Stream It Or Skip It

Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Yoga Teacher Killer: The Kaitlin Armstrong Story’ on Lifetime, Where Being a Pick-Me Girl is Perhaps the Greatest Crime of All

Based on the real-life murder of young professional cyclist Moriah Mo Wilson that occurred on May 11, 2022, Lifetime’s Yoga Teacher Killer: The Kaitlin Armstrong Story dramatically reenacts and reimagines the circumstances behind Wilson’s death at the hands of yoga instructor Kaitlin Armstrong. The true crime film depicts Armstrong’s mental unbalance, her toxic relationship with on-and-off again boyfriend Colin Strickland, Wilson’s murder, and the aftermath of it all.

YOGA TEACHER KILLER: THE KAITLIN ARMSTRONG STORY: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?

The Gist: Kaitlin Armstrong (Caity Lotz) is a yoga teacher who is at the end of her rope. Beyond the seemingly picture-perfect life she leads, everything is not all open chakras and smooth sailing. She’s getting reprimanded at work for being too intense (which perhaps is merely a symptom of her background working in finance… or maybe it’s just because she’s completely unhinged) in her yoga classes. She has just turned 35 years-old to little fanfare. And worst of all, her beloved on-and-off-again boyfriend, professional cyclist Colin Strickland (Kyle Schmid), wants to leave her for a woman who’s 10 years their junior, up-and-coming cyclist Moriah Wilson (Larissa Dias).

Kaitlin is a real pick-me girl, in that she’ll do anything for Colin’s validation and attention, including but not limited to: buying a house for them and funding his lifestyle, secretly getting botox to look younger (and then skipping out on the payment, whoops), staging a home invasion, asking for gun training, and killing her romantic rival. You know, just regular girlie things. It doesn’t help that Kaitlin clearly is way more into Colin than he’s into her, and yet he keeps on going back to her, even when it seems like he doesn’t really want to, because it’s easier. And then there’s Moriah, an innocent bystander caught in the crossfire of Kaitlin and Colin’s toxic relationship, at first emotionally, and then, tragically, literally.

When Kaitlin uses a cycling social media app to track Colin and Moriah’s location, she realizes that they are hanging out together. Even though they’re just spending time together as friends, Colin neglected to tell Kaitlin who he’d be with, which proves to be the yogi’s last straw. Kaitlin has already proven to be unhinged after scaring her yoga students and threatening a fellow teacher, punching a doorframe so hard she hurts herself, calling Moriah from Colin’s phone to threaten her life, hacking Colin’s devices and tracking his activities, getting a little too into training at a shooting range, and giving the most awkward toast ever at a party she throws in Colin’s honor. But she takes this to a whole new level when she kills Moriah in cold blood then ends up on the run, thinking she can outrun the law and her own mental imbalances to still win Colin in the end.

What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: It’s reminiscent of any melodramatic Lifetime movie, really, but I guess the “unhinged and jealous leading lady in a toxic relationship with an emotionally absent guy who wants another woman” aspect of this movie feels very Gone Girl.

Performance Worth Watching: Monice Peter’s Detective April Brown is perhaps the most believable and winning performance of the whole movie. Peter imbues the character with a charming wryness that brings life and attention to a side character that could have otherwise been forgettable.

Memorable Dialogue: “I look like The Hamburglar.” Apparently Kaitlin is more broken up about unflattering prison uniforms than committing literal murder. She’s something else.

Yoga Teacher Killer Lifetime
Photo: Lifetime

Sex and Skin: Although there are no bare breasts, crotches, or booties, there is still one moment brief of PG-13 level sexual activity depicted early in the film.

Our Take: Due to the over the top dramatics and Kaitlin’s cartoonish villainy, Yoga Teacher Killer: The Kaitlin Armstrong Story is actually kind of funny, which probably isn’t ideal when the core of this film is a tragic true crime story. While Kaitlin is rightly never really portrayed as a sympathetic character, what’s wild is that she is such a pathetic, irksome, manipulative, aggressive, and selfish compulsive liar that you actually end up feeling kind of bad for Colin. Which is wild because honestly, he’s kind of scummy, himself.

He uses Kaitlin’s obsession with him to live as he pleases, stringing her along until something better comes by that he’s willing to leave for. Even then, he first hits on Moriah when he’s still with Kaitlin and still can’t even fully commit to the younger cyclist because he’s too much of a coward to leave his cushy life with Kaitlin. Honestly, I thought he was being set up to be the bad guy at first because he doesn’t do anything special for Kaitlin’s birthday, is content to let her pay for their house, and can’t even tell her he loves her, which makes us eventually feeling bad for him even sadder.

Moriah is truly a tragic figure in all of this, not only because a terrible person robbed her of what was sure to be a bright future and long life, but also because she truly seemed to be a good person. Though she had genuine feelings of admiration, respect, and tenderness towards older cyclist Colin (who absolutely did not deserve her), Moriah still was willing to cut him loose both romantically and as a friend for Kaitlin’s sake once she heard they were back together.

But Moriah’s murder and the weight of it are unfortunately drowned out by Kaitlin’s theatrics and foolishness, half-baked attempts at female empowerment, and the wildly unhealthy relationship dynamics of Kaitlin and Colin (both of them come out looking bad enough that even Colin’s bestie ditches him and Kaitlin’s own sister can’t defend her). It’s just hard to know what the main point of this whole movie is. That Kaitlin Armstrong was a sociopathic maniac driven to kill by (supposed) love? That Colin Strickland is the real culprit for leading on two women (one of which clearly had issues) at once? That yoga people are annoying? Your guess is as good as mine.

Our Call: SKIP IT! Yoga Teacher Killer: The Kaitlin Armstrong Story is more goofy than impactful, although it does serve as an effective hit piece on yoga and pick-me girls. Not sure if that was the intention, though.

Stream Yoga Teacher Killer: The Kaitlin Armstrong Story on Lifetime