Imagine standing in a long queue for two hours. You want to give up but because you’ve already wasted so much time, you feel you should stick it out.
This is sunk cost fallacy. It’s the idea that so many of us keep enduring something we hate because we’ve already come so far and poured so much into it, instead of opting for the most fulfilling outcome.
It can also apply to work. Think of that dead end job you’ve been in for so long, hoping you’ll finally get something back from it, but it never comes.
For TikToker Madie Scott, she shared her last day as a lawyer and her emotions as she walked out of her office for the last time – it hit nearly four million views on the social platform.
She said: ‘This is your reminder not to commit to the sunk cost fallacy! Don’t pour 30 more years into something that doesn’t fill your soul with joy and purpose. It’s never too late to start over, reset, shift gears, change directions, try something news, chase your dreams, take a break or take a chance!’
‘I just left the office on my last day as a lawyer, I don’t know if I want to cry or laugh, but I think I feel good,’ she added.
With more than 440,000 likes and 2,000 comments others shared their fears and desires when it came to starting over.
User April (@tinyhouseapril) wrote: ‘CONGRATULATIONS!! Lawyer-turned-yoga-instructor here. Still working on the transition but I’m not far behind you!’
@gigamon5 agreed, writing: ‘As an ex-physician, it’s scary until you get your footing again. But you’ll never regret it, because the whole point of life is to actually live.’
Lilly (@sugarcaines), meanwhile, said: ‘Me at 23 wondering if it’s too late to hit the reset button.’
But many fall victim to this fake belief that if we’ve spent loads of time and energy on something then we should keep going.
HR expert Tsvetelina Nasteva tells Metro.co.uk: ‘People often get stuck in jobs they don’t like because of the sunk cost fallacy. This happens in all kinds of work, no matter how long someone’s been doing it.
‘Many people can’t quit jobs they hate because they feel they’ve put too much time and effort into them already.
‘Some think staying at one company for a long time will pay off, but that’s not always true. While some places do reward loyal workers, many don’t anymore. So, lots of people stay in jobs that aren’t good for them, hoping they’ll get noticed or move up, even when it’s unlikely.’
Tsvetelina adds that lately more and more people have fallen into the sunk cost trap after money troubles and Covid made people want to play it safe.
She also believes that the appearance of over-achievers and successful entrepreneurs on social media makes it harder for us to admit when a job isn’t working out.
Employee relationship expert Jim Moore, for Hamilton Nash, agrees. He tells Metro: ‘There’s nothing worse than a Sunday night ruined because you’re dreading Monday morning at work.
‘However, some people are afraid of jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.
‘We’ve seen some well-known companies downsize or even close completely in some sectors. For many workers, a secure but dead-end job feels safer than taking a risk on moving to a new role without knowing how long it will last.’
He also explains that mortgages, children and other cost-of-living pressures can anchor people to predictable pay cheques, even if the job is unfulfilling and dull.
Mortgages, children, and other cost-of-living pressures can anchor people to predictable pay checks, even if the job is dull.
When it comes to relationships the same could be said for long term couples who have spent so many years together and made so many memories, it feels easier to stay than just to break-up and move on.
Yes, you’ve spent Christmases, holidays, birthdays, highs and lows and milestones together but if something is no longer serving you, and you feel it can’t be salvaged, it’s not healthy.
Sex and relationships coach Ness Cooper previously told Metro: ‘It’s very easy to stick it out just because you have other interlinking goals and aims such as the desire for children, but you really have to think about whether or not you want to manifest these goals in a relationship structure that you don’t fully feel comfortable with.’
Your relationship dynamic ultimately has to work for both of you, and if it isn’t anymore, then something needs to change instead of having a sunk cost mindset.
Ness added: ‘Anyone wishing to stay together should take time to work through the current relationship discrepancies with their partner first.
‘It’s likely other conflicts will occur later on in the relationship too, as that’s just the natural fluidity relationships generally take, and the last thing you want is to let them pile up and collapse together.’
‘However if when addressing the current troubles with your partner, you are just being ignored no matter how often you try to bring them up to work through, then it may be time to leave.’
You also have to consider whether the relationship tension is affecting any children you have together, as staying together for their sake might not be a better option, and whether there is room for you to be yourself.
A healthy relationship has to allow space for each partner to also be an individual, Ness adds. ‘If there’s no way to be you in the relationship, you need to really think about whether it’s worth staying around just for the relationship status.’
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