Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Red, White and Royal Blue’ on Amazon Prime Video, a Charmingly Star-Crossed Gay Rom-Com

Red, White and Royal Blue (now streaming on Amazon Prime Video) is the newest addition to the growing pile of gay romantic comedies. Playwright-turned-director Matthew Lopez adapts Casey McQuiston’s acclaimed LGBTQ+ novel about the totes adorbs love affair between a British prince and the son of the U.S. President, played by Nicholas Galitzine (2021’s Cinderella) and Taylor Zakhar Perez (two Kissing Booth movies), respectively. It’s a scenario that would be an unprecedented shitshow in real life, but nobody’s saying the movie isn’t total fantasy – I mean, there’s even a subplot about a female Democrat President who has a legit shot at winning Texas during her reelection campaign, so this movie is THIS CLOSE to being science fricking fiction. But love, as always, is real as hell, and that’s what keeps this movie reasonably grounded.

RED, WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: DATELINE: JOLLY OLE ENGLAND – The Prince is getting married; huzzah, cheerio, and all that. Everyone’s there, including the Prince’s brother Henry (Nicholas Galitzine), who’s not just one of those Royals far enough away from ever becoming king that he wonders why being a Royal is even a thing, but also one of the main characters in the movie, which is why I don’t bother to list any other attendees. Except for Alex Claremont-Diaz (Taylor Zakhar Perez), son of U.S. President Ellen Claremont (Uma Thurman), and the veep’s daughter Nora (Rachel Hilson), who’ve been chosen to represent the White House at the ceremony. SUCKS TO BE THEM, right? I mean, Alex is beside himself – with ennui. Especially since he’s frequently referred to as “the American Prince Henry,” the same Prince Henry who once looked down at him for being a stoopide Americain, prompting the current grudge. And Alex hates that snooty twerp and the stick up his ass. Hates him.

At this point, there’s mention of the wedding cake, which cost 75,000 British pounds, and there’s no reason for a movie to bring up a wedding cake that cost 75,000 British pounds if it isn’t going to be smashed to bits. Specifically, all over Alex and Prince Henry, after the former gets tipsy and confronts the latter and then the cake gets tipsy too, in a most literal fashion. And you know nothing is tastier to the press than a front-page splash of very internationally famous handsome men like Alex and Henry splattered with frosting and custard. And so the damage control begins, but before we get to summarizing that, I need to mention a joke where the Prez’s press secretary (Sarah Shahi) says the cake fiasco is one of the worst things she’s ever seen, and she’s seen Mitch McConnell eating a banana. SHOTS FIRED! 

Anyway. Henry and Alex are forced to take part in a bunch of grip-and-grins (hey now) so the world thinks they’re tight bros instead of rivals. They visit a children’s hospital and when the Secret Service perceives a threat they two gentlemen get pushed into a closet (plz note symbolism), and I think their thighs touch more than just a little bit. And in that moment, they give a little. Show some vulnerability. They return to their homes and start texting each other while Alex takes college courses and does his damnedest to get his Democrat mom to read his plan for winning Texas in her reelection, and Henry rides horses and murders foxes or whatever it is Royals do. Then the texts become phone calls and the phone calls become an invite for Henry to fly on over and hang at Alex’s epic New Year’s Eve party. And then they kiss the living shit out of each other. Now, I have some questions: Will this living shit ever fly? I mean, the son of the President of the United States being very gay for the very gay Prince of England? Will we be able to endure lines about “your royal hardness” and sex scenes that cut to long shots of the FULLY ERECT Washington Monument? My country ’tis of SQUEE!

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: Let’s consider a couple of recent big, gay rom-coms: Red, White and Royal Blue isn’t as funny as Bros, nor is it as sweet and poignant as Spoiler Alert, but it’s a mostly winning combination of the two.

Performance Worth Watching: Our two principle stars are rock-solid when the script isn’t giving them clunky lies to recite – but neither gets to unleash a nutty Texas accent like Uma does, reminding us that we can always use more Uma in our lives.

Memorable Dialogue: The funny one first:

Nora susses out Prince Henry’s orientation: “He’s first-50-rows-of-a-Gaga-concert kind of gay.”

And now the sincere exchange:

Henry: Prince Henry belongs to Britain.

Alex: Can he ever belong to someone else?

Henry: Only momentarily.

Sex and Skin: Bare bums in tender, sincere sex scenes with Alex and Henry.

Our Take: I’m on the fence here: Red, White and Royal Blue is easy-drinking escapist cuteness with enough amusing bits (Shahi’s spunky take on the press sec is a highlight) and earnest emotion, you’d have to be Old Ironsides to deny its charms. But it also adheres to rom-com formulas, shows the frayed seams of try-hard comedy (e.g., the line “Brexit your head from your body” is oh so hacky) and seems to exist in a reality dictated by lefty-liberal wish fulfillment – all stuff that brings you out of the movie. At 118 minutes, it feels as if it could be trimmed to a lean 95: Subplot conflicts are introduced only to be resolved moments later, and Alex’s yearnings to be a politician feel ill-suited to both the character and Perez’s skillset. 

Yet Lopez successfully realizes two key components: Tonal consistency and optimism. Sure, the story has its ups and downs and makeups and breakups, but it’s never melancholy to the point where it becomes a downer. The effervescent vibe sweeps up Perez and Galitzine, who kindle enough chemistry to make their on-screen relationship feel more genuine than fantastical (despite the more-than-a-bit-of-a-stretch core premise). There’s no annoying pollyannaism here, just a movie that’s unapologetically upbeat, and more about the joys of an unlikely romance than the tribulations. In the face of that, resistance is almost futile.

Our Call: Red, White and Royal Blue wins us over with its charm, which easily outweigh its weaknesses. STREAM IT. 

John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.