sit down with Ari at Daniel, but we get a cameo from Daniel Boulud himself. Very nice touch.
  PLUS 1
• Axe’s speech to Ari clarifying the difference between government pencil pushers and swashbuckling hedge funders who live by taking risk and reaping the rewards is perfect.
  PLUS 1
• Lawrence Boyd doesn’t want to get involved with Connerty’s righteous crusade. He wants to get on his boat and disappear.
  PLUS 1

TOTAL POINTS FOR REAL: PLUS 14

FAKER THAN THE US ATTORNEY’S OFFICE CASUALLY FABRICATING EVIDENCE

• A startup nerd didn’t get Taylor’s reference to the Death Star exhaust port? Come on, man. (Honestly I’m really just trying to find some negative points this episode.)
  MINUS 1 (AND THEY MAKE GREAT POINTS ABOUT THE EXHAUST PORT BEING UNFAIRLY MALIGNED)
• Kate Sacker is straight up fabricating evidence to show Connerty. This is absolutely fucking crazy.
  MINUS 5

• While he would be a cheapskate that waits for someone to buy the paper before snatching a free copy from the machine, Dollar Bill would read the NY Post, not the Daily News.
  MINUS 1
• The doctor asking Axe for $200 mil for hush money… sure it’s to buy some time but still, that’s an insane figure.
  MINUS 2

TOTAL POINTS FOR FAKE: MINUS 9

OVERALL SCORE FOR “FLAW IN THE DEATH STAR”: PLUS 7

OVERALL SCORE FOR BILLIONS SEASON 3: PLUS 31

That’s a BIG PLUS 7 this week where it was honestly pretty difficult to find ways to dock points! The writers continue to do their homework and especially with Dollar Bill’s battle against compliance, they stuck to reality and made sure to have the technical down pat. Beyond the nuts and bolts, it’s a treat watching the characters on the show continue to grow and develop. Post intervention with Wendy last season, we see Woke Wags now as the careful listener there for Wendy with a bottle and a sympathetic ear, recognizing that being pulled between Axe and Chuck is taking its toll on her. Chuck continues to embrace the role of puppet master, offering favors and support for those who go along with his machinations and completely blurring the lines making the audience ask what’s the point of justice if you’re breaking laws to get there? The addition of Oscar to the cast is a welcome one as well and I hope Axe Capital making its presence felt in Silicon Valley isn’t just a brief trip.

So where do we go next week? Will Connerty finally find the missing piece he needs to nail Chuck? Will one of Chuck’s kids discover the Ice Juice Plague while trying to get some ice cream from the freezer? Will Spyros ever recover from Dollar Bill’s revenge? Stick with the recap when we return with next week’s episode of Billions.

Comfortably Smug is a government relations professional with a focus on the financial services industry. He can be found on Twitter with his musings on all things finance and politics at @ComfortablySmug

Watch Billions Season 3 Episode 5 ("Flaw In The Death Star") on Showtime Anytime