Hit List: Feb. 17, 2012

1. Adam Sandler to produce and star in adaptation of Candy Land board game
A movie about a game requiring little skill beyond color recognition? Consider this the thinking man’s Waterboy.

2. Daniel Radcliffe admits he showed up to Harry Potter set while still drunk: ”I can point to many scenes where I’m just gone”
And wait till you hear what Dobby was on.

3. Fear Factor contestant who was interviewed about drinking donkey semen on banned episode says she was then given gag order by NBC
Actually, I think that order was already given.

4. Newt Gingrich says he would like Brad Pitt to play him in movie about his life
Asked the same question, Mitt Romney answered: ”I’d want George Clooney. No, wait — Clive Owen. Well, no, actually George Clooney…”

5. Kim Kardashian says she played ”more dramatic version” of herself on Last Man Standing
So…71 days?

6. Roseanne Barr to star in sitcom pilot for NBC and run for president
That’s crazy! Does she honestly think she has a shot at turning around NBC?

7. Miley Cyrus tweets ”cracked my tail bone doing a front flip”
Anyone know what that’s code for?

8. ”Everybody Hurts” voted most depressing song of all time in survey
Told of the news, a heavy-lidded, stubbly R.E.M. sighed, rolled out of a cigarette-butt-and- cold-pizza-littered bed, and broke up with itself again.

9. Back to the Future may be coming to Broadway
”If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you’re gonna see some serious orchestra pit!”

10. Michelle Obama defeats Ellen DeGeneres in push-up contest on Ellen
She later dusted Jay Leno in a chin-up challenge, but that one didn’t seem fair.