BY now you know — unless you come from a bizarre religious cult where TV is banned — that DreamWorks and ABC are scrambling to find the perfect replacement for Michael J. Fox on “Spin City.”
And they’re talking to Charlie Sheen.
If you’re a “Spin City” junkie, (test: do you check into the various “Spin City” web sites, or worse — have you created one yourself?) chances are good that you’ve already entered de-tox and plan a long course of re-hab re-runs to help you wean yourself clean.
How can anyone — particularly Fox’s polar opposite — replace him at “the hall”?
Afterall, no guns were ever enough guns to replace the sheer hair volume of Charlie’s original angels.
And it wasn’t the change of zipcode that took the zip out of “Beverly Hills 90210.” It was losing Shannon Dougherty that did it for me.
It’s not that the shows die right off, and in fact, sometimes the replacement fizzlers do better in the ratings than the original sizzlers. It’s just that they begin to feel like “been there, done that — now let’s do dream sequences.”
It is even possible, although it’s as rare as legs on fish, that the replacement parts are better than the originals. (Think Shelly Long’s Diane being replaced by Kirstie Alley’s Rebecca, or Woody Harrelson replacing Nick Colasanto’s Coach. In fact, in the afterlife, Alley and Harrelson became genuine big deal stars on their own.)
But why Charlie Sheen? He’s as much like Michael J. Fox as I am.
But maybe that’s the charm. Afterall, once upon a time, when DreamWorks honcho Jeffrey Katzenberg was a kid, he worked at City Hall. As a go-fer.
Teenage Katzenberg was taught all the things a young politician (or movie mogul) should know: How to gamble, count cards, pick up girls and work like an animal. Charlie Sheen has the perfect resume for the job.
And if all else fails, never forget that Charlie Sheen’s father, Martin Sheen, is President of the United States on “West Wing.”
If the president can’t pick up the phone and get his kid a job at City Hall, who can? Politics runs in the family.