August 18, 2002

EVERYTHING IS OUT IN THE OPEN

Linda Wells' desk may not be clear, but it is organized. Stacks of files, magazines, papers and manuscripts populate the desk of the editor-in-chief of Allure magazine, even though she...

SHIELDING YOUR MONEY FROM IRS

THE most common complaint by investors is they lose too much of their gains to the tax man. Investors pay out nearly one-fourth of their mutual fund returns to the...

TAXICAB CONFESSIONS: YOU'RE FIRED!

Another fat cat is about to bite the dust. The evidence: a hastily scribbled note found on the floor of a New York City cab on Friday morning. "Fall back...

LAUGH AT LEARY? WELL I ALMOST...

"Contest Searchlight" 10:30 Wednesday night Comedy Central ------- I DIDN'T expect much from "Contest Searchlight," perhaps because it was being introduced in the dead of summer when viewers and TV...

BROOKE BURNS

Brooke Burns didn't worry when critics growled at her stunt-filled reality game show, "Dog Eat Dog." "My manager and I were on the floor laughing so hard when the [bad]...

4 QUESTIONS FOR DEAN CAIN I NEVER STARTED OUT TO BE AN ACTOR

Who are your heroes? My heroes are my father, Chris Cain, and my son Christopher. My dad, because he taught me how to be a good man, and my son...

DIAL P FOR PARANOIA

If you're not paranoid now, you might well be after catching the "Paranoi-a-thon" at the Two Boots Pioneer Theater. Five classics and one world premiere will unreel, kicking off Wednesday...

MUCH LONELIER NIGHTS WITHOUT THE SMOKE

"Where's the fun gone in this city?" I overheard a guy groaning in my deli last week. "If they're going to ban smoking in bars, can they at least put...

BRIT'S 'BANG' AND 'BOMBAY' TO B'WAY

For New York theatergoers, a visit to the London scene is a bit of a guessing game. Which new London musicals are likely to hit Broadway next season or the...

SAD STATE OF OUR FAIRS

I may be a slick, big-city newspaper columnist who spends his days sitting at a PC trying to figure out what the "Scroll Lock" key does, but dag nab it,...

WHAT I WATCH

CAITLIN WACHS, Actress, "Family Affair" "My favorite is "Smallville" because it has realistic story lines with the twist of the superhero, so I get to still have that fantasy of...

THE SAVVY SHOPPER

SWIMWEAR Malia Mills 263 W. 38th St., between Seventh and Eighth avenues, 16th floor (212) 354-4200, ext. 214 Open: Sun.-Sat., 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Sale: Aug. 20-Aug. 23. If you plan...

HIGH NOTES & LOW NOTES

BAWDY BOSS: Proving that his engines haven't cooled just yet, Bruce Springsteen introduced his wife, vocalist Patty Scialfa, to Madison Square Garden as "natural viagra," then said drummer Max Weinberg...

DOWNTOWN FEST IN A PICKLE

Pucker up for International Pickle Day. Next Sunday marks the second year for the downtown festival, which drew 4,000 fans last September, despite rain and limited access due to the...

CUT-AND-RUN PHONIES INJECT FEAR INTO BEAUTY BIZ

Phony "doctors" peddling bogus Botox and other discount beauty fixes are spreading through New York faster than a bad bacteria. Experts say the boom in shifty practitioners is largely spurred...

IT'S THE ATTACK OF THE CLONES!

LAST week, a childless couple - and from the sound of it, rightly so - announced on "Connie Chung Tonight" they are planning to become the parents (if that's what...

SOME QUESTIONS TO PONDER

EATING out Loud: How is it possible that every coffee shop in town has an outdoor cafe but Le Cirque, which isn't even allowed to serve food in their own...

MARTHA/MOTHRA

THERE'S a reason God invented interns and assistants - to take the blame for big shots. Joining the ranks of infamous interns Monica Lewinsky and Chandra Levy comes Douglas Faneuil,...

