It’s thanks to Molly-Mae that I stopped feeling ashamed about my secret

Admittedly, there are few things that me and Molly-Mae have in common (besides, of course, having the same 24 hours in a day).

I have never been on Love Island, nor have I ever shopped at PLT – much less been a creative director for the fast fashion brand. Sadly, neither am I a millionaire or have I been able to perfect that iconic high bun the way she does with such ease.

But beyond her incredible hair, extensive collection of co-ords and enviable streak-free tan, there is something about her that’s always resonated with me, since I first saw her on screen during season five of the reality TV show.

I’m talking about the fact that she still has a soft toy – a raggedy elephant named Ellie Belly.

So novel was it at the time – that someone on mainstream TV should have a teddy and make a point of packing it in their suitcase ahead of a trip – that the inanimate object stole many a headline, becoming a star in its own right.

We saw cute footage of the toy squished in between Molly and Tommy in bed. It was also used by the boxer as a prop when he first confessed his feelings for Molly. Fans even petitioned for a Wiki page to be created, citing Ellie Belly as an official cast member of the show.

So, why did it strike a chord with me?

Well, since 1991, I have had a penchant for teddies, and have steadily grown my collection over time. I have a gangly, pot-bellied bear named Barnaby; a stuffed Totoro I picked up in Japan; and, most importantly, Muffin, an off-white bichon frisé whose name had already been bestowed upon him, as per his label.

I love all my stuffed toys, of course, but Muffin is especially important to me. My dad got him for me when he went away for work, and I have had him since the age of six (I am now the ripe old age of 32, for reference).

Unlike the others, which are either in the cupboard or safely stowed away at my mum’s house, Muffin takes pride of place on my bed, nestled in between my cushions, propped up on his hind legs.

I sleep with Muffin pretty much every night – though I should point out I’ve never taken him on holiday or to sleepovers, past the age of ten.

I find it comforting to spoon him, as I curl up in my preferred foetal position – I especially like it when he’s just been washed and I get whiffs of fabric softener as I nestle into him.

And it’s not just when I am alone that I indulge in cuddles. While I do often tuck Muffin under the bed (after giving him a squeeze and apologising profusely, of course) when I first bring a guy home, I have been known to hug Muffin while sleeping next to boyfriends.

Mostly, they’ve not found this to be strange at all. But some have feigned jealousy when I turn over and favour a teddy over them. More disturbing still is that a few of them have found it funny to leave poor Muffin in strange positions, thinking it’s hilarious for my cherished childhood toy to be defiled. Sickos.

Then, I suppose, after my father’s death, Muffin became even more significant to me. Yes, he is a stuffed toy, but he is also a reminder of my dad.

According to psychotherapist Nicola Noél, my snuggling into a teddy doesn’t mean I’m ‘stunted or regressing’ (phew!). She explains to me that instead, ‘it often means the opposite; that you’ve found a way to self-soothe in a world that’s far too often overwhelming.’ Amen.

Nicola adds: ‘Adults who continue to sleep with their toys or blankets are tapping into a tool that helps them manage stress and anxiety. It’s a coping mechanism, plain and simple – like having a glass of wine to unwind at the end of the day or doing yoga to clear your mind.’

She also reassures me that there are more adults out there with teddies than you’d think. (Should we start a Teddies Not-So-Anonymous?).

‘There’s no shame in it. For some, these objects are more than just relics of childhood; they’re symbols of continuity and emotional security. When life gets tough, many people turn to these items as a reminder of simpler times or to give them a sense of grounding. It’s a comfort strategy that’s stuck around, and honestly, if it works, why toss it?’

Now, while I do frequently pop Muffin in the washing machine, as mentioned, a lot of people don’t – the same goes for other comforters, like blankets or favourite T-shirts.

‘People often resist cleaning their treasured items because doing so might alter their sensory qualities, the smell, the feel, even the way it looks after a wash,’ Nicola explains. ‘These features can be a big part of why the item is comforting in the first place.

‘It’s not about hygiene; it’s about preserving a certain emotional essence. I’ve heard clients describe their attachment as if the item itself holds their memories, their emotions, and let’s face it, a little bit of their identity too.’

Dr Elena Touroni, consultant psychologist and co-founder of The Chelsea Psychology Clinic, also suggests that if your partner does get bugged out by the whole teddy thing, it’s best to have a chat with them about why you still have one.

‘It’s important to approach the conversation with openness and understanding,’ she tells Metro.co.uk. ‘Encouraging a compassionate and non-judgmental discussion can help both partners respect each other’s needs and perspectives.’

Nicola also adds that it could be helpful to explore why it bothers them so much – after all, there are usually more pressing things to worry about in a relationship than a soft toy.

That said, if you find the habit does take over, it might be time to reassess. You could talk to a therapist about your dependency, or try weaning methods to help you reach for the teddy less.

‘Start by reducing the amount of time spent with the item, perhaps only using it during particularly stressful moments rather than every night,’ Dr Touroni advises. ‘Finding alternative sources of comfort, such as a new bedtime routine, mindfulness practices, or even a different comforting object like a soft pillow, can help ease the transition. It’s important to be patient with yourself during this process – change can take time, and it’s okay to let go at your own pace.’

As far as I’m concerned, it is a healthy habit. I can leave Muffin at home when I go on holiday and I prioritise hygiene over a festering ball of fluff. I also think of the night-time ritual as just that: similarly to how I run myself a bath or put on a Calm Sleep Story before bed, snuggling into Muffin is a relaxing tool that helps me feel comforted and at peace.

It doesn’t hurt anyone else, so why should I – or Molly-Mae – care about judgement from others?

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