'The Originals' recap: 'Exquisite Corpse'

As much as I love an original Original sibling, I have to give credit where credit is due, and this season has been all about the Originals 2.0. First, we had Yusuf Gatewood and Daniel Sharman giving us Finn 2.0 and Kol 2.0, and tonight’s hour was all about Maisie Richardson-Sellers’ Rebekah 2.0. Actually, scratch that. Tonight was all about Richardson-Sellers, but it was much more about crazy Eva than anyone else… because nothing heightens the drama like stealing children.

Act One: The demon inside

When Rebekah wakes up from her nap, it’s clear that she’s no longer going to use the word “bloody” in every other sentence. In other words, Eva is in control. Within minutes, she has taken down Marcel and found her way into Hope’s nursery. Klaus manages to scratch her leg, but that’s about all that happens before Eva bolts. (Seriously, what good is having two hybrid parents if they’re only good for a scratch?)

One might ask, where was Elijah during all of this? Well, I’m really glad you did, because our Elijah Moment of the Week came early in this episode, when a shirtless Elijah continued his sexual affair with Gia. At least until he was called in for duty.

After the night’s events, Klaus is on high alert, sending Marcel to find and shackle Eva while Elijah heads to Josephine’s to see if they can extend their alliance so that the witches don’t hunt down his sister. As for Klaus? Well, once he’s done dishing out the dirty work, he takes on the even dirtier work: He shackles Freya and heads to find mommy dearest while Marcel goes to the bar to enlist the help of Vincent in finding Eva.

Meanwhile, the world’s most awkward threesome—Elijah, Hayley, and Gia—head to Josephine’s. Combined, everyone hears the same story at the same time: Eva’s plan was to sacrifice a witch from each of the nine covens in order to create a new witch order and make herself incredibly powerful. Furthermore, she chooses kids because their magic is pure… and they’re easier to catch in a footrace.

Vincent agrees to help Marcel, but Elijah doesn’t have the same luck with Josephine. Despite her love of his cadence—can you blame her?—Josephine refuses to extend the deal, thereby putting a bounty on Eva’s head. According to her, Eva’s death is work sacrificing one or two people. (Little does she know that one or two people does not a Mikaelson make.)

But after Elijah lets his anger get the best of him, Josephine reminds him that she doesn’t need him. Nope, he needs her. As she looks into Hayley’s future, she tells her, that “There’s a storm coming. Your darkest demons ride upon it.” Josephine doesn’t know it’s name—spoiler: Dahlia—but she knows that “there is a blackness that should terrify you.” Hint: All the black in this photo.

Act Two: Reunited and it feels so … evil

Across town, Klaus reintroduces Esther to a couple of bloodbags before reintroducing her to her daughter. He then compels his mother to tell them the truth and help them find the spell that will save Rebekah. After a quick catch-up session—yes, Esther, Hope’s still alive—Esther begins to write the spell just as Marcel discovers Eva.

The twist? Vincent chooses his ex over Marcel and breaks Eva free after he finds out that the kids aren’t dead. Instead, they’re simply asleep. Well, and cloaked with magic, but where’s the harm in that? According to Eva, she needs one more witch to finish the ritual. And just as you think she’s headed for Hope, she and Vincent capture Josephine instead.

In the tomb with her children, Esther explains that she didn’t want to kill Hope or give up Freya, but she had to. She then tries to turn the tables and warn Klaus that Freya has had Dahlia as a mentor for 1,000 years, which means she’ll only offer to help if there’s a price.

But Klaus—who considers himself a Freya upgrade, naturally—is more concerned with Freya learning Esther’s spell than listening to Esther talk. And yet, here’s where Esther could be right: Freya says she needs an anchor to perform the spell, and she proposes Klaus. Being Freya’s anchor would mean allowing Freya into his mind and divulging all his secrets. Yeah, Klaus isn’t so much a fan of that. And cue Elijah’s entrance.

Elijah offers to be the anchor—he will not lose Rebekah—and Freya agrees. Before anyone else can stall this any longer, Freya cuts all the crap, breaks her own magic-stopping shackles, and snaps Klaus’ neck. What was that about needing a powerful witch? As she puts it to Klaus, “For an upgraded model, you’re not very sharp.” [Insert super sassy walk here.]

NEXT: Freya proves she’s a Mikaelson

Act Three: The Power of Three

After Vincent discovers that killing kids is still on the table with Eva, he knocks her out and calls Marcel. Just like that, they’ve got a location. Now they just need to unlink Eva from all of the children and free Rebekah.

While Gia and Hayley bond over their love of stoic, sexy-as-hell men—and I wish Elijah were my shoulder to cry on for 1,000 years—Marcel, Vincent, Elijah, and Freya get ready. Using Elijah as her (quite literal) anchor, Freya sends Marcel and Vincent inside Eva’s mind, where Marcel finds baby Rebekah just in time for Vincent and Eva’s reunion.

Missing out on all the fun, Klaus wakes up in the tomb to find his mother, who can’t stop brooding about the time she turned her kids into vamps. But according to Klaus, the only thing he does forgive his mother for is turning them into vampires. It’s how he prefers them. Of course, Esther still hates herself and wants forgiveness and all that nonsense, but Klaus has bigger issues to deal with. He leaves his mother in darkness as he heads out to help save Rebekah.

And he arrives just in time. As Eva is about to kill Vincent—and his “damn sexy eyes”—with one last kiss, Klaus joins Elijah to help anchor Freya, and baby Rebekah is able to stab and kill Eva in that time. Thus with a kiss, she dies.

So now, Davina’s awake, and Rebekah is back! However, don’t expect her to jump back into her original body anytime soon. Claire Holt has a new show This body is still linked to the children, so it has to stay alive for now. Plus, Rebekah needs to be a witch for Dahlia’s arrival. As for Freya knowing Klaus’ secrets? Rebekah doesn’t care that she knows his tendency to go “very far for very few.” Instead, she thinks it’s time for them to act like a united family.

But someone should really tell Freya that, because after being welcomed into the New Orleans chapter of witches by Josephine, she threatens Klaus with the one thing that actually scares him–loneliness. In a heartbreaking realization, we learn that his paranoia stems from the recurring nightmare in his head of thinking, “Where has everyone gone?” So basically, Klaus is the kid sitting alone at lunch. Who will sit with him?

Sidenote: Klaus obviously has anger issues but that comment about having a questionable taste in women better not refer to Caroline Forbes.

After leaving Klaus, Freya returns to her mother to explain why her light was snuffed out. In one word: Dahlia. In the sort of speech I have missed these past few weeks, Freya tells Esther, “I was 5, and she was the devil. She took my light, my love, my will to live, my ability to die. You are no longer my mother, but I am not her child.”

But Esther was right about one thing: Klaus should not have let Freya inside his not-so-beautiful mind, because now Freya sees that she and Klaus can never be allies because he will never trust her. So Freya’s only choice is to turn the family against him, one by one. And she knows how to do it. Why tell Esther all this? Oh, just because she’s going to kill Esther by turning her into a bunch of dead crows. One murdered parent later and it’s official: Freya really is a Mikaelson.

One hour later, we have swapped one powerful witch for another with the almighty well on her way. Bring on the storm!