LESS THAN ZERO

THE redevelopment planning for Ground Zero is becoming like the definition of giraffe - an animal made by committee. Families of victims, fawning pols and community butt-inskys (as my mother...

CLINTON PAL RICH $UED BY BIZMAN

A former business adviser of high-profile Democratic donor Denise Rich has filed a lawsuit against her, claiming that she promised to pay him millions in management and finder's fees but...

NASA GADGET MAY ID SUSPICIOUS MINDS

Airport security screeners may soon try to read the minds of travelers in an effort to identify terrorists. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration has told Northwest Airlines security specialists...

HER FUTURE'S GOING DOWN THE TOILET

AGAIN we invoke the ghost of Scott Fitzgerald: "The rich are different from you and me." What Scottie boy didn't know was that in the case of Lizzie Grubman, it...

BURNING ISSUES STEAM THE APPLE - 'BUTT-LEGGERS' SELL ILLICIT CIGS UNDER COPS' NOSES

Mayor Bloomberg may have helped raise the price of a pack of cigarettes to $7.50 and the City Council may be trying to ban smoking everywhere, but The Post found...

VISITING CELEB PALS BOOST JAILBIRD BLAKE

LOS ANGELES - A laundry list of A-list celebrities has brightened the lonely jailhouse life of Robert Blake, regularly visiting the actor and accused killer behind bars in recent months,...

FEDS TURN UP HEAT ON MARTHA

As the deadline looms for Martha Stewart to hand over documents to lawmakers, the feds sacked her stockbroker's offices - removing boxes of evidence related to the ImClone insider-trading scandal....

DUBYA'S COUNTRY B&B - WHITE HOUSE GUEST LIST HAS LESS BANG, MORE TWANG

The White House is still open for business where overnight guests are concerned, but it has said goodbye to Hollywood and hello to - Larry Gatlin? The country music-maker, and...

GRUBMAN COPS OUT TO 90 DAYS - GETTING AN EASY PASS AWAY FROM INFAMOUS L.I. SUV MOW-DOWN

Lead-footed p.r. princess Lizzie Grubman will cop a plea Friday to 90 days in prison for mowing down 16 people outside a Southampton nightclub last summer, The Post has learned....

VICTIM: IT'S ABOUT TIME!

The bouncer Lizzie Grubman allegedly called "white trash" before she plowed over him and 15 others with her SUV said he's relieved she's going to pay the price and spend...

LAST OF TRAGIC B'KLYN SQUAD IS LAID TO REST

IN a small red brick church on Long Island, the bell tolled for the 12th and final time for Brooklyn's Squad One. Friends, family, and firefighters as well as Navy...

WEIRD BUT TRUE

Unlike most of its neighbors, Downingtown, Pa., wasn't lucky enough to have been the site of a Revolutionary War battle. So to rectify this unfortunate historical difficulty - and to...

YESTERDAY'S FATAL SHOOTING IN BUSHWICK MAY BE TIED TO AN ANOTHER BROOKLYN KILLING

Yesterday's fatal shooting in Bushwick may be tied to an another Brooklyn killing, police said. David Cromartie, who died in Wyckoff Hospital, was gunned down as he was hanging out...

DRIVERS KILL MAN, HURT PREGNANT MOM

A pedestrian was killed on Queens Boulevard and an eight-months pregnant woman was hit by an allegedly drunken driver in Brooklyn in separate accidents yesterday, police said. Wladyslaw Zrodlo, 51,...

SUMMER MAYHEM - FOUR KILLED, 15 HURT IN SPATE OF VIOLENCE

Horrid weather gave crime no reason to take a holiday as 16 people were shot and three were stabbed in a flurry of weekend violence. Two of the shooting victims...

POLITENESS POLICE COULD POUNCE ON POLS' EVERY PEEVE

ONE day your name is Bloomberg, and the next it's Caesar. One day you're elected mayor in a democratic election, and the next you're looking for something in a nice...

