I was sitting with my friends in my flat when I saw the notification pop up on my phone: Taylor Swift Vienna concerts cancelled due to terror threats.
It was the gut-wrenching feeling of fear that came first. ‘Again?’, was the only thought that came to mind.
On May 22, 2017, my life changed overnight.
I was seriously injured in the Manchester Arena terrorist attack. Twenty two families lost their loved ones, including my best friend, Nell Jones.
I suffered 29 separate injuries, including a broken arm, two broken legs, severe burns, facial and internal injuries.
There wasn’t any part of my body that hadn’t suffered the effects of shrapnel. My injuries were like those you would see from a battlefield in a war zone. I was admitted to Royal Manchester Children’s Hospital where I remained for over five weeks. I had an estimated total of 19 surgeries that came to an end in 2019.
Nell and I had attended that concert as two 14 year old young girls. We both bonded over our love of Ariana and general pop music culture.
We had spent the previous weeks planning everything down to the last detail; what hair style we were going to wear, what makeup products to use, what outfits we were piecing together.
We even had the concert setlist saved to our phones (admittedly we put more effort into memorising song orders and lyrics than our schoolwork for these few weeks). The anticipation for the concert felt almost more exciting than the actual show itself.
This is still a feeling that I know all too well now, over seven years later.
It’s a feeling that I know was felt by all the young Taylor fans who were waiting to go and see their favourite artist live before the gigs were cancelled following the discovery of planned terror attacks.
Swift was set to play three nights in Vienna last week, before officials foiled a terror plot to kill ‘a large crowd of people’ at her concert using ‘explosives and knives’.
Austrian authorities arrested a 19-year-old last Wednesday, who they say had previously pledged allegiance to IS.
My heart breaks to know that a terror attack at a music venue was so close to potentially destroying lives once again.
I am so grateful that this plot was discovered and that 195,000 people predicted to have attended Taylor’s concert have been saved from such horrendous violence and trauma.
I cannot fathom how devastated all the Taylor fans in Vienna must be feeling at the last-minute cancellation. Or how scared concert-goers around the world must feel.
I can imagine that there’s a huge amount of people, young girls in particular, that will be concerned about their safety.
Trust me, I whole-heartedly understand.
My recovery from the attack hasn’t been smooth both mentally/physically to say the least, but there was one thing that I always knew: My love for concerts would remain the same.
I had been a regular concert-attender since I saw Miley Cyrus in 2009 when I was seven years old. I can still close my eyes and feel the bass of the music pulsing through my veins and the euphoric feeling of hearing vocals that I’d blasted out of my CD player for years.
My family and I are gig obsessed; whenever one of us takes a new interest in an artist, we’re quickly searching online for their next concert date in the UK.
Immediately after the attack, my sister, Georgia, asked me if she could attend the One Love Manchester concert (an inspirational benefit show organised by Miss Grande herself to raise money for those affected by the attack).
At the time, I was heavily medicated in hospital and couldn’t comprehend the idea of her wanting to go to a concert, when the last one resulted so horrifically. I felt scared and confused thinking, ‘Won’t the same thing happen again?’.
But a mere couple of weeks later, once I’d recovered more, my mindset changed.
My family and I had always said we couldn’t look back at what had happened with any form of hatred or anger. Only seven months on, in November, we saw my favourite artist, Harry Styles, live in Manchester.
Don’t get me wrong, on the journey there I felt a mixture of overwhelmed and scared, but as soon as Harry stepped out on stage, those feelings disappeared. I was on cloud nine as I screamed (probably a little too loudly) and sang along to every lyric.
I felt safe, wrapped up in the little concert bubble where everyone in that room shared a common love and admiration of music. It’s the best feeling in the world. It’s a feeling that everyone deserves to experience.
The world we’re living in right now seems unpredictable, unknown and frightening, especially for women. I know it’s easier said than done, but I encourage this event to not let it stop you from anything.
Life is too short to not be having the time of your life, dancing and singing your heart out, surrounded by your friends/family and thousands of others who are doing the same.
No-one will ever be able to take the memory of seeing my best friend, Nell, the happiest she’s ever been away from me. When I attend one of Taylor’s London concerts at Wembley, I will be living my best possible life, for her.
With that all said, please look out for one another. Reach out to friends and family if you’re feeling anxious about attending an upcoming show.
Share your location with nearby people on your phone when possible. Get prepared to be handing tissues out to the near-by stranger bawling their eyes out to Taylor singing All Too Well (10 minute version)’… (most likely me).
But most importantly, have the time of your life. We will not let hate win.
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