SHALL we conjugate? He amazes. She amazes. They amaze. We amaze. Willie Mays. Amazamanos.
What never ceases to amaze eventually does. Amazing, how that works. Once, but no more, we were amazed by guys who strike out a lot – a Mike Cameron – yet take strike one right down the middle when strike two and strike three won’t be nearly as hittable.
And while it’s amazing that some coaches, as a matter of counter-intuition, still choose not to foul with a three-point lead and under 10 seconds left (Larry Brown, Tuesday), it’s no less amazing that they’d have any of their defenders even standing inside the 3-point circle. If the other guys want a layup or a short jumper, give it to ’em!
And on ABC, Doc Rivers, NBA coach of the past and future, didn’t get it right away, either. Have there been even three games when fouling at such a moment has led to a loss? Yet, failure to foul at such a moment has turned many wins into losses (see: Knicks under Don Chaney, Lenny Wilkens). Amazing.
We weren’t the least bit surprised that Mike Francesa gave that Bill Parcells slur the what’s-the-big-deal? treatment. To Francesa, unpardonable slurs can only be spoken against Parcells.
And we weren’t at all surprised to find that Parcells’ apology was released in a statement. Bigshots are often given to offending in public, apologizing in private.
And we weren’t surprised that his apology was one of those kinda/sorta numbers, to those “who may have been offended.” That’s a lot different than an apology for making offensive remarks.
And it’s not as if Parcells could plead ignorance. A headline in a local paper Tuesday read, “Parcells Issues Apology After Japanese Slur.” It might’ve read, “Parcells Issues Apology Before, After Slur.”
It wasn’t particularly amazing that Ron Artest was fined during the playoffs for making an obscene gesture when ESPN/NBA playoff promos featured a rapper gesturing toward his crotch.
And now reader Brett Briscoe informs us that the refrain from that promo – “Let’s Get It Started” – are re-worked lyrics, the original being, “Let’s Get Retarded,” as performed by the Black Eyed Peas. Briscoe writes that he’s amazed that, “with all the music out there,” ESPN and the NBA would choose such a song.
Some things that no longer amaze can still infuriate. Monday, when the Lightning, having just won the Stanley Cup, began to joyfully pour onto the ice, the ABC/ESPN director gave us crowd shots. We got to watch people watching what we wanted to see. Again.
It took years for TV’s directors of tennis matches to realize that the only way to show a point being played is to stay high and wide, that if you cut to close-ups and different angles in the midst of a point, you end up behind the play, showing nothing, while the TV audience suffers from motion sickness.
But that’s the way ABC/ESPN shot the entire Stanley Cup Finals. It’s not hard enough following the puck, ABC/ESPN saw to it that by the time it cut to a different camera, the puck was already out of the picture. Amazing.
Mark Morley, a reader from Connecticut, is only slightly amazed that Coors Light, the official beer of the NFL and maker of drink-and-go-nuts NFL commercials, distributes Coors Light bottle openers designed to be attached to your key chain so that they can fit nicely next to your car keys.
And speaking of drinking responsibly, Shea Stadium patrons are still encouraged to drink responsibly, yet the only peanuts sold at Shea are laced with salt, to keep thirsts and beer sales up.
Amazing, how those tough-talking, trash-talking dudes on Fox Sports Net’s “Best Damn Sports Show, Period,” turn to pandering goo when a big name joins them. Tuesday, co-host Chris Rose provided the following introduction: “Please welcome back our good friend, The Commish, David Stern!”
Finally, Barry Bonds, figuring he deserves more and wants his own, this season demanded that his name and image be removed from MLB-licensed video games. Thus, in EA’s “MVP Baseball 2004,” the Giants’ slugger and left fielder goes by the name of – wink, wink – Jon Dowd.
It was John Dowd, you’ll recall, who investigated Pete Rose for MLB, leading to Rose’s removal from the real version of the game. Amazing.