BRAVOS FOR FOTOG'S BRAVEST SNAPSHOTS

Each picture Laura Yanes takes of a courageous firefighter is worth "a thousand thank-you's," she says. The Manhattan photographer has made portraits of about 2,000 of the city's Bravest, and...

BIG PACK OF NYPD PROS SMOKES OUT SMUGGLERS

The NYPD's newly formed Cigarette Interdiction Group has arrested seven bootleggers and seized 1,305 cartons of untaxed smokes since the city hiked cigarette taxes July 2. CIG cops also confiscated...

HUGE HOLE IN AIRPORT SECURITY STAFFING

The U.S. government is struggling to hire federal security screeners at the Port Authority's New York-area three airports, even as a congressional deadline to fill the vacancies looms and confidence...

UNTANGLING MYSTERY OF TWO WTC 'WIDOWS'

The tangled ties of a World Trade Center victim who lived with one woman but was secretly wed to another has led a judge to order an investigation of the...

YOU'VE GOT E-MAIL

FROM Linner: "My name is Butch. After I was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer, and my oncologist guestimated I had about six months to live, I asked my doctors...

A TOAST TO TABLE 3: PALS PAY TRIBUTE TO POST'S LATE LEGEND

On a sweltering Thursday night last week, habitués of Elaine's, the clubby Upper East Side eatery, were remembering Neal Travis, the New York Post columnist, author - and fixture at...

IT'S KLEIN TIME FOR SCHOOLS - NEW BOSS IS FACING DAUNTING CHALLENGE

Joel Klein is the city's new schools chancellor - effective tomorrow. As the nation's trust-busting lawyer, he took on Microsoft. Now he has a tougher homework assignment. The new schools...

FINAL RESTING PLACE FOR CANINE HEROES OF TERROR WAR

JERUSALEM. ISRAEL'S fallen dogs of war will soon get a new, beautifully landscaped cemetery - as debate is under way about their use in such dangerous missions as foiling homicide...

VICTORIA GOTTI

MOST people would settle for just being a boy-band star, but not *NSYNC's Joey Fatone. The rhythm-master, move-making singer is showcasing his many talents on various stages these days. Fatone...

IT'S NOT SING SING, BUT IT'S NO PICNIC, EITHER

It's not exactly Alcatraz or Attica, but the Long Island lockup where Lizzie Grubman will park herself for 90 days is anything but the lap of luxury. The Yaphank DWI...

BROTHER'S RECOVERY FUELS FUNK

CHASKA, Minn. - Fred Funk will be a happy man regardless of whether or not he wins the 84th PGA Championship. Having his brother escape the darkness of alcoholism is...

SATHER, MESS NOT IN SAME BALLPARK

NO CAUSE for alarm, not yet, probably won't be at all, but things aren't going all that swimmingly in Glen Sather's contract negotiations with Mark Messier now that the Captain...

NHL TARGETS RANGER$ PACTS

THE NHL's peculiar and tasteless assault against its own CBA in general and the Rangers in particular continued with its Aug. 7 rejection of both Bobby Holik's and Darius Kasparaitis'...

OWNERS ASSN. DUNKS FED'S BOAT-SAFETY 'SWITCH'

THE administration's push to put all federal programs now administered by the U.S. Coast Guard into a new Department of Homeland Security - especially its boating safety program - is...

GUTSY LIBERTY ON THE BRINK

When you're on the brink of elimination, there's little room for sugarcoating. Witness Vickie Johnson. "There is no other time," the Liberty guard said. "There is only one thing, right...

WIDE-OPEN FIELD OF NINE IN LAKE PLACID

SARATOGA SPRINGS - Assuming today's Grade 2, $150,000 Lake Placid Handicap stays on the Mellon turf course after all four of yesterday's grass races were switched to the main track,...

