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How to move on after a break-up

Soak yourself in the words of singer John Mayer in his song I'm gonna find another you; “It’s really over, you made your stand. You got me crying, as was your plan. But when my loneliness is through, I’m gonna find another you.”
Heart break. PHOTO/COURTESY

Breaking up with someone you love is hard and moving on can be a even greater challenge. However, there is no point in being stuck to someone who doesn’t want you.

Most people find it hard to move past the breakup because they either don’t know how to or they don’t want to.

Although this is a very personal decision, the first step to moving on is acceptance. Acknowledge that it is okay and it is no one’s fault.

Understand that what you had with your partner no longer exists and face the whole situation with reality. You might cry and feel sad about it, but the most important thing is to accept things for what they are.

Here are other ways to help you get on life and ensure you do not lose yourself.

Cut communication

You don’t need to hear from them or check up on them either. If you feel the urge to call them or text them, fight those thoughts.

Engage with your close friends or your family. Exercise self-control by all means.

If you keep in contact, this will not only trigger you but also give you a fake illusion that you might get back together which is not the objective.

Find new hobbies

While still embarking on the journey of self-love, you need to be occupied with something to distract your mind from dwelling on the breakup.

Although it might be hard to break the old habits, it is crucial to rather replace them with new ideas.

For instance, you could do a home or wardrobe makeover, get a pet, or train on a new skill to get you busy and allow you to forget about the heartbreak and misery.

Focus on yourself

There is more to life than being in a struggling love or dysfunctional relationship.

Most people do not realize they lose themselves in these kinds of relations as they struggle not to live for themselves but for their partners.

Focusing on oneself will help you connect with you, your strengths, and your weaknesses and most importantly help you in your growth before jumping into a new relationship.

You can achieve this by treating yourself to a trip, a spa, or even a shopping spree just to unwind.

Go ‘outside

Dress up and show up. It could be a brunch, your niece’s birthday party, or even the opening of a new joint in your neighborhood.

When you go to these events, be present. Engage in random conversations with friends and strangers and have a good time.

Don’t lock yourself in your room bottling up all those bitter feelings and regrets.

While interacting with the new folks, have an open mind. Don’t compare them with your ex and avoid generalization.

Take it easy, let life unfold

At this point, we are somehow over the ex and have new friends and potentials. This doesn’t mean you are desperate or acting needy.

However, you need to examine your past and ensure to avoid repeated mistakes.

Stay true to your feelings and only allow a new relationship when you are fully healed and ready.

Aim your sights at forming a healthy new relationship with a wonderful new partner – a relationship in which you’ll feel so happy and cherished that you never give your ex a thought.

Soak yourself in the words of singer John Mayer in his song I’m gonna find another you; “It’s really over, you made your stand. You got me crying, as was your plan. But when my loneliness is through, I’m gonna find another you.”

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