Russell Crowe plans his Oscar survival strategy

Oscar buzz has escalated to earsplitting levels, but Best Actor nominee Russell Crowe (”The Insider”) isn’t tuning in. ”Luckily for me, I don’t live in this town and my jobs take me to different parts of the world, so I’m not surrounded by this hype or driven by it,” he tells EW Online. ”I’m more concerned about the hour and a half wait in the limo trying to get to the show, because that’s not something I’m going to do very well.”

That’s why the native Australian has a plan to beat the traffic snarl. ”I figure what you do is get out of the f—ing car and just walk. Because everyone else will be looking at the cars going, ‘Geena! Geena Davis! We love you!’ And I’ll just be walking past them on the other side of the street and going straight in.” Once inside, however, Crowe isn’t committed to staying. ”I’ve given instructions to get me a seat near the fire exit so I can piss off anytime I want,” he says. ”I’ll try to deal with it, though. Unfortunately, I won’t have the magnificent Miss Jodie Foster to keep me entertained this time around.”

Foster, who attended this year’s Golden Globe Awards with Crowe, has other plans. ”She told me she will be eating Chinese food half-naked sitting in her bed and wishing me well,” he says. ”It’s the half-naked thing that’s making me worry.”

Crowe takes offense to rumors that he’s made Foster his first-choice awards date to add grist to the gossip mill: ”I just happen to really respect her and think she’s a magnificent talent, and now I know she’s a very magnificent woman. We get on like a house afire.” Not that things have gotten too hot to handle. ”No, we didn’t go shopping for baby clothes, and no, unfortunately, I’m not her baby’s father,” sighs Crowe. Depending on what happens this Saturday, that could’ve been a kid with a real award-winning pedigree.