HOPING FOR RE-PETE - SAMPRAS LOOKING FOR OPEN JUMP-START

Pete Sampras' stirring run last year at the U.S. Open really began the week before in Commack. In the throes of a year-long slump, Sampras arrived in Long Island hearing...

WOODBURY HAS SEEN & DOES IT ALL

The quiet one was Eric. The loud one was Tory. They grew up together in the Happy Hill Gardens in Winston Salem, and they were inseparable. In a way, they...

LONGSHOTS GET HERM'S ATTENTION

Free agents DeAngelo Lloyd (DE) and Andrew Davison (CB) are writing longshot underdog stories at Jets camp. Lloyd is sacking the quarterback and recovering fumbles and Davison is intercepting the...

'AMIGA' BEST IN 'BAMA

SARATOGA SPRINGS - In a sensational comeback, Farda Amiga - making her first start since winning the May 3 Kentucky Oaks - came with a bold late rush under Pat...

JINTS PLAY GIVE-AWAY IN UGLY LOSS TO FALCS

ATLANTA - Too much success in the preseason can lead to complacency, bad habits, a false sense of security. At least that's what coaches preach after failure in the preseason....

OLD MOOSE RESURFACES IN VICTORY

YANKEE NOTES SEATTLE - Nothing about Mike Mussina's warmup yesterday instilled confidence in a pitcher that needed a solid outing. Thirty minutes from facing Ichiro Suzuki, John Olerud and Edgar...

PUBLIC'S LAST SHOT AT ROYCE BROOK WEST

LOCAL GOLF The spirit of Horace Greeley is alive and well at Royce Brook Golf Club, where the term "Go West" has taken on new meaning. In fact, it's time...

ALFONSO, YANKS 2ND TO NONE - SORI GETS 30 -30 IN EASY WIN

SEATTLE - How high can Alfonso Soriano fly? That's a question nobody in the baseball world has an answer for after Soriano became the first second baseman in history to...

JUSTIN TAKES CHARGE - LEONARD FIRES 69, GRABS 3-SHOT LEAD AT WINDY HAZELTINE

CHASKA, Minn. - Justin Leonard welcomed the wind, figuring the tougher the conditions the better his chances were. "My game and temperament is better suited to par being a good...

BEEM, FUNK DARE TO DREAM

CHASKA, Minn. - Justin Leonard, Tiger Woods and Mark Calcavecchia have all won at least one major championship. Fred Funk and Rich Beem haven't given up hope they can win...

WILLIAMS' HIT STREAK STOPS SHORT AT 11 STRAIGHT

YANKEE NOTES SEATTLE - Bernie Williams' third-inning, two-out grounder didn't sneak through the left side of the Mariners' infield yesterday and his consecutive- hit streak was snapped one short of...

TIGER WON'T SOON FORGET MIRACLE SHOT

PGA NOTES CHASKA, Minn. - Add this to the collection of memorable shots by Tiger Woods. When play resumed in the second round of the 84th PGA Championship yesterday morning,...

WORST TEAM MONEY CAN BUY: PART II

AS a way of defending his decision to bench Jeromy Burnitz of late, Bobby Valentine mentioned before last night's game that Tony Tarasco had been the Mets' best hitter recently....

ODALIS' PITCHES WERE NO SECRET

MET NOTES You want to know what the funny thing about Odalis Perez' near-perfect game last night? "The funny thing is, we had Perez pitches," Met manager Bobby Valentine said...

TUA KOS MOORER IN FIRST

ATLANTIC CITY - David Tua is the hardest puncher on the planet, and proved it again last night - along with his worth as a heavyweight contender. It took just...

AMAZIN' DISGRACE - AS ALL-TIME MET TEAM WATCHES, '02 CLOWNS FALL INTO LAST PLACE

In the history of the Mets, there have been some embarrassments, but it's hard to imagine anything worse than last night. It was the night the franchise celebrated its 40th...

ROTE'S DEATH WAS BIG NEWS . . . BUT NOT ON LOCAL RADIO

KYLE Rote played his entire 11-year pro career, most of them as a star, from 1951 through 1961, with the New York Giants. A first-round pick from SMU, where he...

