Looking up at my lover, I smiled as I realised just how much he was enjoying my touch.
I was at a private member’s club and people were having sex all around us. Their moans were the perfect soundtrack to our naughty activities.
My hands ran up and down his body as he began unzipping his jeans.
We were just about to take things to the next level when, suddenly, I noticed a familiar shape in the corner of my eye.
I froze, knowing that if I turned my head, I would lock eyes with my friend, Delia*, who I brought along as my plus one to this sex club.
Slowly turning to face the door, I just about caught a glimpse of her hair as she rushed out of the room. Delia had just caught me with my pants down (quite literally, as I was not wearing any) mid-foreplay.
This still ranks as one of the most mortifying sexual moments of my life and although I wanted the ground to swallow me up at the time, I’ve since realised that this is simply part-and-parcel of visiting a sex club.
Anything could happen – especially if you go with a friend, which I have done many times since.
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I can imagine some of you are shaking your heads as you read this, with the idea of seeing your mate in the throes of passion making you feel queasy. People’s eyebrows usually shoot up when they find out that I’ve taken mine along to many events.
I understand why you might find this bizarre but hear me out: Being single can often hold people back from trying new things.
The first time I went to a sex club, I was terrified. I had no idea what I might see and I worried that people would think I was strange for coming along to such an event without a lover in tow.
What I discovered was that not only is it completely normal to do this when you’re single, but it’s not actually that weird bringing a friend along as company, either.
A few years ago, I was planning to attend a sensual dinner. At the time, I had no long-term partner.
While I am a confident woman, the idea of being stuck, alone, making small talk at a table with a bunch of naked swingers was fairly intimidating.
But I didn’t want my relationship status to stand in the way of my experience. So, I roped in a male friend – Benny* – to come along.
He happily accepted and I wasn’t particularly surprised by his reaction to my invitation, as Benny is an open-minded, confident guy with a six-pack to boot.
He was just excited at the prospect of getting laid – with someone that wasn’t me, may I add.
It was an eye-opening evening with several exercises designed to loosen the group up, including a nude paint show and a lesson in shibari, a Japanese form of intricate bondage.
I had some great conversations and a saucy moment with a man in a hot tub.
Benny had a good time, too – I found him naked and tangled up with a gorgeous woman against a wall in the stairwell.
Most of the evening went by without a fuss, but there was one point when I started to feel a bit uncomfortable by the many couples around me. While they were all happy to shag, many of them latched on to their partner towards the end of the night.
One of the downsides of being single at a sex club is that you might occasionally feel left out. But knowing that Benny was there – even if he was having sex with someone in a different room – helped.
In this instance, I didn’t want to stand in the way of his fun, so I just hung about while he finished (pun fully intended) and then suggested we leave.
It’s good to remember that sex events aren’t just about sex. They can be whatever you want, especially if you’re with a pal.
On another occasion, one friend and I spent the majority of the evening chatting on a sofa while drinking wine as people romped in the background.
Another time, I spent the night dancing away to a live band, completely ignoring the couples feeling each other up on the stands behind me.
They had their fun, my mate and I had ours.
Similarly, I once took a friend along for a week-long trip to a popular swingers’ resort in the Caribbean.
Sure, there was some sex – including a raunchy night in a pool grotto – but we actually spent most of the time hanging out on the beach, enjoying the buffet, doing karaoke in the buff and just having a laugh.
For anyone wondering, I don’t bring my friends with me to have sex with them.
I’m not saying you can’t do that if you want but as for myself, sleeping with a mate would open a can of worms that I decided to close long ago.
My point in all of this is that being single doesn’t mean you can’t have just as much fun as couples do.
But if the idea of doing it alone is intimidating, I get by with a little help from my friends – as the song goes. And you could, too.
Go, laugh, have sex if you want – or don’t – and then head home for a debrief over drinks.
If nothing else, I can promise that you’ll have some hilarious memories to revisit years from now.
* Names have been changed
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