THE Catholic Church, which has been rocked by more sex scandals than Bill Clinton (well, almost), managed to take the heat off themselves last week by finally getting a couple of perverts fired. No – notpriests! (That’s why God invented rehab, medication and meditation.)
The firing furor concerned rabid radio retards Opie and Anthony, two of the most mean-spirited women-haters ever on the air. I’m all for free speech, pal – that’s how I make a living – but you lose me when you think breast cancer is funny.
But that’s not why they were given the boot.
It took a radio stunt that went as sour as one of their jokes to do the deed. The two geniuses offered “points” to any equally dopey, nearly-as-unattractive half-wits willing to have sex inside St. Pat’s.
A coupla out-of-towners stepped in and dropped ’em before the cops showed up and cuffed ’em, which, given the circumstances, was probably a thrill.
Why it took a stunt in a church to get these guys yanked off the air is what’s so puzzling, really. Does it have to involve religion for people to get outraged?
Their station, WNEW, should have pulled their sorry butts off the air when they had a celebration after a woman who had criticized them got breast cancer and had to have a radical mastectomy. Why were they allowed to make jokes about how great it would be to have her pose topless with her missing breast? I was sickened.
The next time I tuned in to the show (the second and last time I tuned in, which I had to do for my day job), they were asking moms to call in and tell them what disgusting things they’d do to score a couple of Britney Spears tickets for their kids.
One woman volunteered to have sex with her daughter in front of them. They thought that was just great. I don’t know what happened, because by then I was projectile vomiting and forgot to bring a radio into the bathroom with me. Fired? They should all have been arrested.
Who’d want morons like that for listeners, anyway? Oh, yes, WNEW, that’s who. And, of course, that squeaky-voiced guy from the Samuel Adams beer commercials, who happens to be the brewery owner. Didn’t you know? The contest was called “Sex for Sam III.” The prize? A trip to the Sam Adams brewery – O&A’s major sponsor.
Instead, the copulating couple may get a trip to beautiful Rikers Island – all expenses paid.