UP FIVE RUNS, ONE OUT TO GO - GREAT SAVE!

TUESDAY on MSG, after Howie Rose noted that the Padres' Trevor Hoffman, in to pitch with two outs in the ninth and a 7-2 lead, can pick up a save,...

WHEALY NOT FOILED BY SWITCH TO LUMBER

YOU come out of college where it's Aluminum Bat City and it's natural that you're going to struggle when you start swinging wooden bats. Then there's Blake Whealy, who's doing...

BAILEY'S SUCCESS IS ENVY OF RACING

SARATOGA SPRINGS - Has a jockey ever dominated the game the way Jerry Bailey does today? Seven years after entering the Hall of Fame and 11 days short of his...

BOOMER MOURNS DEAD PAL

YANKEE NOTES SEATTLE - David Wells' love for music has enabled him to meet a lot of big names in the industry and he has grown close to some. One...

FONZIE'S STRAINING TO RETURN

MET NOTES Edgardo Alfonzo's left abdominal strain is improving, but he may not be ready to return from the DL on Tuesday. Alfonzo estimated he feels 70 percent normal when...

MONEY NOT ANSWER FOR METS

A DECADE ago it cost $45 million to assemble The Worst Team Money Could Buy. This year it cost $102 million. Thus, we have another case of inflation for deflation....

ALFONSO, YANKS 2ND TO NONE - SORI GETS 30-30 IN EASY WIN

Yankees 8 - Mariners 3 SEATTLE - Alfonso Soriano is a 30-30 man and the Yankees are burning holes in the AL East. Soriano became the first second baseman in...

THE TY IS TURNING - ROOKIE MAKING A NAME

The nights were perfect at Jack Murphy Stadium, allowing Ty Wigginton to take in two or three games per week with his family With the beautiful skies and ideal temperatures,...

TIGER HITS ONE OF HIS 'ALL-TIME GREATEST SHOTS'

PGA NOTES CHASKA, Minn. - Add this to the collection of memorable shots by Tiger Woods. When play resumed in the second round of the 84th PGA Championship yesterday morning,...

JUSTIN TAKES CHARGE - LEONARD UP BY 3 AT WINDY HAZELTINE

CHASKA, Minn. - Justin Leonard welcomed the wind, figuring the tougher the conditions the better chance he had to remain among the leaders at the 84th PGA Championship. "My game...

SEHORN'S BACKUP READY FOR 1ST TEAM

GIANT NOTES ATLANTA - If Jason Sehorn is not going to be ready for the Giants' Sept. 5 regular-season opener, Will Peterson will start in his place. Judging from his...

MARSHALL HUNGERS FOR WVU MATCHUP

HUNTINGTON, W. Va. - The three-for-one deal that Marshall president Dr. Dan Angel made his counterpart at West Virginia, David Hardesty, on the steps of the state capitol in Charleston...

SHOT AT LEWIS IS UP FOR GRABS

ATLANTIC CITY - Michael Moorer is a two-time world champion, a 34-year-old past his prime who abused his body the way he once abused foes. David Tua is a title...

PATRICK EYES COACHING JOB WITH WIZARDS

If Patrick Ewing retires as expected, he's a good bet to join the Wizards as an assistant coach. A report out of Washington said he's already interviewed with the Wizards...

THE CATCHER IN DECLINE - STILL ONE OF THE GAME'S BEST, PIAZZA SURE AIN'T WHAT HE USED TO BE

HERE is a scary thought for Met fans scarier than Roger Cedeno chasing a fly ball with topspin, Jeromy Burnitz against a lefty with a good slider or Scott Strickland...

THE INSIDERS

MINI-SIZE IT! - BEST WAY TO HELP MET HITTERS? BRING IN THE FENCES AT SHEA If you can't beat em, bring in the fences. Only the Florida Marlins play in...