Do you ever think back to a sexual encounter and want the ground to swallow you up with embarrassment?
Of course our natural bodily functions are nothing to be ashamed of. Noises, smells and tears can be uncomfortable in the bedroom setting, but they’re all very common.
That knowledge doesn’t always make it any less awkward though. In a now-viral X thread in the group Insufferable Women Uncensored, @naniiamaria asked people to share their most embarrassing sexual experiences.
With more than 22 million views, hundreds of women took to the thread to share their stories – and, honestly, we’re glad we’re not alone.
Passing wind
Now, trapped wind is one thing that’s hard to control, and there were plenty of women who shared their mishaps involving a bit of gas.
Fafa (@honeybunch224), for example, shared: ‘He was giving me head and I farted. He asked if I farted and I said it was a queef.’
For Rene (@notfwyouhoes), this was a shared experience. She wrote: ‘I was in Reverse Cowgirl and kept farting. It was smelling crazyyy.’
Yes, it sounds embarrassing, but there’s a reason we’re more likely to fart during sex than during other activities.
Missionary position puts weight on the person on the bottom’s stomach, which can push pockets of air from the abdomen into a fart.
Some women will find themselves farting during sex because the penis inside her vagina is putting pressure on her sphincter or stimulating her anus.
Whatever genitals you have, the most common time to fart during sex is at the moment of orgasm. When you climax, your muscles relax, which means that a fart you’ve been holding in (consciously or otherwise) will be released.
Accidentally peeing
X user @miranevercared, shared their sex experience with another natural bodily function.
She said: ‘I accidentally peed on him and he thought I squirted… he still does, so I basically gave myself secondhand embarrassment.’
Squirting is when clear, watery fluid comes out of the urethra during or right before orgasm, and we very commonly see it in porn.
But if you need to wee, Metro previously explained the reason why. Penetrative sex can often end up putting pressure on the bladder, as it sits just behind the vagina.
If your bladder has any fluid inside, that pressure is going to make you feel like you need to pee. Dr Levkoff, a sex expert, goes on to note that some sex positions may intensify these feelings, such as Doggy Style or anything involving rear entry.
Dr Levkoff recommends that if you’re frequently experiencing peeing urges mid-sex, just make sure to pee before you get it on, so you can relax and confidently release any orgasm build-up without worrying that you’re about to pee all over your sex buddy.
Breastmilk mishap
For @ari38672666, her postpartum sex became a bit messy. She shared: ‘I breastfed and I was on top riding, next thing you know I just feel something wet.
‘It’s my breast during the “let down” just leaking milk all down his face and body. Face practically covered in milk. But he laughed and even tasted it and we continued on.’
Breasts leak milk when your breast feeding and this is totally normal – think back to the opening scene of Bad Neighbours, where Rose Byrne’s character is leaking breast milk because she desperately needs to express. It’s natural as anything.
Gag reflex
Sometimes when gag reflexes are involved, typically when we’re giving our partners a blow job or oral sex, we can get a little sick during sex.
Flop Era (@SUCCMINAJ_) shared her nightmare sex story. ‘I was drinking alcohol forgot I hadn’t eaten at all that day and started giving head, it was GAG CITY – throwing up nothing but tequila while giving head – but he loved it and said my eyes looked pretty.’
Each to their own, we guess.
Ouch!
But embarrassing encounters aren’t just about bodily functions, sometimes things just go a little wrong. So we’ve got some honourable mentions for some hilarious hookup stories.
Clo (@clobunnie) wrote: ‘We were switching positions and I kneed him in the balls in the middle of the action, ruined the mood for a minute while he recovered.’
That one has to have hurt a little.
Mood killer
Amanda (@c4ts4lif3) shared hers. ‘He was eating me out in the backseat of his car and a homeless person broke in the car,’ she wrote.
Honestly, one would have no idea where to go from there…
Keep your wig on
X user @ck4luv wrote in the thread: ‘While I giving head he was holding my head and my wig was slipping, lord take me away.’
If you’re someone that likes to do it in the dark – no big light here – then you may related to this one.
Ra Al (@sickitb) said: ‘In the middle of it he pulled his phone to open the flashlight to see where to put it.’
Headbagingly good
For Ny (@enijahbaby), a simple accident made things pretty awkward. ‘We were f**king in missionary and the fan fell right on my forehead hard as f**k, then we both stopped stared at each other then started laughing it was so damn embarrassing.’
For @heloveslucyyyy, the headboard was less than ideal when she was doing the deed.
‘I think the most embarrassing moment was when I was getting backshots and the headboard kept banging against the wall, so he pushed my head against it so it would stop making noise…that was my final straw for real,’ she wrote.
Got an embarrassing sex story you’d like to share? We can guarantee you aren’t alone.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
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